This little boy is Ye Xi, three years older than my younger brother. He has curly hair, looks somewhat slender, and from a distance, resembles a girl. Like them, he is also quiet and not fond of speaking, but his uniquely bright eyes are unrestrained. I wonder what kind of world exists in those eyes. A few days ago, when I first met him, an inexplicable sense of familiarity washed over me, and I regarded him as a hometown cloud.
On the day he arrived in the United States, he was utterly exhausted and fell asleep alone in the back seat. His teacher asked me to take him to the hotel. As I watched his senior sister's performance, I was completely absorbed. She played so well that I couldn't help feeling a bit jealous and regretful. I couldn't help but think, if I were to work harder, could I also perform on such a grand stage? When she played Ravel, she became a night ghostly water nymph. Elf-like key touches, impeccable technical skill, a deep blue dress, flowing black hair – as if she could enchant people.
"Yan Feng, Yan Feng, why don't you take Ye Xi back to rest first? The hotel is right nearby, it's only a 5-minute walk," I was still lost in thought when Teacher Dan approached me and spoke softly.
"Oh, sure. I'll talk to Katherine. So, should Ye Xi and I stay in the same room?"
"Yes, that's right. You two go ahead in a while," Teacher Dan replied, returning to her seat. "We'll be there in half an hour at most."
I was a bit concerned that Katherine might feel bored alone. I said to her, "Do you want to come back to the hotel with us? Li Li played really well. You can continue watching here for a bit." She seemed engrossed in the performance, so I gave her a pat on the shoulder.
"She's too amazing. I'll go back to the hotel with them in a while," Katherine whispered in my ear, lightly kissing my cheek.
"Alright." "You guys go to the hotel first! I'll be done practicing in ten minutes!" Li Li on the stage seemed to have heard us talking. She stopped playing, smiled, and waved towards us. I waved back and said, "You play so well! Bravo!" "Nothing special. I think Ye Xi plays better than me. Although he's not yet mature in terms of technique, he's like a magician, always captivating. Hahaha!" "Li Li, don't get distracted. Focus on practicing the piano," Teacher Dan advised.
I woke up Ye Xi, and when he was asleep, his eyes were tightly closed with the corners turned downward. His curly hair was neatly pressed against his temples, looking very obedient. Only his lips were slightly open, giving him a cute appearance. On the way to the hotel, I recalled Li Li's words about exchanging a pizza for Ye Xi's performance, and I had been looking forward to it these past few days. I had been observing this little kid, wondering why, at just ten years old, he seemed so profound. Sometimes, when I caught a glimpse of his expression while watching others perform, it seemed to carry a hint of disdain, perhaps a bit of childish arrogance. It made me want to laugh. At night, seeing him after taking a shower, watching Transformers in front of the television, I found him adorable again, reminding me of Kai.
On the fourth day, during the preliminary competition, Ye Xi sat next to me. I glanced at him and noticed his fingers tapping on the armrest, perfectly in rhythm. When a French contestant lagged half a beat in the development section of the sonata, Ye Xi's fingers suddenly struck a heavier beat, making a loud thud sound that felt almost painful. I silently observed him, a bit concerned. He turned his head and locked eyes with me, his gaze quickly shifting away. I pretended everything was fine and held Katherine's hand with my right hand. Katherine covered her mouth with her right hand and whispered to me, "I feel a bit uncomfortable. Can you accompany me outside for a moment?" She pulled me out of the concert hall's door.
"Feeling a bit tired these days. I have to bring them meals every day, and in the afternoons, I have to go with the translation teacher to organize documents. You and Xi Xi go watch them practice the piano. I rarely get to see you," Katherine complained, swaying her body back and forth, occasionally kicking the edge of the flower bed.
"Missed me, huh?" I held onto her and gave her a kiss.
"Nah, not really. Haha, it's just that I can sense your passion for music, a bit of obsession."
"It's okay, I just feel they are so talented, playing the piano so well. I'm a bit jealous."
"No need to envy. You play the violin very well too. In the future, you can also study music at a music conservatory. There are many excellent ones in the United States, like Curtis, Williams, and the one in California, the Berklee College of Music. Oh, and our Eastman School of Music in Rochester is also excellent." Katherine's eyes sparkled.
"Well, yeah. Let's talk about it later," I could only respond vaguely.
"Why? You're sixteen this year, it's about time to consider it."
"Alright, Katherine, let's talk about it later when we get back," I was a bit annoyed. In reality, I didn't want to explain further. I couldn't possibly go to a music conservatory; my parents had already planned my future. My older brother was studying medicine, and if everything went smoothly, he could go straight to a Ph.D. program, either working in the best hospitals in New York or becoming a professor. I chose a major in biology, aiming to work for a pharmaceutical company in the future, ensuring that my brother and I would have mutual support.
I knew my parents' considerations were thoughtful. With my brother being so accomplished, I could rely on him in the future. As long as I successfully completed my biology studies, I could later pursue biochemistry or pharmacy – all things that fell into place. Thinking about this, I felt a bit melancholic for some reason. Despite the predictability of the future, it brought me a tremendous sense of security. This security, coupled with a hint of fatalism, made me think of God. It felt as if the glory of the Heavenly Father had been shining upon my family for more than a century since my great-grandfather's generation, and I couldn't allow it to be tarnished in my generation.
"Okay. Tell me when you're ready to talk," Katherine could sense I was hiding something, but she never pressured me.
We had a good understanding and a high tolerance for conversations that ended awkwardly. We often used well-timed silence to cover up some discomfort. Even when there was a bit of distance between us at times, it never led to a breakdown.
"The competition is almost over; let's go back," I said casually, heading towards the concert hall.
"Yeah, sure. By the way, I have a friend in Fort Worth who invited me tomorrow. I requested a day off from the team," Katherine caught up with me and gave me a glance.
"Is it a guy or a girl?" I asked.
"A girl, of course," Katherine laughed.
"Alright, have a good time. Thanks for accompanying me to Fort Worth." I had just finished speaking when Ye Xi and the others came out.
They all had smiles on their faces, and I knew Li Li would definitely pass the preliminary rounds. With her skills, she was likely to be among the top three. Thinking about this, I wondered how well Ye Xi played. Why did Li Li say he was better? Examining Ye Xi closely, he had narrow double eyelids, a downward curvature at the corners of his eyes that gave him a perpetually melancholic look. High-arched eyebrows and a prominent nose, curly hair with a slight upward lift, emitting a cold fragrance like the stern pride of white camellias in winter. He always appeared as if he belonged in a Greek sculpture – divine and coldly elegant, with only his full lips betraying a mortal's stubborn defiance.
Even though he wasn't the one performing on stage, he always dressed formally during competitions. Ye Xi was a head shorter than me, slender and tall, going through that age where height increases without a corresponding weight gain. The black suit made him look particularly sharp. After leaving the concert hall, he put on a wool coat, wrapping himself up. The light from the second floor shone down through Gothic windows, illuminating his thick, curly hair. Walking towards us against the backlight, his hair gleamed. I was captivated, and as our eyes met, I averted my gaze, trying to appear unaffected.
"Congratulations! Making it to the finals, well done!" Katherine held Li Li's hand and then whispered, "I'm going out with my friend tomorrow and won't be able to accompany you."
"It's okay, you've been tired these days; you should take a break," Li Li turned to me. "Alex, you need to pamper Katherine. She came here to volunteer with you."
"It's alright; I'm genuinely interested in this. I came here on my own accord."
"You both have worked hard," Teacher Dan added, then discussed with the team leader, "How about taking a break tomorrow evening?"
"It's okay; we'll rest early tonight," I looked at Katherine, "Katherine can take a break tomorrow as well. I'm fine. Let's go back to the hotel now."
"Okay, that sounds good. Li Li played well today. Let's go back to the hotel and rest. We'll get up early tomorrow morning for piano practice," Teacher Chen said, and the other teachers nodded in agreement.
Back in the hotel room, I glanced at Ye Xi. He remained silent, not much of a talker. To lighten the atmosphere, I turned on the TV and tuned it to his favorite Transformers animation.
"Brother, can you turn off the TV?" he whispered while lying on the bed.
"You usually enjoy watching it, right? What's wrong? Are you not feeling well?" "No, I'm just a bit tired. Listening to the contestants play the piano is tiring." "Indeed, I noticed you were memorizing the scores and even tapping along today. You have a great sense of rhythm." "Can you help me get a bottle of mineral water?" He didn't respond to my previous comment. "Sure, no problem." I went to the mini-bar, grabbed a bottle of water, and tossed it to him. He struggled to twist off the cap but couldn't open it. "Here, let me do it." I took the mineral water, unscrewed the cap, and handed it back to him. "Make sure to take care of your health with regular exercise." He took the water, nodded, took a sip, placed the water back on the bedside table, turned his head, and went to sleep.
That night, I pondered Katherine's words repeatedly. My violin, bathed in a faint light, cast its glow on Ye Xi's pristine bed, outlining his curled-up figure. His profile, serene and stretched in the light, no longer displayed the stubbornness of the daytime. Jealousy welled up within me. This small individual, in the realm of music, exhibited a depth beyond his years. He was calm and adorable during the day, and in sleep, he appeared pure and carefree, without a worry in the world. It reminded me of Kai, who was also carefree. Both of them possessed innate talents, an intelligence surpassing the masses, while I was destined to be an ordinary person. A moment of sinister thoughts emerged, desiring to disrupt such perfection. "Jealousy is the rot in the bone." This malicious thought was instantly overshadowed by the proverb. Imagining my future, contemplating the distant dreams of music, I arrived at a definitive denial within my heart. It was only in surrender that I found peace.
On the fifth day, it was another day of preparations. I had to engage with different contestants, exuding cheerfulness and warmth while finding various topics to discuss. It became a bit exhausting, and I remembered the deal I made with Ye Xi – trading a pizza for his performance. Using that as an excuse, I took him to the practice room to have him play a piece for me.
I settled into a folding chair, watching him intently. He played a piece by Schumann, surpassing not only Li Li but seemingly anyone else in the world. When his fingertips touched the keys, they radiated brilliance. The movement of his arms, along with his eyebrows, and every strand of hair seemed to be dancing. I couldn't help but think of the music dream I had denied, and along with it, a fiery blaze ignited – flames leaping in my heart, illuminating the long-suppressed hope.
Ye Xi was like the sun, an angel bringing good news. I made a decision. I had always believed this was a sign from God. If I couldn't envy him or destroy someone else's genius, then I had no choice but to chase after it until I became like him.