"Miya, are you in there?", I called into the lodge.
It was a Saturday morning and since we were not going to meet after school – as I had no school, duh – I walked over to Miya's lodge. I woke up in the early morning and for some reason could not go back to sleep. The season was the slowly approaching summer and the sun was starting to rise earlier.
I heard no response coming from inside the lodge. I felt a bit awkward intruding but crouched and semi-crawled into the lodge to see if Miya was in there, sleeping – or as she said, hibernating.
It wasn't as dark as I remember last time, probably because the light was coming in through the lodge's entrance. Even I could see that there was no one inside.
I moved out of the lodge to look around and found Miya some distance away in the river swimming with her head sticking out. I ran over to her calling out her name
"Hey, Miya!"
She seemed a little startled and stopped swimming. Was the river shallow enough on that part for her to stand on? Or maybe she's pretty good at swimming and floating, unlike me, so she's keeping her position still against the current?
Anyway, as I approached and almost got to where Miya was, she called out to me
"Yo, don't come closer, you dumb ass"
"What's wrong?"
"Can't a girl have a bit of privacy?"
That made me chuckle.
"Miya, you are the most shameless person I know"
"Yeah, but I'm still not that keen on exposing myself naked"
Huh? Then I saw the clothes and worn-out shoes scattered on the slope leading down to the river – the black hoodie, jeans, underwear… oh.
"Erm, I'm sorry. I'll leave now"
"No stay, I'm almost done. I'll come out and get dressed now"
"Ok... I will look away, don't worry"
And I kept my words by clearly facing the other direction.
I heard Miya come out of the water and walk towards me, to grab her clothes that were near me.
"Right, I'm done"
I looked around again and Miya was there looking cleaner than I'd ever seen her
"Wow, you washed yourself?"
"Yeah. I do this sometimes"
"You look kinda different when you are clean"
"Really?"
"Yeah, erm, you are actually not that bad looking"
Miya gave me a slap on the back of my head.
"So you've always thought I was minging, eh?"
"Ouch, no. It's just that you look nicer when you are clean"
"Don't get too used to it. I don't bath often"
"What made you do that today then?"
"I wanted to go to your home"
Er..
"And when did you get invited?"
"Pfft, I go where I want"
"I guess it's not a problem, but why would you want to come to my place?"
"I want to see how you live, and maybe even see your family"
"You are not missing anything. Actually, I don't want you to see my family. They are shit"
"You don't like your family?"
"No"
"That's a shame because I don't have one at all"
That kind of hurt my heart a bit. Not the guilt or insensitivity of what I said to this girl who has nothing, but the thought of Miya having been alone for god knows how long and enduring everything herself with no one to lean on.
"Well, you can come over then"
We then took another long walk back to my place, and Miya looked as though she was going to an amusement park. I don't know for how long she lived this life of a hermit in her lodge, or what happened to her parents, but I guess it has been a while since she's been inside a real residential place.
When we entered home I was glad to find that no one was around. It would have been troublesome if my mum was around to butt in and say stupid things like 'Oh my, it's the first time he brings a girl home'.
So we went straight to my room and I could sense that Miya had springs on her steps. I flung the door open and motioned her to go in.
"Welcome to my lodge, master"
"Yipeee!" Miya let out an excited squeal, and.. threw herself straight onto my bed.
"Er.. Miya, what are you doing?"
"I can't even remember how long it has been since I lay down on a bed! This feels amazing!"
Oh. That's right. This must feel good for her. I could understand now.
"You are welcome to enjoy"
But by the time I said this Miya was already sound asleep.
"Who is this?", I was woken up by a sudden voice of my mum – huh, I must have dozed off on the floor while Miya was sleeping on my bed.
"Oh, mum, it's my friend, and don't just barge into my room like this"
"You have a girl sleeping on your bed?!"
"Like I said, she's a friend, shh, you are gonna wake her up, let her sleep"
Then suddenly Miya shot up like she was startled, looked dazed and confused for a second as she muttered,
"… Mum?"
"Yes, it's my mum"
"Oh..", I don't know what her disappointed little sigh was for, but she quickly composed herself and turned her head to face my mum.
"Greetings. Did you know that your son wants to die?"
"Miya, what the fuck..?!"
I quickly jumped to the bedroom door, slammed my door shut, and locked it. My mum was banging on the door shouting "Open up, what's going on!"
"Miya! What the fuck was that for?!"
She shrugged and said, "Well, I just wanted to know if she knew her son wanted to kill himself"
"It's none of her fucking business, and none of your fucking business either"
Miya looked at me incredulously
"So, you are intending to kill yourself in secret? You know, they will find out when you die"
"Yeah but for fuck's sake, I'm not gonna tell my mum, 'Hey mum, I will kill myself tomorrow, thanks for all the fish'"
"Why not?"
Actually, I didn't really know how to explain.
"Are you afraid? Ashamed?"
So I snapped
"It's nothing like that! And you have no right to intrude on me like this"
"You let me in though"
"But stay out of my family affairs. What does it matter to you anyway whether my mum knows or not"
Miya seemed to be thinking over something for a moment.
"I see. I think this is one of the reasons. I think there is no point for me to try to help you until this situation gets resolved"
"What the hell are you talking about?"
"I will stop being your mentor. You are not prepared to die"
"How?"
"You still care about your family"
"I hate them though-", before I could complete the sentence Miya was already up and running out of my room, leaving my mum dumbfounded standing by the door.