"How do you feel?.." Taehyung asked hesitantly and quietly while bathing me, I'm not exactly sure why I let him do this but it felt really nice feeling his warm hands rubbing against my skin.
After the whole ordeal I was covered in blood so now I'm sitting in a bathtub while my arch nemesis is cleaning me, AND IM ENJOYING IT.
"Mmm...." I was in a trance, a trance of warmth. Of course, all I could do was hum in delight as his soft fingers massaged my skelp while he washed my hair, my eyes were closed and I had a soft pink blush on my face along with a small, content smile.
"....." I could tell he was trying to say something, but he didn't so I opened my eyes to look at him, "Something to say?"
He nodded, but didn't say anything, I looked down, "Are you afraid of me too?..." I whispered, twiddling my fingers underneath the water, "I was always afraid of you.... I'm more... I'm more afraid of losing you now..."
Well that's believable ain't it?
"Of course... I'm a monster..." I mumbled, my eyes finally tearing up as I couldn't hold back anymore, "Hyung.... I'm so sorry... I didn't mean to I just- i didn't mean to hyung please don't be afraid of me." I begged, grabbed his hand, taking note of every single time he flinched from me.
He gasped in fright but soon calmed, letting me hold his hand while he gently cupped my cheeks which had some tears on them, "You're not a monster.... You're just-... Different."
"Different?.... That's the best you can come up with? Hyung... Hyungie...." My voice cracked, after everything that's happened it was hard not to break down. I literally died, then turned into a blood sucking monster all in the spam two days.
Taehyung pulled me into his chest and hugged me tightly, gently shushing me and telling me it'll be okey. It was hard to believe, but his voice was so soothing, his embrace was cold and uncomfortable due to the wetness of my body. But just feeling his heart beat against my face, it was amazing. I wanted more, I wanted him to hold me like this forever.
I'm not sure for how long I was crying onto his chest, but eventually I calmed down was now breathing heavily while pressing my face into his titties. His scent was so strong, I dont know why, but it felt like I could smell every inch of him and others. I felt like I knew exactly where someone's touched him in the last few days.
I can smell Hoseok on his arms as hands, I can smell Namjoon in his hair, I could even smell the dirt on his feet which he had already washed off. Jimin was all over him, his hands, his neck, his chest his lips. Everywhere.
It was almost overwhelming, no, it was overwhelming. I could smell the metal from the shovel he used to dig my grave, down to the ants that crawled on his legs.
I decided not to bring that up and just pulled away from the hug, coldly stating, "I can finish on my own." While looking away from him and refusing to look up from the bubbles in the water.
I could see at the corner of my eye that Taehyung smiled softly, "Okey..." He said, gently petting my hair before standing up and taking the razor and shaving blades from the sink and shower then leaving.
I sighed knowing he doesn't trust me, I slowly sunk down in the bathtub and submerged my head underwater. I always loved the sound, being underwater. It's slow, it's peaceful, it feels like the world paused just for me.
I opened my eyes slowly, looking up at the surface, seeing the bubbles make a cloud-like pattern. I expected my eyes to burn because of the soap and bubble bath in the water, but it didn't hurt at all. It was like I wasn't even underwater.
I looked at the bright yet now-dimmed light above me, imagining I'm in the ocean.
I hate the ocean.
It scares me.
But something about it seems so attractive, the thought of flouting helplessly in endless miles of empty waters, while looking up at the sky. Seeing the clouds and the sun shining from behind them. Looking at the pattern the water makes, just imagining it feels surreal. It feels euphoric.
I soon realized, I wasn't just imagining it?
I looked to the side of me, no longer seeing the side of the bathtub but now that exact endless waters I had just fantasized about, I started panicking briefly. Swinging to the other side, to the back of me. Trying anything to find the white tyle walls of the tub, but all I could see was dark blue waters.
And to make it worse I was sinking, fast.
I was now fully panicking, trying desperately to swim back up to the surface. Suddenly it didn't seem so attractive at all, it was horrifying. I could feel every bit of my body filling with the salt water, I could feel the air running out of my lungs and I could feel the water flooding my organs.
This is not what I wanted.
I was just imagining it.
It seemed so peaceful in my head.
I felt my body tiring and slowly loosing the ability to move, instead of rapidly kicking my legs and swinging my arms trying to get back to the surface, I was now tirelessly giving up. Accepting there was no way to get back up as I slowly drifted to what I thought would be death. Closing my eyes slowly and letting the last bit of oxygen I had in my body make a single bubble flouting to the surface.
I felt my body jerking up and out of the water, back in the hotel bathroom. Back in the white tyle tub of water.
I breathe heavily, I could feel the sensation of a rapid heartbeat, but it wasn't there. I pressed my hand onto my naked chest tightly, trying to find a heartbeat but just as Taehyung said there was none.
I could feel it though, like a memory. Like my brain acknowledges there's supposed to be one and is trying to mimic the feeling. I looked around, swinging my head from side to side trying to make sure I was actually back.
I was back.
The lights were blinding me, the water was ice cold and the previously abondance of bath bubbles were all gone. How long have I been under water for?
Did I fall asleep?
Did I somehow not drown?