Taipei and New York, these two cities have formed the majority of my life since then. This reminds me of Mr. Bai Xianyong's two books. Now I am also a character in those books. I am both a Taipei resident and a New Yorker. As for which side is the 'home' and which side is the 'visitor,' I can no longer distinguish. My talent agency has packaged me as a 'New Yorker,' publicly claiming that I am an ABC (American born Chinese). This is because many years ago, after the fire that affected Fei Xiang, they also highly value the mainland Chinese market. Fei Xiang's success in mainland China showed us a possible business model. Since his return to Broadway in the United States, no one has filled his void. Therefore, they believe it is an opportune time for overseas Chinese singers to become popular again. And I happen to be a Chinese-American singer-songwriter.
I don't really care how they package me; as long as I can let more people hear my music, that's good. My music is created only for Ye Xi. He is not only my love but also a symbol. If music is the Holy Spirit, and the Holy Father is in heaven, then Ye Xi is the earthly Son, the Trinity of faith. I want everyone to listen to my love for him. Even if we cannot make our love public, we can let it be sung. I unconsciously hummed the melody; it can become the world's most beautiful riddle.
A heavy hand pressed down on my shoulder, and when I turned my head, it was Song Yaowen. Instinctively, I looked to the sides, hoping to seek help with pleading eyes from Dragon Brother or Lijuan. However, they avoided eye contact with me, leaving me no choice but to stare directly at Song Yaowen with a firm gaze.
"Young man, you've got spirit," he suddenly shifted away from my eyes, patting my shoulder three times in a row. "Tonight, we're going to shabu-shabu, and the boss is treating us. Not just any shabu-shabu, it's Japanese Kobe beef. I heard your album is almost ready, scheduled for release in February. These days, you need to prepare for next week's appearances. Which channel are you going to perform on?"
"It's the Music Variety Live," Dragon Brother took off his headphones, swiveling his chair to face us entirely.
"Good, make sure to write your scripts well. Review them with the radio station in advance, know what you can and cannot say. Lijuan needs to scrutinize this carefully. By the way, Yan Feng, have you found a manager? I received calls from Mr. Bai and your mom a couple of days ago, saying they are in talks. If you don't have a suitable candidate, I have a few top-notch managers here. Oh, don't worry, they all have personal connections, unrelated to our company."
"It should be soon, General Song, please rest assured," I replied, maintaining a cool and polite tone.
"About the Wooden Boat competition, are you preparing for it? I think you should participate and boost your exposure," Song Yaowen suggested.
"Thank you for your concern, General Song. You pay attention to every detail. No need to worry too much. I keep reminding Yan Feng every day to take care of himself," Lijuan finally spoke. I knew she was being polite to Song Yaowen on the surface but actually hoped to keep him at bay.
"It's nothing. Yan Feng is now the most important artist in the company, and we are doing our best to promote him," Song Yaowen replied.
"I am truly honored," I said loudly, laughing. Lijuan gave me a look, and I added, "I will do my best to work hard and not let everyone down."
Song Yaowen looked at me kindly, placing his hand on top of mine and then covering my hand with both of his.
"What time is it? 5:56," Dragon Brother deliberately spoke loudly.
Song Yaowen suddenly released my hand, adjusted his suit sleeve, and checked his Jaeger-LeCoultre watch.
"It's about time. Let's go."
I can't recall the details of that evening very well. I only remember that it was very late, and my cheeks were sore from laughing too much. Dragon Brother had drunk too much, but Lijuan always had a good tolerance for alcohol. She would prepare sobering pills before the dinner, and when it was time to drink, she would skillfully switch her wine glass without anyone noticing. I had a valid reason to drink less – I needed to protect my voice, so I was always the most sober person.
I knew Lijuan was also sober. I saw Song Yaowen's hand intentionally or unintentionally resting on her shoulder as he kept saying, "What contracts are we signing? A prenuptial agreement?" Lijuan playfully responded, "Yes, yes. We've signed everything. The wedding will be held soon."
I decided to help Lijuan a bit. When Song Yaowen's assistant went to the restroom, I moved over and kept toasting Song Yaowen. Just like last time, he ended up sitting straight and vomiting. But if you ignored his mouth, he still maintained a refined demeanor. Most of the time, he exuded the aura of a CEO, walking with confidence, accompanied by several secretaries and assistants. Unless he was at an artist's private dining table, he always presented himself as an elegant, well-spoken workaholic. I thought to myself that with more endorsements and more works in the future, I should be able to keep a distance from him. The first contract was only for three years, and I had to become famous quickly.
At 11:34 PM, we emerged from the private room at the hot pot restaurant. My phone vibrated; it must be XiXi. I briskly walked ahead, apologizing to Dragon Brother and Lijuan. I had to leave you to handle this for now. Carefully, I unlocked my phone, finding three text messages.
"Can you talk on the phone now?" - 10:21 PM.
"I'm going on a tour in Japan next month." - 10:45 PM.
"I'm going to sleep. Good night." - 11:34 PM.
I dialed his number, and it rang 21 times before going to voicemail.
"Yan Feng, come help support Mr. Song," Lijuan signaled to me, waving me over.
I stood in place, unmoving. After a few seconds, they approached me. I had no choice but to assist Song Yaowen into his Mercedes. Dragon Brother gave instructions to the driver, and just as Song Yaowen was closing the door, he pressed his sour mouth against mine. Instantly, I felt nauseous, desperately wanting to spit it out. I bent down, attempting to use my fingers to scrape my tongue, but his car drove away.
My phone began to vibrate rhythmically again; it was XiXi calling me.
"Hello, XiXi."
"Why didn't you answer my calls?" He sounded a bit confused, like he had just woken up.
"I was having dinner with people from the management company. I'll start attending appearances in a few days. Do you watch TV?"
"I don't watch much TV. I wanted to ask if you'll come to see me next month? I'll be in Tokyo on March 12th."
"Of course, I saw your messages. I'll come to Japan to see you during your tour."
"Okay, I'm going to sleep."
"Don't you have anything else to say?"
"No, just this." Then he hung up, maybe he was a bit upset.
I held my phone, watching the screen suddenly go black, standing in the midst of the vibrant and colorful street. Suddenly, I missed him so much. I stood in the middle of the road, seeing the greenery divided by passing vehicles, no longer green under the streetlights. The phoenix tree leaves turned into a dirty brown in the glow.
"Come over quickly, be careful of the vehicles," Lijuan grabbed me onto the sidewalk. "Are you okay? Let me tell you, you need to be smarter in the future, react faster, then you can block his moves. Actually, Mr. Song is not a bad person. He genuinely wants to help you. Sometimes, he just looks for some 'small advantages.'"
"Alright, I don't want to talk about this anymore. I want to say that I'll be going to Japan for a week on March 12th. During that time, don't schedule any work for me. I need round-trip tickets to Tokyo and a Japanese visa."
"You see, even before arranging a manager, you're already giving orders," Lijuan said, giving Dragon Brother a disapproving look.
"Okay, I need to check the company's schedule first." Dragon Brother didn't say much, unusually agreeing.
At night, I buried my head in the blanket, trying hard to forget what happened during dinner. The harder I tried to forget, in my drowsy sleep, the dim red lights in the restaurant seemed to still sway. Song Yaowen's face was under the light, gradually disappearing into the vanishing night. With the morning sunlight, XiXi's face became clear. When I wake up in the morning, I must give him a call. Once the album is released, and the appearances are over, I will definitely go to Japan to see his tour.
In preparation for the album and upcoming appearances, I haven't had a good night's sleep for many days, and Dragon Brother and Lijuan have been staying up with me. The album packaging is already in the hands of the company, and I've heard they've done a great job. However, the most crucial lead single is still incomplete, and honestly, I'm not entirely satisfied with the lyrics. After listening to the instrumental and vocal tracks of the song countless times, each time, I find myself breaking the tip of the pen I'm holding.
By the early hours of the third day, at 2:30 AM, Dragon Brother couldn't bear it anymore and insisted I take a break.
I sat on the sofa, opened my laptop, and watched XiXi's latest interview video. Seeing him sitting in front of the piano playing Chopin, I couldn't help but smile again. My eyes subtly glanced at Dragon Brother, Lijuan, and the other staff members who were all engrossed in the Digital Audio Workstation (DAW). I covered my mouth with both hands so they couldn't see my expression. Whether in daily life or during interviews, he remained as youthful as ever. Hosts often say he's cool, but in reality, he doesn't play to please. This is his authenticity, his silent and reserved demeanor. To me, it feels like his words are meant only for me. Thinking about this, I chuckled and then used my hands to cover my entire nose.
I saw him sitting at the piano, with three female hosts taking turns asking him questions. When they inquired about Chopin's music, he could eloquently discuss and delicately interpret Chopin's works. When asked if he liked pop music, he said he never listened to it. When asked about his favorite composers, he stated that Beethoven was great. Suddenly, a wave of sadness and frustration surged within me. We were never in the same world. He belonged to the classical and elegant realm, while I could only earn money in a cutthroat world for interest groups. Earning money! Is there something wrong with making money? Is making money the most important thing for a man?
I envied Ye Xi's talent. I tried to catch up with him, to become like him. But when he spoke about Beethoven, I realized I could never become him. Even so, the thought of him being vulnerable in my arms brought forth a wicked joy. In a way, we had become one. I could seize his soul through his body. However, I wondered when the Beethoven in his heart would materialize in reality, entering his life as a concrete person. Thinking about this ignited the flames of jealousy within me.
"Lijuan, I want to change this song, the lead single!" I suddenly exclaimed.
"You scared me, what's wrong with you?" Lijuan rolled her eyes at me.
"At this critical moment, you want to make changes?" Dragon Brother nearly roared.
"Quick, I've already thought of the lyrics. Let me write them myself. Let's record it now."
"What's it called? Make it fast."
" 'Love Rival Beethoven.' " I quickly walked over to Dragon Brother, snatching the pen from his hand. As I wrote those five characters on the notebook, I recited, "The detestable Ludwig! Friends, wake up and get to work!" Dragon Brother chuckled, signaling the recording teacher.
At three in the morning, I encountered Ludwig Beethoven, shaking my head and sighing. What am I in your world, after all?