WILL
If ever there was an example of self torture, this situation is surely it.
Why did I agree to come here tonight when I knew Izzy was coming? When I knew that setting eyes on her would send me into a tail spin.
I had to look away the second I saw her walk in the door, happily smiling and laughing with Annie, all while flanked by that asshole.
I couldn't leave my sister in the lurch though. She literally cried as she told me how short staffed she was for tonight, and I never could say no to her tears. This is our dads place, we can't let it fail. What's a little bit of mental torment if it means the success of Benny's right?
Annie has worked her ass of for this for weeks, and I'm so immensely proud of her for making it work. I wouldn't be able to forgive myself if I played any part in it not going to plan. So if I have to deal with Izzy and that dirtbag being here, then Annie is the only person worth doing it for.
I felt Izzy's eyes on me as I moved from table to table. Any one of them but hers. I couldn't possibly give that animal with her the satisfaction.
If I had been a little more valiant, I'd have marched her ass back to Annie's apartment the night I found her with her face all messed up, and I would have made her stay put. Or I'd have had the balls to make her take my spare room and not worry so much about the consequence of it. I don't know why I was so hell bent on not wanting to get too close to her.
Either way, I should have never let Izzy leave and go back to a monster like him. I should have told her the truth. Instead, I find myself here, letting our staff serve that lowlife boyfriend of hers.
Her boyfriend. I have to repeat those words to myself just so I can try to believe it. They just don't make any sense together. The guy is an alligator. He might be strong and quick, hell, he could even be intelligent in a way, but ultimately he's a bottom feeder, and he will drag her below the surface without a second thought, suffercating her in his misery. And she is too damn special for that.
He'd never have been invited here at all if I had my way. I know Annie was trying to be a good friend to Izzy, but I honestly have no idea how either of them can stand to be near him.
After dinner, when I saw Izzy standing alone, I thought about approaching her for all of a millisecond before I did it. That's the kind of hold she still has over me. I was like a school kid with a crush, fumbling around asking about cocktails... what a fucking dumbass.
Regret took over as soon as I spoke to her, because all I came to find out was that she was hurting over the choice I made. It kills me to know that I've made her feel like she's not important to me, but how else am I meant to protect her?
He was never going to let me be part of her world, not as a friend or otherwise. We both knew that the second he 'surprised' her that day at lunch.
Watching them tonight was agony, but I couldn't look away. I told the bar staff that I wanted a running tally on his drinks, and as he pounded away one after the other, I knew I had to keep an eye on him.
I saw her face when he pushed her hand against him, she was scared, whether she admitted it or not.
That was the kind of thing I thought I was saving her from by cutting ties between us. I figured that maybe Izzy knew something that I didn't, and that he could turn over a new leaf just like she insisted he would. But I could see that fresh start wouldn't happen for her if I was involved, he made that clear the day I met him. So I choose her, only it meant that I couldn't have her.
And now, it looks like there never was a new leaf, just new ways for him to play with her.
It would have been a pleasure to have kicked him out of here when I saw what he did, but how would that of fared out for Izzy? That's the thing with somebody like him, other people pay the all the consequences, and I won't let Isobel take the hit because I wanted to see him get what he deserved.
Why did she lie for him when I saw what he did? What is it about him that makes her so blind to the worst parts of him? She doesn't care about whatever money he has, five minutes in her company would tell you that. Sure, he's a good looking guy, but there's plenty of them out there, and she could have her pick. I know from experience that he doesn't quite have that killer personality either… so what is it that makes her stay?
I never wanted anything more from Izzy than a quick night together the evening I met her, that was my sole intension. It's not the most gentlemanly thing to admit I know, but it is what it is.
I'd debated going back and asking her for a drink or some coffee for over an hour, usually I'd have left it and just called up one of the girls I normally saw, but I couldn't shake the need to know Izzy. And I haven't picked up the phone to anyone else since.
As we walked down the street towards that coffee house together, I couldn't believe how nervous I felt, I never get stressed like that. And then, when she admitted her wrongdoing and told me she had a boyfriend, my heart sank. It was instantly game over.
Of course, then she went and scared the shit out of me with that panic attack, and that flipped things on their head all over again.
Seeing her go through that was like watching a past version of myself as she fought against what her mind was telling her and clawed for her breath to come. Without a doubt, I was meant to help her that day. I've never been so sure of anything in my life. I don't know if I believe in fate or any of that stuff, but if there's one thing that could convince me, it's that day.
If Izzy had been anybody else, I imagine I would have walked them through that breathing technique and never seen them again. But there was something about her that left me wanting more. It felt like the night I met Kim. Actually, if I'm wholly honest, it felt much bigger than that. I think that's the reason why I couldn't stay away from her, despite any efforts either of us made.
When Kim up and left, I was entirely destroyed. But I sat back and did nothing to stop it happening. I didn't argue, I didn't beg her to pick me, not that I believe it would have made any difference, but I didn't try. I let her go, because I wasn't willing to fight for us.
She's happily married now, and the proof is in the pudding that she probably made the right decision, regardless of the way she did it. But all this time later, and the feelings I experienced when she left are still with me.
For a long while after Kim and I broke up, I didn't know what my future looked like anymore. Everytime I met someone, my only thought was that I wasn't good enough. It became a struggle to allow anyone to get close to me, because I didn't want to risk something so heartbreaking happening again. So I suppose it became easier to date girls for a little while, and then call it a day before any feelings started to appear. That way, I never had to question if what I brought to the table was enough for anybody else.
And then I met Izzy.
The feelings I developed for her caught me off guard. They sank in quick, creeping their way through me and prying open a door that I kept closed, allowing her light to touch every part of me. I never once second guessed myself around her, I knew I could be everthing she needed. I still know.
I kept trying to cut her lose from my thoughts, but then I'd see her again and become more and more intrigued by her. Everything about Izzy felt like it was made for me. Her smile, the way she blushes when I say something I shouldn't, how much love there is in her despite what she's dealt with, even the way she can't tell a joke correctly. It's all perfect. I was, and still am, infatuated by her.
When I had to stop seeing her, I tried to convince myself that I never felt any of that. I told myself that Izzy could do what she wanted, and that I didn't care if that meant she was with him, because I didn't want her.
But if that's so true, then why did I just sneak off to the bathroom so that I didn't have to watch her leave?
I came in here, cursing him and sulking like a kid. I hate how helpless I feel when it comes to them being together, and that I can't just simply punch his lights out without it landing back on her.
Doing my best to calm down, I take in a deep breath, and let it out again as I clutch the bathroom sink. I repeat it, going through the motions of everything I've learnt to do over the years to keep my head on my shoulders.
I can hear some of the staff calling out orders to the barmen, and I know it means that I can't hang around in here too long. I'll have to get back out to the bar before Annie loses it. She's only going to be sympathetic to a point tonight, and she's already gotten smart with me once about the fact I was holed up in the kitchen.
I quickly wash my hands so I can get myself back out there, sure that Isobel and that dickhead have left by now.
Unfortunately, somebody somewhere really wants to test me, because as I dry my hands in a towel, the door of the bathroom slowly creeks open, instantly making me question why I didn't use the staff toilet instead of the customer one…
"Will, fantastic."
Of course it's him, this is just too fucking perfect. Only I could get this lucky.
I don't waste my breath replying to his sarcasm, he's not worth it. But I do watch him in the mirror as he shuffles around behind me to a urinal, he seems pretty tipsy.
I think back to the night I bumped into Izzy outside that hotel, another time that fate was hard to argue with.
She said that he was drunk when he hit her then, so what does that mean for her tonight?
Anger begins to bubble up inside of me at the thought of him touching her, I need to get the hell away from him before I do something stupid.
"You never had a hope Will," he says, his voice echoing off the empty stalls around us. "With Izzy I mean. You didn't stand a chance with her, you know that right?"
He pulls up his zipper and moves towards the sink, keeping his attention on me as he does.
I could tell him that I stood plenty of chances when her mouth was wrapped around me the night she came to see the band play, but there's no winners here if I do. And I'd like to keep that memory for myself anyway.
Instead, I watch him silently. Giving him nothing more than a tiny smirk, subtly confirming that we both know he's wrong.
"Izzy knows where her bread is buttered," he continues. "The very idea that you two believed there would be a friendship between you was sad enough, but you were delusional if you ever thought she'd fuck you."
I should leave. I should turn around, go back out front and help Annie out like she asked me to, but fuck it if he isn't asking me to punch his lights out right now. So I bite.
"I'm so glad you're here to tell me that," I say, smiling at him, "I've always wanted a jealous boyfriend to give me their unbiased opinion."
His beady eyes narrow as I continue to stare back at him, refusing to let him see how much he bothers me, but he acts like I haven't said a word and continues on with his little rant.
"Women like Izzy need to be managed Will, and you don't have that in you. I can tell."
Managed? Is this guy serious?
"I wonder if Isobel would appreciate you talking about her like that?" I ask.
He flinches at hearing the use of her full name. I know I've got to be careful for her sake, but I couldn't stop myself dropping that on him.
"Well, it's a good thing these mirrors can't talk then, isn't it?," he says, holding my glare as he throws his hand towel into the basket.
"Sure is," I nod in agreement, "and I suppose it's lucky for you that they can't laugh either."
He smiles at that one, but stumbles slightly on his feet. He's a little more drunk than I first thought.
"Hum... you've a sense of humour Will," he says, "I'll give you that much. That's an important quality to have for someone like you."
"Someone like me?" I question.
"Yes," he says, sliding his hands into his pockets and taking a step toward me. "Someone with so few options. I mean look, I know this place does well, and that you're far from the bread line and all, but this is it for you isn't it? The silly music thing will taper off eventually, and then you'll still be right here, clearing dishes."
My fists ball at my sides. How ironic that he's the one looking down on me when he's the lowlife.
I keep my cool, ignoring the obvious bate. He's drunk, and even if he wasn't, this still wouldn't be a fair fight.
He cocks an eyebrow my way as I decide to back away, he knows that he's pushing it, but that's what he wants. Either that or he just doesn't know when to shut the hell up.
"Your sister told you all about Izzy and I didn't she?," he asks. "I knew she had a big mouth the moment I met her."
That stops me still. I know he's goading me in the hope that I'll lose it, but even with that knowledge, I've never been more curious to find out if someone was worth a lifetime prison sentence or not.
"Y'know what," I say, gritting my teeth. "I think it would be a lot less humiliating for you if you went ahead and left my bar of your own accord, rather than by having me make you."
He chuckles away to himself. "That's why you're brooding over there isn't it? Because you don't like the way that I handle things with Izzy."
He leans himself against the sink, so cocksure that he has me chalked up.
"Is that what you call knocking her out?," I say, "Handling things?"
A self-satisfied grin appears on his face, the sick fuck is glad that I know what he does to her. My fists twitch, I don't know how I'm supposed to hold myself together any longer.
"So I was right," he says, "your sister does have a big mouth. Gosh, I hope Izzy doesn't mind Annie spilling all of her secrets. Something that big could end that friendship too."
Of course he thinks Annie was the one who told me. He probably thinks he left Izzy too afraid to.
"Isobel will eventually see that you're nothing," I spit. "She won't stay around to be treated like shit forever, even someone as insane as you must see that."
He scoffs at the idea. "And where will she go huh? Running to you? Is that what you're banking on? Because I gotta' tell you Will, with the way she screams my name every night, it doesn't sound like she's going anywhere soon."
I have to close my eyes just to try erase that image, but he quickly replaces it with one that's worse.
"See Will, the thing about Izzy is this; I know that she likes the things I do, even when she says she doesn't."
A twisted look takes over his face as he continues to spew his depraved thoughts. "She loves things a little rough, most women do. If I tug her hair a little, she's wild for me. If I pin her down, she is begging me not to stop. And if I slap her ass, she'll let me do just about anything I want with her. So how am I supposed to know where the line is after that?"
The way he talks about her makes my stomach turn. How can he think any of that sounds normal?
"Girls like her, they love it Will. Hell, I'm not ashamed to admit that I've come to enjoy the cat and mouse part of it myself," he says. "But you know what? They love the dramatics just as much. The tears fall when they decide they liked it yesterday but not today, or when they want to get all in their feelings, so there's no real way to know what's what. We have to figure it out as we go. You understand what I mean?"
I've listened to just about enough of this, and as hard as I try not to, I lose my composure.
Closing the space between us, I grab the collar of his shirt, pinning him against the sink. The smell of liquor off him is overpowering.
"I'll tell you what I understand," I say, keeping him in my grip, " it's that guys like you believe they won't ever have to answer for the things they do, but you will, I can promise you that."
He wrestles with my hold, but I don't give him any breathing room.
"Now you better do yourself a favour here," I say, "and leave my bar, before I do something you regret."
Izzy is the only reason I've let this idiot keep his teeth in his mouth, and it's the thought of her that allows me to let go of his shirt, shoving him toward the door as I do.
He steadies himself, stumbling a little as a result of the drinks he's had. I look on as he brazenly faces me again. This guy just doesn't know when to quit.
"She really did a number on you didn't she Will?"
I stare back at him in disbelief, he must really want me to hit him.
"I thought that you were just looking to get your rocks off," he says, "but you actually like her don't you?"
A jarring look of realisation crosses his face, this can't be good for Izzy.
"What did she do?" he asks mockingly. "Did she tell you all about her piece of shit life? Cry her little tears? Is that what does it for you?"
"As opposed to what?" I ask. "Knocking her around like you do? You're a twisted prick you know that?"
There's that fucking smirk again. I'd do just about anything to wipe it off permanantly.
"Does she know how obsessed with her you are?" he asks. "Have you told her?"
I feel myself losing the last few shreds of my self-control. "I'm giving you two seconds..."
"You know what's funny," he say's, ignoring my warning, "all this time, I was actually a little intimidated by you. But now? Now I know that you're just a pathetic asshole thats wasting his time pining over another man's girl."
"And you're just the dirtbag that hits her," I reply, all but confirming every suspicion he has.
"Maybe so" he says, inching closer again. "But it's still me she'll come home with."
"Not forever," I tell him.
"You think so?" he asks. "Well in that case, maybe I should make one thing very clear for you Will. I will never let anyone take what's mine. Never. I will ruin Izzy before I ever hand her over to someone like you."
"Hand her over?" I ask, entirely disgusted. "Do you hear yourself? She's not something you own!"
"She's exactly that Will! Exactly that!," he spits. "I decide what she does, when she does it and who she does it with, and I can promise you right now that it won't ever be you again."
My eyes burn a hole through him. All I want to do is take his head and bounce it off this floor like a damn football. I could kill him, I could quitle literally bury him here and not have a shred of remorse about it.
As if he knows exactly what I'm thinking, he tries to push things that bit further.
"You want to hit me don't you Will?," he asks.
He's either very stupid or very brave, I highly doubt it's the latter.
"Go ahead, do it," he says. "I'll even give you the first swing."
He's only macho enough to say that because we both know that if I hit him, he hits her. His game is rigged, and it's not one I'm willing to play. I step toward him, bringing us toe to toe, I know I could take him out in a heartbeat right now if my hands weren't tied.
"You're not worth it Jamie," I tell him. "I know it, and so does Isobel. You're spineless, and she doesn't need me to break your nose to see what a coward you are."
I have to force myself to do the smartest thing I can do right now and get a whole lot of distance between him and me. His snickering follows me out into the corridor as I storm past him, and it takes everything I have not to turn around and redecorate that fucking bathroom with his insides.
I rush through the bar, passing groups of faceless people calling my name. Laughter and the sound of glasses clinking together with bellows of 'cheers' fill my ears, but I can't stop to take it in. I need to calm down.
Marching back to the office, I burst through the door like I'm trying to take it off its hinges, but it ricochets back towards me like it's after bounching off of something.
The smell of her perfume hits me first, the way it so suddenly shifts my anger is comfirmation of what only she can do to me. Looking down at the floor, I realise I've just knocked Izzy onto her ass while charging in here.
She looks up at me in surprise. Her little leather skirt is riding up her thighs, and it makes me feel like a creep just for looking. I rush myself forward to pick her up.
"Jesus Izzy I'm so sorry! I wasn't expecting anyone to be in here."
Taking her hand, I pull her to her feet and dust her off. "Are you alright?"
"I'm fine," she says, "don't worry about it." Her face is the colour of a beetroot, but I'm the one who should be embarassed. "It's my own fault for sneaking around in here," she insists, "I was looking for Annie."
"She's out front I think. You're not hurt are you?" I check her over again, making sure she has no cuts or bruises.
"No, not at all! Honestly, don't give it a second thought." She quickly fixes her skirt, pulling it down and then smoothing out her shirt. "It's not the first time I've been knocked on my ass anyway," she says. I know she's kidding, but talk about bad timing.
I make the effort to exhale as much anger about it as I can.
"What has you so worked up?" she asks, worry etched all over her face.
I'm not about to tell her that it's the parasite she's here with. Why risk getting her involved. The fact I argued with him is risky enough, it's safer for her if I keep my mouth shut.
"It's nothing," I tell her, "the wait staff are taking too long getting orders out, that's all."
"Oh, I never had you down as much of a whip-cracker Will, you sure thats all it is?"
The fact she's concerned enough to check on me after the way I acted towards her earlier is a true testament to the kind of person she is. That guy will never ever deserve her.
"Positive," I tell her, hoping that it's the last time she asks. "But speaking of tyrant bosses, you really shouldn't be in here. Annie has called this the 'staging area' multiple times today, and she'll kill me if she thinks I brought you back here."
"Don't worry," she breezes, "I'll tell her it was my fault. I only came back to say goodbye to her anyway."
Izzys eyes meet mine for a fraction of a second before she looks away again. "Actually umm… I'm glad I caught you Will." She fiddles with the sleeve of her shirt. "I wanted to apologise for earlier," she says, "you know, for what happened out at the bar."
She's too embarrassed say the words, but I'm not.
"You mean when your boyfriend forced you to put your hand on his dick?" I ask daringly, wanting to know if she'll admit the truth now that it's just us.
"Uh…" She fumbles, falling over words she won't say. "I think he just got a little carried away. He's had a lot to drink, and we haven't been out like this in a while."
I couldn't care less about him or his inability to handle his alcohol. All I care about is the fact that she's making an excuse for him, and I don't understand why.
"You don't have to lie for him Izzy," I tell her, "I saw what he did, and I saw you too, you were scared of him."
"I wasn't scared," she insists, doing so far too quickly. "I was taken by surprise that's all. He's drunk."
"If you say so."
I roll my eyes, annoyed by how infuriating she is. Why would she protect him like that?
Izzy glances over my shoulder, eyeing the door. I'm the only thing standing between her and it, and I bet she's worrying about that jackass out front finding out that she's in here with me.
"Well," she says, biting her lip, "I better go see if I can find Annie."
She moves to step around me, but willingly comes to a stop when she feels my fingers brush her wrist. That single touch is enough to spark every desire I have for her and send it ripping through me.
What was I ever thinking telling her that I didn't want a relationship with anybody?
I don't want anybody. I want her.
Goosebumps surface on every inch of my skin, I know I'm not the only one that feels whatever this is between us. Her big doe eyes stare into mine as we face each other. I don't think I'll ever get used to how stunning she is up close.
"Tell me that I shouldn't kiss you Izzy."
I hear her breath catch in her throat, but she says nothing. "Tell me," I say, "and then I'll never have to wonder if I was wrong to let you leave."
She stands there, blinking up at me as I wait for any indication from her that I should move out of her way.
Staring down at her soft pink lips, I know that there's probably a million reasons not to kiss them, but without her say so, not a single one of them will stop me.
I don't let her silence fill another second before her face is cupped in my hands and my mouth is on hers, kissing her so fiercely that it feels as though we're suspended in time. Everything and everyone else is forgotten, there's only us, moulding to each other the way we were always meant to.
Snaking her arms around my neck, Izzy pulls me closer to her, kissing me back like it's all she ever wanted to do. I hope she never lets go.
Her mouth is some form of drug. A sweet tasting fix that I can't seem to get enough of. Her tongue meets mine, and a hundred thousand fireworks begin to explode in my brain. Every breath we take, every moan, every touch of the hand sets off another adventure of thirst for her that I can't quench. I will never get enough of her.
As she presses herself against me, the desperate need for more takes us over. I'd give this girl everything she ever wanted if she'd stay with me, if she would be with me.
Guiding her to the wall behind, my hands begin to slowly explore the curves of her body, coaxing a tiny whimper from her that drives me fucking insane. How did I think I could ever stop this?
Pulling back for a breath, I tell her the one thing that I've needed her to know all along.
"I want all of you Isobel," I say, "every single bit."
I'd give her all of me too, if only I thought she'd take it. But just as quick as this happened, I feel her go stiff.
Cautiously dropping my hands away from her, I take in the look of sheer panic on her face. Shit, she's thinking about him.
"Izzy, I-"
"I need to go," she says, swallowing down her true feelings and looking like a deer caught in headlights.
"Hang on, just wait one minute, please."
I know I can make her see sense if she just listens to me.
"No, I cant Will," she says as tears already begin to fall. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have let that happen, I should never have let any of this happen."
Squeezing past me, she reaches for the door, but I can't let her go again. She can't walk out of here without knowing the truth.
"Izzy stop," I plead with her. "Please, just talk to me."
"No, you stop Will!" Izzy's hand shakes as she spins around, pointing her finger to my chest. "What the hell were you thinking kissing me like that? Do you have any idea what Jamie would do to me if he found me in here with you?"
The reality of her words sit atop the mountain of tension between us. All I've ever wanted to do was keep her safe, but she never will be as long as she's with him. How can she not see that?
"I do know what he'd do Izzy." I say gruffly, "Its the exacxt same thing that he's going to do to you when he doesn't find you in here."
She shakes her head, entierly consumed by her own fears.
"You know that this doesn't make a difference Isobel," I tell her, "not to him, because even if he never finds out what just happened here, he's still going to hit you like he did. And he'll do it a hundred more times after that too. He will always find a reason to do it Izzy, because thats what he wants."
She jerks away, refusing to see him for who he is.
"Thats not true!," she says, her voice cracking under the strain. "You have no idea what you're talking about Will."
"Yes I do! He enjoys it Izzy, he just told me as much. He doesn't care about the why, just so long as he can keep making you think that its your fault."
"What do you mean he just told you?" she asks, her words coated in suspicion, "Have you spoken to Jamie tonight?"
I know I thought that it would be better not to tell her, but screw it, if Izzy knowing the truth means that I have a chance of getting her the hell away from him, I'm taking it.
"Yes, thats why I stormed in here," I admit. "And I only kept it from you because I didn't want to take the risk of you challanging him. I was protecting you."
"Protecting me?," she accuses, "Is that why you kissed me somewhere he could find us? To protect me?"
"Jesus Christ Izzy, I've just told you how little that guy gives a fuck about you, and all you're concerned about is the fact that I kissed you? He's going to kill you one day, you get that right? All you are to him is a plaything, nothing more. He said so himself."
"He... no," she shakes her head, "you're lying. Jamie wouldn't say that."
Izzy backs away from me, her anger completely clouding her judgement.
"Why would I lie to you?"
"I don't know," she cries, "I don't know why you do anything Will. You've messed with my head so much that I don't know if I'm coming or going with you."
"I've messed with your head? What about him? Does he really have you so unsure of yourself that you can't see the truth?"
Izzys eyes glaze over in a mixture of fear and doubt. I've completely messed this up, and she has no reason at all to trust me now, not after the way I let her down, but I still have to try.
Taking ahold her hands and pull them to my chest, hoping she'll hear me out.
"Please listen to me," I beg her, "I'm sorry that I pushed you away, I was an idiot to believe that I was actually helping you, or that I could somehow ignore all of the feelings that I have, because they're there Izzy, every minute of every day, you're the one I'm stuck on. I'm crazy about you. I've been crazy about you since the day I met you."
Gently raising my hand to her face, I wipe away the tears that I swore I'd never put there. "I was conflicted" I choke out, "I never wanted to be that guy, the kind who would intensionally come between people… but that's not what this is, I relaise that now. I don't owe him an ounce of sympathy for any of this, and neither do you."
I can feel Izzys body physically trembling, I've never seen anybody so afraid. I'm not even sure that she's heard a single word I've said until she finally looks up at me. I try to reason with her one last time.
"Izzy, please stay. We can deal with all of this together, I promise, I won't ever let anything happen to you again."
Tears continue to stain her cheeks under the weight of what I'm asking. And all I can do is wait, holding my breath in the hope she can see that I meant every word I just said.
"No," her voice quivers, "I can't... it's too late Will. You're too late."
With that gutpunch, she pulls open the door and rushes down the corridor before I have a second to argue.
More than anything I want to follow her, but if he see's me near her, it's her that it falls on. I can see now how blindingly scared she is to leave him, and I finally understand it. This was never about her choosing him, it's about how much she fears him.
I rub at my temples, grunting at the shitshow this night has turned into. It went from total ecstasy with her, to a complete nightmare in five seconds flat.
How can he enjoy seeing her so petrified? How can he want to hurt her? Witnessing her like that just this once is more than enough for me. I don't think I'll ever come close to understanding him or his pleasures.
I have to find a way to reach her. Izzy has to see that she's got a way out, even if she doesn't want me. She needs to know that I'm on her side regardless, and that she doesn't have to stay and take what he gives. I've got to help her.
I've got to fight for her.