After I am done telling him the entire tale from top to bottom, I look up at him shyly.
He stares back at me, his eyes taking in every detail of my expression and soaking all the information in like a sponge. For a moment, the air between us is still and a silence pursues after that. It looks like he's thinking everything through in his head. His eyes linger on mine deeply, almost as if he is doing it subconsciously and thoughtlessly.
Should I hold his gaze knowing that once he realises it he won't like it or should I avert it away and let him do his thinking? But then I think, fuck it, and keep our eyes locked. I observe the thought process happening on his face meticulously, expecting a prompt reaction to my tale. To my surprise, he seems to be taking longer than expected to process the information.
For a moment, I wonder if he is in shock. However, his complexion remains unchanged and the tip of his nose still holds its usual pink hue, which reassures me that he is okay.
I continue to observe him, seated in my chair as he remains motionless. Suddenly, he snaps out of his trance and realises what he is doing. His face turns into a bright cherry red and he averts his gaze from me, clearly embarrassed.
"So… he kissed you?" Christian muses slowly as if he cannot believe that Dominic was the one who initiated the whole thing.
"Why do you sound so surprised that he kissed me?"
Instead of answering my question, he continues to probe so that he can get all the facts straight, "Did you kiss him b-back?"
"No." I shake my head slowly and then I backtrack when the second kiss flashes behind my eyes. "Well, not at first. I was too shocked to do anything so I just froze up until he pulled away, but then he kissed me again and… I guess I kissed him back that time."
He bobs his head up and down at my words and for a while, we sit in a comfortable quiet again.
Then his attention is suddenly drawn to something behind me. As he glances over my shoulder, his eyes narrow and become visibly colder. With pinched eyebrows of intrigue, I crane my neck to see what's caught his attention, but all I see is a group of rowdy football players sauntering into the diner, making their usual commotion. Who is he glaring at with such fervency?
"Was it good?" he asks suddenly and my head snaps around in shock.
"What?"
"The kiss," he clarifies. "Was it… good?"
My mouth gapes awkwardly as incoherent sounds leave past my parted lips. A fish underwater would be the perfect representation of my opening and closing mouth as I try to find a response to his question. I don't think the enquiry shocks me that much, to be honest. I think it has more to do with the person behind this enquiry. This is Christian we are talking about. Shy, stuttering Christian.
"I mean," I clear my throat, tracing the markings on the light brown table while trying to prevent the blush from surfacing onto my cheeks like it wants to, "it was… okay for his first time. Not saying that I'm a professional at kissing or anything."
"What h-happened afterwards?"
"Afterwards, he said he wasn't feeling too well. Then he just passed out on me and so I let him nap on my lap. When we got rescued, he had sobered up and offered me a ride back home, but just to be on the safe side I let his friend drive us home. Even when I visited his house on his birthday, he didn't say anything else and acted like the kiss did not even happen."
"Huh. Do you th-think he doesn't remember?"
I sigh and shrug. "Maybe. I mean, he did drink almost an entire bottle of wine. Maybe he'll never even recall it ever in his life." I shake my head from the bemusement running through my mind. "I just don't understand why. Why would Dominic of all people kiss," I hiss the word out lowly afraid that anyone around us would hear us, "me? I just want to know what he was thinking?"
"Just as Shakespeare s-says: L-Lechery, it provokes, and unprovokes; it p-provokes… it provokes the desire, but it takes away the p-p-performance: therefore, much drink may be said to be an equi-equivocator with lechery."
"I'm not gonna question why you know that line for line, but that may have something to do with it. Maybe the alcohol messed with him so much that he thought I was Jodie and he wanted to kiss me, but he didn't want to kiss me." I frown at my words.
"Do you l-like him?"
My mind blanks. "I don't know. I don't think so."
"You don't sound so sure. Do you or do you not l-like him?"
"I think I don't," I assert adamantly but he still looks at me disbelievingly. "Maybe I cannot keep the kiss out of my mind, but that does not mean anything, right? Any normal person would be overwhelmed by an abnormal guy like Dominic kissing them, right? It would not just be me, right? I mean, maybe even Jodie would question it sometime in the future, right?"
"Right." I don't miss the grin of amusement which stretches over his lips.
"Man, this is so messed up." A breath of frustration leaves my lips and I slump into the table. "What has my life come to? This is a real shit show."
"I know," he confirms, smiling down at me with even more hilarity as I peek up at him through my lashes. Like Appa would pet my head to comfort me, he does the same thing. "I mean, Dominic of all people kissed you. I d-didn't s-see that one coming."
"Didn't see what coming?"
I jump up in shock.
Christian rears his hand away from me like he just got scorched, looking just as startled as I am.
Our previously normal-sized eyes now look like large saucers as we both try to gather our thoughts and figure out what just happened. As I glance towards the source of the noise, I realise that it's Jodie who had just entered the booth. Speak of the devil, I immediately think in panic. She slides in next to me, taking a seat and I can feel my heart racing as I try to compose myself. Meanwhile, Mia greets Christian with a wave and occupies the seat next to him.
Do you think she heard us speaking about the boy who has been reeling her in? My eyes ask Christian. Did she hear me telling you about how Dominic and I kissed in that family toilet?
I d-don't know, his eyes answer.
"Um… what?" I stammer out.
"We w-w-were…"
"Uh… we were talking about that—"
"Um, v-video."
"Yes, of the cat which won a fight against—"
"A bear!"
"A bear," I echo after Christian confidently until his words hit me and I stare at him flabbergasted at how idiotic that sounds when put together. "A bear?"
Jodie scowls suspiciously.
I quickly insert, resisting the urge to cringe at how the excuse sounds. "Yes, a bear. I mean it just mauled it and well, we did not see it coming. Christian and I."
"Seong Jin and I. We were shocked. Cats m-mauling bears."
Seriously? Cats mauling bears? That's so unheard of.
Jodie glances up in thought as if trying to recall ever seeing a video like that. "I have never seen that before. Have you?"
Mia shakes her head, no. "What's the video called?"
"Um… what's the video called?"
They nod their heads, yes.
Stutteringly, I say, "I think… like claws or something?"
"Or y-you know," Christian adds, redirecting the attention to him, "y-you could just search cat winning a fight against a b-bear."
"'Cause you know it's blowing up all over the internet. Obviously."
"You should w-watch it."
That's if it even exists. Why are you still blabbering, Christian?
"Okay."
"Great."
"Y-You're g-gonna die of laughter. It's hila—"
"Anyway," I press, throwing daggers at Christian who hastily clamps his mouth shut and sheepishly sinks into his seat, "why are you guys so late today? Normally, Christian is the one who shows up fifteen minutes too late but even he's here before all of you."
I change the subject from bears and cats because Mia seems to be catching onto the fact that we are lying. She was always a sharp one. It is what makes her such a great debater, one of the best in our school. I think it has something to do with her love for politics; she has always been interested in that since the ninth grade.
Hopefully, Jodie forgets about it and does not search for a video involving a cat winning a fight against a bear. I am not so sure how many results she'll get. I'm going to guess close to zero.
"Fleance is coming. He's outside answering a call."
"Veronique is on her way," Jodie says, flicking her hair off her shoulder, "and I was with Dominic after school."
With an irked scowl, she begins to hastily rummage in her bag. When she pulls out a hair tie and throws her ginger locks into a ponytail, I wistfully recall how back in middle school, back when we were still friends she kicked Andy Hoffman in the nether region for ripping her hair tie off and ruining her perfect ponytail.
He obviously meant it as a joke and most probably had a crush on her, but Jodie sure did take neat hair very seriously. Taylor and I would tease her about it all the time as we brought schoolwork to her since she got suspended for it.
"So get this. Saturday night we went on a date."
"I called it," Mia mutters without even glancing up from her book.
"And well, he completely stood me up." She backtracks for a second and then says, "Well, actually he did arrive, but he said that he needed to answer a call or something so he stepped aside and then he never returned. What do you call that?"
"Like donkey ditch," I suggest.
"What the hell is donkey ditch?"
"I don't know. Is that not something that people say?"
Mia cuts into the conversation, "No, they say ding-dong ditch."
"Yeah, he ding-dong ditched me," Jodie coins the term from her.
"That's horrible," I whisper, as incredulously as my façade allows me to be. "W-What did you do."
"I mean, I was pissed."
"Obviously."
"So I talked to him."
"You talked to him. There was no other way around it."
Nervousness coils my intestines inside out as I wait for her next words. What if he told her that he kissed me? Does he even remember that he kissed me? Would he tell her that he kissed me?
No, I'm fine. If he did tell her the truth then she would've stormed in here like a woman on a mission, scorched by a former friend who does not respect girl code. But in my defence, he kissed me first. Not the other way around. My conscience is clean. I am guilt free. If anyone should feel guilty it is Dominic.
"And? What did he say?"
"He said that he was gonna come back, but then he ended up getting stuck in the restroom. I thought that was a pretty shit excuse."
"What was he doing in the restroom?" Mia muses with a confused frown.
That's not a very intelligent question.
"Exactly. Why tell me you're going to answer a call outside when you're really sneaking into the restroom? It didn't make any sense so I threatened to check with Alfredo—he's the Italian chef who manages the restaurant. Dominic told me to go ahead and do it because he was telling the truth. So I did check with him and he confirmed his story so I forgave him and now we're cool again."
Did he get the Italian chef to lie to Jodie? Alfredo did not see us in the restroom nor did he see us leaving said restroom.
"Speaking of Dominic, w-where is he?"
She looks over at Christian when he asks her that and they share a look that escapes me before she averts her gaze back to me, as if looking at him would be too much of a challenge whilst replying. My eyebrows thin into my eyelids.
"Oh, he told me that he couldn't make it today. Something about tutorials or whatever. I don't know. He's always just doing random stuff at school. You know, he started the Lending-A-Helping-Hand campaign just recently? The one where we have to donate non-perishables?"
"Really?" Mia muses.
My eyebrows knit down. All three of their voices fade away as I sink deeper into my thoughts.
Today is Monday and his tutorial classes are on Wednesday, he once said. Why would he lie about that? Could it be that he's avoiding me after what he did in the restroom? I mean, sooner or later he is going to have to face me and explain to me why he kissed me. He cannot just kiss me and not give me an explanation. Although, maybe his being drunk is explanation enough.
"S-So you and Dominic are d-dating now?" Christian decides to input the question also playing on my mind as I'm brought back into the real world.
"Or are you guys just vibing with each other in the meantime?" Mia adds.
"Well, we're not officially boyfriend and girlfriend, but it looks like it's heading in that direction. We spend a lot of time together and he makes me happy; feel… liked, you know?" An excited smile perches sweetly on her lips and I scowl at the little pang that jabs my chest.
"So you're going to date Dominic?" I cut in. "Because I thought you don't do dating."
"I know. I don't," she responds and I take a quick look over at the other pair who look as invested in her answers as I am. "I didn't? I mean, with Dominic, he's just so mysterious and brooding, but then he shows me a side of him that no one has ever seen before. With other guys, it's just about my body and having sex and then we go our separate ways after that."
I nod slowly.
"I mean, I'm not putting it all on them. The guys, I mean. I use them just as much as they use me and that's fine. It's a transaction which benefits both parties. At the end of the day, I get what I want and they get what they want. But with Dominic, as cheesy as this is going to sound, it's, uh... different. As I said, he makes me feel wanted differently. Not in a sexual, pervy way. You know?"
"Hmm?" My eyes widen innocently and I shake my head. "N-No. Why would I know… like… pfft no."
"Okay," she chuckles, giving me a weird look.
Christian scolds me with his eyes.
I shrug blamelessly.
"Excuse me," Mia calls and my father turns around and sees her hailing a waiter, but they all seem preoccupied so he raises his shoulders as if to silently say hey, what the hell and approaches us.
"How may I help you?" he muses.
"May I please get one peach-flavoured iced tea," she orders.
"Make that two please," Jodie adds and I want to say the next part of what she wants, just like we used to back as kids when we used to hang around the diner which was an awful amount of times, "and one caramel-coated doughnut with chocolate sprinkles."
He nods and tells her that that's a good choice, just like he always does—did.
Then Jodie would always admirably say, "Thanks, Mr Denver," with a proud grin stretching from ear to ear.
She was always the respectful one amongst our little trio. Unlike Taylor who had no problem addressing parents by their first names, she'd always be respectful. Then my father would chastise her and say that she should just call me Franklin. She would turn bashful and nod, but knowing her, she would not ever call my father by his name. That is when I would jokingly ask him if I could also call him Franklin to which he'd say no. Every time.
"You're still friends with Seong Jin, I see."
Visibly, Jodie stiffens from my father's incorrect observation and after Christian throws a wide-eyed stare at me, she smiles awkwardly and slowly nods, her eyes flickering over to me through panic.
I stretch a reassuring smile her way. My father does not need to know about any teenage drama. Let's let him think that we live in a fantasy world where nothing can break up childhood friendships. After writing her order down on his pad, he looks up at Christian and smiles warmly.
"And what about you? Since you're friends with my son it's on the house."
"Uh, m-may I please g-get a chocolate milkshake?"
"One chocolate milkshake," he jots down until he glances up at me and adds, "Probably should make that two chocolate milkshakes, right Seong Jin?"
"I'm fine, Dad," I reply.
"Nonsense!" he exclaims and then leaves after, of course, ruffling my hair, causing me to groan and fix it.
"Your dad's n-nice," Christian compliments.
"Yeah, I know," I answer.
Before he can say anything else to me, someone looms over at the side of our table and we all glance over at him as he scratches the back of his neck nervously. Perplex stains my face when he reluctantly looks over at Christian whose jaw is clenched so tightly you'd think he's grinding a large stone in his mouth. He makes sure to avoid his boyfriend's gaze at all costs and for a moment I wonder what's going on between them. Are they fighting?
Hurt passes through Riley's eyes before he strays his gaze down onto his shoes, shoving his hands down the pockets of his trousers.
"We need to talk, Munchy," he whispers loud enough for the four of us to hear.
Aw, he calls him Munchy. That's too cute.
"I have n-nothing t-to s-say to you," Christian stammers out, pursing his lips into a grim.
"Please," he whispers again, looking into his eyes pleadingly.
My eyes widen when his eyes glisten with tears. It doesn't take a genius to notice the tension between them. Rubbing a hand across his mouth, he sniffs and blinks the tears away.
"Just let me say this one thing and if you still want nothing to do with me, then," he swallows, "then I'll leave you alone."
Christian's resolve seems to break and after releasing a sigh of defeat, he looks over at us as if to ask for permission.
"It's okay," I say to him, waving him off dismissively. "We'll keep your seat warm for you."
With a strained smile which doesn't reach his eyes, he stands up and heads out of the diner hastily. After giving both Jodie, Mia and me an indecipherable look, Riley spins on his heels and follows after him like a dog who has lost its favourite bone and is willing to do anything in its power to get it back, to reclaim it. Peeking outside the window, we all curiously watch the couple as Riley tries to reach out and grab his hand. His boyfriend doesn't allow it.
Fleance arrives and tells Mia to scoot over. "What's going on over there? The tension is unpalatable."
"Are they fighting?" I ask Jodie since she is the closest to Riley and would know if they were.
She grimaces. "Riley probably did something bad."
"Did he… cheat?"
"No, he would never cheat on him. He loves him too much to hurt him like that," she explains, shaking her head adamantly. "I think he's just going through a rough time. You know how his parents get sometimes."
"Right," I murmur, my face dropping when the realisation hits me.
Looking outside again, I scowl sadly when I see Riley roughly wiping the wet saltiness staining his face, still reaching out to Christian who unwillingly lets him bury his face in his neck, shaking with a sob. Reluctantly, the shorter boy wraps his arm around his waist, pulling Riley closer as if to exude enough comfort to his boyfriend to calm him down. To think that Riley is the one who's more affected by their fight is shocking. I would've assumed that Christian would be the emotional one.
Glancing away, I go back to discussing the project with Jodie, Mia and Fleance feeling like this moment is private for them. I hope everything works out because honestly, I'm secretly rooting for them.