"Dazai, you must be aware of this new patient is really tough." His best friend Odasaku explained. After Chuuya died, Dazai didn't want to stay at that home anymore. That's why Odasaku offered him to stay with him until he feels better. Accepting this fact was too hard for Mieko as well. The head of the hospital, Mori, told him he could come back when he felt better. Dazai went back to work that day though despite Odasaku's rejections. He wanted to tell them even if millions of years passed this pain wouldn't go away. With Odasaku's voice, Dazai snapped out of his thoughts. "Most of the nurses complain about him. He beated one of the nurses because she forced him to take his medicines. He screamed for hours that he was not sick and he didn't need these medicines. The doctors could hardly calm him down. He fought with them while they were trying to sedate him." Odasaku let out a sigh and continued. "The doctors can't endure him more than a week because he is violent to them."
To Dazai, the logical thing to do was not accepting this patient's responsibility, but Dazai didn't do that. "I'm not like the other doctors and I won't give up on him," he said firmly.
"I hope..." Odasaku let out a sigh. "Look into his eyes once and he will suck your soul."
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Dazai was an expert about mental diseases. He had helped numerous serious cases to heal and brought them back to life. Some of his patients who had suicidal tendencies were really young and their parents were really grateful to him for bringing their children back to life. He would still get flowers and other gifts from these parents.
Chuuya always told him that he was in love with his kind heart.
Dazai pushed the memories back into his mind. It was not the right time for crying. He never surrendered to his emotions at work and he wasn't going to this time either.
Odasaku trusted Dazai about this patient. Dazai was determined and was serious about his job.
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Dazai was checking the files which Odasaku gave him while he was walking down the dim hall. While he was heading to the patient's room, one of the lights began flickering. Dazai flinched a little. Then he chuckled to himself lightly. He was a doctor. He had heard a lot of scary stories from his patients. He had seen a lot of things. Bruises, deep cutting scars, multiple burning scars and a lot of stories of people who had suicide attempts... A flickering light shouldn't have scared him.
The patient's name was Fyodor Dostoyevsky and he was diagnosed with dissociative identity disorder. Sometimes he was very evil. Sometimes he was very mean. Sometimes he was chill and cold. Sometimes he was childish. Sometimes he was really jealous. Sometimes he was a freak who liked to play with people. Sometimes he was really loving. Sometimes he was confused and lost like a little child. Sometimes he was crazy over someone. It was recorded that when he was "in love" with someone he wanted them for himself. Sometimes he wanted everyone dead. Sometimes he was really rude and wanted to hurt the people who hurt him and the people he loved. He even would make them suicidal without hesitation.
'This is his most dangerous personality without a doubt.' Dazai thought to himself.
He was brought to the mental ward after almost killing someone who hurt his sister. After the incident he had claimed that he didn't remember what he did, but he didn't try to hide the satisfied expression on his face. That was when his family was suspected something was seriously wrong with him.
'Of course.' Dazai thought to himself. 'Dissociative identity disorder can go unnoticed for years.'
The patient's picture caught on his eye. When you looked at his picture, you could never think he was a dangerous person, but Dazai knew that the appearances could be really deceptive very well. His eyes... His life were the most beautiful things he had ever seen in his life. After Chuuya's eyes... 'These eyes can be belong to an angel. In this case... To a fallen angel... To an angel who accidentally fell into the hell which is full of devils.'
'Get a grip on yourself!' He internally scolded himself. 'He is a dangerous patient!' Dazai felt his stomach sick while he was reading the file. He broke the ribs of the guy who harassed his sister and he had stayed in an intensive care unit because of severe cracks in his skull. Even if he recovered, he was never the same after the incident.
'This guy is a real demon.' Dazai thought to himself. 'He is really a devil in disguise.'
'Oh, really?' He heard another voice in his mind.
It was like his mind divided into two and had a war inside his head.
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After the minutes which felt like hours, he eventually reached the room where the patient was staying. Dazai could hear the faint laughter which was coming from inside.
'Look at his eyes once and he will suck your soul.'
Odasaku's voice echoed through his mind and he felt a cold shiver down his spine and his heart was beating like it was going to rip his chest. He didn't know why he was scared that much.
'Just do it. The earlier the better.' He encouraged himself and took a deep breath before unlocking the door.
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When he walked into the room, he saw the raven haired young man who was looking at the wall. Dazai couldn't see his face because his back was toward him. He was motionless except his shoulders went up and down while he was breathing. 'Typical dissociative identity disorder patient.' Dazai thought. A dissociative identity disorder patient could stare at something for hours without moving. "Fyodor." Dazai called out his name with a soft voice not to scare his patient.
Fyodor slowly turned around to look at Dazai. Dazai felt like he was in a horror movie in which Fyodor was the scary creature which was about to attack him and he was the idiot who was just standing there and was just looking at the creature instead of running away or doing something. 'There is never something beautiful in horror movies though.' Dazai thought. He couldn't help himself. He was eye to eye with Fyodor. His sharp, purple eyes were so deep and galactic that Dazai felt like they were sucking his soul.
'Look at his eyes once and he will suck your soul.'
Dazai got a grip on himself and looked at Fyodor properly. He couldn't deny the fact that Fyodor was a handsome young man. He looked both very innocent and very intimidating at the same time. His longish raven hair was messy and there was a smile on his face. It was far away from being a happy smile. It had something sinister hidden behind it. He was dressed into the hospital jacket which restrained both of his arms.
Dazai felt something inside him, but he couldn't understand what it was. Was it worry? Or was it sympathy? He couldn't put his finger on it.
"How do you feel?" Dazai eventually broke the unnerving silence.
Fyodor stood up and stared at Dazai for a while without talking. His sharp purple eyes were burning with anger. If he had such a talent, the flames from his eyes would turn Dazai into ashes. Dazai walked backwards. His back touched against the cold metal of the door. He was clutching the doorknob tightly in case something would happen. He didn't know why he was scared though. Fyodor was restrained by the jacket and it was not possible that he had a weapon. He stopped a few inches in front of Dazai. Dazai was sure that Fyodor could hear his heartbeats. "Why do you ask?" He eventually spoke.
Dazai's heart began beating faster and faster as Fyodor came closer and closer to him. He could feel Fyodor's warm breath against his skin and it sent chills down his spine. "First save yourself doctor." Fyodor whispered into his ear as if he knew everything even though it didn't seem possible.