"All right; let me check your affinity level before we test your magic prowess."
As my father checks me out as if I were a hot chick from a bar, I seem to notice a girl, no, a woman, staring at me from a distance.
"As expected, you have the electric affinity, but by luck, you have the natural affinity too!"
Is that lucky? To have two affinities?
"Yes, you have two because of me! The Great Aza-"
Shut up.
"So mean! But anyways, it's rather lucky to get two or more affinities. But you should use my gift to you!"
What gift? May I like to return it if it was from you?
"Ugh, the Factor I gifted upon thee?" Did you even pay attention to me?"
I heard everything else but the last part, Miss Chunni.
"Well, the Factor power I gave you is rather formidable. If you know how to use it well! It's called-"
As soon as she was about to tell me, a look of confusion overwhelmed the family's faces as if they'd seen a ghost. They are looking behind me— is it that lady I saw from afar?
"What? Is there someone behind me?"
"Ara~ Azathoth, you picked such a cutie~."
Oh no! A big oppai! And she gives off loving mother vibes— my head is smushed under her soft, warm chest bags!
"Help! Wait, don't help. This feels amazing!"
"H-Hey, get off him, you pervert!" Sister grabs my arm and pulls me away from heaven. Why did she sound jealous of that? She also has a good figure— NOT MY SISTER; I CAN'T SEXUALIZE HER.
"He's mine, so piss off!" She looks angry, but she's also flustered. This is getting weirdly in the wrong direction of our relationship. The incestuous route—that's interesting.
"Ara~ I wanted to greet him since he seems special~" Gaia seems to hold a book and quill as she looks at me with eyes that tell me she wants me in bed. I mean, I could... But I barely know her; I'd still hit Smash, though.
"How is he special? I'd like to know myself." Dad holds his right hand on his sword handle, which rests on his scabbard on the left. Ready to strike at any moment.
"I won't be in your hair for too long. But here's a contract Polyphormes; let us be great friends~" Dang, this lady is good at charms. She hands me a wordy contract with an inked quill. Wait, how does she know my name? Is she an esper?
"No, she's just a Goddess interested in you."
Azathoth, do you know her by chance?
"Yes, she's the Goddess of this earth, Gaia. She has a liking for otherworldly beings such as me. So she tends to be very touchy. Dang, her though, I swear she had breast implants possibly."
It feels natural to me, unlike you and your padding needs.
"Fuck you."
I would say go ahead, but it's from you, and I wouldn't like to lose my virginity to someone like you.
"Me neither, bye."
Just being around her makes me go nuts. But that's Gaia, huh? Let's read the paper.
"Son, this paper is blank; why are you reading it?"
Either father is blind or dumb, perhaps both.
"Oh, I made it so only he can read it~," Gaia says sharply.
"I deeply apologize, Father, for my false accusations against you!"
"Eh? What for, son?"
Anyway: It says here that if I accept this contract from Gaia, I must protect the earth from extraterrestrial beings; in exchange for Gaia's Factor.
"Wait, wait, wait, you're cheating on me!"
Who the hell said we were dating?
"Not like that stupid; I mean, you want to get another Goddess Factor? That's cheating on me! The Great Azathoth!"
If I could have a different God or Goddess, it'd be anyone but you.
"Kill yourself."
It would be a pleasure to escape from you, but I enjoy living.
"Hmph, do whatever you like, you pimp."
Yeah, whatever you like, Chuuni Tsundere.
I sign the contract, despite the family's attempts to stop me.
"Why are you signing a contract with some random, perverted lady?"
Mother seemed concerned— well, they all looked anxious. But they don't know she's a Goddess, so that's to be expected.
I handed the contract over to Gaia. I signed this contract to grow stronger, to find my Lisa, to protect my reborn family, and to have a more useful Goddess than Chuuni Azathoth. At least this one acts and dresses ordinarily. Even though Gaia is wearing only leaves around her body, it is very arousing to look at her.
"Well done, boy~ I appreciate your signing this contract~ I will call upon you whenever you're needed. But first."
Gaia walks up to me and kisses my forehead. Her lips feel soft and moist. But after she does this, I feel a sensation coursing through my veins. Now begins the question: What Factor did Gaia give me?