Xiao Yan was spiralling into a panic attack. His body shook uncontrollably, overwhelmed by an intense wave of emotions. It felt as though the room was closing in on him, each breath harder to draw. After what seemed like an eternity, he finally found his friends. The thought of losing them again was unbearable; he couldn't even fathom life without them. They had become his lifeline, his reason to keep going, even if his life felt solitary. It wasn't enough to drive him to end it all, but the thought of being alone again was terrifying. How could Lin Mu cause them harm once more?
Lin Mu looked at Xiao Yan in horror, his heart aching with an unbearable pain. He had never intended to lose control, but witnessing another woman with his Gege had ignited a storm of jealousy and anguish within him. His heart was heavy with guilt, feeling like the root of his husband's suffering. He wanted nothing more than to help Xiao Yan heal, to erase the pain he had caused. Yet, it had been less than three days since their marriage, and he had only deepened the wounds. How would he face him now?
He trembled in fear, his thoughts a chaotic mess.
"Ge... Please... Please... I'm so sorry... I'm sorry... Sorry... Please don't hate me... I was wrong... Sorry... Forgive me this last time... I won't ever hurt you again... Don't hate me... I can't live with your hatred..." Lin Mu thought desperately, his face drenched with tears.
Lin Mu's mind was a tumultuous sea. Each apology felt insufficient, each plea for forgiveness like a mere whisper against a roar of regret. The sight of Xiao Yan's tear-streaked face was a constant torment, a stark reminder of his failings. Lin Mu had always seen himself as a protector, someone who would never inflict pain. Yet here he was, having shattered Xiao Yan's trust and peace. The weight of his actions was crushing, and he felt powerless to undo the hurt. The thought of Xiao Yan's light fading from his eyes was a nightmare he couldn't escape. He was drowning in his own remorse, his guilt a heavy, unyielding burden.
Lu Wei couldn't bear it any longer. It broke her heart to see her best friend in such distress. It had been difficult enough to convince Xiao Yan that they wouldn't abandon him again, but her prank had only made things worse.
"Xiao Yan... Please... Stop crying," Lu Wei said, guiding Xiao Yan to sit on the sofa. He clung to her waist, sobbing desperately, his panic overwhelming him.
Yu Yang gave Lin Mu a disapproving look, a silent reminder that he would never change. The look only deepened Lin Mu's misery, his guilt festering under Yu Yang 's scrutiny.
Yu Yang approached Xiao Yan, gently rubbing his back in an attempt to soothe him.
"Please... I'm sorry," Xiao Yan sobbed, feeling helpless as painful memories replayed in his mind. He recalled how his crush had begged him not to send her away, but he had been powerless to help. It was tormenting him, a cruel reminder of his own helplessness. What could he do when his parents had remained silent, when he was left to face such pain alone?
Lin Mu's guilt was suffocating. Every apology seemed inadequate, every plea for forgiveness felt like a drop in an ocean of his own making. The realization that he had pushed Xiao Yan back into his fears and insecurities was almost too much to bear. He felt as though he was failing Xiao Yan in the most fundamental way. The thought of Xiao Yan slipping away from him emotionally was a nightmare he couldn't face. Lin Mu was consumed by the fear that he had irrevocably damaged their relationship, that his actions had created a rift that might never heal.
"Xiao Yan... Stop crying," Lu Wei pleaded, tears streaming down her face as she saw the old Xiao Yan return to his fears.
"Don't leave me... I'm sorry," Xiao Yan cried uncontrollably.
"We won't leave you, Xiao Yan... We won't. So please, calm down, baby brother," Lu Wei assured him, tears in her eyes.
"Lu Wei... Don't hate me, please," Xiao Yan cried, unable to prevent Lin Mu from slapping his best friend.
"Silly you, why would I hate you? You are my best friend," Lu Wei said through her tears.
"You won't leave me, right?" Xiao Yan asked, looking up at her.
"You can't get rid of me, Xiao Yan," Lu Wei said with a reassuring smile.
"Thank you," Xiao Yan said, still crying but beginning to calm down a bit.
"Xiao Yan, stop being so insecure. We are never going to leave you," Yu Yang said, ruffling Xiao Yan's hair affectionately.
"Umm..." Xiao Yan nodded, his demeanour softening.
"Yahh, I can't leave you. Who else will handle my rumours if not you?" Lu Wei said with a wink, managing to bring a genuine smile to Xiao Yan's face.
"Yahh, Yahh, only Xiao Yan can manage your silly rumours, you silly woman," Yu Yang said with a laugh.
Lin Mu finally felt a sense of relief as he saw Xiao Yan calming down. Yet, his insides were still aching with pain and guilt—pain because he wasn't the one who had soothed Xiao Yan, and guilt because he was the one who had caused Xiao Yan this distress.
Lin Mu's emotions were a chaotic whirlwind. He felt as though he was sinking deeper into a chasm of remorse, each moment of regret weighing him down further. The pain he had inflicted was contrary to his intentions, and he felt powerless to reverse the damage. The thought of Xiao Yan's trust eroding was a crushing blow, and the fear of losing him was almost paralyzing. Lin Mu wanted to make amends, but he was unsure how to begin. The path to redemption seemed daunting, and he was consumed by the overwhelming fear that he might never be able to repair the damage he had done.
"I'm so sorry," Lin Mu said, bowing deeply before running to his room, his footsteps echoing his internal turmoil.
Xiao Yan sighed, feeling a deep sense of exhaustion. He was in no state to pursue Lin Mu. After everything that had happened, he needed time to process and recover from the emotional upheaval. The weight of the situation was heavy, and he needed space to sort through his own feelings.
Lu Wei shot Yu Yang a glance, a silent plea for him to handle the situation. She knew they needed to clear up the misunderstanding but hoped to avoid further conflict.
Yu Yang sighed, frustration evident on his face, and went after Lin Mu.
…
…
"Why are you crying?" Yu Yang asked, sitting next to the distraught Lin Mu.
"I... I hurt him again," Lin Mu said, his voice trembling. The tears flowed freely, his sobs coming in ragged bursts. Each cry was a manifestation of his deep-seated regret, his pain nearly unbearable.
"It's nothing new for you," Yu Yang replied gently, his tone laced with understanding.
"I'm sorry. I was just hurt seeing him kissed by someone else..." Lin Mu sobbed, his chest heaving with the weight of his emotions. The sight of Xiao Yan with another person had ignited a blaze of jealousy, which had quickly turned into a searing inferno of guilt.
"Sometimes our eyes deceive us," Yu Yang said, trying to offer some comfort.
"But... She kissed him. He didn't even push her away. But he pushed me away," Lin Mu cried, his voice tinged with frustration. The contrast between Xiao Yan's passive reaction and his own rejection was a source of deep pain.
"Why didn't you ask him why he didn't push her away? Why did he let her kiss him?" Yu Yang asked, encouraging Lin Mu to confront the root of his insecurity.
"I... I..." Lin Mu struggled to find words, his mind racing through a whirlwind of confusion and regret. His actions had been impulsive, driven by raw emotion rather than reason.
"Lin Mu, your insecurity could destroy your relationship one day," Yu Yang said with sadness. His words were a stern reminder of the consequences of unchecked jealousy and doubt.
"Why didn't you seek an explanation? You should have trusted Xiao Yan more if you love him that much," Yu Yang added, his voice filled with concern.
Lin Mu felt a sharp pang in his heart at Yu Yang 's words. "Why didn't I ask him? Did I mistrust him?"
"She is Lu Wei, Xiao Yan's best friend. They studied together in Australia. She knows Xiao Yan better than anyone else, even more than me. I sometimes feel envious—first, because Xiao Yan is closer to her than to me, and second, because she is my crush," Yu Yang said with a chuckle, trying to lighten the mood.
"But does she like Ge...?" Lin Mu asked, confusion evident in his voice.
"Ayah, you still don't get it. She is an actress. Don't you recognize her face? She didn't kiss Xiao Yan. She merely got close to his face and winked at him. She was probably testing your reaction—whether you trust Xiao Yan or not. But she was right. You don't trust Xiao Yan, let alone your love," Yu Yang said with a sigh. He had admired Lin Mu's apparent affection for Xiao Yan but was now uncertain if it was genuine. Trust was a cornerstone of any relationship, and Yu Yang was worried that Lin Mu's lack of trust could unravel everything.
"I... I'm sorry. I'm truly sorry," Lin Mu cried, his voice filled with genuine remorse.
"You should be sorry for Xiao Yan, Lin Mu. You need to show him how sorry you are through your actions," Yu Yang said. He knew Lin Mu regretted his actions, but true forgiveness required more than words—it demanded tangible change.
Yu Yang left Lin Mu in his room, enveloped in regret and sadness. He hoped that Lin Mu would understand the gravity of his actions and the need to rebuild trust. Xiao Yan, he knew, would remain silent, possibly unwilling to confront Lin Mu again after this incident.
…
…
"It's late," Yu Yang said, packing his things.
"Humm," Xiao Yan hummed in response, his voice tinged with exhaustion.
"Will you be okay by yourself?" Lu Wei asked with concern.
"Yahh," Xiao Yan said with a sigh, his tone indicating both resignation and relief.
"Remember to cook something. Don't go to bed on an empty stomach, and make sure Lin Mu eats too," Yu Yang reminded Xiao Yan, emphasizing the importance of looking after both himself and Lin Mu, even amidst the chaos.
"I will," Xiao Yan said, pulling his friends into a warm hug.
"Good night," Yu Yang and Lu Wei said in unison.
"See you tomorrow, guys," Xiao Yan said with a smile, bidding them goodbye.