Legend Four
The Kingdom of Sqwuck
OR
(Fuck a Sqwuck)
And just like that Barric found himself in competition of strategy which apparently he had already lost.
"Ok, now explain again how you were able to do that," said the king.
"So basically when I played tree girl it activated elf girl. Elf girl says when another monster girl comes into play she can put an acorn on another monster girl. So I'll put the acorn on tree girl. Tree girl says whenever an acorn is put on her, she makes a squirrel girl. So another monster girl comes into play, so I place another acorn on tree girl to make another squirrel girl and so on. I can do it as many times as I want so I'll make infinite squirrel girls and tree girl will have infinite acorns," a short glasses clad human woman explained to Barric, though the king still appeared confused.
"You lost me again," Barric admitted. "And, can't they not attack me since they were just bread?" He asked.
"Well like I said before, that's why I played fork in the road. It says that all my monster girls can attack as soon as they're born," the woman explained further.
"Are you two still playing that childish card game?" Layla would ask.
"Uhh, It's called Monster Girls Unlimited™, and it has plenty of other players besides children," the woman informed Layla, narrowing her eyes at the elf.
"Yea!" Barric said, in strong agreement with the woman. "And besides, I thought it important to learn the games of the common folk," Barric told Layla as the woman gathered her cards to vacate the table.
"Thank you for allowing me to teach you my lord, but I must be off back to work," the woman said, taking her leave.
Barric would give a wave as she left.
"Thank you for not going easy on me!" The king said.
"Seemed like an interesting battle of wits," Sylas commented.
"Or luck," Quinn commented as well.
"A bit of both, just like life," Barric added.
"Shouldn't we be going now?" Layla asked.
"We're in no rush sister, we could stay at this inn another night," Barric suggested.
"But we are in a rush, or have you forgotten about the demon armies?" Laya asked, crossing her arms and squinting at Barric. "I know why you're reluctant, and it can't be put off," Layla said.
Sylas and Quinn looked at each other quizzically.
Barric would narrow his eyes at Layla now, before letting out a long sigh and rising to his feet.
"Fine then, I guess we should get going," Barric said shortly, before gathering his things, and turning around to head directly for the door.
The rest of the group would soon follow, no one uttering a word as they would all take their leave from the inn and continue their journey north. They would travel in awkward silence for a bit until finally Quinn spoke up, unable to bear the silence any longer.
"So… where we headed?" The cat boy asked simply, but specifically.
The question hung in the air for a moment as the awkward silence had finally been broken.
"The kingdom of Squck," the King mumbled without turning around as he led the party.
The cat boy turned his head towards the man and perked his furry little ear.
"Huh?" Quinn asked.
"THE KINGDOM OF SQUCK!" The King announced, pointing as they crested the hill they had been climbing. The party looked up the rolling hills to see the spanning walls that encased a little kingdom. Though at the top of the massive hill the kingdom sat upon was an odd castle that appeared to have been built on stone stilts.
The king sighed.
"And I just couldn't give a fuck," he added.
"See I knew this is why you were stalling!" Layla said.
"I don't understand," Sylas would say.
"So what's up with Sqwuck?" Quinn asked.
"You'll all see soon enough," the King assured them as they continued on over those rolling hills until finally they were making their way through the front gates of the kingdom of Sqwuck.
Immediately the entire party would flinch except for Sylas as they were met with the rancid smell that seemed to just permeate from the kingdom. It stunk of spoiled milk and rotten meat as if the livestock had simply given up and just died in their fields, though somehow they still stood.
"Sqwuck and Ol' Tameria have a strained past," the King began.
"While we've allied ourselves with them in some past wars they would still continue to run raids on some of our outskirt villages during the winter. The funny part is that no one has ever gotten hurt in any of those raids, seeing as the Sqwukians are the worst fighters I've ever seen in my military career," Barric would start to rant.
"Wait, why would they raid your villages?" Quinn asked.
"Combat practice," Sylas said, in a matter-of-factly tone.
"Because the dumb mother fuckers can barely farm," Barric informed them.
Quinn would begin to crack up at this while Sylas just seemed disappointed.
"Pathetic…" Sylas commented.
Barric nodded.
"When they would ally themselves with us, we would usually just use them as frontline meat shields while the Tamerian calvary flanked," Barric said.
"I don't understand. Why are they so foolish? How could a society get so backwards?" Sylas asked.
Layla would raise an eyebrow at the irony demon's comment.
"Sqwuck has had a culture of inbreeding, ever since they had one King who got a little close to his sister. They're all fucking idiots, who fuck idiots, to make more idiots," The King put it simply.
"…Tragic," Sylas commented.
As the party made their way deeper into the kingdom, what the king told them would start to become apparent.
They would spot a man attempting to chop wood by tossing logs on top of an axe head that lay head up on the chopping stump, a blacksmith who's hammer laid on his anvil as he shaped a sword by smashing it repeatedly into the hammer, and a man who held an arrow facing towards him as he hooked a long bow into it's notch. He would pull the bow back by it's handle and then let it go, sending the bow itself sailing through the air to strike another man who had an apple resting on his head directly in his face. The man who had launched the bow would thrust his fist into the air triumphantly, while the other man was laid out on his lawn bleeding from the forehead.
Soon enough the party would come upon the odd castle that had been built upon stilts with a flat roof they had spotted over the hills just earlier. Barric sighed as they approached the front doors.
"Look at this shit, this is exactly what I was talking about right here!" The King said, waving his hand at the castle.
"The dumb bastards built it upside down!" Barric declared as the rest of the party seemed to be ignoring his ranting by now. They would make their way through the front double doors and into the grand hall of the castle heading straight towards the throne where the King of Sqwuck sat, looking quite bored.
As they approached the King would perk up on his throne and squint in their direction.
"As I live and blink, little Barric, is that you?" The King of Sqwuck would ask.
Everyone else in the party except for Barric would take long hard stares at the King of Sqwuck as he was the ugliest man who still lived.
The King was tall and oddly skinny like a walking pile of sticks. His skin was pale white, but rough and scrunched like the bark of a tree. Though all of this was almost forgettable compared to his face. He was like a pale nightmarish creature as his mouth sat just above his nose and his eyes just below it, his thick untrimmed eyebrows making it appear as if he had a mustache.
"King Skrunkus! Was I ever really little?" Barric would ask with a roguish grin.
"Ha! I guess not! Came walkin out your mother, big and handsome!" The other King teased.
"Though I did hear you're the new King of Ol' Tameria now, so I guess I ought to be apologizing to you for those winter raids. Our farmers are still trying to figure that food shortage thing out." Skrunkus admitted almost bashfully.
Barric would wave his hand dismissively.
"I'm willing to look past that since no one got hurt, but we do need to come to some sort of agreement while I'm here," Barric suggested.
"Funny you should mention that actually. I have a proposition for you. My son and daughter have been looking for suitors as of late. At least they claim they have, but I think they have been putting it off. They are both well past the age where they should have been married and moved out by now, but yet they stay. If you can find suitors for both of them, then Sqwuck will be your allies for as long as I remain King." King Skrunkus proposed.
The party fell silent as Barric considered.
Layla and Sylas looked unamused, while Quinn giggled at the idea.
"How about for as long as you and whoever becomes King after you live?"
Barric suggested.
The King of Sqwuck nodded.
"I'll do my best to convince whomever that may be," Skrunkus assured him.
"Then I agree!" Barric proclaimed.
"Wait, seriously?" Layla asked, but before she could protest any further, King Skrunkus would let out a high pitched squealing whine.
The whole party would recoil at this, Barric certain that the old King was about to die on the spot.
"Gona-Raya! Tyler!" Skrunkus shrieked, summoning his children.
Soon enough the pair would emerge from opposite doors to join the King's side.
"This is my daughter Gona-Raya. Should be easy enough to find her a suitor as she is the most beautiful woman in all of Sqwuck!" Skrunkus proclaimed.
To Skrunkus's credit Gona-Raya was tall with fair skin, and a slender upper body that led down to almost unbelievable hips that were hugged by her emerald dress. Her hair was long and golden, some of it done up in a crown of braids around her head. Her face was long and narrow, with thin lips, and little button nose. If it weren't for her eyes and oddly normal ears, Barric would almost think she was an elf.
Gona-Raya's eyes were almost glowing emerald green, quite large, and very very crossed.
The Princess of Sqwuck would look about Barric's party, her eyes looking two different directions and then crossing as she looked them all up and down.
"Hiya!" She greeted them with a wave, her voice rough like a rocky path.
"Hello…" Sylas replied alone, as the rest of the party fell silent with disbelief.
"And this is my son… Tyler." Skrunkus said, with a hint of disappointment.
The Prince of Sqwuck stood there awkwardly with his hands in his cargo short's pockets. He was a heavy set young man with scraggly facial hair, thin glasses, and long greasy hair pulled back in a ponytail.
He wore an odd style of hat Barric had never seen before, and a black tee shirt with an image of an elf woman bound and gagged, saliva leaking down her chin as it seeped from under her gag.
Layla couldn't help but stare at the Prince's shirt, her face quite red.
"Ugh, who are all these weirdos dad?" Tyler asked with a slight whine and a hint of disdain in his voice.
The entire party would raise their eyebrows at this.
"Old friends of mine who are going to help you and your sister get laid, I mean… find suitors," Skrunkus said.
"Oh yea? So what, am I gonna get to pound that elf?" Tyler asked, biting his lip and making an assumptive look at Layla.
"I'm gonna pound you, kid!" Layla would say, pulling up her sleeves.
"Layla! Phrasing!" Barric said, nudging her.
"King Skrunkus. Why don't they just marry each other as is Skwuckian tradition?" Barric would ask.
"Naw, I'm good," Tyler would speak up.
"Tyler reeks of rotten cheese and he screams at night!" Gona-Raya complained.
"You never could handle my natural gamer musk," Tyler replied, flexing his flabby arm.
"And the old traditions suck! I don't want a husband… like Tyler," Gonna-Raya said, trailing off.
Skrunkus would shake his head.
"Young people these days don't know how good they have it. I would have loved to have a beautiful sister to spread my seed upon, but I had to settle for my crotchety old grandmother," The King of Sqwuck sighed.
"As you can see, now King Barric, you have much work ahead of you. In the meantime I shall summon Mierda to show you to your rooms, I'm sure you're tired from your journey," Skrunkus said, just before letting out another shrill high whine and then screaming.
"MIERDA!" He yelled. An awkward silence would fall over the throne room as they waited.
Though before anyone arrived, the room would fill with a putrid smell. The smell would start to intensify as they waited, growing stronger and stronger until finally the source was revealed as a strange creature entered the room. It actually appeared to be a woman, or at least it was the shape of a beautiful woman, but Barric knew what it really was.
"A slime?" He questioned out loud as the slime stepped past Tyler, his eyes glued to it.
"This is our finest maid. Mierda," King Skrunkus introduced her.
Mierda was clearly a slime in the shape of a voluptuous woman, wearing a classic style maid's dress with two black bows in what could be considered her hair to part it into two long ponytails. Though the most obvious and captivating part about her was her color and smell. While most slimes were blue, purple, green, or red, Mierda was brown and had a smell to match.
The slime would offer the party a bow, her twin tails so long that they touched the floor with an audible "Sqwick". Once she had risen from her bow the tips of her twin tails would leave behind little brown stains on the throne room floor.
"Its an honor to meet another King of Siriuhs. I look forward to serving you and your companions," Mierda would say, with a genuine smile and an enthusiastic voice.
"As you can see, unlike the other types of elemental slimes, Mierda is quite special," Skrunkus would begin to explain. "Instead of being born of fire or water, Mierda stumbled into the excrement pit of a society of hyper intelligent magical snails," The King of Sqwuck informed them, much to their dismay.
"Huh… Natures' fuckin crazy isn't it," Barric commented as the rest of the party just looked horrorfied expect for Sylas who only had an eyebrow raised.
Soon enough Mierda would show each of them to their rooms, each of which were right next to each other in the same hall. Once everyone had deposited their traveling packs, Barric would go to each room to collect a party member before having them all together once again in Layla's room.
Barric would speak up first as he began to lay out a plan.
"So, I'm thinking we should split up in teams. Me and Sylas will go speak to the prince, get to know him, see if he has any would be love interest, and Layla and Quinn will go do the same to the Princess." Barric suggested, sitting on Layla's bed, Quinn's head in his lap as he pet him.
Sylas would look up from a book he was reading as he sat in a tilted back chair in the corner.
"Simple enough, but the boy seems hopeless." Sylas commented, peering back down at his book.
"Why the fuck did we all have to pile into my room?" Layla asked, sitting in front of the dresser and running a brush through her long blond hair.
"It just happened to be the last room, anyways, sound like a plan?" Barric asked. Everyone would nod in agreement as they broke into their teams and made their ways through the castle.
It would be easy enough for Barric and Sylas to find Tyler's room. It was the only door and the entire castle with a sign on it that read:
"Beware of Gamer"
Barric would knock on the door and wait a moment with Sylas as they were greated with nothing but silence. He would knock the door far harder and louder this time illicting an almost instant repose.
"Go away! Baitin!" The voice of Tyler rang out muffled from the other side of the door.
Barric gave Sylas a look before announcing himself in his royal voice.
"It is I, Barric Ironstorm, King of Ol' Tameria, and Sylas the Demon messenger! We have come to aid you in finding a suitor that uhh... suits you," Barric said.
There was a long pause and finally the door would open to reveal Tyler, who glared at both of them.
"Fine... come in I guess." Tyler said, opening the door fully for the pair now.
Barric and Sylas would step into his room and immediately almost trip over the trash that carpeted his floor. They would have to wade into the room, through nearly waist high piles of trash as the Prince shut the door behind them.
Barric and Sylas would survey the room, struck with sheer amazement, strong disgust, and a hint of nausea. A majority of the room was piles of trash, ranging from empty sacks of food, dirty dishes, the skins of fruits, and clothes that looked as if they had been worn once, soiled, and thrown aside. Barric swore he saw something quite large slither under the boy's bed. The bed itself was covered with towels laden with brown stains. There was another pile that appeared to be nothing but shattered glass, as if thirty crystal orbs had been shattered and left there.
Barric let out a long sigh and couldn't help but to comment on the state of the prince's chamber.
"Damn Bitch, you live like this?" He asked.
"Is this not how the average human dwelling looks?" Sylas asked, with a raised eyebrow.
Barric shook his head.
"Not at all, this looks more like a dragon's hoard if he collected filth." He said.
"You guys can sit anywhere I guess, I'm kinda busy playing League of Seven online classic™," Tyler said, hunched over his desk, pondering the scrying orb that sat in the middle of it.
"I'm good," Barric would assure him, as he and Sylas remained standing.
"Though we are here to help you young Prince. Maybe you can tell us a bit about yourself, interest, hobbies, any potential love interest?" Barric pried, as Sylas spun around to peer into the darkness under the bed.
Tyler scoffed.
"Huh, wouldn't you nerds like to know?" Tyler said with a grin before his face twisted to one of rage at his orb.
"FUCK!" He yelled, grasping his orb and throwing it against the hard stone wall of his room where it would shatter and fall straight into the pile of other shattered orbs.
"My fucking ability didn't go! Am I straggling or something? I wonder if father remembered to pay the mages this moon," Tyler complained.
Just then, Tyler's chamber door would open to reveal Mierda who held a tray of drinks in one hand and a scrying orb in the other.
"Heh, I recognize that passionate gamer yell anywhere, thought you might need another one of these!" Mierda said in her sweet voice as she strode into the room and placed another scrying orb in front of Tyler. She would also place a glass on his desk filled with an odd green liquid and offer Barric and Sylas glasses as well.
The pair would hesitate as they both noticed the brown slime that was left behind on the glasses from where she must have filled them. Not wanting to be rude, the King and demon would take the offered glasses from the tray, grasping them in such a way to avoid the brown slime that adorned them.
Tyler took a deep breath and let it out to calm himself.
"Thank you Mierda, you always know just what I need," Tyler said, grabbing the glass right from his desk and taking a long drink of it with seemingly no concern. Barric and Sylas couldn't help but watch him suck down the green drink so bravely as Barric would sit his glass on Tyler's desk while no one was paying attention.
"As we were saying, what sort of woman or perhaps man could a strapping young stud like yourself see yourself with?" Barric asked, doing his best to instill confidence in the Prince. Though it appeared the Prince needed none as he let out an annoyed sigh.
"I told you both, I don't want to marry anyone," Tyler assured them, as he stole glances at Mierda from the corner of his eye.
Barric watched them closely as Sylas seemed too distracted by the drink he had been offered previously. The demon would examine the brown goop that stuck to the glass before bringing it close to his face and giving a few sniffs. He paused for a moment before sticking his tongue out and poking just the tip against the slime. He retrieved his tongue and moved his lips about for a moment before shrugging and just taking a long drink of the green liquid in the glass. He cringed and choked it down before tossing the glass onto the pile of shattered orbs where it in turn shattered and joined the rest of the broken glass.
"Understandable young Prince, but your father said that we have to find suitors for both of you, not just your sister." Barric reminded him.
"Ugggh, alright, How about this? You tell him that you saw me in town with a girl and if he asks, I'll tell him the same thing. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to get back to my questing. Mierda, will you do the thing?" Tyler asked.
Sure enough, Mierda would stand behind the Prince and begin to massage his shoulders as he leaned back in close to his scrying orb and began to activate it. Little brown spots of slime were left behind on the Prince's back as she touched him.
"Perhaps it'll work… Come Sylas, lets take our leave for now," Barric suggested, squinting at the slime maid.
"But the boy still remains a pathetic loner," Sylas protested.
"Perhaps not quite the loner we think he is," Barric told him, giving him a wink.
Sylas would just stare at the King and raise an eyebrow.
"What is that? What are you doing with your face?" The demon asked.
Barric sighed.
"Aww Sqweet! Finally got level fifty!" The prince yelled.
Meanwhile on the opposite end of the castle, Layla and Quinn walked down massive stone corridors until they finally found a staircase that led them outside the stilted fortress. King Skrunkus had informed them that the Princess spent most of her time in the castle gardens, tending to the flora, and spending time with all the small critters that lived there.
"Why did the other's stick me with you?" Quinn asked, as they walked together, surveying the area for the Princess of Sqwuck.
"Why? Do you not like me?" Layla asked.
"I mean, girls are gross, but you seem ok. I thought you didn't like me. You didn't want me to come along..." Quinn said, with a tinge of sadness in his voice.
Layla sighed, immediately feeling guilty.
"I thought this whole adventure was going to be just me and my brother, like when we were kids, but he's already invited the demon who delivered the message of our doom, and... you," Layla said, feeling selfish as soon as she said it.
"So you thought you would have him all to yourself? Huh?" Quinn teased.
"It's not like that!" Layla said, her face turning a deep red.
Quinn laughed.
"My point was... I think he put me with you, because this is supposed to be like... The girl team, and Barric and Sylas are supposed to be the guy team," Quinn said.
"Ohhhh... Well, do you not want to be on the girl team?" Layla asked.
"I uhh, never thought about it actually," Quinn admitted.
Layla lifted an eyebrow, not realizing how deep her question may have been to quinn.
"Afternoon!" The Princess greated them as she watered a patch of huge mushrooms that stood up to her knee.
Layla and Quinn would stand there awkwardly, both unsure how to approach this type of situation they were in.
"So uhh, you like musky dudes or…?" Quinn asked.
Layla would kick at his leg.
"Whaaat?" Quinn whined.
"Princess Gona-Raya, we've come to help you find a suitor," Layla explained, in a more formal tone.
The Princess sighed and clutched her watering can nervously.
"I thought as much, I knew you'd be coming to speak with me sooner or later. I just wish father would give me a bit more time," Gona said, staring off into the distance or down at the mushrooms, Layla couldn't tell since each of her eyes stared in different directions.
"I'm sorry he's been inpatient with you, but I think we could help you. Do you have a type or an idea of the sort of partner you'd like?" Laylas asked.
"Well sort of," The Princess said, putting the watering can down and clutching her cheeks dramatically as she stared off into the distance again.
"I want someone who I can be myself around, someone to share my boring interest with, someone who will chase the skrimblos at dusk with me, someone who will sit with me for a picnic under the sqingle tree, someone who will take me on a romantic boat ride over Yoinkus lake so we can watch the goobels sing at dusk," the Princess said, lost in her longing daydream.
"What ever the fuck that means," Quinn mumbled.
"I don't even know what I would say to a would be suitor, I'm so inexperienced. Father says no one will want to be a with a hopeless, shy, virgin, who couldn't even suck the sap from a sqingle tree!" The Princess went on.
"You'd be surprised," Layla commented now.
Gona-Rays went on.
"Please! This is what you must help me with. I… must lay with one of you! Father says it will cure me of my virgin walk," She said, taking Layla's hands into hers.
"Ha! I've heard Barric say the same thing about you!" Quinn teased Layla.
"H-hush!" Layla said, her face and ears turning red as the Princess asked such a thing of them, but she immediately had an idea she was certain would take care of all this all very quickly.
"Just leave it to us Princess Gona!" Layla assured her.
Soon enough Layla, Quinn, and Gona-Raya all walked together through the halls of the castle in search of the others. They would turn from one large hall into another before finally bumping into Barric and Sylas.
"Barric!" Layla said.
"Layla!" Barric said.
"Sylas!" Quinn said.
Sylas remained silent and only offered a raised eyebrow in response.
"Barric, the Princess needs to get laid!" Layla explained quickly.
"Layla, we think the Prince feels something for the maid!" Barric explained quickly.
"The one made of shit?" Quinn asked.
"I mean yes, but she seems quite kind," Barric informed him.
"Mierda is too good to us," the Princess nodded.
"The Princess needs to get laid huh? Well I think it's quite obvious who this is a perfect task fo—" Barric began, but was suddenly cut off by a loud and unmistakably womanly moan.
"Oooooouuuuhhhh, ah!" The muffled voice rang out down the halls as the entire group fell silent now.
"It's… coming from Tyler's room," Gona-Raya said, leading the way.
The whole party followed the Princess, treading quickly but lightly as the moans grew louder and closer. Soon enough they were right outside of Tyler's door, the beware of gamer sign within arm's reach.
The Princess put a finger to her lips to signal them all to be quiet as she slowly turned the knob to the door and opened it only a few inches.
Everyone would crane their necks and crouch at various heights to get a peek into the room.
Inside they saw the source of the moaning, Mierda, who sat on the Prince's bed with her back to all of them. She let out more moans and gasps as she twitched, reacting to something they could not see.
"Ah! Ah! Mmmmmmoooouuuhhhhh," she moaned and finally laid back on the bed to reveal something between her legs.
The entire party did their best to hold in their respective gasps and vomit as Tyler's face was revealed, down between the slime's legs, lapping away at her, his mouth and face smeared with her brown goo like a kid who was eating his first ice cream.
Layla twitched as she felt something poke her back, the only person above her being her brother Barric.
"Barric! What the fuck! Is this making you hard?" Layla asked in stern whispers.
"Can I not be aroused at two lovers entangled in each other's bodies?" He asked, the thing poking Layla twitching now.
"Put that thing away!" Layla demanded as Tyler's head popped up and looked straight towards the door.
"Who's there?" He asked.
The entire party would all move at once, trying to back away from the cracked door, but in the mix up they would all just end up tripping over one another and falling into the Prince's door, throwing it open and revealing all of them as they collapsed into a pile onto the Prince's filthy floor. All expect for Sylas who stepped into the room behind them and let out a long sigh.
"Fools…" He commented, as Quinn vomited up a hairball right onto the floor.
After the little incident a meeting was held in the hallway right outside of Tyler's room seeing as no one else had any desire to enter the musky chamber.
"It's true, Me and Mierda are in love, and I don't care what anyone else thinks!" The Prince said, wrapping his arm around the slime maid and pulling her in close. If her face were able to turn red, it certainly would have as she looked down shyly.
"It's true Madam, I just couldn't keep away from him, please forgive me!" Mierda said, putting her head down as she apologized to the Princess.
The Princess giggled.
"No need to apologize, I'd be happy to have you in the family, I just can't believe my brother is in love! Thank you for making him happy," the Princess thanked her.
Mierda smiled wide, and bowed to the Princess.
"Of course Madam!"
Layla sighed a long sigh of relief.
"Well that solves one problem, but the Princess still needs to get laid!" Layla reminded everyone.
"I'm good, girls are gross," Quinn said.
"I have no desire to lay with a human," Sylas said.
"I think it's obvious who this is a job for," Barric said, stepping forward with a sly grin.
"Wait!" The Princess protested.
Barric paused.
"I don't want any of you… I want her!" Gona said, pointing to Layla.
Everyone gasped.
Layla's face burned red as everyone turned to look at her.
"Me? W-why me?" She asked.
"Yes, why her?" Barric asked as well.
The Princess seamed timid at first but finally spoke up.
"I've never wanted a husband… Or a man for that matter. In fact… Boys are gross," she finally admitted.
Quinn couldn't help but laugh at this as everyone else seemed somewhat shocked.
"Why didn't you just say that before?" Layla asked.
"Well it didn't seem important till now," the Princess admitted, shyly.
"We were looking to find you a husband!" Layla said, her voice raising.
Quinn continued to laugh as Barric stepped forward.
"Sister a word?" The King asked.
Layla let out a long sigh.
"Please excuse me Princess, my brother is summoning me," Layla told her, stepping away with Barric for a moment as they only put a few feet of distance between themselves and the Princess to speak in hushed tones.
"It looks like you have a win win situation here sis, what's the hold up?" Barric asked.
Layla shifted awkwardly.
"Well I don't know… I've never really thought about lying with another woman," Layla said.
"Oh come on, we both know that's not true! Remember Glariel? You were so jealous when I brought her home," Barric reminded her.
"That's because she was my best friend!" Layla said.
"Is that why you cried for days and wore all black for a while? Why you've never had a boyfriend?" Barric asked.
Layla paused deep in thought as she looked away embarrassed.
"This could be an experience for you that helps you and the Princess. Besides, it'll help both of you get rid of that virgin walk as well!" Barric laughed.
Layla gave him an annoyed look at his last comment as she contemplated in silence.
"Perhaps you're right…" She said, taking a deep breath to steel herself.
"Besides!" Layla said, no longer speaking in a whisper. "Gona isn't just the most beautiful woman in Sqwuck, She's just beautiful anywhere…" The elf said, turning to look at the Princess.
The Princess of Sqwuck met her with a big smile and her eyes shined like she might just cry at the elf's words.
"Layla… would you please join me in my quarters?" The Princess asked.
"Yes… Yes I will!" Layla said with a renewed confidence as she stepped towards the Princess and took her hand.
Gona giggled as she began to lead the elf away down the hall.
"Well this will be fucking halirious," Barric said, as everyone else nodded in agreement.
Princess Gona practically dragged Layla down the hall as she led her to her room. Soon enough they had arrived as Gona threw open the door to let the elf in and closed it behind them quickly, locking it. The Princess would press her back to the door and giggle awkwardly offering Layla a goofy smile.
Layla giggled as well before looking around the room curiously. The Princess's room would surprise her, but she wasn't sure what to expect in the first place.
It was full of plants, potted plants in every corner, some on shelves and even vines that grew out of the cracks in the floor and winded up the tall frame of her bed. Her huge bed was adorned with plush versions of all sorts of magical creatures, but the thing that caught Layla's eye the most was her desk. It was stacked with tall piles of cards. Monster Girls Unlimited™ cards…
"Wait a second…" Layla said to herself before the Princess approached her from behind and hugged her around her curvy waist.
"Is it true Madam Layla? Do you really think I'm beautiful?" Gona asked, whispering into her ear.
Layla's spine tingled at the feeling of Gona's warm breath against her ear. She spun around in the Princess's grasp to face her now, staring into her one eye that was focused on her.
"I do…" Layla admitted.
"That fills me with such joy, my mother was an elf and I always hoped I would meet another some day." Gona said, touching Layla's ear and stroking them from base to tip with her thumbs.
"That explains a lot act-" Layla was cut off as her ears were touched and she felt as if she might melt.
"Ahh!" She let out a sharp moan at the touch as Gona smiled.
The Princess's hands would move down to cup the elf's face as she pressed her nose to Layla's.
"Will you be my first kiss sweet elf?" Gona asked, her lips already so close.
Layla nodded.
"Y-yes, just touch my ears more please," she asked.
The Princess giggled grasping the elf's ears once again as she leaned in to press her lips to the elf's. Layla felt like she was melting once again before a shock of excitement shot through her body from the kiss. It started slow, the Princess suckling the elf's bottom lip and moving her mouth just a bit before suddenly something began to press into Layla's mouth.
"Mmm!" The elf moaned in surprise as the Princess's tongue slipped into her mouth. She thought it was a bit quick, but she welcomed the warm tongue, playing with it at first, but it felt as if it didn't stop coming. Soon her entire mouth was full and she pulled away from the kiss confused.
A trail of thick saliva connected the elf's lip to the tip of the Princess's apparently very long tongue. It hung from Gona's mouth a good eight inches as the Princess smiled and retracted the entire thing with a wet slurp.
"My eyes aren't the only special thing about me," Gona said, giving Layla a little kiss on the cheek.
"My gods…" Layla said, feeling the excitement within her grow.
The Princess took the elf by the hand once again and pulled her along towards her huge bed.
"Layla… won't you please come and join me on my bed?" The Princess asked not giving her much of an option as she pulled her along before falling onto the bed with the elf in her arms. Gona giggled as plush creatures spilled off the bed and she hugged the elf close, pressing her face into her soft chest.
Layla would let out a deep sigh and begin to allow herself to relax as she giggled as well. All this attention was not something she was used to, but it was nice… In fact it was more than nice.
The two would stare at each other for a moment and both of their faces would turn red as they averted their gazes.
"So… how should we start?" Layla asked awkwardly. Gona looked away still before glancing back at the elf.
"I uhh… can I smell you?" The Princess asked.
"Y-yea, sure," Layla told her, unsure if this was a normal request, but uncaring still.
The Princess would press closer, Layla tensing up unsure what to expect as Gona simply sniffed at her hair.
"Ah, you smell so good!" She told her, before pressing her face to her neck to kiss her before moving down.
"Ah!" Layla moaned at the kiss to her neck as she began to relax again while Gona moved down her body. She would pause at the elf's stomach, pressing her nose against her green dress and sniffing at it. Layla reached down and ran her hands through Gona's hair and before she knew it the Princess was working her way under the elf's dress!
"Wait I-!" Layla protested, but as soon as the Princess's gentle hands touched the elf's thighs she couldn't help but moan and spread them wide for her.
Gona giggled as she stuck her head under the elf's dress and soon enough Layla would feel something press against the crotch of her panties!
"Ah! G-Gona! W-what are you-?" Layla tried to ask, but could barely speak from all the attention she was receiving. The weird Princess sniffed away at the shy elf, grasping her thighs and pressing them back to expose her further.
Layla could feel something warm building within her as her body was explored like this for the first time.
"Mmm! You smell so good… I must taste you!" The Princess moaned from under the elf's dress.
"I… I…-" Layla quivered, unsure what to say, but it wouldn't matter as she felt her panties quickly moved to the side and her already excited sex touched by another for the first time! The Princess gave her a long flat lick flicking her tongue right at the end. Layla's entire body tensed as she gripped the sheets of the huge bed and something washed over her. Something intense that made her entire body quiver as she wrapped her thighs around the Princess's face and trapped her there for a moment.
"Ahh! M-my gods!" Layla moaned as she climaxed on the spot for the very first time from her very first lick.
Meanwhile just outside the Princess's chamber door the rest of the entire party sat listening carefully, except of course for Sylas who was once again nose deep in another book.
"Damn, I didn't need your cat ears to hear that one," Barric commented at the moans of his sister as Quinn had one of his large ears pressed right up against the door.
"I'm so proud… Next we see Layla, she will be a changed woman," Barric said, looking up as if he were fighting back tears.
Soon enough the party would find themselves back in the Inn they had stayed at just before entering the kingdom of Sqwuck. The party all sat at a table together and watched as Princess Gona and the barmaid that had previously bested Barric in a game of cards sat and played their own hand of Monster Girls Unlimited™. The pair seemed to be getting along just perfectly as Layla let out a sigh.
"Well I guess we got lucky with this one… Though I can't help but feel a bit jealous." Layla admitted.
"Well, I'm sure you wouldn't want to spend the rest of your life In Sqwuck," Barric says.
"Yea, good point, though we still have to help Tyler admit his love for Mierda to the King." Layla points out.
"Well, We're going to take care of that at dinner tonight, and then we can get the fuck out of here," Barric says, before taking a long swig at his drink.
The Princess giggled at something the barmaid had said as the biggest smile came across her face.
Later on in the evening, upon Layla's suggestion, the Princess would arrange a dinner so that she and her brother could announce they had finally found suitors.
Mierda and the rest of the castle's maids would set out the plates and silverware for the dinner. The one's Mierda had set out were obvious as they had little brown stains left on them from her touch.
Soon enough everyone had gathered and was seated at the long table in the dining room. Mierda came out once again with a large tray of drinks which she served to each of the party members, the Sqwuckians, and the Princess's new friend.
Barric and his companions would all avoid their slime stained drinks while the Sqwuckians didn't even seem to notice. Sylas also seemed to not care as he drank from his glass without hesitation.
"So! I hear you have news for me, King Barric?" Skrunkus would say, breaking the awkward silence in the dining room.
"Not I my lord, but your children!" Barric would answer, gesturing towards the Prince and Princess.
Everyone would adjust their gaze to the Princess first, as she obviously had a new person beside her.
Gona-Raya would stand and look up and down the table nervously.
"Father, this is my new friend and… potential suitor, Thassa," The Princess said, introducing the glasses-wearing woman they had met previously at the inn.
Thassa pushed her glasses up and offered the king a wave.
"Hi there…" she said.
"Hmm, well I was expecting a man, but I guess whatever makes you happy my Princess," The King said, giving a nod of his approval.
Gona smiled and her lip quivered as if she might cry.
"Thank you father…" was all she could manage before taking a seat once again.
"And Tyler?" Skrunkus asked.
"Well Dad I-" Tyler began, but was quickly cut off by Mierda.
"Forgive my interruption my lords, but I wish to speak on Prince Tyler's behalf," she said, bowing her head towards the King of Sqwuck.
Skrunkus glanced from the maid to his son with a raised eyebrow and the Prince nodded.
"Go ahead Mierda," The King said.
The slime maid looked up, taking a deep breath she probably didn't need.
"My lord, I… I am in love with Tyler and he as well is in love with me. We can hide it no longer and I wish to read one of his many love letters he has written for me." Mierda requested.
"Go ahead then," Skrunkus said, squinting quizzically.
"Thank you my Lord," Mierda said, producing a folded piece of stained parchment.
The dining room grew silent as all attention was now on the slime.
"Dearest Mierda… I can bear it no longer. Everyday of my life before I met you was horseshit. Sitting in my room, playing games, shaming myself, and getting drunk on tiny wines," the slime began, as everyone listened intently and Barric suppressed a giggle.
"But then I met you. I didn't know what to think about you at first. I had never met a person quite literally as magical as you. Everyone else seemed to avoid you, judging you by your look and smell, but it never stopped you from being kind. I know just how that feels. As I got to know you I would soon find out how deep that kindness and caring went. I had never known such gentle love from a woman having grown up without a mother. I thought this was surely the extent of my love until we spent our first night together…" Mierda went on.
A few of the party members would raise eyebrows at this. King Skrunkus's eyes would soften at the heartfelt words that were now being spoken aloud. Mierda would continue.
"That night my life was forever changed as I finally tasted the sweet nectar betwixt your thighs. I had never felt something so warm, inviting, and gooey as if returned to the very womb of my long lost mother," Mierda read.
The party was growing wide eyed by now and Barric had to bite his hand to keep from laughing at this point.
The maid continued on still.
"The way you felt as I finally entered you was divine! And the way you started throwin it back and it was grippin and huggin! Grippin and huggin! Grippin and huggin! Your dookie hole soakin wet! Soakin wet! Soakin wet! I couldn't help but let all my seed loose into you when it started squirtin and fartin! Squirtin and fartin! Squirtin and fartin!" The slime proclaimed with all the love in her heart as her voice wavered, overcome with emotion.
Barric slammed his fist on the table now and looked down to hide his face as he shook with silent laughter. King Skrunkus reached over to touch his shoulder.
"I know son, It's so beautiful. I to am overcome by it," The King assured him, tears now running down his odd face.
The party looked horrified as all the Sqwuckians seemed touched and overcome with emotion. Thassa just nodded and began to clap slowly.
Soon enough the entire room was clapping as Mierda stood there clutching the love letter and staring up at the King of Sqwuck.
Finally the King began to clap as well and Mierda smiled.
Eventually the clapping subsided and the dining room became silent again as the King looked from Mierda to the Prince.
"My son… Your words are like a dagger that pierces my heart. I never knew you were capable of such beautiful sentiment, all because of our maid… I wish your mother were here to see this. If you wish to spend the rest of your life with Mierda, then you two have my blessing," Skurnkus said, dabbing tears from his face.
"Thanks dad…" was all Tyler was able to manage as a big smile grew across his face.
"Thank you my Lord!" Mierda said, offering the King a deep bow.
Skrunkus put his hand up dismissively.
"Please Mierda, you can call me dad now," Skrunkus told her with a little grin.
"Yes dad!" Mierda said cheerfully.
Barric and Layla would both let out long sighs of relief at how smoothly this entire thing had actually gone.
Barric stood and raised his brown slime stained glass high.
"To the new generation of Sqwuck, and peace between our kingdoms! Let us celebrate tonight! And LETS FUCKING GOOOOO!" Barric proclaimed as everyone else joined him in raising their glasses.
There were cheers all around as everyone began to drink and make merry. The party would be careful to avoid the glasses with the brown stains while Sylas couldn't seem to care. Barric's little party, the Sqwuckians, and Thassa would party deep into the night, drinking all the while, playing all sorts of games, and singing all sorts of songs.
Eventually Barric would find himself in a drunken stupor, wandering down one of the many hallways with King Skrunkus. The pair would laugh and hold each other up right as they recalled stories of the past. The King of Sqwuck's laughter would come to an uneasy end as he paused in one of the halls.
Barric paused as well to notice the ugliest man who lived stood still as he stared at a painting on the wall.
The painting was of a woman, a beautiful elf woman with long blond hair and green eyes. She looked strikingly familiar, almost exactly like Layla.
"Who's this?" Barric blurted out, unable to contain his peaking curiosity.
Skrunkus stood silent for a moment before responding.
"My wife, Diana… Gona-Raya and Tyler's mother," The King responded, still staring at the painting with heavy eyes.
"And… where is she now?" Barric hesitated to ask.
"Gone… Not dead gone, but gone. She left after the war, right after Gona was born. She was a free spirit, always telling me all about her travels. She was already a few hundred years old when we met, had mentioned she bore children before as well… I just wish I could see her one last time before I go. I'm getting about that age now, but I'm sure she's out there somewhere still beautiful as the day we met," Skrunkus paused, taking a long swig from the bottle he had been drinking from all night. The King would stumble, but Barric would catch him.
"Come on old man, let's get you to bed," Barric said, helping the King of Sqwuck down the hall and off to his chambers.