"what d-do you mean you didn't inject anything into me? There's puncher marks in my neck." I tried my best not to stutter as my heart races in fear, my face still close to his and my breathe getting harder and harder to breathe in.
"Get off, Jungkook, open the lights, let me see." Taehyung managed to compose himself and pushed me off, I quickly went to the lights and opened them, the room illuminating in a bright white light that made my eyes water.
I grabbed him again and made him look at the marks on my neck, at this point I was trying not to hyperventilate, I could feel the panic attack coming.
"i-.... I didn't make these, can you remember anything that mightve caused it? Who was in your room tonight?" Taehyung's worried tone and expression made me even more scared, now I felt like I knew from the start that it wasn't Taehyung when I clearly remember blaming him two seconds ago.
I felt scared, more scared then I shouldve been.
"I-i-i had a f-fight with j-jimin.... I-.." my voice kept cracking to the point I couldn't even make out what I was trying to say, "I blacked...." I finally managed after repeatedly moving my mouth but no words came out.
Ultimately my breathe hitched and my head went dizzy again, my eyes watered and stained my cheeks wet. I was confused, I was worried about how I got these, but most of all I was scared of whoever made them.
If it wasnt Taehyung then anybody couldve injected me, and it could've ***been**** anything too.
"Calm down, calm down." Taehyung tried to tell after he realized the panic attack I was in, "Hyung... Hyungie i-... I can't.... Breathe...." I mumbled, the fact that the tears in my eyes clouded my surroundings making it near impossible to see made it even worse. I tried to reach for him but lost my balance and fell onto all fours, trying desperately to catch my breathe as small sobs left my throat.
"It.... It hurts.. hyung, hyungie.... Make it stop..." I fumbled around trying to grab him and felt his warm hands on my back making me flinch and yelp in surprise, i got a general idea of where he was and grabbed him.
At this point my eyes where blacked out completely, I couldn't see anything, nothing at all, my eyes where open but I couldn't see through them. Nor could I make coherent sentences or even words at some point, blurting out random words of desperation sometimes my voice cracking so much even those didn't make any sense.
"Hyungie... Hyungie help me, Taehyungie, Taehyungie I'm... I'm s-scared, i-i-i-i.... I can't... My eyes... They... I can't.... See... I can't see... Hyungie, make it stop...." I begged, my arms desperately clawing at his shoulders, I could hear him saying 'ow' multiple times as my desperate cries continued and he tried to calm me.
"Just breathe, ow- Jungkookie, I'm right here, I'll protect you, you know I will. I'll do anything I can to keep you safe, just breathe. Please, just- breathe in." he begged, his arms basically holding all my weight from collapsing. But he was right, at this rate if I didn't regulate my intake of air I'd pass out.
I did as he said and breathed in, "now breathe out." He went back and forth between 'breathe in' and 'breathe out', it eventually calmed me down and my eyes unfogged. I could see his face is worried and his eyes were watery, I collapsed onto his chest now breathing heavily, completely exhausted suddenly.
"See? It's okey, you're fine, nothing bad is going to happen..." I could hear the distress and uncertainty in his voice, usaully he speaks with confidence or annoyance. The unfamiliar tone of voice worried me but I didn't let myself overthink it and just cleared my head of all things accept one thing.
Jimin's smile.
I replayed multiple images and thoughts of different times Jimin has smiled at me, I replayed each and every smile I've ever seen him make all the way back to the first day we met. I remembered them all perfectly, I've thought of his smile every single time I've ever tried to end my life.
It was something I wanted to see.
It was the last thing i wanted to see as I left this horrendous excuse of a planet.
It was something i wanted to stay for.
No.
It was something that made me stay.
It was something that made me stop.
It made me stay.
I smiled softly looking through the millions of images going through my mind, I could hear his perfect laugh. I could hear his cute giggle when he teased me. I could see the blush he had whenever I complimented him.
That's when I finally realized how badly I've fucked up.
I fell in love with my own stepbrother.
I've fallen so hard for him.
I want to see him, I want to spend the rest of my life with him but.... But nothing. No. I love him, there's no buts. There's no in betweens. I loved him. More then I thought it was possible to love someone.
I slowly got up from Taehyung's embrace, he gave me a worried look as I stood up and started slowly and weakly making my way to the door.
He stayed quiet but I could feel his eyes following my every move while he followed me, I walked slowly, dreading each step I took. All I wanted was to fall down and crawl into a corner and hide, but I wanted to see my Jimin hyung. I needed to see my Jimin hyung.
I walked for easily an hour, going up and down the hotel rooms trying to find him, the same calm energy and slow walk the whole way through. As I made my way down the hallway his room was in I could hear nothing but my own loud heartbeat throbbing against my chest, and the sound of my footsteps as well as Taehyung whom I didn't even register behind me following me. I guess he was making sure I was okey, making sure I wouldnt hurt myself.
I slowly opened the door to Jimin's room and stumbled over and fell, my face was close to the floor as I could smell him everywhere. I crawled meekly towards the bed in the middle of the room, I could hear a soft gasp and some rustling.
"Who's there?" It's him.
It's him.
It's him.
It's him.
It really is.
He's right there.
I knew he'd be here, yet I still felt my heart flutter hearing his beautiful voice, "Jimin.... Jimin~" I mumbled, a weak and pathetic smile on my face as I continued crawling to him, "Did you find drugs again?" He asked immediately, "Are you drunk?" I could feel my heart pounding harder listening to his teasing giggles, I said his name one more time.
Then collapsed, the last thing I remembered hearing was Taehyungs worried calls of my name which faded slowly into complete nothingness.
Nothing at all.
Yet knowing the last thing that touched my body was the small fingers of the love of my life made me happy.
I was happy.
Like a burden was lifted off my chest.
My chest.
It feels light.
Too light.
Did it stop beating?
I can't tell...
I can't feel it....
My heart....
It stopped.....
Finally....
Finally....
Finally.....
But.....
My hyung...
I don't want to leave him.....
No.....
No I can't....
Make it beat....
It needs to beat.....
I can't leave him.....
Not now.....
Not ever.....
Make it beat again.....
Make it beat...
Make it beat.....
MAKE IT BEAT.