Even though I was confident while reassuring Daisy about my approval for this foul plan, in my heart I knew I was all broken. The love of my life was about to marry someone else. How would I ever be able to cope with that. On top of that, she would be marrying a man who doesn't even half deserve her. It was all a taboo topic after that. Every time the group reunited to discuss the plan that would eventually commence, the word 'marriage' was never said out loud. Even though the topic was out of discussion, everyone could see the pain in Daisy's eyes. Every time I accidentally brushed against her shoulder or touched her hand, she would start tearing up. Maybe, she had fallen for me too. Maybe she really loved me but she knew there was nothing that could be done. Love was a concept too far away from me anyway. On the plus side, at least I could show my face to Sammy that I wasn't out here finishing my love story while she was being tortured behind the gates of hell.
Every time Sammy's face flashed before my eyes, I wondered if she were still breathing. I wondered if after all those heavy electric currents and shocks, would she still love me the same. Would she even remember the concept of love? Or would she just be another robot for the game master. I felt the overthinking take over once again.
Even though I knew Daisy would be a married woman soon, I couldn't help but appreciate her beauty to myself. I glared at those dimples every time they rewarded me with their rare presence. I watched her hair look pretty even while they were a mess. I watched her eyes glisten through the shield of sadness. I just wanted to hug her! I wanted to feel her against myself and I was really guilty for feeling so. I am a man and I should be a gentle one but the thought of her just made me want to come close. Sometimes I wondered if I could just run away from it all and take her with me. I felt myself betray every single one I knew every time I let this thought linger for far too long. I don't know what it was about Daisy but she had that effect on me, and apparently on the game master as well.
I think Daisy was the only thing that the gamemaster and I would ever have in common. She too would've agreed if I were to ask her, but the awkward silence and my lusty love towards her prevented me to do so. I wondered what she might be thinking. I wondered what her mind would be using to occupy itself. Was it me? was it the Game master? Please God don't let it be the game master.
Time went by too fast and it was just one day until the love of my life was married to a monster. I think this is how the people who lose their arms or legs in an accident must feel. They really want to lift something up or they really want to go pee but the situation surrounding them doesn't permit them too. Eventually they get used to it and find their way around it. Maybe one day, I will find my way around the fact that she is about to get married.
Aside from the ache of losing my love, I feared losing Daisy's life for the mission. The game master was an unpredictable man. One could never guess what he had in mind when it came to his mission. He would never prioritize Daisy. Moreover, he would never trust her the same way as he used to. Having seen her trying to figure out the mission, he wasn't immediately going to hand out every single detail about it to Daisy when they got married. She would have to win him over. It could take days or months. I hope it doesn't take longer than that. I pitied Daisy for having to face all of this to save people she didn't even know that well.
Anna and Henry could see the anguish in my heart. They could see me fight against every cell in my body to just kiss Daisy and ask her to stay. They could see me cry my heart out through the closed door every time my eyes met Daisy's. they could see me beg God to save the women so that I could save mine. They too were helpless like me.
Every time I watched their love brew, it made me jealous. I think they eventually figured it out. That is why they stopped being all touchy in front of me. Most nights when Anna and Daisy didn't return from that hell hole, Henry and I assumed the worst had happened. We feared that one day they would be secretly taken as well and we would be hopeless once again. Even the little amount of information we were getting would be stolen from us. Henry kept a distance from Anna so as to escape the pawns of our institute. If they were to figure out that Anna is the lady in black, our entire plan would come crashing down. As long as they were afraid of Anna and Daisy, we had nothing to worry about. Their identity had to remain a secret. I believe that the game master didn't want to reveal Anna or Daisy's identity as they were younger than him. he wouldn't want that tag to his relationships. He wouldn't want to be judged; he was too careful about everything.
I went to sleep knowing it was going to be a tough night. The next morning Daisy would be walking down the aisle and I wouldn't be the one waiting on the other end of it. I wouldn't be the one shedding a tear at the beauty of my bride. Everything would be lost.