A groan escapes my lips as a continuous pulse pricks the inside of my head. Why the hell does it feel like a grenade was pushed down my ear and later exploded inside my head? Or more like an infinite number of Seong Jins were magically teleported inside my head and are now wreaking havoc there?
Slowly, I pry my heavy eyes open and when the piercing light stabs my eyes, I instantly shut them tightly, but doing that just causes my headache to increase so a hiss of pain leaves my lips.
"Fuck," I curse under my breath.
Pulling the blanket over my head, I immediately envelop myself in the darkness that my covers provide. After a while, I realise that it still hurts, but it is way better than being out there.
I would kill for an Advil or a Paracetamol right now. Maybe May has some in the medicine cabinet. Dammit, that means I will have to get out of bed and walk all the way downstairs. That is just way too much work. Even thinking about it is making me grimace deeply. Except that too hurts so from here on out, I think I will just refrain from any more facial expressions.
What the hell was I thinking when I drank from that bottle of wine? Alcohol is for the weak, is what I have always told myself and the taste of the liquid is very much revolting. I just don't understand how one could like drinking. I don't understand how I could have even remotely drunk almost the entire bottle and enjoyed it even. I guess for once, it felt good being able to not keep everything bottled in like I normally do.
For once in my life, I liked being able to show it when I was feeling annoyed at Seong Jin, liked showing it when I was feeling immature around Seong Jin and liked showing it when I was feeling happy with Seong Jin.
The sound of my bedroom door opening brings me out of my train of thought and instantly makes irritation protuberant in my head. Telepathically, I tell the person not to disturb me, because I need to nurse my head back to health. I'll probably need the entire day to recuperate.
"Dominic?" I instantly recognise my aunt's genteel and refined voice and I'm grateful that it's not Zachary. He can be very loud, just like his father. The bed shifts as she settles on it and she gingerly lifts the covers off of me. "Are you going to come down for breakfast?"
"No," I answer monotonously, reaching for the blanket so I can escape from the light hurting my eyes. "Blanket please?"
Her eyes widen. "Please?"
"Yes, please, Aunt May."
More bewilderment makes itself on her expression. "Aunt?"
I roll my eyes which only makes me regret it as my head hurts more. "Don't make this such a big deal. I need to sleep."
"You do realise that it's passed seven? You have never woken up later than that," she points out, which is very true. I've set a routine for myself which I follow every single day and it happens to work perfectly. Changing that is just going to complicate my life. Today though, I can't find myself caring.
"Yes, I know. I-I just need more hours of sleep. I have a headache and… the light is hurting my eyes. Can I have the blanket back?"
"Have you been drinking, Nicky?" she asks, looking down at me with a reprimanding gaze. When she does this, she reminds me a lot of my mother.
They both look alike in so many ways that it's impossible for outsiders not to see that they are obviously sisters. They both have dirty blonde hair which my mother normally dyes into a bleached blonde. May also prefers to keep her hair shortened to her shoulders. Their eyes are a shining light blue which replicates the ocean quite a lot. But even with such similarities, there are differences. Like their noses. My mother's nose is a round bud while May's is sharper, and her lips are thinner than my mother's ones.
"Yes," I reply tersely, not even trying to lie to her. I know that she's going to report me to my parents, and they will scold my ear off, but I cannot find it in me to care right now. I'll face that later on. "Yes, I have been drinking. Can I have the blanket now?"
"You will get the blanket," she starts with that patronising tone I hate, and I can't control the groan which leaves my mouth when I know where she's going with this. "First, we need to discuss the issue at hand. It's good that you have admitted the problem to yourself and now, we'll have to discuss why you did it?"
"God, please, no," I beg desperately. "Don't use the whole therapeutic thing on me, May."
"Well, I am. Deal with it," she sasses me, causing me to roll my eyes again and regret it again. "Now, tell me why you thought you could drink?"
I sigh and realise that she's not going to let this go until I answer her. "I was thirsty."
"And you couldn't drink water?"
"I would if the water in the restroom was not somehow connected to the restroom, but people have not gotten that advanced so," I let my statement linger in the air as I shrug a shoulder up. Steadily, I push myself up and rest my head on the headboard, preparing myself for a long conversation.
Her face scrunches up in confusion. "I'm sorry, you lost me at the water in the restroom. What are you talking about?"
"Yesterday, I had a… a date with a girl and her parents, but then I got stuck in the restroom during the dinner. I got thirsty and drank the wine I was going to offer to them."
"Wait," she exclaims, causing me to flinch from her loudness and glower at her, "you went on a date? Why didn't you tell me? Is she pretty? Why haven't I met her? Dominic, you have to invite her over. Oh, I have to tell your mother about this."
"And you wonder why I didn't tell you," I mutter, giving her a pointed look. "Besides, I don't think she'll even want to see me again after I stood her up."
"Stood her up? You didn't control getting stuck in the restroom. Just tell her that you were stuck in there and you couldn't make it. I'm sure she'll forgive you," she says and I flick my brows up just so she can see that I agree with her logic, "and if she doesn't trust you then she's not meant for you."
I nod.
"So, the drinking is not going to become a frequent thing, is it?"
I shake my head, no.
"Good. Then maybe your parents won't have to know about this." She winks and a tiny, invisible grin of amusement paints my lips. "Oh, and your mother says that she needs to talk to you since you weren't answering your phone last night. Call her now."
"May I please get some Advil for my headache?"
"Of course," she whispers with a smile and she pats my hand comfortingly while she stands up. "Happy birthday and call her." She leaves the room.
Releasing a tired sigh, I grab my phone from the sideboard. Going through my contacts, I scowl at the fact that it's just Dinah James, my dad, Jodie, Landon, May, my mother, Seong Jin and Thomas, my aunt's husband. The first thing I see is a million missed calls from Jodie and I mentally cringe from the explaining I have to do. I'll just leave Seong Jin out of the equation because that will only arouse unnecessary suspicion.
At the thought of Seong Jin, I scowl and can't help but feel like I need to recall what happened in the restroom while I was drunk. Maybe he will tell me if I did anything too drastic. Pressing on my mother, I let it dial and put the phone on speaker. I do not want to place it against my ear and have my mother yelling down my ear and worsening my headache. She does not answer the phone the first time, but when I dial her again for the third time, that's when she does.
"Domi?" she muses when she answers her phone and my jaw clenches when I remember that Seong Jin calls me that too.
"Hey, Mum," I greet dully, sinking back into my pillow and tucking the blanket under my chin.
"Happy birthday, sweetheart," she immediately squeals.
I can't control the flinch which escapes from me from the pain of her shouting. After a while, a small grin of appreciation tugs my lips up. At least she didn't forget. With everything going on with Landon, I would've thought that it would've slipped their mind. It's nice to know that I'm not forgotten.
"Your father also wishes you a happy birthday, but he's still organising stuff with our travel agent."
"Travel agent?"
"Oh, yes," she exclaims as if she's just recalling something that she failed to recite to me beforehand. "We're coming back home today or the day after if things don't go as planned and we will be staying with you for about two or three weeks."
"That's like half a month. Is Landon willing to take so much time off his extreme sports?"
"It was actually Landon's idea for us to come back home," she replies, her words surprising me. With how adamant he was about travelling all around the world and not coming back, I would've never guessed that he'd suggest to my parents that they come back. "He says that your father and I need to spend more time with our son. Especially on his birthday. It's been so long since I've seen you."
I remain silent for a while, taking everything she is telling me in. The only thing running through my head is that it's too good to be true. Why would Landon tell my parents to come back home? He's a stubborn, selfish bastard who only thinks of himself. Why would he suggest to them that they come home for my birthday? Unless the selflessness he had in him still resides within him. I don't want to get my hopes up and then have them completely crushed though.
"Domi? You still there?"
I snap out of it and quickly respond to her, "Yeah. Yeah, I'm still here. Thank you… for the birthday wishes and, uh, I can't wait to see you and Father. Landon too. I miss you all."
"Ncaw, I miss you too. I can't wait to see you, baby." she coos.
I groan at the term of endearment, "Mum, what did I say about calling me that? I'm not seven anymore."
"No, you are eighteen now. A big boy." I start to notice thick emotion in her voice, and I scowl irritably when I realise what's about to come. "My baby is growing up so fast."
"Please, not the waterworks," I beg in irritation.
She sniffs through the device. "I-I'm sorry. It's just not so long ago I held you in my arms as a baby and now… you're almost old enough to be a father."
"Mum, I'm just eighteen. Not thirty-five or something." I argue, sighing deeply at her words. Old enough to be a father, my arse. "I'm not planning on even being a father in my late twenties."
She remains quiet after that and I hear a familiar voice in the background speaking to her. Landon. "I have to go, sweetie. I'll call you later," she promises, and I nod until I realise that she can't see me so instead I answer with a quiet word of affirmation. "I heart you."
"I heart you too, Mum," I reply in the way I have ever since I was a kid.
When she hangs up, an unconscious smile tugs onto my lips and I place the phone back on the sideboard. I hope to see them soon. I may not voice it out a lot, but I love my parents. Deep down, I know I do. And I understand why they are a thousand miles away from me. It's not their fault. Holding that thought in mind, I slowly shut my eyes to go back to sleep, but then my phone vibrates with an incoming message.
I frown, but pick it up again and see that I have one new message from Dinah James. Furrowing my brows, I wonder what they might be texting me for. Probably something stupid.
Dinah James: Happy eighteenth birthday, Byronic.
Me: Ew.
When I put the phone back on my sideboard and bury my head back into my pillow, my eyes shut to entrap me in darkness. And in that split second, a memory flashes behind my eyes and I sit up so quickly that I'm surprised I didn't pull a muscle in my back. What was that? Why did that look… like I kissed Seong Jin in the restroom?
* * *
I pull a shirt on quickly and reach for my trousers, but the knocks on the door grow more persistent and pestering so after hopping around on one leg like an idiot, I just think fuck it and head over to the door in my boxers. If it's May and she forgot her keys or something, then I do not care if she sees me like this. She has come into my room so many times unannounced and was unbashful to see me naked.
I tell the person to stop banging on the door because I am on my way, but they don't get the hint and continue to drum their knuckles on the wood, even going as far as replicating some beats from a song.
"I said I'm coming—" I pause when I see who it is and a frown deepens on my face. "Why am I not surprised?"
"Nicky, my boy," Dinah James exclaims and before I can stop them, they pull me into their arms and embrace me tightly.
Behind them, I spot the last person I would expect to be here, and my eyes widen in surprise. He is smiling brightly behind the camera I have seen him carry around the school as he takes a picture of us. His hold on the device immediately has me suspecting he might be as nervous as I am to see me after our night in the restroom.
Does that sound weird? Our night? Does it make it seem like it was anything, but platonic? Was it platonic though?
He lowers the camera slowly with pursed lips and after staring at the photo for too long, his gaze hesitantly drifts up to look at me. I cannot ignore the way his eyes are watching me ungainly and I don't know whether I should be regretful for stupidly kissing him or if I should linger on the fact that I don't regret it in the least. I would do it all again without changing anything because now I know "what's happening".
For the time being, I let Dinah James hold me in their tight embrace, staring at Seong Jin awkwardly. I'm a big guy and they are an equally big person with muscles and this position is very much cramping my style but seeing him here makes me forget that for a while because the only thing running through my eyes is the freaking drunken kiss. And how I vividly remember the feel of his petal soft, plump, unmoving lips melded against mine.
"Okay, that's enough, Dinah," I grumble, pushing them away when I have shaken the impure thoughts away. Once they are away, I dust my shirt as if to preserve the last of my masculinity.
"Did you get it?" they muse, throwing their head back to watch Seong Jin quizzically. "Because I need to get that shit framed. You know Dominic will not allow me to hug him again?"
He answers their question by silently turning his camera over, showing them the picture he took of us.
I scowl, irked as Dinah James nods in satisfaction.
"Great. You need to send that to me ASAP." When they turn around to look at me, the expression on my face only hardens. "How you doing this morning, you little alcoholic?"
"What are you doing here?"
"Mate, are you serious?" they ask, giving me a bewildered look. "Did you think I would miss the day my little boy turns into a man?" They reach over and ruffle my already unkempt hair.
I push their hand away. "You're not my mum," I state bluntly, giving them a dry look.
"That's not what your dad—"
"Do not finish that sentence," I warn, glaring at them venomously and they raise their hand in surrender with a smug grin still curling onto their lips. "Well, you've said your piece and now you can leave."
"Nope," Dinah brushes past me, pushing me aside to waltz into the house like they own the place.
I clench my jaw in frustration, but slowly let my eyes travel all over Seong Jin's figure. Dressed in black overalls which appear loose on his lean body, they enunciate his detail delicately. His upper form is wrapped in an orange tee and one of the straps which are holding his trousers up is left unbuttoned. Then to complete the outfit is a black cap, my cap, the one he won't give back. It does not matter, because he looks cuter in it than I do.
Wait, what?
No, what the fuck are these thoughts that I am having about him? Him? Why am I thinking about him being cute in any way? Is this about the kiss, because that was supposed to extinguish my physical attraction to him? He was never meant to be the one I liked. He is a boy and I am not gay… right?
My eyes fearfully trail up to linger on his face, past his lips which look invitingly glossy today.
Oh, fuck me...
What is happening to me?
I just resort to looking into his eyes. That is a better option. At least, this way my mind won't go wild with thoughts about slamming him against the door and kissing him until he's extremely breathless.
He clears his throat and fiddles with his camera in his hands in embarrassment when the silence between us has been prolonged for a very long time. Am I making him uncomfortable?
"Uh… nice boxers," he comments, grinning from ear to ear and I don't imagine the amusement that has replaced his discomfort. He always uses humour to mask it when things aren't comfortable for him. "I thought SpongeBob was for kids."
"Well, I thought that if we were going to be doing the whole colour-changing thing, we had to do it right, right? What better way than to bring out the big guns with some bright yellow boxers?" I tell him, leaning into the doorway and showing it off with confidence. "Besides, I think they're cute."
He chuckles, throwing his head back at my quotation of him. My lips tug up a little and I just look at him. He's so beautiful.
It's not the same beauty that Jodie has, because let me just lay it down there, Jodie is hands down gorgeous. She is the whole package—well, minus the blonde moments she sometimes has. She is very attractive which is the superficial reason why I chose to like her and sometimes she makes my lips twitch into a tiny smile. Any girl who can do that deserves a plus in my books.
But Seong Jin.
Oh, Seong Jin is a whole different beast. This boy is most definitely a beach, both metaphorically and literally. Beaches for me are one of those trademarks that will never cease to amaze me. They are a place of both relaxation and fun. The water is sometimes cool and sometimes warm, but you unwittingly get accustomed to that water, it somehow breaks through your hesitation and makes you go in fully. That is the kind of beauty that I see within Seong Jin.
Who in the fuck is this cheesy arse-hat?
"Do you," I drawl out, laying against the doorway leisurely to throw him off of his trail if he's wondering why I'm staring at him differently today, "maybe want to come in or are you heading back home?"
He shrugs a shoulder up and decides to instead enter through the door, past me. With a deep sigh, I close the door behind him and after pressing my forehead against the wooden surface, berating myself internally, I follow after him as he goes into the lounge, taking everything in curiously.
We find Dinah James slouching on a sofa with a packet of Skittles in their lap. They are lucky that May, Thomas and Zachary went to the grocery store, or they would scold them for eating their snacks.
"What are you guys doing here?" I ask them.
Seong Jin takes a seat beside Dinah and they offer him the packet.
"I mean, Dominic, it's your birthday. You're turning nineteen."
"Eighteen," I correct.
"Yeah, that," Dinah dismisses. "We need to go out and celebrate, down a few and party the night away. Did you know that the girls at the pub right out of town always spoil the birthday person? As in the last time I went out with Jordan for my birthday and girls were flocking me. I had one on my back, one on each hand and three in my lap. Heaven."
"Okay..."
"I am so jealous of you right now… or we could say we're twins and both get the girls," they ramble excitedly.
"Dinah, you are Arabic. Do you see the hole in your suggestion?" I sit on the other one-seat sofa.
"There are Arabic and Black twins. I've seen it before."
"Where?"
"That doesn't matter."
"Don't you have exams to write or college people to fuck?"
While still munching on the sweets he was given, Seong Jin inputs, "That is exactly what I said."
"And I'll repeat it," they exclaim, throwing a pointed look his way, "I finished my exams earlier and we're going to fuck random people wherever we go tonight so, it's still a win-win."
"Just so we're clear, I'm not going clubbing with you so we can fuck a bunch of people. I might consider going just to celebrate Dominic's birthday, but other than that, I am out," Seong Jin tells them.
They frown, pouting at him which makes him grin in hilarity. His smile has a naggingly heavy feeling sprouting in my chest and causing me to scowl in confusion.
"Well, then you," they point at me and I quickly tame my expression into the usual impassiveness, "you need to get ready. Put on something that won't scare the girls away."
"Like what?"
"Some colour. White would be appreciated." They nod. "Also, get rid of those SpongeBob boxers. They are a major turn-off."
"Well, I think they're cute," Seong Jin defends.
"You think everything is cute, kitten so your opinion doesn't count."
Kitten?
"All my clothes are black and grey," I tell them, subtly glaring over at Seong Jin when he opens his mouth to point out to Dinah James that I'm lying.
This causes him to purse his lips closed and go back to silently chewing on the sweets.
"Seems like you might have to go clubbing on your own or you know, take Jordan with you. Also, I told May that I won't be doing any drinking any time soon. The headache I have is also encouraging me to stay at home and sleep the day away."
"That's boring," they comment, giving me an irritated look. "Dominic, it's your birthday. What happened to celebrating? Your generation is all about partying, no?"
"It's a Sunday, Dinah. One, school night and I have assignments to complete. Two, my parents promised to come over and I do not want them to find me stumbling in after one in the morning, drunk out of my mind. Three, I just don't want to."
Dinah sighs and throws their hands up in defeat. "Fine. I'll just party alone. Party of one, more like party of fun." They stand up and start doing the robot.
"Stop that," I demand in a deadpan manner.
"I need to pee," Seong Jin announces out of the blue and we both gaze at him with a weird look.
"Into the hallway, two doors down." I slowly tell him.
He grins and gives the packet of Skittles back to Dinah James who happily takes a fistful and shoves them in their mouth like a pig. My face scrunches up in disgust and at seeing my reaction, Seong Jin chuckles softly, heading into the hallway with my eyes following him the entire way until he disappears. When I glance back at Dinah James, their eyes are watching me in suspicion so I stand up to go back to bed before they can explore their suspicions.
"Now, that we've got that sorted out, you know where the door is. Tell Seong Jin I had to sleep."
"You know, I think we need to get that boy laid one of these days."
"Don't you dare," I growl out of nowhere, turning around so quickly I'm surprised that I didn't break an ankle or my neck.
They scoff and give me a weirded-out look. "Okay. A simple no would have sufficed."
"I mean… his mum is very strict on him so I don't think that it's a good idea to do that," I justify my actions and when I think that it's not enough, I add, "and he's sort of my friend and if… he finds out that you tried to set him up with someone and then it fails or he gets heartbroken then he and you might have a falling out then it's gonna put me in a very tight spot. I don't wanna deal with that."
Dinah James stares at me with furrowed brows for a while almost as if they are trying to figure something out until a smirk begins to quirk up their lips. "Oh, my God. You like him."
"What? That's absurd."
"Yet you're not denying it. You do like him," they exclaim with amusement surfacing in their eyes. "I knew that there was something off with the other hot chick. You wouldn't fall for someone like that. You probably used her as an excuse to get closer to Seong Jin."
"Okay, that's not true at all. I did harbour romantic feelings for Jodie," I say truthfully.
"Listen to yourself," they point out passionately. "I did harbour romantic feelings for Jodie. That's not how you talk about someone you like. You say it like it is. I like Jodie."
"I did."
"You did?"
"I mean… I-I do."
"You faltered."
"I didn't… I didn't falter."
"You faltered again," they whisper-shout and stare at me with astonishment running over their face. "What the fuck? You freaking like him, Byronic."
"No. I like Jodie."
"I call bullshit," they state and I avert my gaze to the blank television screen. What I would give for it to switch on right now. That would cause us to focus on the mystery of the TV which switches itself on. "I should have picked up on the sexual tension between you two. Something happened in that cubicle, didn't it?"
"Nothing happened."
"I call bullshit again," they state convinced and I know from here that there is nothing I can say to convince them otherwise. "Mate, you have to tell me. If you can't even tell your friend, who would you tell?"
"Nothing happened," I emphasise.
"Tell me."
"No."
"Tell me."
"No."
"Tell me."
"We kissed, okay?" I yell softly in irritation so that Seong Jin doesn't hear our quarrel. Dinah James' eyes widen at my revelation and their mouth drops in surprise. "There. I said it. We kissed."
"You kissed?" they breathe out.
"Well, technically, I kissed him. He… I don't think he kissed me back. I don't know. I was drunk and it was a stupid mistake. Fuck, I can just imagine how awkward things will be between us when I tell him that I remember. I should just give the sketchbook and his vlogs back and end everything."
"Ooh. So you're the type who gains their balls when they're drunk." They chuckle in hilarity and I narrow my eyes at them for finding this situation so amusing. "So you kissed him, but he didn't kiss you back and now… you like him?"
"I don't… I don't like him."
"You faltered again," they point out with a tsk, shaking their head pitifully. "Oh, this is bad. Do we even know if he likes you back? I mean, you're blackmailing him with his sketchbook. I wouldn't kiss you back either if I was him."
"Shut up," I snap.
"So are you going to tell him that you like him?"
"I don't—"
"Yeah, yeah. You don't like him," they cut me off, rolling their eyes as if they don't believe me. "Besides, do you realise that he's your first kiss? You better pray that you did the most, mate. Did you do the most, Dominic?"
"I don't know." I scratch my hair awkwardly. "I don't wanna talk about this."
"Because you like him."
"I don't like him."
"Let's see how long you believe that, mate."
"I don't have to believe anything for a certain amount of time, because it's the truth. I don't like Seong Jin."
Not only am I trying to convince them, but I am also trying to convince myself that I am not falling for Seong Jin. It has to be Jodie. She was the one I chose. She's the one I trust myself to not fall too deeply for. Seong Jin is a wild card and I cannot under any circumstances fall for him.
I do not like him in that way. I do not like him in any way. He is irritating. I do not like irritating people. It is just a stupid physical attraction from the kiss and it's going to leave very soon and that's the truth.