Lin Mu sat alone in the garden, his gaze fixed upon the starry sky. The twinkling lights seemed indifferent to his plight, mirroring the emptiness he felt inside. It was supposed to be a night of celebration, of intimacy and joy. Instead, he found himself marooned in a sea of solitude, shivering in the cold. The chill did nothing to pierce his preoccupation; he was numb to the physical sensations of the world around him. His heart was heavy with the weight of unspoken regrets, his eyes reddened by tears that refused to cease.
"Yan Ge... left me alone on our wedding night!" Lin Mu murmured through a trembling voice. Talking to himself had become a regular solace, a way to bridge the chasm of loneliness that had always been a part of his life. As the only child of a guarded household, his upbringing had been insulated, leaving him to confront the world largely on his own.
"What did you expect from this marriage? A tender kiss, a magical first night?" Lin Mu continued, his tears cascading down his cheeks like silent witnesses to his suffering. His sorrowful reflection only deepened as he considered the gap between his hopes and reality.
"Young Master Lin?" The voice of Mr. Han, the family butler, cut through the night's silence, jolting Lin Mu from his reverie.
"Uncle Han, please, just call me Lin Mu," Lin Mu said, turning to face the butler. The polite request was underscored by a tone of weariness.
"I cannot call you by your name, Young Master," Mr. Han replied with a professional smile. Yet behind that facade, there was a palpable discomfort. He was unable to reconcile Lin Mu as the husband of his master, a reality that filled him with unease.
"Alright then... Why are you here, Uncle Han?" Lin Mu asked, his voice soft, almost resigned. He had requested solitude, and the intrusion was unwelcome.
"Master asked for you," Butler Han replied, a shiver of apprehension in his voice. He recalled the stern look his master had given him for allowing Lin Mu out in the cold. For the first time, Mr. Han had found his master's anger intimidating. It was puzzling to him why someone who seemed so indifferent could show such fierce concern.
"Oh! He finally remembered me," Lin Mu said with a hint of bitterness, his pout visible as he followed the butler back inside.
---Xiao Yan was seated on the leather sofa in his study, surrounded by a sea of emails and reports. The glow of his laptop screen cast a cold light on his handsome face, emphasizing the sharp lines of his jaw and the furrow of his brows. He was dressed in a crisp white shirt, his sleeves rolled up, revealing the strength in his forearms. The epitome of control and discipline, he looked every bit the powerful businessman that he was.
Lin Mu entered the room quietly, his footsteps barely making a sound on the plush carpet. The sight of Xiao Yan, immersed in work and completely ignoring his presence, made Lin Mu's heart ache even more.
"It's late. Why haven't you gone to bed?" Xiao Yan asked, his voice devoid of empathy. His gaze remained fixed on his laptop, refusing to meet Lin Mu's eyes. The unspoken words between them were like daggers to Lin Mu's heart.
"Our wedding night… Aren't you late too?" Lin Mu's voice wavered as he questioned, his eyes brimming with unshed tears. The painful irony of the situation was not lost on him.
Xiao Yan's response was a bitter chuckle. "Wedding night? Shouldn't you call it an unwanted wedding night?" His words were laced with a bitterness that cut deep, making Lin Mu's heart ache. Xiao Yan's detachment and disdain were like a cold slap in the face.
"To me, it could never be unwanted!" Lin Mu sobbed softly, his dream of being cherished by Xiao Yan dissolving into a painful reality. Every moment of his life had been consumed by the hope of earning Xiao Yan's love.
"Of course, it is not unwanted for you! After all, you forced me into this marriage," Xiao Yan said, his voice dripping with sarcasm. Despite his outward bravado, Xiao Yan's heart was not in it. He knew the marriage was not Lin Mu's fault, yet he couldn't bring himself to extend even a shred of kindness.
"Yan Ge, please, can't you like me just a little?" Lin Mu's voice cracked with desperation. The pain in his heart was immense, a raw, exposed wound that seemed incapable of healing.
"Lin Mu, you don't even deserve my hatred, let alone my affection," Xiao Yan said with a look of pure disgust. Seeing Lin Mu in front of him only brought back painful memories of his lost family. The boy, who had been a storm sweeping away everything he held dear, was an unbearable reminder of his grief.
"Ge... Am I truly that unworthy?" Lin Mu asked, his voice choked with tears as he looked into Xiao Yan's eyes, searching for some glimmer of compassion.
"I don't know if you are worthy or not, but to me, you took everything I had, so I can't bring myself to like you," Xiao Yan mumbled, a sad smile flickering on his lips. The pain of his losses was intertwined with his feelings toward Lin Mu, creating a complex web of resentment and sorrow.
" I'm sorry, Ge. I know I was wrong. I know what I did was horrible for you. But all I ever wanted was your attention. All I dream of is your love. Please, Ge, please love me. I'll die without you," Lin Mu cried weakly, collapsing to his knees in a display of utter misery. The depth of his pain was so profound that he felt it might consume him entirely if Xiao Yan's love remained out of reach.
"Your tears won't melt me, just as mine couldn't melt yours years ago. So please, leave me alone and go to sleep. We're going back to my house tomorrow," Xiao Yan said with a cold expression. His irritation with Lin Mu's tears was palpable, yet he felt a suffocating guilt every time he saw them. The boy's persistent sorrow was a painful reminder of the love that had been forced upon him.
Lin Mu silently rose, his legs trembling, and crawled into bed without bothering to remove his shoes or glasses. His heart was heavy, each beat a reminder of the chasm between his desires and reality.
---
Half an hour later, Xiao Yan closed his laptop and made his way to the bathroom. When he returned, he noticed Lin Mu sleeping uncomfortably, his face stained with tears. Despite his own frustration, Xiao Yan felt a pang of guilt seeing the boy so vulnerable. He approached Lin Mu, carefully removing his glasses and shoes. The sight of Lin Mu's tear-streaked face stirred an unexpected empathy in Xiao Yan. His heart ached seeing the child's innocence marred by the pain he had caused.
Returning to his sofa, Xiao Yan lay down, exhausted from the day's forced festivities. As he drifted off, he dreamed of a tender moment, a vision of kissing a beautiful boy after exchanging wedding vows. It was a fleeting image of affection and warmth, starkly contrasting the reality he faced.
---
Morning came, and Xiao Yan awoke to find Lin Mu's eyes fixed intently on him. The sight of those tender, adoring eyes made him uncomfortable. The boy's gaze seemed to strip away his defenses, laying bare the affection Lin Mu felt so deeply.
"Do you have no other purpose in the morning besides making my day worse?" Xiao Yan asked, irritation evident in his tone. He was uncomfortable with the way Lin Mu's presence affected him, as if the boy's closeness was seeping into his own defenses.
"… Sorry, Ge. I just wanted to see you up close," Lin Mu said, blushing deeply. He quickly retreated to his side of the bed, sitting as if waiting for an order. The contrast between his vulnerable demeanor and Xiao Yan's coldness was striking.
"I don't want to argue with you in the morning," Xiao Yan mumbled, walking away to wash up.
"Ge looks so handsome. I want to see him up close!" Lin Mu whispered to himself, his longing evident. He yearned to hold, kiss, and love Xiao Yan, but fear of rejection held him back. With eyes full of longing, he watched Xiao Yan from across the room.
As the bathroom door clicked open, Lin Mu's breath hitched. His face turned red as he caught sight of Xiao Yan emerging, looking undeniably attractive. The sight was overwhelming for Lin Mu, who couldn't suppress his reaction.
Xiao Yan, feeling Lin Mu's intense gaze, glanced up to find Lin Mu staring at him with an open mouth and wide eyes. He couldn't understand why the boy's unabashed admiration irritated and fascinated him simultaneously. The boy's lack of self-restraint was both endearing and infuriating.
"Will you stop staring at me?" Xiao Yan groaned, struggling to restrain himself from pulling at Lin Mu's red ears. The boy's innocent adoration was a source of both irritation and unexpected tenderness.
"I can't. Why are you looking so handsome, Ge? I want to..." Lin Mu's words trailed off as his face turned a deeper shade of red. Mortified by his own confession, he buried his face in the pillow, overcome with embarrassment.
"Ugh," Xiao Yan groaned in disbelief, watching Lin Mu's reaction with a mix of frustration and reluctant amusement. The boy's unfiltered emotions were both a source of irritation and unexpected charm.
"Let's go downstairs!" Xiao Yan said, heading toward the door. Lin Mu scrambled out of bed, trailing after him like an eager puppy.
"Ge, you're walking too fast. Please slow down," Lin Mu pleaded, struggling to keep up with Xiao Yan's brisk pace.
"Then you can run!" Xiao Yan replied with a hint of annoyance. He couldn't decide if Lin Mu's actions were genuine or a calculated display of cuteness
. Lin Mu attempted to follow, but stumbled and nearly fell. Xiao Yan's heart lurched as he quickly grabbed Lin Mu, his grip too tight, leaving a mark on the boy's arm.
"Ugh. So clumsy," Xiao Yan muttered angrily, though he was more shaken by the incident than he let on.
"Sorry, Yan Ge," Lin Mu mumbled, his voice filled with a mix of apology and fear. He winced, aware of the bruise forming on his wrist.
For the rest of the way, Xiao Yan slowed his pace, ensuring Lin Mu didn't fall behind.
---
At the dining table, Lin Mu greeted Xiao An with enthusiasm, his mood brightening as he wrapped her in a warm hug.
"Good morning, Auntie An!" Lin Mu's voice was filled with genuine affection.
"Good morning, baby. Morning, Xiao Yan," Xiao An replied with a smile.
"Morning, Auntie," Xiao Yan responded curtly, taking his seat at the table. His mood remained distant, clearly irritated by the entire situation. The breakfast conversation was tense, marked by Xiao Yan's reluctance to engage.
"When are you returning to your house?" Xiao An inquired.
"After breakfast," Xiao Yan replied flatly, his eyes fixed on his plate. His frustration with Xiao An's insistence on the marriage was evident in his tone.
"Won't you even look at this poor auntie?" Xiao An asked with a hint of dramatic dismay.
"Auntie, you're very wealthy. You can have anyone's attention you want," Xiao Yan replied, continuing to eat without looking up.
"This poor auntie doesn't know whom to ask for attention," Xiao An pouted.
"I need time. I hope you'll stop this act now, Auntie," Xiao Yan said, unmoved by her pleas.
"As you wish, but please take care of my baby Mu. Take him to visit his parents sometimes," Xiao An said, her gaze softening as she looked at Xiao Yan.
"He can go wherever he wants. I don't need to take him. He's not a child. Stop treating him like one," Xiao Yan said, irritation clear in his voice.
"You won't change, will you?" Xiao An asked, her frustration evident as she noticed Lin Mu's tears.
"I'm full," Lin Mu whispered, his voice breaking as he stood up and walked away, his heart feeling like it was shattering. Xiao An followed him, her concern evident.
"Lin Mu, don't cry, dear. You promised to stay calm," Xiao An said gently.
"But Auntie... he doesn't even care!" Lin Mu's voice trembled with sadness, his heartache palpable.
"He does care. He's just not good at showing it. Don't lose hope. Believe in your love," Xiao An urged, holding Lin Mu's delicate hands.
"But it hurts so much," Lin Mu sobbed. The pain of being dismissed by the one he loved was overwhelming.
"You married him knowing you would face challenges. He's showing you his years of pain and sorrow. He's not entirely unlovable," Xiao An said, embracing Lin Mu tightly.
"I know. It just feels like my heart is being torn apart seeing him push me away," Lin Mu said softly, his voice barely above a whisper.
"Stay calm. Show him your love. Let him see how much you care. He only needs someone to love him," Xiao An said with a comforting smile.
"I will," Lin Mu said resolutely, wiping away his tears. He hugged Xiao An and then returned to the hall, where he found Xiao Yan looking frustrated.
"I have a company to manage, Lin Mu. Don't assume everyone can be free of responsibilities like you," Xiao Yan said through gritted teeth. His own confusion about his feelings only added to his irritation.
"Sorry, Yan Ge. I won't intrude again," Lin Mu said weakly, his voice filled with pain. The sting of Xiao Yan's harsh words was a deep wound.
"Follow me," Xiao Yan said, leading the way out of the villa.
"I always follow you with all my heart, mind, and body, Yan Ge," Lin Mu murmured, his voice laced with loneliness.
"If you have something to say, use your voice. I think God gave you that," Xiao Yan said coldly, irritated by Lin Mu's quiet response.
"Nothing," Lin Mu said, blinking away his tears. He had accepted the pain of his marriage, knowing that it came with a price.
A life with you, Xiao Yan Ge, is worth the pain. If you let me stay with you, keep me by your side, because without you, I will perish. Please don't leave me. I don't know how to live without you.
Xiao Yan and Lin Mu entered the limousine, the vehicle marking a transition to Xiao Yan's personal villa. Lin Mu felt a mix of nervousness and happiness. It was the first time Xiao Yan had invited him into his private space. The joy of being included was tempered by the anxiety of facing a new chapter in their life together. Xiao Yan, noticing Lin Mu's red eyes, felt a confusing pang of guilt. He struggled to understand why Lin Mu's tears affected him so deeply, why the boy's presence stirred emotions he was not prepared to confront.