Daisy was speechless after what I had just admitted. After a long pause and an unbearable amount of awkward silence, she finally said, "I am so sorry Neil. I didn't choose this life. I didn't commit myself to a monster because I wanted to. I committed to him because I thought it was my only option. I made him my only choice because I truly wanted to be happy. After all that I had gone through in life and all that I had faced to get here, I didn't want to give up just because a man threatened me to. I wish you were there to see me, Neil. If Anna hadn't opened the eyes that I had decided to blindside a long time ago, I would still be stuck in the toxic loop I had gotten myself stuck in. I envied her strength, which is probably why I was never good to her. When she offered some of her strength to me, I was in utter shock. I had been interpreting this whole situation in the wrong way. I saw my way out and I grabbed the opportunity presented to me. If I would have known I would have to face you again, I probably would have let myself die there. I wish I was different. I wish I wasn't such a loser. I wish I hadn't let him have this much control over me for so long. When I saw Sammy there, I immediately turned away. I could never act in front of her. I would break character and lose my life, or worse, cost hers. I let Anna choose her fate, knowing well enough that she will save her. When Lila showed up, she was my first client. The game master told me this was the way to prove myself. I begged him to not make me do this. I begged him to let me preserve my soul, but when I saw him lose hope in me, I was scared. In spite of my love-hate relationship with Lila, I had to treat her as if she were a stranger. I regret what I did to save myself. I am not proud of the person I have become. I hate myself. You say you love me so much Neil, well I don't love me. Every time I look at myself in the mirror, it makes me want to die. Every time I dress up to look the prettiest, the darkness in my soul takes away the beauty. That is probably why even after I showed up, the game master couldn't let go off Anna. Anna was still pure, gentle and divine. Her soul was intact for she had no one's blood on her hands. I have nightmares every day. I can hear them scream. They torture me still. I might have escaped death but death never left my side. He kept sending the souls he received my way to kill me on the inside. I am but a vessel. I am the game master's vessel. He used me when he wanted. I was not important to him. In the beginning, I believed he had fallen in love with me. I was so naïve. A man who has no soul knows nothing about love. I wish I could have stayed here with you. I don't even deserve your love anymore. I am sorry for all the silence I offered as soon as you expressed your feelings. No one had ever loved me before. You see, my family died a long time ago in a plane crash. I was left money in their wills. I grew up with my grand mother who died as well long before I came here. She despised me. She used me for my money. When I came here with all that I had left, I was so eager to make friends. The truth is I never knew friendships, relationships or any other form of love language. I knew I looked happy on the outside, but I was so lonely on the inside. When the game master chose me, I felt a speck of love moving towards me and I grabbed it. Now I realize, that wasn't love at all. I can't breathe Neil. This is the first time I have ever received true love and I don't even deserve it. I wish I could go back. All of the pain and anxiety is suffocating me. I am dying Neil. I know I have done a lot of bad things. I know I don't deserve your trust, or Henry's. I know Anna probably made a mistake bringing me here, but I have no where else to go. I will go back to him. I shouldn't have wasted your time. I have given you enough pain. Causing any more agony would destroy any heart I have left. Even though I dress white, I bleed black. I am but a corpse, waiting for its death. I am afraid of dying Neil. I am afraid I won't go to a better place. My parents won't be there. They will watch me from heaven as I suffer the wrath of my decisions. I am sorry to burst out on you like this. I don't intend to scare you away. I wish I had gotten to know you better. In another life, if you ever forgave me, I wish we end up together. I wish I spend a million lives begging for your forgiveness until I finally have it. Anna, I think we should go back. the game master probably needs me. it is quite late at night. I wouldn't want to upset him again. I need to be patient or else I will never get a chance to live life. Maybe one day, God forgives me and sends me his angels for rescue. Until then, I have to live with my decisions. I promise I won't kill anyone again. Good bye Neil. Forget about the Daisy you wish I was. She was killed. I murdered her."
Suddenly I found myself speaking, "you have it."
"I have what?" asked Daisy.
"My forgiveness, you have it. Please don't leave me again. I missed you so much. We have a lot to talk about. I have a plan."