I couldn't sleep, not because of nightmares or anything, I'm just not sleepy. The magical girl transformation seemed to have the same side effect of twenty cups of espresso. I'm just so wide awake right now.
"Mami?" I muttered while sitting up on the bed. I looked to my left and saw an empty spot. I yawned a little and walked out of the bed, looking for the girl. "Mami? You there?"
A few minutes later I finally found her, just an ordinary girl sitting alone on the balcony. She was looking at the night sky above her while playing around with her gem. I couldn't really see her face, but I'd imagine she's not all that confident right now.
"Can't sleep?" I asked while sitting down beside her. Mami looked at me and I can finally see her face. It's pretty clear now, the one thing that's been weighing her down. "How long have you been alone?"
Mami sighed a little and looked down. "All my life actually..." she said. "My parents died in a car crash when I was young, Kyubei came to me that day and made me into a magical girl," she explained.
"You wished for your survival?"
"Something like that, I can't remember the exact wording," then she looked at me. "What about you Haios? How is your life?"
I lowered my head and put a hand over my face. "Fucking hell... Sometimes literally, yes I'm serious. But mostly figuratively," I put a hand over Mami's shoulder. "In the last world, I was beaten to death and revived for like seventy times, being eaten alive, and forced to see my boyfriend tortured to death by my own sister."
Mami didn't say anything; she averted her gaze, not daring to say a word.
I sighed a little and pat her back a little. "But that's my life, not yours. Don't think about it that much."
After a moment of silence, Mami finally spoke up. "Haios san, earlier today you asked Kyubei if he can grant you someone's death. Is it your sister?" she asked.
"Yeah," I held up my hand before she can say anything. "Listen, don't think about it too much okay? I won't be here for too long, probably a few months, so don't let me weigh you down."
"I understand," Mami said, though I can see that she's still a bit bothered by all that. "Just that..." she paused and let out a mirthless chuckle. "Just hearing about your problem makes mine look so pathetic by comparison."
"It's not pathetic, just the big difference of scale. Kinda like how elephant can lift up hundreds of kilograms yet the tittle of the strongest animal goes to the rhino beetle," I told her. "Who knows? Maybe you're stronger than me in comparison."
"Perhaps..."
Another five minutes were spent in silence. I took that moment to think about this whole magical girl business. Fighting to death for a single wish and other things like that. It's kinda fishy how Kyubei chose little girls instead of a strong willed people like someone from the army.
"Haios, what's it like in another world? Is it like ours?" Mami asked.
I shook my head. "No world is the same as far as I remember. There are world where little kids are taught how to breathe fire and walk on water at the age of twelve. There are world where not just planets, but galaxies are at war with each other, there are world where gods and powers that be were kept in boxes by mankind..."
"So that's the reason..." Mami said in realization. "I've been wondering but... I think I get it now..."
"What reason?"
"The reason of why you're just so brave," Mami said. "You're already used to everything that nothing can be anything more but some minor convenience," she sighed a little and looked down. "You're not afraid of anything, right?"
Huh, never thought about that. I really do have no fear of anything...