A few hours later...
I took a bite out of a delicious plate of sweet cake. Mami was kind enough to let us rest in her house and treat us with some desert. Not to mention that her house is just freaking awesome, especially since I'm homeless.
"Mami this is delicious!" Madoka exclaimed while Sayaka just nodded in agreement.
"Mami, just know that you are the first person to give me anything since I arrived here in this world," I told her before taking another big bite of the cake. "You're a hero, you know that? If you're a boy, I'd probably propose."
Mami blinked owlishly as if not sure how to react. "Thank you Haios san..." then she looked at Madoka and Sayaka. "Since you've all been chosen by Kyubei, there's something I need to go over."
I took bite out of the cake as Mami showed us a beautiful golden gem. "This is a soul gem, when Kyubei make a contract with a girl, the soul gem is born," she pressed the gem close to her body and it glows a little. "This is the source of our magic and our identity as a magical girl."
Just hearing the word 'contract' gave me about a dozen flashbacks from across the multiverse. "Excuse me, what contract?" I asked her.
"I will grant you one wish, any wish you desire!" Kyubei exclaimed.
"Huh? Really?" Sayaka asked in slight disbelief.
"Yes, any wish at all. I can even grant you the most impossible of all miracles," he explained.
I snorted a little after hearing that. "Easy for you to say that, you've been giving free wish to prepubescent girls!" I exclaimed.
"And you are?" Mami asked.
I looked at her dead in the eyes. "I'm Haios and I am much more than I look miss..." I told her.
Mami took a sip of her tea calmly before smiling a little. "Then why don't you prove your point? Ask Kyubei your impossible wish, see how impossible it is," she said.
"You hear that Kyubei, I take your offer," I told the cat. "If you can grant just one of my wish, I swear that I will do whatever it is you want," I told him.
"Aren't you going to listen about the consequence and duties of being a magical girl?" Kyubei asked.
I smirked a little. "What's life without a little bit of surprise every now and then eh?" then I looked at Sayaka and Madoka. "By the way Madoka, Sayaka, what I'm doing here is extremely stupid and you should NOT attempt to do this okay? Let my life in the next five weeks be a warning if anything goes to hell okay?"
Sayaka somehow looked incredibly amused and impressed at the same time. "Wow, you're like the people in safety videos that purposely do stupid things so we wouldn't get curious of what happens if we do it..."
I gave Sayaka thumbs up before looking at Madoka. "Well? Madoka? What lesson can you take from this?"
"Think before you act?" Madoka said in slight confusion.
"Exactly! Now for my wish!" I looked at Kyubei and rest my head on to my palm. "I want a fully functional TARDIS," I told him.
The cat looked at me for a moment and I could see that he's currently probing my mind looking for this TARDIS thing. "I'm afraid I cannot grant you that wish..." the cat said and I can see Mami's eyes widening in disbelief.
"What's a Tardis?" Mami asked in genuine curiosity.
"Just an old police box, with the power to cruise through time and space," I told her. "It's also the strongest thing in the world," I added. "It's also powered by a supernova explosion that's frozen in time."
Then I looked back at Kyubei. "Okay, here's an easier one," I told the cat. "I want someone dead, you think you can do that?"
Kyubei tilted his head a little. "I would say yes, but knowing your knowledge and experience, I'd have to make a few exceptions," he told me.
I shrugged a little. "Meh, you probably can't," then I thought about it for a moment and looked at Sayaka and Madoka who's watching me expectantly. "Here's my last wish, I want to give my wish to either Sayaka or Madoka, it's up to them, really."
This time, Kyubei nodded a little. "You want me to grant their wish without turning them into a magical girl?" he asked me.
I nodded with zero hesitation. "Yep! Grant their wish, not now, but later when they figured out what to ask for."
"Wait! Haios san!" Sayaka exclaimed suddenly. "What are you saying? This is your wish!"
"Yep, and it's up to me what to do with it. So I say I'll give it to you," I told her.
"Haios san, are you sure?" Madoka asked. "You could ask for anything,"
I looked at Kyubei for a moment. "I wish to reverse entropy."
"Sayaka san, Madoka san, Haios has already made her choice. She decided to be generous and give her wish to you," Kyubei said, ignoring me completely. "To complete the contract, we're going to need an open space."
Mami stood up from her position. "Now this is an interesting development, are you sure you wish to continue without knowing the responsibilities of being a magical girl?" she asked.
"Yolo!" I exclaimed.
"Yolo?" Mami asked.
"You only live once," I told her. "Also, I'm cursed so that even if I die I will be revived in another world with my memories intact. So I think this is a fair trade."
Mami sighed a little and shook her head. "Even the most selfless wish sometimes has a selfish reason behind them..." she told me. "Are you sure you don't want your wish?"
"Mami, Kyubei can't grant my wish," I told her. "So instead of getting screwed over by a half-assed wish, I rather have someone else deal with it," then I looked at Madoka and Sayaka. "You hear that? That wish is dangerous, make sure you really think of what you really want before making it work."
[LINE BREAK]
I stood on top of a huge apartment. Right in front of me is Kyubei, ready to turn me into a magical girl. Behind him is Mami standing in front of Madoka and Sayaka. "So, will I turn naked during this transformation?"
"No," Kyubei replied. "Don't worry, just relax."
I nodded a little and took a deep breath. "Just wait for me senpai!" I exclaimed towards Mami. "I'll be on your level in no time!"
"Well don't keep me waiting Haios san," Mami said calmly. "And don't end up embarrassing me all right?"
"You got it!" I looked back at Kyubei and nodded. "Anytime you're ready Kyubei!"
White light flooded my vision and I found myself standing in the middle of a white empty space. It's just white as far as eye can see, with solid white floor that's indistinguishable from the white sky.
Suddenly, I saw a silhouette of a certain woman. I folded my arms in front of my chest and sighed a little. "Well hello there creator's pet!" I exclaimed tauntingly. "As you can see I am very, very eager to fuck you up."
The silhouette disappeared only to be replaced by Kyubei. The cat walked towards me and tilted his head. "I've lost contact," the cat spoke. "I'm stranded here."
"What?"
"I'll give you a bonus wish, what would you like?" the cat said.
"Huh? Happy Ending, I guess?" I asked her, unsure of what to say.
"Your wish is granted," Kyubei fades away from existence and I found myself being dragged by an invisible force through the white void. I could see flashes of people, places, items, and many more things I've encountered in my entire journey.
I looked at my body and realized that I'm more and more suited up with every flashback. My trench coat slowly turned more and more refined, a pair of pure white wings appeared on my back, all sorts of weapons ranging from ninja stars and plasma saber flew towards me.
Soon, I can see Mami, Madoka, and Sayaka gazing at me in amazement in the distance and I am back in my body before I knew it.
"Oh wow..." I muttered to myself. "That was uhh... certainly something..." I added.
"Wings huh?" Mami asked and it was then that I noticed that I was flying a few feet up in the sky. "Can't say I don't envy you right now, I always wanted to know how to fly," then she walked closer towards me. "What's your weapon?"
I landed on the roof and grabbed a cylindrical object from my waist. "You might wanna stand back a little..." I told her.
With a very satisfying sizzling sound, a pair of bright yellow translucent blade appears from the device. It formed into a dual light sword that can melt steel and turn anything into ashes. I giggled a little in excitement. Finally! The all mighty Haios is back in business!
"Mami san I feel so powerful! Please tell me I get to fight monsters!" I exclaimed.
Mami chuckled a little. "Don't worry, it's in your job description that you decided to completely disregard," she took out her soul gem and showed it to me. "Go back to normal and show us your gem."
I willed myself to turn back into a regular teenage girl. Though, I still feel like I can take on an army and win. On my hand is a beautiful white gem that seems to be pulsating with warmth. I cupped the soul gem with my hand and suddenly feel like I'm being hugged.
Suspicious...
"Now come on, let's go back to my room. I'll explain everything."