As I stood on the high bridge over the road, I could feel the chilly yet cozy evening breeze grace my cheeks. It felt cooler where the tears had run down but I wasn't crying anymore. I came here with the intention to do one thing – the final thing, to end my sorry life here tonight.
I looked up and took in the gloomy images of the clouded night sky for one last time. It looked like the perfect night to die, and that strengthened my resolve.
Without any further hesitation or deliberations, I climbed up onto the fence, spread my arms out like an eagle, and closed my eyes. Just a little more, I wanted to feel this breeze just once more before I let myself fly off from this life.
"Dude, what the fuck?!"
I was startled by the sudden scream and that made my body twitch, which should have made me fall off the fence and hit the concrete on the road down below, but I fell to the wrong side of the fence because someone grabbed my belt and yanked me backward.
This was not how it was supposed to go – I felt a rush of rage at being interrupted in what could be the most significant, and last, moment of my life.
"Who are you to stop me?!"
I looked up to see who this person could be but was dumbfounded when there was nobody around as I looked around.
"Can you please get off me now"
Oh.
It was only then I realized I actually fell on the person who ruined my suicide or rescued my life, depending on from which perspective one wants to phrase it.
I rolled off to the side and quickly got up to look down on this disturber. It was a girl wearing a way over-sized black hooded top and dirty jeans. She looked so scruffy and ungroomed that she almost looked like a homeless person despite the fact that her face told me she was probably similar to my age, fifteen to be exact.
"Why did you do that?"
I angrily asked her while she was still lying on the floor on her back.
"You were gonna jump off and kill yourself weren't you?"
The girl asked me in a voice that carried not-so-subtle hint of annoyance.
"Yes, and it was none of your business."
"So I should have just let you jump off and die?"
"Yes."
"Nah, I couldn't let you do that."
"Shut up you bitch, nobody 'let' me die or live. If I kill myself that's my own decision and action."
"Don't be so selfish."
"Oh, so you gonna lecture me now, a complete stranger that has nothing to do with me, about how suicide is selfish? Bitch please, I don't need that crap."
"No. You've got it wrong. I didn't mean it that way at all."
"What do you mean then?"
"It's my shift tonight to clean this road, which means if you jumped down, I would have to scrape your remains off the road myself."
"What the hell?"
"And it also happened to be that I was passing by just now, so I would have been the first person to see you dead. That means I'd probably need to call the police myself and that would be very troublesome. And if by any chance they suspected I pushed you down or something like that, that would be even more trouble for me."
"So… you stopped me from dying because that would have caused you inconvenience?"
"Now you get it. So, please, don't kill yourself on this bridge. Go find somewhere else, or at least not on Tuesday night."
I was a bit dumbfounded by her explanation, but I had to agree it would indeed have been very troublesome for her if I died right in front of her eyes, on the road she was supposed to clean – was that her job or something?
"Anyways, help me get up."
"Get up yourself. I'm gonna move along now."
I turned around and started to walk off.
"Dude! I can't get up! My back hurts." – I heard her scream behind my back.
Jesus. I guess I might have hurt her when I fell and landed on her.
I reluctantly walked back towards her and extended my arms down. She grabbed my hands and lifted her upper body a bit, but quickly let go and dropped again with a groan.
"Ah fuck. This hurts."
I felt a pang of guilt.
"Where does it hurt? Are you okay?"
"No. My lower back hurts when I try to lift my body. I will fucking sue you if this is some serious injury."
"Welp. You didn't have to pull me down."
"Yes. I should have just let you die."
She was probably right, but in any case, I was still alive for now and had to do something for the trouble I caused.
"Should I call an ambulance?"
"That's a bit too much, let's try one more time. Grab my body instead of pulling my arms."
"Ok"
So I lowered myself, put my arms under her armpit, and pulled her up.
"What are you doing?! I said help me up, not hug me!"
"Whatever, just bear with it."
I managed to pull her body up into a sitting position and let my arms go. She was finally able to at least sit up but panted and groaned in pain.
"Does it really hurt?"
"Yeah, it should pass but it hurts for now."
"Sorry."
"I don't think I can work tonight."
"You are a street cleaner?"
"Yes, part-time. And this area is my shift tonight."
"Well, I suppose you are right. It would have been pretty troublesome for you."
"Exactly. Now, hand me your phone."
"What? Why?"
"Duh, I need to call my boss to say I can't work tonight."
"Call him from your phone."
"I don't have a phone."
Oh. Maybe she forgot to bring it or something. So I handed over my phone. She then called her boss and I overheard her apologizing and explaining to her boss – sorry, I can't come to work tonight, some idiot landed on me and hurt me, no it's okay it was an accident, don't worry I will be alright, sorry again and thanks.
She finished the call, let out a big sigh, and handed the phone back to me.
"You got a pen?", the girl asked me.
"Why?"
"I need your number, so I want to write it down."
"Why do you need my number?"
"So I can get you to pay for the hospital fee if it comes to that."
"Look, you are the one who pulled me down on you."
"Yes. Now I think I should have pushed you down and taken the wallet from your dead body."
"Gees, okay, here you go."
I handed over a pen from my shirt's pocket – which made me feel a bit embarrassed as it must have looked like I'm some kind of a nerd – and she jotted down my number on the back of her hand as I recited it to her.
"OK, now, get lost. I will call you if I need to go to the hospital."
"You gonna be okay?"
"Yeah, just jog on now will ya? And remember, don't kill yourself here, not on Tuesday night."
For someone who technically 'saved' my life, this girl was quite irritating, and I no longer felt any sense of guilt or responsibility to help her anymore. I got up again and walked off, leaving her rustling and groaning sound behind.