Lily
I'd like to think of myself as more of a peacemaker. I could be a mean girl, I'm hot and smart, but that's not the key. My mom would always say to me, "A woman's mind should be the most beautiful and powerful part of her.", that is before I knew I had some power.
Not quite literally. I just don't like to call my sex appeal, powerful. It might sound cheesy and inauthentic but worry not, I come in peace. Plus my mom is a bit of an Asian stereotype.
Ashland is the kind of school where you either fit in, or you just don't. No in-between. If not? Get in where you fit in. I just so happen to be somewhere in the middle without trying.
My boyfriend Craig is quite popular around the area, but I try to be low-key. I keep the student council in check and I help him and his band. Good enough.
I'm a senior here at Ashland High. I never moved here randomly, or anything crazy. I always have been in the district. I have a pretty great reputation, two amazing friends, and the absolute best boyfriend. I've just been missing something recently, and it was until I today that I found it.
Penelope.
I can tell she's different in some kind of way. I just need to figure it out for sure without creeping her out. My friend Dani and I talk endlessly about how we want someone new and cool to come to our school. Someone different.
Now I just have a big problem. Penelope and Beckett. I certainly am not interested in the kid, but Stella is. Stella is my other close friend. Not so much as Dani, but she introduced her and me last summer and it's worked fine since.
I sort of is trying to keep friendships to a minimum, only because I'm graduating this year. Seems pointless to meet new people for no specific reason. Penelope is different though. She seems nice, plus we could help each other. I just don't think I can trust Stella.
Lately, she's been on about being top in her class and that she wants to somehow get on the dance team. She's also, scarily obsessed with Beck and always says she wants something like he and his ex had. Whatever that means. Looney, I know. I hardly even understand it myself.
Nevertheless, I love my friends. Most of all, my boyfriend. Craig. He's the best thing about Ashland. He's a lot more of a social butterfly than I am. It's something, just watching him work the room. He's moving, in my eyes.
Unfortunately, that also makes him out of my league. Not in a social bar way, but, he's just too good to be true. But for a year and a couple of months, I would hope I'm all he ever needed.
I want to leave Oregon whenever I graduate. So does Craig. I don't know where or how, but we will. It's kind of like an unspoken pact. I love him. I can't be apart from him. I think I would wither away.
_____
I made my way into the girl's locker room to find Dani and Stella, getting ready for class. I walk towards them and set my things down, beginning to get ready also.
"So, ladies, I think I found something for us to do for the rest of the year." I smile, unbuttoning my shirt as I talk to them.
"If it's something about you and Craig, it can wait," Dani says, laughing.
I roll my eyes, "No. It's actually about the new girl in my class. Her name is Penelope." I smile, affirmatively.
"Okay, so what is this Penelope offering, Lily," Stella says, sounding seemingly uninterested.
I ignore her and continue, looking at Dani, "I met her earlier in class. She seems sweet. That's not it though. Something is just.. different about her." I smile.
They each look at me as if they were waiting for a pickup line.
I roll my eyes, "I think she might be cool to hang out with.. yanno? We're always looking for someone new to hang around." I shrug, smiling.
Dani fixes her shirt, laughing, "Okay, relax, we're not the welcoming committee. Why can't you talk to her yourself?"
"I just think it might be friendly if we all do," I say, biting my lip. They continue to look at me blankly.
I sigh. "Fine, I will," I say.
Dani put her things in her bag and then in her locker and turned around to continue. "If you think she might have potential, let's meet her. Right, Stella?" she then turned to look at Stella.
Stella continued to not make eye contact, getting dressed still. "No. Let's not," she said, tying her shoes. She then stood up and finally looked at us, "How do you know she's not some weirdo, Lil? I won't buy it until I see her." she shrugged, putting her things away before walking off to the gym.
I look back at Dani. "Come on, please have my back?" I say, hopefully. She tightened one corner of her lips before shrugging, "Sorry Lil. Stella might be right. We don't even know anything about her." she said softly, walking away.
Typical Danielle. Ever since she met Stella she follows her. Maybe that's what I get for befriending a couple of juniors.
I could be friends with seniors, but most of them are weird. They're so caught up in the life of the valley, they forget to be human. Except for Craig and Beck. Which seems like the only ones I have left to get to Penelope.
Craig and Beck have been friends for much longer than I've known them. Honestly, at this point, I should just let Beck flirt with Penelope all he wants. It's not like Stella cares about anything I have going on. She's sort of been kind of horrible ever since what happened to her last year.
When she was a sophomore. I knew of her, but she didn't have many friends. She talked to people, but it was all very much acquaintance-like. She was new. Lunchtime had come around and I decided to sit with Craig. We had kind of just started dating. Beck and Dani were also there. They started talking about some projects Dani had.
I remember Stella came in with her tray, full of food. It was meatball day. Not my favorite, as I don't eat meat, but it certainly was popular. Enough for Craig to make me give him mine too since I pack a lunch.
I never knew why, but Stella had been a target for some of the more well-known girls in our school. They usually go for the newer, more vulnerable ones. One of the girls had put one of the meatball subs on the seat that Stella had decided to take when they invited her over. It was downhill from then on.
I can see how she would be so upset since then, but it doesn't make sense. A lot of people think she's cool, shockingly. And she's quite the talk of the school with boys. I've heard a few things that I would never tell her I knew. Perks of being the girlfriend of someone like Craig.
After the gym, we went to lunch. Sitting in the normal spot that we do, right under a tree. I watched from afar after I saw Penelope. Beck had been wanting to talk to her all day and he finally was.
"You sure are into Beck and that one girl," Craig said with a soft chuckle. I smiled a bit, looking at him. "Well not to be a creep, but I really wanna be friends with her," I say.
"So talk to her," he said, placing a hand on my waist, gently. I nod, making a hand gesture, "I know, but people don't like that, Craig. It's... weird." I laugh softly.
He smiles, "Weird, maybe. But you did it to me. Look where we are." he leaned in to kiss me. I grin, going to kiss back before an excited Beck plopped down across from us.
"Well, looks like I bagged her," he said, brushing his shoulders off. I roll my eyes.
"Just because a girl smiles at you a little bit, doesn't mean anything Beck," I smirk.
He ran a hand through his hair and shook his head. "Whatever. You guys are happy and in love. Not afraid to be annoying. Always making out. So what, I want that. That so bad?" he said, setting his hands on the table.
His point had been made. He and this girl he was seeing had broken up a couple of months ago. Heather. She graduated last year and moved to New York. They dated for a short period, but she was clingy. Then one day, she just wasn't.
"Okay, fair. What's the damage?" Craig said, softly smiling, patting Beck's arm lightly.
Beck sighed, "I don't know, she just took my number." he started to laugh softly, making Craig laugh also. I smile, watching them, zoning off as I look at Penelope again.
Maybe Craig is right. I could just ask her to hang out. Make it not so weird. I guess it's only weird if you make it that way. Something I seem to do quite often.
It's fine. I'll just be chill, and ask her after classes are ending. Maybe hang out after school. That seems as simple as it could get.
"Why don't we see if she wants to hang out after class Craig? We only have two more anyways." I place a hand on his.
He nods, "Whatever you want. I have my dad's car for the rest of the day."
Back cleared his throat, raising his brows.
"You gave her your number, you won already." I scoff, also laughing. He raised his hands, in defeat, laughing back.
"I'll let you go for it. Let's not overwhelm the girl. I also have practice." he slightly frowned.
I nodded slowly. "That's fine. Yeah, I'll ask her maybe to meet up with us later." I say.
I look over again looking for Penelope, only to find she was gone. Not long after, the bell alerted us to end our meals.
Gathering my things, I exited the lunch yard, soon departing with the guys. Making my way down the hall, I coincidentally saw just who I was looking for.
Penelope was fidgeting with her locker, clearly struggling to open it. Just the opportunity.
I made my way over, preppy and welcoming. I bang my fist on her locker, making it slowly open. She looked at me and laughed softly, "Wow, thanks a lot. That was way more simple than I made it." she said.
I smile, "No problem. Y'know the school is so old, I've just chalked it up to the cheap school board here." I wave a hand, trying to keep the conversation light-hearted. She continued to laugh more.
"Well, it's cool of you to help." She started to take some things out of her locker. I bite half of my bottom lip before speaking again, "Hey, so, I wanted to say, I saw you with Beck. At lunch?"
She stopped in her movement, "Oh god, he's not like your boyfriend or something, is he?" she said, sounding anxious.
"Ew, no. That's disturbing." I say as I scrunch my face. "No, I just wanted to say, he's a sweet guy. He and my boyfriend are friends. Which is why I thought maybe you might wanna hang out with us later?" I clutch my books and belongings close to my chest, "Craig, my boyfriend, mostly is at home alone. So we go over and hang out." I nod, assuringly.
She smiled, nodding, "Yeah, that sounds great. Beck gave me his number." she raised her hand, showing a number in ink on her palm. I laugh to myself, shaking my head. He's quite a loser.
"Wow, can't wait to make fun of him for that," I say, giggling. She got a bit red, rubbing her arms.
"Well look, I won't force you. Just let us know?" I ask before smiling and walking away.
Now we wait.
_____
After class, I rushed to meet up with Stella and Dani, as we were going to meet and walk to Lirios. Lirios is just a vintage store. Dani's mom has been working there since she was a baby.
We get to hang out in there and look at different things. It's pretty cool. I just am dying to buy some things. It's just that Rochelle never lets us. At least not when I'm with Stella and Dani.
Today, I decided I'm gonna give it the good ole college try, and ask Rochelle while the girls aren't in the room. Maybe the response with being different.
When he had gotten to Lirios, Stella had been on a tangent about gaining power, the whole walk there.
"All I'm saying is, it's possibly useful to talk to that girl and get involved. I want to be on the dance squad. Some kind of popularity is better than none. I need her for that." she says as we walk into the store.
"Stella, it's not gonna work that way. You can't just use people like that. Not with that intention." I say, shaking my head in frustration.
"Rochelle. How about you tell us? I wanna be hotter. In control. I know the dance squad can give me that, why is that so bad?" Stella says, starting to sound upset.
Rochelle turns around, dusting things off. "Well Stella, you should never go about it that way. It just doesn't end well. It never has. Never will." she said, huffing in confidence.
Stella looked annoyed, looking away. "I'm sure I could make it what I want if I just tried.." she said quietly.
"Look," Rochelle said, sighing as she places a hand on the counter. "You girls need to be mindful. Nothing good ever comes out of being a mean girl." she closed her eyes, momentarily before speaking again, "Trust me. I know firsthand."
"What do you mean you know first hand?" Dani says, crossing her arms as she looked at her.
"Nothing." Rochelle came from behind the counter, dusting more. "Why don't you guys go to the back and relax."
I looked around for a moment, "I'm gonna use the bathroom first.
"We'll be in the back," Dani says, Stella following her to the back room.
I wait for a moment, making sure they were all the way out before quickly walking over to Rochelle, whispering, "Please Rochelle. I just want to buy one little thing." I say, eager for an answer.
She sighs, looking at the back room before quickly a couple of books and other materials, shoving them into my bag, and laughing quietly.
"Do not show them," she said, grabbing my shoulders. I nod, slowly before she sent me to the back.
Keeping it together, I sit in one of the beanbags, setting my things down.
All of this has made me wonder if I should be worried about Stella in a more serious way now. I mean she's a little unhinged, but not like I just saw her. The way she snapped about that stupid squad.
It makes me wonder if she's done other things for something like this.
If I've learned anything from Stella, it's when she's angry, you will never live it down. She'll practically hate you forever. It's scary.
It makes me wonder what she would be capable of if she had some sort of authority. I don't imagine it would be anything positive.
I know that people like her have built up animosity. That's okay. It's life. It's just what you do with it that matters. I just imagine that she would resort to something violent. No hesitation.
I can't keep thinking I can fix people. That's all I've ever done.
I just can't help but see the potential.