Jimin's POV)
"Jungkook?... What are you doing here?...." I asked sleepily, waking up to a heavy baby pressed up against me, he looked up at me, his eyes teary already, "I was scared of sleeping alone....." he answered honestly, gently pulling me closer, "Hyung... I had a bad dream.... I'm scared...." I took his head in my arms and hugged him tightly to my chest, "Shhh... It's okey..." I said, carefully running my fingers threw his hair.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, but I understood that he was still my baby brother and that none of this is his fault, and he doesn't deserve to be treated like a monster for something that happened ****to**** him.
I could hear him sniffling, "Hyung... I was so scared.... I don't know what I'd ever do if I had to leave you.... I can't.... I love you so much..." My eyes widened, I completely froze, the blood gathered in my face as I blushed and heard his words, "I love you....." He repeated again, "I don't know what to do.... I can't even handle how much I love you, it's so overwhelming... I love you so much Hyung it actually hurts.. it feels like my heart is being ripped out whenever I see you around namjoon... It feels like I'd throw up every time someone touched you. It felt like I was invisible to you, because I was never good enough.... I don't know how to handle these emotions Hyung... It seems that everyday I just keep falling deeper and deeper in love with you....I really do love more then life...."
He said it. He really said it. He loves me? He does, doesn't he? Yes, he said so. So it must be true, he loves me more then life, and he actually said it.
"I love you too...." Is all I could mutter out as a wave of painful guilt swept over me, I didn't love him back, did I? It felt like my heart was ripped out when he died, it felt like I actually lost a part of myself. It felt like my life was over, but it felt the same as when my mum died. It was the same pain I felt when that damned doctor told me she's dead, just a thousand times worse.
I couldnt tell him that, he's been threw so much, I can't tell him that I only see him as my baby brother, that would be inhuman. What other choice do I have? I have to love him now....He'll die if I dont. he'd be destroyed.
So without any other option I gently took his head and lifted it to look at me, tears in my eyes as I couldn't even muster up the courage to say anything, it felt like such a relief to kiss him. But it didn't feel right, it felt so wrong, yet so right. It felt like it was meant to be, but I still couldn't love him the way he loves me. After all this I still couldn't even love him.
I held my breathe as I felt his cold hands touching my body, the more this goes on the worse he'd hurt at the end, I should tell him now. But I couldn't force myself to do it.
So I just let him touch and grope my body as he started passionately making out with me, it didn't feel gross, but it was still the same type of love I felt for my actual family. I just loved him a little more.
He suddenly pulled away from me, his breathe was hitched and he seemed to be unable to catch his breathe, "Do you wanna do it?" He asked suddenly, his voice was airy and clearly excited, yet also somewhat hesitant and scared.
At this point he was already nearly on top of me and his hands has already been all over my body, I stayed silent for a long while, just staring into his beautiful brown eyes, I tried several times to say something. But my voice wouldn't come out, he didn't change the whole way threw, he kept his face the same and it didn't wilt, nor did it get more excited. He just patiently waited for my answer.
I'm really not sure how I feel about it, I'm not in love with him, but I've wanted to have sex with him for years.
"I'm not sure if I'm ready yet...." I finally managed to say, not really sure how he'd react, seeing him smiling warmly and giving my nose a little boop with his own was typical. Absolutely fucking typical of him to giggle, saying, "Alright, I love you, I feel so happy, can I keep kissing you though?"
Fucking typical of the twinkle in his eyes to stay the same, typical of him to not be disappointed or mad at all. It's so fucking typical of him to be the literal definition of an amazing person that can't do a single thing wrong. I wish he could at least have sighed, or gave me a look of disapproval, anything. But no, he's perfectly fine, he's just looking at me with those pretty eyes that make me feel even worse about all this. If he could just be one percent less amazing I wouldn't be laying here feeling like the most disgusting person in the world.
I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him deeply, my fingers tangling threw his hair as I melted underneath his body.
I could hear soft moans coming from him, but he didn't try anything, he didn't even hump against me, he was clearly excited. But he respected my boundaries, and he only took what he had permission to take, and yet here I was stealing his heart and smashing it on the ground. Why did he think it was a good idea to fall in love with me? Why did he think he'd get anything from me? He should've sticked to loving Taehyung, he'd at least receive love back. But no, he choose the worst person to love. And now I'm a ticking time bomb before I explode and break his whole world apart.
Im a fucking monster, without even realizing what I was doing I slipped my hand into his shirt, I heard him gasp and for some reason pull away, "Hyung, don't touch me... Please, it- ahh~" he couldn't even finish his sentence, I guess he was a bit too overwhelmed.
I hugged him tightly and whispered sweet praises into his ear, he calmed down luckily but still didn't want me to touch him, "You said you weren't ready, hyungie. Let's wait, okay? There's no rush...." His voice was so contempt, so pretty and loving, he stared at me with eyes that made me feel like a monster, he seemed so happy.
"Okey...." I whispered, my eyes filling with guilty tears once again as I kissed him one last time before getting up, "let's get ready then, we can't be staying in bed all day."
(Jungkooks POV)
Why did jimin Hyung seem so emotional? This whole 'dying' thing must've really hit him hard, he seems to want to cry at every little thing I say. Dear god I love that man, hes my everything. I want I marry him, I want to give him everything he ever wants, I cant believe how long I've been wasting my life in fear he'd reject me, when at the end of the day he loved me just as much I love him.
I hugged Jimin tightly from the back as he was getting dressed, "I'm sorry for scaring you Hyung...." I said, noticing his eyes were teary again, I can't believe he loves me this much. Just looking at me makes him cry, I'd assume cause he's grateful I didn't die on him.
"I love you hyung... I really do, you have no idea..." I whispered to him, which only seemed to make him more emotional, I smiled softly knowing he loved me back. And that he's mine now, he loves me and no one else.
"I'm so sorry... I didn't protect you...." Jimin mumbled, basically having me carry him so he doesn't fall over, I quickly shushed him, I didn't want him to feel guilty.
"No, no Jimin Hyung you protected me.... It was the thought of being with you that made me come back... The thought of being without you was so scary I forced my way back from the underworld, just for you." The more I speak the more he got emotional, i wonder if it's because of me saying i came back for him, I hope so.
"I came back just for you... I wanted to marry you, I wanted to have a family with you... I didn't want to die before so could experience being loved by you... Do you love me? Do you want to marry me?... I want to marry you.... I want to marry you... I love you hyung, I can't believe it... I love you and I can say it openly... I can love you in the open... I don't have to hide anymore, hyung? I love you. I love you so much Hyung." It worked, the more I told him I loved him the more he got emotional, he's crying from happiness.
He's crying because he loves me, I hope it helps ease his mind hearing my words. I hope it makes him feel better knowing how much I love him, I hope it helps him not blame himself.
"I came back for you... I came back because I had to marry you before I died.