Legend Three
The shadow thief of Klamidya
Or
(This musk addicted cat boy won't leave me alone!)
And just like that the pair had become a trio. With the demon now in tow the party continued its journey north. Luckily this time there were no incidents in the woods as Layla urged Barric to keep a little closer to the roads. Soon enough they approached the first real stop of their journey. The riverside city of Klamidya.
Klamidya was the most northern city in the kingdom of Ol' Tameria, their last stop before leaving the kingdom entirely.
The party would stroll into town about mid day, just in time for lunch.
"I just still cannot believe you spent all our money at that inn." Layla went on, as she had been giving Barric a scolding for the last hour.
"I am their king, was I supposed to tell them no? It was a party they will never forget!" Barric replied as they made their way into town.
"Saying no is what kings do best!" Layla snapped back.
"Look…" Sylas said, interrupting the pair's bickering.
Soon enough they would notice just what he was talking about.
Everyone in the city was missing an essential part of clothing. They were either without shoes, trousers, or shirt, the women missing entire skirts, or dresses, leaving them in not but their undergarments.
This wasn't just a regular old village or poor town where seeing peasets with missing clothes wasn't unusual. Living in this particular city wasn't cheap.
"Well that's odd…" Layla began as Sylas spoke up.
"The missing garments? So it isn't a strange human custom?" He asked.
"Humans love to toss their clothes off, but not in the streets like this sadly, though I could get used to it." Barric said, grinning at a woman in only her undergarments.
The woman was too busy covering her daughter's eyes with one hand and looking on in disgust to notice Barric. There was a man striding straight down the street, whistling and looking quite merry. Though it seemed that his pants and undergarments had been stolen as well, leaving his old, wrinkled, member flopping about In the midday sun, in front of the gods and everybody.
Barric and Layla looked on in disgust as Sylas remained stoic faced, simply raising an eyebrow.
Before any of the group could speak a voice rang out from a nearby window.
"BY THE GODS ED, YOUR UNDERS WERE STOLEN, NOT YER TROUSERS!
PUT SOME FUCKIN PANTS ON!" The voice yelled.
The exposed man looked about.
"OW BOUT YOU MIND YER FUCKIN BUSINESS DON!" He yelled back.
The woman covering her daughter's eyes had already pulled her away from the shameless scene.
Layla sighed, already knowing some further ridiculousness would soon be afoot.
"I guess we should go speak with the duke, and find out what this is all about then."
She suggested.
"Right, but there's no rush," Barric said, still looking about at all the half dressed women.
"Do human male genitals usually sag like that?" Sylas asked, as the group moved through the city towards the duke's hall.
After a long walk, and Layla doing her best to keep Barric on track they had arrived in the duke's hall. Even the guards at the front gate were missing articles of clothing.
The group made their way through the hall headed straight for the duke's throne. Barric now led as they approached the older man who sat upon the throne.
He was speaking with an advisor who he quickly shooed away as the trio approached. With the advisor out of the way Barric would immediately notice the duke had only one eye. The other socket was nothing but twisted old flesh. Clearly he had an eyepatch that had been stolen.
"I am Barric Ironstorm, now King of Ol' Tameria." He announced to the room and the duke, to Justify not having an appointment of course.
"My companions and I were passing through your city on our travels and couldn't help but notice something odd." Barric said to the old man.
The duke nodded.
"It is an honor to finally meet you my sire. I am Duke E. Rection, and yes, there have been some odd happenings as of late. A Very strange thief plagues our town. It would appear they only steal articles of clothing." The duke explained. "And I do apologize for my appearance as of late. I know my wound isn't the most captivating thing about me." The duke said.
"Yes, It does look like a burn victim's asshole." Barric said.
Layla made a face, looking towards him now.
"Like you were skull fucked with a corkscrew." Barric went on.
Layla elbowed him in the shoulder hard after that one.
"Yes I know, it's quite disgusting." The duke said.
Layla raised an eyebrow.
"This thief of ours already has quite the bounty on their head, I'm sure they should be captured soon enough." The duke said.
Layla kicked Barric's ankle at the mention of a bounty.
"Sis, chill." He said to her in a low voice before addressing the duke again.
"A high bounty does render swifter justice. Though my companions and I may just take care of this thief ourselves." Barric said.
The Duke lifted a curious eyebrow over his disgusting socket.
"Sire, I feel that chasing down a common thief is far below your pedigree. Would you not be more interested in staying in my hall while you rest for your travels?" The duke asked.
"It's a kind offer, Duke E., but I'm a man of action, I much rather be out in the city than sitting about. Besides, hunting a thief seems like an easy enough activity while exploring your grand city." Barric assured him.
The duke paused for a moment, looking about the trio with a raised eyebrow.
"As you wish my sire. One of my servants will make sure you are housed at the finest inn in the city." The duke said.
Barric nodded.
"Then we will be off at once, good day Duke." Barric said, immediately turning around to leave. Layla quickly followed, though Sylas stood there for a moment, staring into the duke's one good eye. The duke stared back, betraying no emotion as he met the demon's gaze. After a moment, Sylas turned to leave as the duke kept his good eye on him.
The duke waved for a servant. A tired looking young man approached him from the side.
"Yes my lord?"
"Send word to the Cobblerun inn the King will be staying there, give him a pendant pass… and keep an eye on them." He ordered him.
"Yes my lord." The young man nodded before taking off hastily.
The duke leaned back in his throne watching the group leave, deep in thought.
Soon enough the servant had caught up with the group and directed them through the city to the Cobblerun inn. He would give Barric the pedant pass.
"My lord wanted me to give you this sire. It's a pendant we give to our royal visitors. If you show it to any merchant, innkeeper, restaurant, or brothel, you will receive all services free of charge." The servant explained.
"Is that right?" Barric asked, looking down at the pendant.
"I'll make sure to make good use of it." He assured the servant with a sly grin.
Layla sighed, already preparing herself for her brother's shenanigans.
"Thank you again, you may return to your lord now." Barric told the servant.
The young man thanked them once again and took his leave.
"Well, let's get to it then! The sooner the better." Barric said, almost too eagerly.
"Don't you mean…" Layla began but was soon interrupted by Barric.
"Let's fucking gooooooo. Yes!" He assured her in a singsong voice, pointing at the door and already making his way to it.
"Nothing better to do, is there." Sylas said, following along.
"There is actually, that's why I'm suspicious." Layla said so only Sylas could hear. He would raise an eyebrow as Layla stepped past him to follow Barric close.
The party would leave the inn almost just as soon as they had arrived.
Barric seemed a little too excited to begin the search, Layla keeping an eye on him while Sylas kept his eyes out for his own quarry.
Their first stop was the largest tavern in the city. It was quite crowded with attractive patrons all missing a crucial piece of clothing.
Barric could feel the air was thick with body heat, sweat, and sexual tension.
Layla and Sylas would scout through the tavern on the lookout for any shady characters. Though this was probably easier for Layla since Sylas continued to ask her what a person who steals clothes would look like. Layla would have to do her best to describe a shady person to Sylas without pointing out that he himself fit all the criteria.
While Layla was questioning people about all the latest going ons and Sylas was busy assuring everyone that he attempted to talk to, that he was in fact a real demon and that he was not there to enslave them, Barric had already gotten distracted.
Layla would soon find one of the patrons she was trying to question, attempting to recruit her for a wet blouse tournament. She raised an eyebrow before immediately turning around to scan the room for Barric, quickly, and easily finding him since he was standing on the bar with three other women.
All the men in the tavern cheered as Barric poured huge pitchers of water on each woman.
First was an elf woman with flowing blond hair and impressively perky breasts, though not the largest.
Second was a much older human woman. She was the owner of the tavern and only agreed to let them have the tournament If she could participate as well. Barric reluctantly poured the pitcher on her.
The tavern cried out in what the old women thought were cheers of merriment, though they were actually gasps of horror and disgust at the visage of the old woman's sagging, flat, bosom.
One of the tavern's patrons, a dwarf, bent over to immediately vomit straight back into his pitcher of mead before falling over and spilling it all over himself.
"By the gods!" Barric cried out. "I wish I had two more hands, so I could give those tits four thumbs down!" He proclaimed, as the older woman grinned and struck a pose.
"I still got it!" She said with utmost confidence.
Finally it was the third participant's turn.
Barric was actually looking forward to this one. A short, curvy goblin woman with an astounding bust, and crooked fanged smile.
He poured the pitcher to reveal her bust to the entire tavern which immediately burst into a roaring cheer.
"I think we have a champion!" Barric yelled, raising the goblin's hand in the air.
Though the victory of the moment was short lived as Layla grabbed him by his ear to nearly drag him out of the tavern.
"We are trying to keep a low profile while we search for this perv, and you're over here exposing old lady tits to everyone!" Layla scolded him.
"That was the most fun she had in a long time! And I was making a distraction for y'all! If people are having fun they are more relaxed." Barric explained.
"Good point," Sylas said.
"Now we have to start again somewhere else that isn't distracted by goblin tits!" Layla complained.
"I think I know just the place actually, I saw it on the way in town!" Barric informed them, taking the lead.
Layla raised an eyebrow at his initiative, though keeping his suspicions as they followed the king.
Soon enough Layla and Sylas would find themselves sitting in a parlor having tea with a table of whores while Barric was missing once again. Layla rubbed the bridge of her nose thinking about how she was convinced to come here while Sylas listened to the life story of a tiny fairy whore.
"If someone steals clothes they are obviously the kind of super freak that would frequent the brothel!" Barric had claimed just before they stepped in.
It made sense to Layla at the moment, but once again it was clear to her that she had fallen for another one of his ploys.
"But yea, I'm still a virgin because all of my clients are too large. I hope to find the fae man of my dreams on day, but in the meantime nearly drowning in cum everyday for a few gold isn't too bad," The fairy explained.
"I know just what you mean… The virgin part that is." Sylas assured her.
Though their conversation was soon interrupted by the loud moaning and screaming from one of the closer rooms.
"Yes my lord! Knight me with your long sword!" A woman moaned out.
"You must defeat the dragon before you can become a knight in my land!" Barric's voice responded.
"My lord, you are far larger than any dragon!" She replied.
"Bitch what? Do you have any idea how big an actual dragon is?" Barric asked her.
Layla let her long usual sigh, while Sylas raised an eyebrow.
"Is that your friend?" The fairy asked the pair.
"He's my brother actually." Layla informed her.
"Really? I thought you were lovers." The fairy replied.
"W-what? What would give you that idea?" Laylas asked, her face turning red.
"The way you walk close to him, the way you look at him." The fairy pointed out.
"Ah, very true." Sylas chimed in.
"Do not encourage this!" Layla yelled at Sylas.
"Are you really implying my dick is larger than a dragon's? I welcome the compliment, but I don't think you really fathom the sheer size of a fully mature male southern twist horn dragon." Barric said.
"My lord, I'm sure you could out fuck any dragon in all the lands!" The woman moaned.
"By what measure? The stamina and pure muscle of a dragon is near immeasurable!" Barric continued.
"But yea, I hope you all catch that pesky thief… Though the lack of clothes has been good for business." The fairy said.
"Thank you again for your help." Layla told her. "WE WILL BE GOING NOW." She yelled loud enough for the entire brothel to hear.
"That you Layla? Give me just a moment, I'm trying to finish, but this woman has never seen a southern twist horn! Can you believe that?" Barric yelled out.
Layla grit her teeth and pounded her fist on the table.
A bit later, after the pair waited out front of the brothel for Barric to finish they would have to practically drag him away from the building as he continued to describe the unreal size of the fully mature southern male twist horn dragon to the uneducated prostitute. She would wave to him like a distraught lover.
"Surely the beast could never compare to you my lord!" She would say, only befuddling Barric further as he went on with his rant.
As the day was starting to wind down to its end and the trio walked through town Baric would make another suggestion.
"Perhaps we should visit the bathhouse after such an eventful day!" He said, in a strange way as if he were trying to sound casual. Layla was instantly suspicious of this, but if he had ulterior motives, she didn't care at this point.
"Actually… that sounds like a great idea." She said, just wanting to relax after putting up with Barric's antics for the day.
"I've never been in a human bathhouse." Sylas admitted, intrigued.
"Well let's fucking go then!" Barric encouraged, and so they were off to their third destination for the day.
After stopping to ask for directions and keeping Barric moving past some topless women, they were able to find the local bathhouse. To Barric's excitement it was a mixed gender establishment. Soon enough the trio was relaxing in the hot water together just watching as the other patrons would come and go. The bath house wasn't quite as exciting as Barric had imagined. It was mostly older men and women, some kids running around, and a suspicious stray dog.
At least the water was hot and he was in good company.
"So…" Layla started. "Did you really think we would find any leads here or did you just want to come here because you thought there would be nude women?"
Layla asked.
"Well I-" Barric started to reply but was interrupted by Sylas.
"Seemed like a good idea. Wouldn't a building full of loose clothes be an obvious target for a clothing thief?" Sylas pointed out.
"Yes! Exactly my reason." Barric said, though Layla seemed skeptical.
"I'm sure all the casual nudity had nothing to do with it." Layla commented.
"No, It definitely did." Barric assured her.
As the trio relaxed and spoke about the day, an odd figure wandered into the bathhouse. A suspicious cloaked figure lurked behind them, not too far away, skulking about the shelves where all the clothes sat.
"Layla did I ever tell you what those freaks in Sqwuck call a bread and beef ensemble with cheese?" Barric asked, grinning.
Layla sighed as Sylas waited quite interested.
"What?" Layla asked, unenthusiastically.
"A salad, those fucking idiots." Barric said, before letting out a hearty laugh.
Sylas raised an eyebrow as Layla stared for a moment before bursting out in laughter.
Meanwhile the cloaked figure produced a large burlap sack and began to grasp clothes from the shelf in handfuls, stuffing them into the bag.
"Alright, that's actually ridiculous!" She admitted, while Sylas still looked lost.
"What is a salad?" He asked.
"Whaaaaat?" Barric asked in disbelief.
"It's a bowl of mixed vegetables." Layla explained.
"Vegetables? The stuff you feed to livestock?" Sylas asked.
"Exactly!" Barric burst out.
"That's all it's good for I swear! I didn't ascend to the top of the food chain to eat fucking rabbit food!" Barric went off.
"That's why you shit once a week!" Layla pointed out.
"Exactly, that's less time I'm vulnerable to attack."
Barric stated quite confidently.
"I never considered that advantage…" Sylas pondered.
"Oh my gods." Layla sighed. "Wait… aren't we supposed to be on the lookout for suspicious cloaked figures pilfering the clothes?" Layla reminded them.
The figure behind them froze for a moment, listening.
"Oh yea! Wait! What if we used our own clothes as bait?" Barric said.
"Perhaps, but who would want to steal your week old sweaty trousers?" Layla said.
"Seeing as I'm the King now, you'd be surprised!" Barric assured her.
The cloaked figure behind them held up a pair of black leather pants and held them to their face, audibly inhaling their scent.
"Ohhhhhh godsdamn!" The figure moaned out uncontrollably in a high, almost girlish voice.
The entire group spun around in the bath at this.
"Hey what the fuck?!" Barric bursted out before leaping from the water.
The small cloaked thief quickly tossed the pants into their sack and dashed through the bathhouse, dodging patrons and leaping over entire baths with cat-like swiftness and reflexes.
The entire group was now on the chase, the only thing keeping them modest were the small bath towels tied around their waists.
Soon enough the chase had led them to the streets as they pursued the figure throughout the city. They dashed through dark winding allies, over sleeping beggars, and leaped from rooftop to rooftop in pursuit.
Eventually the figure led them to an older, more rundown section of the city. They bound over a section of roof into an old church Bell tower. The figure descended the twisting steps into the midsection of the tower as the group followed. Barric at the front of the trio slid to a halt as they came off the tower steps into a large open room.
Sylas and Layla nearly slammed into him as they came up right behind him.
To their surprise the room was well lit, and looked very much lived in. There were bookshelves, a desk, and a few trunks. All very average things, but what caught everyone's attention was the cloaked figure now standing in the middle of the room with a massive pile of clothes behind them.
The figure panted, tossing the sack of clothes to the ground.
"Looks like the end of the line for you." Sylas said.
"Alright, you got our attention and clearly led us here for a reason, who are you? …Also I'm gonna need my pants back." Barric asked.
The figure finally grasped the edge of its black cloak and threw it off.
The trio all took defensive stances unsure what to expect, but prepared.
They all froze for a second in disbelief as the figure was finally revealed.
"It's so cute!" Layla gushed.
Before them stood a short cat-boy demi human covered with dirty blond fur.
"It? My name's Quinn and I'm a boy!" The cat pouted.
"Just a boy huh? I'll be your mommy!" Layla teased.
"Wh-what? "That's not what I meant pervert! I'm nineteen, and girls are gross anyways!"
Layla looked as if someone had just tossed a great insult her way.
Barric couldn't help but laugh as Sylas stood there with an eyebrow raised.
"Alright then! Let's turn this little thief over to the duke and be done with it already." Layla said coldly.
"I also grow tired of these games, and I'd like my clothes back." Sylas said.
"Why have you done this Quinn?" Barric asked, finally getting straight to the point.
"I steal clothes from the nobles and well off folks from the wealthy part of our city. The only part the Duke wanted you to see. I give them to the people here that can't afford heavy coats and warm trousers. At first it was just my hobby, because the sweaty clothes smelled so good, but now I can help people. The Duke has taxed our part of the city into the dirt and even demands free labor from our mills. I led you here to speak to you far away from prying ears. It's true what you say, you are the new King of Ol' Tameria!
I know it, I saw the crown in your pack! That means you must help us! Please my lord, winter will come." The boy said, kneeling before his king.
"Tragic. But a thief is still a thief." Sylas said.
"I don't know Sylas. If a thief steals from a bigger thief, he may eventually become righteous… besides the boy is right. I am the king, so I must help. I will not allow slavery by another name to happen in my kingdom!" Barric declared.
Layla watched him. The way he stood and spoke. It was starting to happen finally. A King was starting to take shape.
Barric sighed.
"Stand up boy, that's not the kind of kneeling I like to see anyway." He joked as the cat stood.
"So… Quinn was it? Do you have a plan?" The King asked.
The cat boy smiled wide, showing off his tiny sharp teeth.
"I do actually." He assured the king.
"In that case, please share with us." Barric asked as everyone gathered around to hear what the boy had to say.
The next day right around noon people were starting to gather around the city's center as Barric, Layla, Sylas, and Quinn followed by just about everyone from the poor side of the city marched in the nude, carrying armfuls of clothes. They would make a massive pile of them in the center of the city that grew higher and higher until eventually Barric himself stood atop them all wearing only his crown.
The other three stood at the base of the clothing throne, guarding it to make sure no one tried to ascend it as well.
Sylas stood casually and uncaring as he usually did, while Layla and Quinn were burning red embarrassed, covering themselves with their hands as best they could.
Once enough people from both parts of the city had gathered to see what was happening Barric cleared his throat and stood confidently at the top of the pile.
"GOOD PEOPLE OF KLAMYIDA, IT IS I! KING BARRIC ARTHUR CORNELIUS IRONSTORM THE FIFTH!" He roared as the crowd grew silent.
"It has come to my attention that your duke has not been treating his subjects fairly. That his taxes have weighed so heavy on some that they can not even afford the simplest of clothing! This is unacceptable! This is not the Tamerian way!" TheKingspoke straight from his heart.
Layla looked up to him, her loins began to quiver from the power of his strong body and words.
"I ask of you my subjects to join me! Cast off the clothes that have divided you for so long. Without them we are all equals! Together we will march to the Duke's hall and remove him with nothing but our bare hands and nude bodies!
LET'S! FUCKING! GOOO!" Barric roared as the crowd burst into cheers, quickly tossing off their clothes straight into the pile. Men rejoiced as their sweaty loins were finally free to the cool day's breeze, women moaned in relief as they freed themselves of tight bras and panties that constricted them all day, and the suspicious stray dog was there.
The mob of now nude distraught city folk led by Barric's party marched through the city straight for the duke's hall. Once they arrived they paused at the front doors that were manned by armed guards.
"What's all dis den?" One of the guards asked.
"We have come to relieve the Duke of his duties, So says I, Barric Ironstorm, new King of Ol' Tameria." Barric informed them.
The guards each looked to each other before they all threw their weapons down in turn.
"Go ahead, He never pays me!" The first guard said.
"His eye scares me…" The second guard said.
"He stinks of shit!" The third guard said.
The once guards would then open the huge doors of the hall for the mob as they marched in, Barric at the front stepping right up to the duke's chair, his cock dangerously close to the duke.
"What is the meaning of this?!" Duke E. asked. His missing eye hole twitching disgustingly.
"It's over Duke E.! Your rule has come to an end. You are hereby stripped of your royal title. You are no longer a Duke, E. Rection. Now you're just an E. Rection, what ever the fuck the E stands for. And I sentence you to wear the same rags the peasants were forced to endure until your dying day!" Barric berated the now ex duke.
"…Well shit." Was all E. Rection could manage before Barric grabbed him by the collar of his royal attire and stripped it from his body in a single smooth motion.
E. Rection was now nude like the rest of his once subjects. Barric put his hand out to receive a pile of soiled rags from Quinn. He tossed them onto the ex duke's lap.
The old man sighed as he began to dress in his new rags in front of the good people of the city. The crowd cheered once he was dressed, Barric shoved him towards the double doors.
"Now hit the fucking bricks, and go be a farmer or something." The King ordered him. E. Rection made his walk of shame across the large hall as the crowd booed him. Once he had finally left and the crowd began to settle a voice spoke up.
"Who will become our new duke?" A random man in the crowd asked.
"Uhhhh." Barric said as he looked around the room and then to Quinn raising an eyebrow.
Quinn shook his head and made reluctant gestures.
"Hell no!" He whispered.
Barric sighed and pointed to the random man in the crowd.
"You! You shall be the new Duke of Klamidya." He said.
The man stepped forward. It was Ed, the first nude man they had encountered in the city.
"Thank you my lord! I'll not let you down!" He swore to Barric before taking the Duke's chair.
"Good! And with that, we will be off good people!" Barric announced before finally turning to leave as the crowd cheered once more.
Once Barric's party was gone everyone turned to their new duke as he stood upon his chair nude.
"As my first decree as Duke. From here on forward, clothing is optional in the city of Klamidya!" He announced. The crowd went wild.
The party would soon return to Quinn's home and return to their normal state of dress. Once everything was in order they made their way to the northern city gate and departed, but before they could get too far from the gate the cat boy would come sprinting after them wearing a pack.
"Wait!" He shouted, finally catching up to them.
"I want to come with you!" He told them.
Layla sighed. Sylas raised an eyebrow. Barric turned around.
"Please my lord, in all my time as a clothing thief I had never smelled anything quite like your trousers! I know I'm meant to follow you on your journey!" Quinn explained.
"We can not be stuck babysitting. The road ahead will be dangerous." Sylas said coldly.
"Yeaaa, I don't know if you're up for all that." Layla said.
Barric remained silent.
"I already told you, I'm not a kid! My parents died in the last war, I have no siblings, nothing left here, I can't stay!" Quinn pleaded. Layla spoke up again.
"Sylas is right, we can't-"
"Let him come…" Barric said, cutting off Layla.
Sylas and Layla both looked to Barric.
"He said himself he is grown, He can make his own decisions. I will not stop him if he wants to join us." Barric said.
Quinn's eye lit up.
"Under one condition though. No more my lord. Please call me Barric." The King said to the boy.
"Yes my… Barric!" Quinn said, stepping closer now to join the group.
Barric pointed to the road ahead.
"Let's fucking go then." He said with a grin.