Chereads / Some Weird Sitcom / Chapter 18 - Remember That Time We Started An Illegal Wrestling Federation

Chapter 18 - Remember That Time We Started An Illegal Wrestling Federation

-"GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD MOOOOOOOOORNING!" Riox greeted the boys.

-"Okay, what the fuck do you want?" The irritated Leo asked of Riox.

-"Oh come on, people aren't only friendly to each other when they want a favor!" Riox said.

-"Yeah, but you are. This might be the nicest greeting you've done since I met you. Just tell us what you want and get it over with." Tempest elaborated.

-"Fine… I'm gonna start an illegal fighting ring where I pair the elderly against one another." Riox said so quickly that nobody could've possibly understood him.

-"What the hell did you just say?!" Leo and Tempest asked at the same time, confused as ever.

-"Alright then, I'm glad you agreed to the idea! Now let's get on with executing it." The jolly Riox didn't bother to answer their question.

-"Hey, hey, wait a minute, you can't be expecting us to follow through with an idea we couldn't even hear. Say what it is you want to do and we might help you out."

-"Alright then."

Riox proceeded to say his plan one more time with an extremely wide smile.

Tempest and Leo just stared at him for a moment, before they both yelled out

-"FUCK NO!"

-"HEY, YOU SAID YOU'LL HELP ME IF I TOLD YOU MY IDEA!"

-"I SAID WE MIGHT HELP YOU! THIS IS THE MOST ILLEGAL THING WE'VE DONE YET! THERE'S NO WAY WE'RE HELPING YOU-"

-"THIS IS THE GREATEST IDEA YOU'VE HAD SO FAR! I'M IN!" Kewmed and Roufail (who were overhearing the conversation) yelled out at the same time.

-"Oh God damn it." Leo sighed.

Later that same day

Riox, Roufail and Kewmed had traveled to the World Trade Center and were discussing how they would pull off their plan.

-"Man… This sure gives me memories." Riox reminisced.

-"What?" Roufail asked Riox to elaborate.

-"Nothing. Anyways, I assume you guys know why we're here, this is the perfect place to start our fighting federation." Riox said.

-"Yeah, just leave it to me." Roufail told the two of them as he turned their backs on them, entered one of the skyscrapers, approached a stock market trader and a weird tune started playing out of nowhere.

-"Hello, my dear investor. I'm sure you're wondering what my new ground breaking idea is. Well, me and my business partners are thinking of starting a totally legal wrestling federation similar to the WWE. Stocks will rise, millions will be made, investments will happen, the market will crash. You in?" Roufail (poorly) pitched his idea.

-"I'm sorry young man, I'm awfully deaf and couldn't quite hear you. What is it you told me again?" The "investor" replied.

Riox and Kewmed then pulled out a body bag, lightly touched the stock trader (which was enough to knock him out) and put him in the body bag.

-"Great idea Roufail. If you keep distracting them like this, kidnapping them will be a piece of cake!" Kewmed applauded Roufail.

-"What?! No, that was not my plan, I thought we were here to get investors to support our idea!"

-"Pfft, as if those old farts could ever comprehend our vision. The reason we're in the World Trade Center is because everyone here is old as shit, a perfect opportunity for us to get our fighters!" Riox explained.

-"But that's kidnapping!" Roufail exclaimed.

-"Yeah… we know." Kewmed and Riox were physically unable to comprehend Roufail's concerns, although it's not like they really cared in the first place, so they just went on kidnapping more old people.

EPIC TRANSITION TO LEO AND TEMPEST

-"Okay, we have to find a way to make them stop." Tempest told Leo.

-"Yeah but it's not like it will work. They'll probably give up on the idea in a few hours."

-"You don't get it. I have no idea how, but every illegal thing Riox wants to do, he will somehow find a way to pull it off. That's how he's managed to commit so many crimes and not get caught. His determination to be a delinquent is stronger than the power of the law itself." Tempest explained.

-"Then what's the point in trying to stop if he'll succeed anyways?"

-"Well, frankly, I've never tried to stop him personally so maybe it'll be different this time. And to keep it completely honest… Today is kinda boring now that it's only the two of us, so this should be somewhat entertaining at the very least." Tempest answered.

-"Fine." Leo reluctantly agreed "So what will be our first course of action?" he asked Tempest.

-"Well, we should first tell the police, maybe they'll quarantine all old people until he stops or something."

-"I have a better plan, what if we make a social media post warning old people to hide from Riox today." Leo suggested.

-"That's a great idea. But what social media platform do old people use…."

Leo and Tempest then made their post on Facebook.com.

-"Why do you have a Facebook account again?" Tempest asked Leo.

-"I dunno. Anyways, I've finished typing the message out, now it's time to make the post!" Leo said as he pressed enter.

However, the two boys would be surprised by the replies underneath the post

"Power to God 🥰🙏."

"Amen❤️🙏"

"Kendrick Lamar beats Mexican fruit vendors ‼️"

Were just some of the absolutely ridiculous replies.

-"Ah shit I forgot. The Facebook meta has changed again. Instead of old people, only broken bots use it now!" Leo realized.

-"How the hell did it come to this?!" Tempest asked.

-"I dunno, maybe the previous user base died of old age… Or maybe-"

-"Riox has already abducted every old person he needed to, leading to Facebook being completely abandoned!" Tempest cut off Leo to announce his conclusion, which happened to be the same one Leo had reached to.

-"Well, I suppose we should announce it on some more social media platforms to raise awareness and save whoever can be saved." Leo said before proceeding to upload the same thing on Twitter.com, only to be met by some weird replies there too.

"YOOO that's sick!"

"Ratio +YB better."

"Check my bio for pussy"

Were just some of the cancerous replies.

-"Okay this may have actually been even worse than Facebook. Not only are there just as many bots, it seems that the few real people that read this are on board with it!" Tempest exclaimed.

And then… someone knocked at their door.

EPIC TRANSITION TO RIOX'S GROUP

The three of them had successfully abducted almost the entire elderly population of New York and while Kewmed was using his connections with other people to set up the whole federation, Roufail was conversing with Riox.

-"I'm out, dude!" Roufail yelled out.

-"Hey come on, just think of how entertaining these fights will be!" Riox told him.

-"Yeah right, I agree, but this is too far. I thought we were gonna have perfectly illegal fights between consenting old people take place for our entertainment, but kidnapping them is too far!"

-"Well… Kidnapping them is what makes this illegal… Look, I can also just blackmail them or their families if we want, but I already committed that crime to most politicians in the world, and trust me, rich old people's secrets are not something you want to know about."

-"That… Is concerning… But also my problem is that these fights are not something the old people want to partake in. Consent is crucial in a good professional fight. If there is none of that here, then I'm out." Roufail told Riox.

-"Fine… I'll go talk to them and try to convince them to do it willingly, if they say no still, I'll let them all go." Riox said.

-"Really?"

-"Yes." Little did Roufail know, Riox had now added "fraud" in his long list of crimes.

EPIC TRANSITION TO LEO'S GROUP

Leo and Tempest awkwardly stared at each other, then back at the door, and went to open it.

Their surprise was indescribable when they saw none other than the Marmeladides Brothers standing in front of them.

-"Hi, so-" the brothers tried to talk to them, only for Leo to immediately shut the door.

The brothers kept bothering them, until Leo and Tempest had no option other than to hear them out.

-"What do you want? We don't have the time for a conflict with the jock mafia now." Leo told them.

-"Yeah we don't want to be bothered by you twerps either, which is why we're here." The brothers said as they showed them the trending tab on Twitter.com

"#SOMEWEIRDFIGHTINGFEDERATION" was the biggest thing on the trending tab, right under Dream's toe reveal.

-"Oh shit."

-"Yeah, so you see the problem right?"

-"Yeah, they done hit the Pentagon again!" Leo exclaimed, referring to the third most trending thing, a repeat of the 9/11 attacks that happened that same day and Riox may or may not have been involved in.

-"What?! No that's not what… I mean, it is a tragedy, but that's not why we're here! You twerps are running an illegal fighting ring where you force old people to brutally beat each other up!" The Marmeladides Brothers elaborated.

-"Yeah first of all we have no involvement in that, and second of all, why does it concern you? It's not like the jock mafia is known for its morality!" Tempest said.

-"Yeah that's the thing. We are running OUR OWN illegal fighting federation with old people we've kidnapped, you guys are ruining our business!"

Tempest had an idea upon hearing that.

-"So… you guys want to put an end to their plan as soon as possible right?" he asked the brothers.

-"Yeah. The first fight is happening in a few hours, we need them to stop before that or else they'll surpass us!"

-"Alright then, we want to do the same thing… So how about we form a temporary truce and work together to stop them?!" Tempest suggested.

Leo and the brothers were reluctant, but they didn't really have a better plan, so they begrudgingly agreed to the truce.

A FEW HOURS LATER

The first match of the night was about to start. Ol D. Mane and Eld Er Lie were gonna be fighting to the death. The stadium was packed and everyone in the audience was ready to see two old people beat the shit out of each other for their entertainment… This is a good time to disclose that we do not approve of the actions anyone does in this sitcom.

Meanwhile, Roufail, Riox and Kewmed were talking to each other before the match would start.

-"Well, I'm glad you got the old men to consent to the fight. This ought to be a truly moral form of entertainment!" Roufail applauded Riox.

-"Nah, I didn't get them to agree to shit, lmfao." Riox said.

-"What? Then what did you do to them while you were with them?"

Meanwhile meanwhile

-"WHAT DO YOU MEAN THEY HAVE DRUGGED THE OLD PEOPLE?!" Leo yelled out upon hearing a certain revelation of the Marmeladides Brothers.

-"Yeah, we sent a jock mafia goon to spy on them. This Riox dude gave them some absolutely spiked drinks, not even we know how many drugs they unknowingly consumed." The brothers explained.

-"Well that is certainly one way to get them to fight." Tempest pointed out.

-"Man… You should've told us earlier. Now we no longer have to do anything." Leo said as he sat down and relaxed.

-"What?! What do you mean?! Who the hell is gonna stop them if we keep sitting around?! Come on, let's go!" The confused brothers told Leo.

-"Nah, Leo is right, this business was done the moment Riox made that decision. They will be stopped." Tempest said as he too sat down.

-"By whom?" The brothers asked.

-"By him." Tempest and Leo exclaimed at the same time.

BACK TO THE MAIN EVENT

Upon hearing Riox's reveal, he too realized that the match would be over sooner than everyone expected, so he sat down to watch the events unfold.

-"Wait, how are you on board with this?" Kewmed asked Roufail.

-"I'm not, but it doesn't matter… Riox has ensured this match will be over the moment it begins… Or soon enough anyways."

Riox and Kewmed had no time to waste as the fight was about to begin and they wanted to see shit go down.

The ring lit up and the crowd cheered as the absolutely stoaked Ol D. Mane and Eld Er Lie made their entrances and started running towards each other…. And then…. He appeared

Breaking through the ceiling, landing epically and assuming an awesome stance, Meth Man made his entrance.

Roufail, Leo and Tempest expected him to destroy the entire arena like he'd usually do… But instead he just stood there.

-"Who the hell is this guy and what is he doing here?!" Riox asked.

-"It's Meth Man. He felt the strong drug presence and came here to partake in his heroic actions… although I myself am not sure why he's just standing there." Roufail answered.

Unbeknownst to everyone there… At that moment, Meth Man was evolving.

"So much… This is…" Meth Man's Meth Senses were overstimulated due to the sheer amount of meth in the atmosphere, even the audience members were high on it… At that moment, he had an epiphany.

-"I am… Restricting myself… 'Meth Man' was nothing but the beginning, but I treated it as the finale… Right now… I have realized something." Meth Man whispered to himself, as he started floating and glowing, obscuring the vision of the cameras and everyone around him for a few minutes, until he got back down and revealed his new form…

Peeking through the smoke and rubble he created… Man was created

-"Do not fear me, do not dred me. I am Man, and I have evolved beyond the need for a title, for I have assumed a new purpose in life… Or rather, I have had my eyes opened to my true purpose. I shall not restrain myself to dealing with meth, instead, I shall fight for my true purpose, for I am no longer a 'Man'... I am the Man." Man declared, before he flew away from the previous hole in the roof he had created, never bothering to explain what his "true purpose" was.

In the meantime, every single old man Riox and Kewmed abducted had died from overdosing on drugs.

-"God damn that Man! Did he really have to yap for so long?! Now all our fighters have died! Who could've seen this coming!? I was always under the impression that abusing addictive substances was never gonna lead to anything bad!" Kewmed declared before promptly getting over it and leaving.

-"Well, I'll leave you to deal with our angry audience. I'm quitting this, by the way." Roufail told Riox in a cocky manner.

-"Angry! ? Look at our audience, they are ecstatic! We should use this Meth Man or Man or whatever he's called more often!" Riox then pointed at the audience, who were pumped up like crazy, probably because they too were on drugs.

Nobody understood what Man had become, but either way, Riox could no longer force old people to fight each other to the death as they were already dead, satisfying Leo and Tempest, leaving Roufail with a grudge due to lying to him, and allowing the Jock Mafia to continue their business.