SWOLLEN
Naputol ang pagkakahalik nito sa leeg ng babae at dumapo ang tingin nito sa aking nakaawang ang mga labing nakatingin sa kanila. Mabilis na napalitan ng iritasyon ang mukha nila na kanina lang ay gulat.
"What the fck are you doing here?" Mababakas ang iritasyon sa mukha at tono ng salita nito.
"Naglilinis ng inidoro," wala akong balak na kwistyunin ang ginagawa nila dahil ayaw ko rin namang manumbat lalo pa at kasama ang babaeng ito. Isa pa ay wala naman akong pakialam sa mga pinaggaga-gawa nila. Nagkataon lang talagang dito sila nakapasok sa cubicle na kasalukuyang nililinis ko.
"Hanggang dito ba naman, makikita ko pa 'yang pagmumukha mo?" Galit nitong aniya na para bang pati ito ay kasalanan ko.
"Janitress po ako rito, sir," pormal sa sabi ko at nasapo lang nito ang noo sa sobrang pagkairita at wala akong pakialam do'n. Sila ang nakakaabala at hindi ako at 'yon ang paninindigan ko.
"Are you stalking me?" Bakas pa rin sa mukha ang iritasyon sa kaniya at namilog naman ang mga mata ko sa gulat nang marinig ang sinabi niya.
"Anong stalk-"
"Maybe I have captivated you the first time you saw me, sobrang halata kang panget na nerd ka!"
"Pasensiya na pero-" hindi na naman natuloy ang sasabihin ko ng bigla na naman itong nagsalita.
"First sa Baylen's Bar, second sa pagtambay mo sa tambayan ko, and lastly ngayon," hindi ako nakapagsalita sa wala namang katotohanan niyang mga sinabi at napangisi na lang ito bigla. Pero ang ngising 'yon... nakakakaba, yung biglang ngising punon-puno ng iritasyon. "Tss! Who would have known, you enrolled at my University just so you can see me."
Sa totoo lang ay marami akong mga salitang maibabato sa kaniya, pero sa mga oras na 'to ay parang nagyelo ang buong katawan ko. Hindi pa tuluyang rumirehistro sa utak ko ang mga nakakagulat na wala namang katotohanan na lumalabas sa bibig niya.
"Now you can't talk? Because you're guilty and that's the truth right? Matagal na kitang inunahan, na hindi ako magkakagusto sa 'yo dahil ang panget mo! Kung napansin man kita, 'yon ay dahil sa nakakairita mong mukha! Sumasakit ang mata ko sa-" hindi na niya natuloy pa ang sasabihin ng dumapo ang palad ko sa pisngi niya.
Sumusobra na siya, ang sakit-sakit niyang magsalita! Sino ba siya para husgahan ako? Sino ba siya para pintasan ang buhay na buong pusong pinili at nilandas ko? Sino ba siya para sabihin ang mga salitang 'yon sa pagmumukha ko? Pinararatangan niya ako ng walang katotohan.
Alam kong sanay na ako sa mga ganitong klase ng tao. Alam kong panget ako, alam kong nakakadiri ako pero iba pa rin talaga kapag ganitong harap-harapan niyang ipinapamukha sa aking hindi ako tanggap sa lipunang ito, na hindi ako katanggap-tanggap sa mga mata ng tao.
Pinapangunahan niya ang nararamdaman ko. Kahit gusto ko siya na hindi naman totoo ay pinipilit niya at dumadagdag iyon sa sakit na nararamdaman ko ngayon. Ako ang mas higit na nakakaalam sa nararamdaman ko pero umaakto siyang mas alam niya kung ano ang nararamdaman ko, na siya ang laman ng puso ko, na gustong-gusto ko siya!
Para malaman niya, hindi siya katulad ng ipinipilit niya ang bumabalot ngayon sa puso ko kun'di sakit na mapipintas na mga salita niya ang bumabalot rito.
"What the-" natigil siyang magsalita ng mabawi niya ang mukha at balingan ako ng tingin. Ang mukha kong nilalandasan ng mga luhang tumutulo mula sa mata ko.
"Ano bang kasalanan ko sa 'yo at galit na galit ka sa 'kin?"
Pinipilit kong hindi lumuha pero wala akong magawa.
"Kasalanan ko bang nakakadiri ako sa mga mata mo? Pinapangunahan mo ang nararamdaman ko, pinipilit mong gusto kita kahit hindi naman totoo! Bago mo ipamukha sa 'kin iyang magiging reaksiyon at sasabihin mo, siguraduhin mo muna ang katotohanan dito sa nararamdaman ko!"
Kasabay na itinuro ko ang dibdib ko kung saan nakatapat ang puso ko para naman maunawaan ng utak niya ang ipinupunto ko.
"Ang babaw naman nitong nararamdaman ko kung ikaw ang magugustuhan ko. Ang babaw ng kaligayahan ko para idepende 'yon sa 'yo. Iniisip mo ba talagang gusto kita, na magugustuhan ko ang mapamintas na taong katulad mo?"
Hindi siya nakasagot. Wala kong pakialam kung umiiyak na 'ko, wala kong pakialam sa babaeng nakatingin sa 'kin sa mga sandaling ito. Tanging alam ko lang ay ang sakit-sakit talaga rito sa may bandang dibdib ko.
"Kung napansin mo man ako dahil sa pangit at nakakadiri ako, tandaan mo 'to, Zach. Hindi ka mahirap abutin kung 'yon ang iniisip mo, dahil sa paningin ng mga matitinong tao... makikita lang sa ilalim ng sapatos ang mga katulad mo!" Huling sambit ko saka nilisan ang buong banyo.
Ang mga masasakit na mga salita niya, ang pangunguna niya sa nararamdaman ko. Ang sakit-sakit ng idinulot niyon ngayon sa buong pagkatao ko. Sanay na sanay na 'ko pero hindi ibig sabihin niyon na hindi na ako nasasaktan ng ganito.
Walang humpay lamang akong tumatakbo papunta sa kawalan habang sinusubukang itago ang mga matang lumuluha ng biglang mabunggo ako sa matigas na dibdib ng kung sino.
"Sorry-" natigilan ako ng mag-angat ako ng tingin rito at gulat naman ang mukha nito.
"Yeri? Hey, why're you crying?" Saka ko lamang napagtanto na si Chad ang na sa harapan ko. Bakas ang pag-aalala sa mukha niya pero wala kong plano para mag-explain pa dahil sa mga oras na 'to ay gusto kong mapag-isa muna habang nilalabas nito ang sakit na harap-harapang ipinaramdam sa 'kin ang Zach na 'yon.
Nag-iwas ako ng tingin rito at walang sabi-sabing tunalikuran ito at tatakbo na sana ako palayo rito ng bigla nitong hawakan ang kamay ko.
"What happened?" Tanong niya pero umiling na lamang ako at binawi ang kamay ko sa kamay nito at tumuloy na sa pagtakbo papunta sa isang lugar na sarili ko lang ang makikita kong tao.
Kaunting iyak lang naman 'to. Sanay na 'ko pero nasasaktan pa rin talaga ako. Wala pang isang beses na hindi ako umiyak matapos maririnig ang mga ganoong sinasabi ng mga tao. Niloloko ko lang yata ang sarili kong sanay na ako dahil kung sanay na 'ko hindi ako iiyak at masasaktan ng ganito.
Hinayaan ko lamang ang sarili kong umiyak sa tahimik na sulok rito at pagkatapos ay balik na naman sa nakakapagod na pagharap sa riyalidad. Balik na naman ang lahat sa normal.
Kaunting iyak tapos kaunting ayos, okay na! Ito ang tunay na sanay ako! Luha ang daan ko sa paglabas ng sakit na nararamdan ko. Parang sa luha natitipon ang sakit at kapag lumalabas na ito sa mga mata ko ay ganoon rin ang unti-unting paggaan ng pakiramdam ko.
Ilang minuto pa muna ang pinalipas ko bago binalikan ang cubicle na naiwan ko, para masiguro na ring wala na talaga ang mapamintas na Zach na 'yon.
Natapos naming malinis ang lahat ng restrooms rito sa Mall ng hapon na. Half day lang naman ang trabaho ko rito at pagkatapos ay uuwi na 'ko. May half day ako para ipahinga ang sarili sa nakakapagod na mga nagdaang araw.
Kulang ako sa tulog kaya naman ng makauwi ay natulog lamang ako sa bahay matapos maglinis. Si nay naman ay sa linggo pa ang bakante dahil lunes hanggang sabado ang trabaho nito sa pananahi. Kailangan ko munang ipahinga ang sarili ko para sa regular ng trabaho ko bukas sa Icecream Truck sa park.
Kinaumagahan ay naghanda na naman ako para sa trabaho ko sa araw na 'to, sa Icecream Truck. Sapat na naman sa 'kin ang maghapong tulog ko kahapon kaya medyo maayos na naman ngayon ang pakiramdam ko. Tulad ng dati ay nag-jeep lang ako papuntang park kung saan naroon na si ma'am Linda at hinihintay ako.
"Oh Yeri, nandito kana. Sige ikaw na ang bahala rito at may aasikasuhin pa ako," mabilis nitong sabi ng makarating ako. Nagmamadali itong nilisan ang Icecream truck at umalis. Kailangan pa nitong puntahan ang restaurant na talagang main bussiness nito.
Maaga pa naman at wala pang masyadong tao rito sa park. Sa ganitong maaga pa naman ay inaayos at inihahanda ko pa lang muna ang mga kagamitan at kasangkapan na kakailanganin para sa pagbibenta ng icecream mamaya.
Lumipas ang ilang oras at nagsisimula ng dumami ang mga tao rito sa park. Mga bata, mag-girlfriend at boyfriend, mag-asawa kasama ang kanilang mga anak at marami pang iba kaya medyo marami na rin ang mga bumibili ng ice cream na ibinibenta ko.
Hindi naging bakante ang oras ko sa pagbibenta ng icecream dahil marami-rami rin ang bumibili rito. Liban kase sa sikat at maraming pumupunta sa park na ito ay ang ganda pa ng panahon kung kaya't marami ang bumibili. Mabuti na rin 'yon kumapara naman sa nakatunganga lang ako rito at walang bumibili.
Zach's POV
That nerd left us especially me with a dashed face. No one ever dared slap my face in my long time existence in this fcking world and when that nerd's palm landed on my face with her great force really gave me a goosebump.
"Hey baby, is your face hurt? Are you okay?" Jera's shrill voice came closer and was about to touch my cheek when I moved her hand roughly before it came near my face and left the cubicle without any words.
Narinig ko pa ang pagtawag niya sa pangalan ko but I just ignored it and continue walking out of the Mall. Bahala na sina Chad and Cai roon, nawalan na 'ko ng ganang samahan ang mga ito.
That nerd, how can she always get my day worst and my eyes hurt by only showing her disgusting face in front of me. I don't like seeing her face but she keeps manifesting. I'm really pissed-off, especially lately when she cries in front of me not because I pity her but because of her face getting even worse! Her face that is first of all a disgusting, turns when she cries a horrible sht!
The anger I'm feeling right now on that nerd is just growing and growing as my face especially my chin where her stupid hand basically struck is really now in pain, while driving in the middle of this road. I feel like it's wounded and it's really fcking hurt!
"What happened to you, you just leave us at the mall, Bud." Cairo say's while leaning her back towards our blueish colored couch same as Chad, too.
"Yea, you didn't even bothered to tell us. Just letting you know we've been wasting an hour searching you out only for nothing," Chad followed with the blank expression on his face. Until now, I'm still not in a great mood. My face is still hurting from that nerdy girl's slap. Fck!
"So where hotel did you check-in with that Jera girl huh?" Cai asks and smiled wildly when he's eyes meet's mine. "It's okay, naiintindihan ko naman kung hindi ka na nakapagpigil."
"Ouf," I just said in a low voice enough for him to heard.
"What Bud? Don't ever lie to your best friends, especially me the expert one!"
"I haven't bring that girl on a hotel," I answered boredly, causing Cai to plant another small smile again on his face. "We just kiss in jus a sec-"
"Sec? Really, in just a sec, Zach?" Chad cut my sentence with his both strange tone and expression while saying those words.
I just nod innocently making our ouf friend Cai chuckles.
"How can a girl cause half of your handsome face to be flushed with lipstick in just a couple of seconds?" His eyes look over my face with his appreciable countenance. "Looks like that Jera girl kissed you really rough, making that half of your face swollen really hard, tsk."
"It's because it's really swollen... because of that nerd," after I finished my sentence there expressions tighten up and it's weird. I'm sure it's because I mentioned that word nerd who's definitely that disgusting nerd who fearlessly hit my face with her fcking hand!
I just noticed how that word nerd caught the attention of both of them. They're acting like that nerd in a certain topic is someone or SOMETHING that is really interesting or important about, even its really fcking not.
"Nerd? You mean Yeri?" They surprisingly both stated in a fast tone on their voice and weird expressions on their faces.
They rapidly looked at each other after hearing the same question they both asked and just in a sec they turn their direction on mine again. Even they leave it and I find it confusing I just continue my words to fulfill on what their eyes are both demanding.
I really have to bring this hatred and hostility out before it burst and explode ruin my sanities and leaving the only two left choice kinds of destination. It's either myself to destroy together with my own sanities or that nerd surely destroyed all when she never tries to stop pissing me and my life fckng off.
Well, I'm sure these two can help me on this. At least they can give me good advices on how I can get revenge on that nerdy girl that'll make her suffer really hard after what she has done on my face. She can't escape this Eerie hand of my own. I want her to be scared and to witness how cruel the man she was fearlessly tackled that will leave her totally insane.
"It's not because of a kiss or whatever it is by that girl I'm with at that mall... it's because of that fcking nerd who slapped my greatest handsome face!"
"For real?!" Cai asks on disbeliefs while Chad still has his usual poker face but I can feel now a bit uneasy on his face after hearing my words. "H-he j-just slap y-you?" He added.
"How can that happened?"
"Why she just did that? Ang pula-pula."
"Tingnan mo oh, namamaga!"
"Kawawa naman si Yeri."
Sunod-sunod pang tanong nito, while I'm just listening on his concerns and waiting for his help to get the best revenge on that– wait... what?!
I quickly stared at his lifeless face after realizing his last sentence. How can that fcking happen? Ako ang sinampal, pero siya ang kawawa? What the fck?!
"I'm the one who have this swollen face right now and it's that fckng nerd's fault! How can that nerd be more pitiful you asshole?" I asks with an irrational voice with my wrinkle forehead but he didn't even bothered to see it and just continue making such a lifeless expression on his fcking face. Ouf!
"She's more pitiful and we both know that, I'll just pray for her peaceful life on her rest days. I'm sure you won't leave her alone 'til you get satisfied on making her lived like hell," walang buhay pa nitong sabi habang nakababa lamang ang ang tingin.
In just a matter of seconds, Cai's like regenerated himself and turn his head up meeting his eyes on mine with a strange hope in it.
"Maybe she has reasons?" He speaks hesitantly.
"Yea, she surely has," Chad's added without any changes on his face.
At this point, I think I don't have any choice. Even I don't really want it, I was forced to tell them the whole incident. From the moment Jera and I entered the Restroom together until I came out alone. I haven't left over any pieces of it 'cause like what I have said, I need this hatred and hostility out before it bursts and explodes. And honestly it is working actually right, like what I have expected.
As I'm talking to them all what happened at that restroom especially my hatred to that nerdy girl making it my way of letting out this negative instinctive of my mind deriving from that nerds disgusting appearance that I don't usually want to fck up the great breathtakingly image of mine and the whole Evilord Consanguinity.
My hatred that slowly fading away are just now slowly and slowly getting back 'cause of this two assholes I'm talking with.
"This is fcking horrible! I'm your best friend, but you're both on that nerd's fcking side?!"
"It's not like that, bud. It's just... it's just that you're the one who persuaded her to do something like that. It's... it's-"
"Your fault, bud," Chad added on Cai discontinuous words.
"Yea," he let out a deep breath before taking his head lifelessly down, "your fault."
Are they even my friends? How can they just defend that ugly nerd over there long time best friend! This is not acceptable, if only it's legal to kill! I will definitely cut off her breath in just a matter of second!
"Magtago na talaga 'yang nerd na 'yan, I can't make her see literally hell but I can make her feel how hot the hell is. It's insufficient if she can only feel it, cause I will definitely want her to leave on it!"
"Tsk! Zach grow-up! Babae 'yon, ang hina-hina ng babae kumpara sa ating mga lalaki-"
"Who cares, look at my face! It's swollen because of her, is that how should a girl act on a guy? She's j-just a crap!"
"Are you really that pissed off?" Cai asks in disbeliefs.
"Of course I am!" I irritably answer.
"Until when will you be this immature, Zach," his voice has lost its appetite as if it has given up on talking to me.
I'll just strangely grinned maybe as an answer to his sentence. I'm just normally sitting at the couch but my mind is already done on planning to make that nerd's life miserable.
"Poor innocent nerd, prepare yourself for an upcoming hell to come."
"I know that evil smile Zach," Cai said with concern. "It's been a big problem once, it's very dangerous if it happens again."
I just ignored him and his words when Chad's stand-up roughly, gotten are both attention. As we especially me looked at his face, I am not sure but I have seen a fire on his eyes as our both eyes met.
"Your my bestfriend and Yeri is now my friend. I can throw friendship Zach, especially when it's worthless," he say's coldly same as his face with his blank expression and just walk out our house. Tss! No one forced him to come here, so no one will also forced him to leave here.
You may be my bestfriend but you will never be my hindrance at all...