When Nastasya, Fyodor's older sister, walked to the garden, she felt like she was struck by a lightning and she really wanted to throw up. She saw the blood all over on the green grass and on the pebbles. A lot of small insects and spiders were laying in a pool of their own blood, some of them were still alive, at the death's door.
The pale orange, golden yellow, crimson, candy pink and snow white roses which their mother treasured more than everything in the world, maybe even more than she treasured to her own family, were plucked, their petals were scattered all around the garden.
"Fyodor?" She called out her brother's name and swallowed the lump in her throat, holding the urge of throwing up. There was no reply from Fyodor though. "Fyodor?" She called out again. She could hear a faint laughter which was coming from a far. Was someone making them a cruel joke to them? She grab the first thing she could reach first. A thick piece of wood, ready to hit the culprit's head with it without mercy.
Then he saw the hair which was as black as her own hair. It was no one but Fyodor, her younger brother. He was burning a butterfly's wings and watched it die flying. "F-Fyodor?" She stuttered when she saw the poor creature's done to death body fell. She couldn't see his face, but she was sure that there was an evil grin on his face.
Fyodor didn't react as if she was calling someone else's name.
"Fyodor?" She was confused as she was walking closer to Fyodor. The thought of she was walking on some little creatures' bodies giving him chills of disgust. She slowly touched Fyodor's shoulder.
Fyodor slowly turned to him and at that moment, Nastasya knew something was wrong. The body belonged to Fyodor, but the eyes... These eyes were dark and empty like the pit of hell and they seemed like they were not belong to Fyodor at all.
Nastasya felt her heart almost stopped. Her eyes filled with tears. She felt the warm tears were running down her cheeks and nose as well. She then slowly started to walk toward her brother. With every step, her heart was beating faster and faster. She didn't understand. This must be a really vivid nightmare, right? Her brother couldn't have done something horrible, right? She didn't understand anything... What was going on?
She was so scared... Her heart started pounding even more than before as she locked eyes with her brother. All these things felt so real... Besides fear, a strange feeling was also there... Something was different with Fyodor now... Was this a nightmare? Was the person who was standing in front of her really her brother?
She didn't know what to do. Her mind was racing with thoughts and she was paralyzed with fear. 'What should I do? What should I say? Why is this happening?' This was so surreal... The whole world was spinning around her.
She was terrified. She was trying to figure out what was going on with her brother. Was this real? No, it must have been a nightmare... She snapped out of her thoughts when she heard the voice of her brother. It was like even his voice changed. His voice sounded darker...
Her eyes wide with terror, her mouth was open in shock, she could barely breathe. She was filled with panic so much that she couldn't understand what her brother was saying. She could see her lips were moving, but she couldn't make out what he was saying.
She couldn't believe that the scene in front of her was real. Fyodor, or whoever it was, was standing there, his hands in his pockets. There was a sinister smile on his face. "Well, this is a quite interesting scene, isn't it?" He asked.
Her instincts were telling her to run. Her brother had turned into a monster. She needed to run if she didn't want to end up like these poor creatures... The person who was standing in front of her was not her brother... He had his face, he was speaking with his voice, but he was not her brother. It was not the right time to dwell on this... If she didn't run immediately, she would definitely end up like these poor creatures...
'Run!'
'Get away from him!'
'Go and get some help!'
Her mind was racing with these thoughts.
Her body didn't obey her though. She was frozen in her place in fear. She could hear the crunching sounds of the leaves as her brother was walking to her, but she couldn't look at him. Because she was scared that she would see the bloodlust in his eyes if she had looked at him... She wanted to cry, but she couldn't.
The last thing she remember was her brother was approaching her before everything went dark.
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It was the first time Fyodor experienced something like this. When he came to his senses that day, he wanted to vomit because of the grotesque scene in front of him. He didn't remember what happened. His parents were looking at him with pure shock and disgust.
He tried to explain, but the words just didn't came out of his mouth. He was under shock. It was like his tongue was tied.
"Why did you do that Fyodor?" His mother asked eventually, after the unnerving minutes of silence.
Why? Why did he do something like that?
"I don't know..." Fyodor could barely said. Why did it have to happen to him? "I don't remember..." His voice was a bare whisper which was hardly audible.
"What do you mean with that?" She asked, demanding an answer. Her arms folded across her chest.
No matter how many times they asked, the answer was same. He had no memory, no recollection of his actions, or his feelings and thoughts when he did something that horrible. He had never experienced something like that before. It didn't seem like his parents believed him though...
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When Fyodor told about this experience to a doctor for the first time, the doctor looked at him with a look of pity.
Why was the doctor looking at him like that? What had happened? What was the reason for this?
"You have dissociative identity disorder..." The doctor eventually said after a few minutes of unnerving silence.
Fyodor didn't understand what the doctor meant, or even care. His mind was elsewhere, trying to find a way out of this hell.
Fyodor just wanted to go home.
He had been there for hours, tormented by the doctor's never-ending questions. He had answered the questions as best as he could, but he didn't remember the exact answers he gave. He had been too distracted with thinking about that certain incident. He just hoped that he wouldn't experience something like that ever again.
⊱ ───── {.⋅ ۵♡۵ ⋅.} ──── ⊰
Fyodor named him as 'Yami' which meant 'darkness, dark, or opaque.' Sometimes he would hear Yami's voice in his mind as he was sitting in his room... Dark, cold and chilling...
Yami would say the same thing over and over in Fyodor's ear in a faint whisper. 'Kill.'
Yami's voice was just a whisper, but it was the only sound he could hear. Fyodor was so close to the edge of being insane. No matter how hard he tried to ignore, Yami didn't stop.
Yami's voice was like a knife in his chest. His heart would beat so fast whenever he heard it.
It was something terrible... It was something horrible... He wanted Yami to shut up and he wanted it so badly that he could taste it, like blood, on his lips. The only knew he knew to be at peace once again was if he could make Yami quiet. He wanted to scream, yell and shout at Yami to make him shut his mouth. If only he had the guts to do so...