Javi
"Mr. Javi…Mr. Javi "
I heard a voice as I turned back into reality. I sucked a breath to not cry. The images of her being in so much love just crumpled my inside a little. It is the next morning. I am in between an interview. I never blanked out in between an interview. This is so unprofessional of me. I was rock solid for 3 years straight. Why am I shattering now? After just seeing a glimpse of her, it was automatically crumbling my inner strength.
She was flushed, flustered, and crazily in love, her belly was swollen, and her face was glittering with sun rays ignited by her love. She was happy, she was anticipated. I was nowhere near her thoughts. Then why was she in my thoughts, unplugged, unhinged, and unattended?
"Uhm Yeah Mr. Kwang, so where were we?"
I continued with my professional tone as the recorder was turned on again to record his voice. I was inside my presidential suite, with me, my two guards and my manager aas present here. Lucy didn't attend because she had work in Milan.
I heard my ringtone. I glared at my manager who looked terrified for his life, who was rethinking his life decisions just by seeing my glare. I hate disturbance.
Something in me told me to grip it, my heart clenched as I took the phone from his hands, almost snatching it from his flinching self. It was an unknown number
I thought for a while, I get a lot of calls a day, as I don't answer 90 percent of these scam calls. I hate when strangers call. But I received it. Ready to rebuke whoever it is
"Hel…hello…hello…is it Javi…Hel…lo"
My heart sank as my breath got stuck in my throat. It was Hiraeth…oh my God.it is Hiraeth. Her voice was breaking. What happened
"Hello, Hiraeth...yes this is Javi. Can you hear me?"
I asked desperately, blood was roaring inside my lungs. Filling my veins pretty fast. I grabbed the phone tight. I heard her ragged breaths, I recognized it, she is crying. her breaths are getting shorter, oh my god, she is about to have a panic attack, her voice is crackling, even her sobs.
"What happened, Hiraeth? What happened, love? Tell me. Do you need me there"
Please need me, please need me Hiraeth. I will come if you say…I will leave everything just if you ask me to come to you
"..Javi…it is painful..my STOMACH..id..don't know..know how…are you in Seoul? I have no one here…"
My blood boiled hearing her pleadings, her wailing. Everything started getting conscious hearing her beginnings
"I am in Seoul love…do you want me to come there…just say it"
She sucked a breath as if it was getting difficult. I already got it. Gesturing to the guards to get the car
I looked at Mr. Kwang who was looking at me shockingly
"I am sorry Mr. Kwang. Something more important came up. Let me call you later."
I took my car keys from the side table of the bed as I ran. My heartbeat accelerated.
It was getting wild. I need to protect her. The urge was so much, I might have fainted. My entire body was aching under the weight when I realized how much fucking I am in love with this girl. I will do anything even if it hurts me. I will be there whenever she needs me to.
"Please come to me, Javi. I live in…"
"I know where you live, just keep breathing…shhh…don't cut the damn call. Listen to me now yeah"
I sucked a breath holding my tears after hearing her wailing. She needs me. I need to be strong. My manager ran behind me with an expression unexplainable. It was irritating.
I got inside my car and started driving, speeding the car as time went on. I need to get there faster
"Listen to me, can you do this for me…say yes"
I said as softly as I could. I will kill whoever the reason was for her tears. the agitation was loud and clear on my chest.
"Yes"
She whispered as if her body was drenched in tiredness.
"Keep breathing, take deep breaths. Inhale"
I heard her inhale in my ear, I connected the Bluetooth earpiece as I drove with both hands. My heart was frightened. What happened to her? What am I going to see? In what position? In what vulnerability? Am I ready? No. But I need to go, she asked me to. I will do anything for her
"Exhale now love. Easy, easy. I am here. I am here…almost there love. Just keep holding. You know panic attacks aren't good for the baby. Try to calm your nerves for me. You can do it"
She tried, I could feel it. She tried to calm down, her sobs calmed down. It was just little sniffles
"Tell me something nice," she asked
I nodded thinking of something and also focusing on the highway. I need to get faster.
"The morning glory flower means love, life, and death, or even love in vain. Its ability to rise each morning and sleep each evening, resemblinh human life. It may seem like a depressing thought; the morning glory blooms each morning only to die each evening. It is my birth flower. Do you remember my birthday?"
I could feel her breaths getting normal as she was focusing on my words. I sighed in relief. I will always be there for her.
"1st September"
"Correct. I am so proud of you love, you are holding it good"
I whispered as if I was talking to an infant, a newborn baby. Delicately.
"Javi, I am scared, come fast…I can't.."
"You can, I am almost there, you can feel me. I am always there with you. You are really strong, love. Just a little bit. I am there"
I reached as I parked the car at the entrance and told the guards of the building to not move it. I might need it. God knows how Hiraeth is doing. I might need to go to the hospital with her.
I showed my ID to the security guard as I ran to the elevator. I didn't know which floor she lives
"Which floor love?"
She sucked a breath. Oh god, her pain was increasing.
"23rd," she said with great difficulty.
" Okay I am here… count with me 30, 29"
"28, 27, 26…."
"That's it, that's good, keep counting."
My entire self was trembling as if ran a mile but couldn't reach the destination. I feel breathless already.
"3, 2, 1"
"Open the door"
She opened as I looked at her…her body was crumbling. I ran to hold her weak body, she was holding her belly so tight. I held her shoulders with hesitancy… she looked at me with so much pain in her physical body, so why was I shown these eyes which were darker than I had seen? Why is there so much pain that a person can die with a single glance?
I cupped her cheeks and nodding
"Nothing, nothing will happen… let's go to the doctor"
"..Javi, I was alone. Suddenly my stomach felt this pain. I don't know"
I cupped her cheeks tighter, pulling her to earth, to me
"Nothing will happen, you are with me. See. look at me just keep looking at me. Nothing happened. You are fine. We will go to the doctor. Everything will be fine."
Thick tears fell as her messy hair fell in loose strands. How beautiful this woman can be huh? I felt my heart racing, calmly as ever. The nostalgic feeling returned and I felt I was swooshed into warmth. Tge familiarity felt like a slap to my demeanor. Her body was oddly cold. I carried her as she rested her head on my chest. She wasn't heavy, my muscles were for her to be carried by. I want to kiss her forehead. But I controlled myself. She isn't mine. I went to the elevator as I felt her slowly going into a sleeping slumber. I felt so scared at this moment as if I would lose consciousness. It physically aches to love her. But I do. Right at this moment, with her in my arms. I realize, maybe this feeling won't go away. It has increased. I reached my car laid her in the back seat and drove to the hospital. What would have happened if I didn't answer the call? She would be in pain. I would have to regret my whole life. My heart never responded this way, my eyes never responded this way after her. I realized there was no one after her, there was no one, besides her, before too. She is the only girl. She was wearing maternity clothes. White embroidered and expensive. But she was looking so simple yet beautiful. God, I hate the fact that I still love her madly.
After a few hours
I was sitting outside the doctor's chamber, she was in. She was getting checked
I felt my body shaking with fear, anything and everything could have happened. I don't know if I am late or not. I never knew pregnancy had these painful experiences. I am scared for her. How can she handle it?
The doctor came outside
"Uhm and you are?"
"I am Javi, Hiraeth's friend"
The woman nodded acknowledging. She was middle-aged but seemed experienced. Her hair was gray and her face was wrinkled.
"Mrs. Kim is not my patient. But I have checked her thoroughly. She is fine. It's just panic attacks because of extreme stress. This level of stress isn't good for the baby. Currently, the baby and the mother are fine. But be careful, these months are delicate. You cannot hurt her physically or mentally. Every change will affect the baby and the mother. I am thinking, Javi right?"
I nodded as she continued
"Call her husband, she must be missing him. Maybe she will be better off meeting her husband"
I nodded as I felt someone gripped my heart and wide opened the chest and got it out. She was Mrs. Kim and I just realized I was calling her love the whole time. Tch. made a fool of myself again right? She doesn't need you, Javi. She needs her husband. Mr. Kim. Suddenly the phase went away and I realized how much I was hurting from inside. I nodded to the doctor again as she said I can take her back home.
I asked if I could go inside
"Oh no dear, I have given her some calming medicines, she will be awake in a few hours, let her rest, it seems like she exhausted her body way too much. She shouldn't. Her feet were swollen early. This is not a good sign, her weight is so low, that she needs to eat more. The baby won't be healthy then"
I nodded, getting worried so much that my eyes blacked out for a minute.
After a few hours, it was almost 10 pm. At night
I went inside and saw her looking at the ceiling, she heard the door closing as her body jerked towards me. Her eyes widened for god knows why. She looked at me with utterly no emotion, no fondness even. My heart clenched.
She tried to sit properly as I helped her and she sat looking at me
"Sorry Javi, you were working, and I. I just asked you to come to me. It's been a whole day, I am sorry for disturbing you like this"
"Okay now shush..you don't say all these to your friends, right? You needed me and I came. Come on now tell me how are you feeling?"
She smiled gently. It was fake. I can recognize it.
"I am fine now. Thank you so much, Javi"
It's just the way she says my name, it takes my breath away.
I nodded gazing somewhere else, I couldn't look at those deep eyes, her eyes didn't smile now. What happened, it is not my place to ask. I will take her home and leave.
I forwarded my hands as she took it, how does she believe me so much?
She held my shoulder as I felt so much pleasure. She makes me breathe a little more every time. Otherwise my body remains taut around the shoulder blades all the time. She wrapped her arms eventually around my arm as we walked. I locked a strand of hair behind her ear as she kept looking outside. As if she wasn't in this world. She was in her world.
"Tell me something good"
She said as I smiled, I walked slower, matching her pace. The corridors of the hospital were almost silent. Her voice echoed.
"Cowrie shells are some of the most beautiful and unique seashells on the planet. They come in around 200 different varieties, with each one boasting unique colors, patterns. These shells are native to warm coastal waters, where they can be found glimmering in sand beds or among coral reefs.
She laughed as the sounds were so distant as if she didn't know how to smile anymore. What happened?
"How do you know all these?"
She asked with her round big eyes looking at me. I could drown.
"Just thought you would ask me and I need to answer you"
She giggled but the light didn't reach those brown eyes. Such beautiful eyes. I can die in peace now. I want to kiss her. It sounds absurd but I do. I want to.
She smiled and looked ahead.
"Your answers always make me feel good Javi"
My heart swelled. I didn't ask about Tristan. Why? Because I think I am not in that place where I can hear about him from her mouth. I have always heard it. Right now I don't. I just want to see her and hear her. Nothing else.