Elinor’s POV
Claire didn’t have to drag me out of bed, but she constantly asked if I was okay. Instead of replying to her, I would turn to her and pin her with a gaze.
Of course, I knew none of this was her fault. If the Emperor decided he wanted a picnic lunch, not even the devil himself dared to fight him on it.
But it was worth considering, was it not? That he would have it all organized because he knew I wanted it. And maybe, just maybe, his reason for having it wasn’t such a negative one.
I wanted to believe that his intentions could be good because he had not gone out of his way to do me any harm so far. But it was truly hard, to be honest, to let go of a lifetime of my perception of him.
Not when all I knew of him was bad and truly disturbing. He was the beast who killed all the women brought to him as a bride, and it was only an innate fear that in only a matter of time, I could be next.
I did not want to be next.
And was it any wonder that I wanted to keep out of his way? And how was I supposed to do that if he kept bringing up events where we had to be in each other’s space?
Claire led me to the garden where she said he was and had a bright smile when she announced, “Oh, there he is, waiting for you. Lady Elinor, I think you give him a new light.”
And truly, he was there, seated on the ground, a blanket beneath, caught up in a book.
He looked so… normal. His long hair, tied in a ponytail, wearing a loose white tunic that made him look delicious. He didn’t smile at us when he looked up but watched us in his quiet way. The sun shone on him in a pardoning way, and I couldn’t help but think of the clay in the potter’s hands.
He was the clay, and the potter did beautiful things to him with his hands.
I turned to Claire and whispered, “If I survive, then you’re off the hook.”
“You will,” she said and grinned, “Enjoy your lunch.” And then she was off, leaving me alone with Fenrir.
I turned to face him once more, still to find his eyes on me.
He got up when I drew closer and bent over me when I got to him.
“Hope the garden soothes you? I reckoned you might enjoy the scenery.”
I found a smile when I looked up at him. ”It’s beautiful,” I said honestly, and he only nodded, before finally leading me to the blanket. And I couldn’t help but wonder, what sort of beast this was, who in spite of all the terror he inspired would still indulge his supposed woman in the beautiful simple things.
I sat across from him, unsure what to do. I barely even knew what to say, but he saved me from thinking of a conversation by bringing out a bowl of casserole, at least, I think it was casserole from the basket.
“I did not choose the meal, but you’ll find that the cook always does his best to make sure the food turns out okay,” he said simply as he dropped the bowl between us.
I nodded, not knowing how to reply to him. It said something about him that he took notice of the cook’s efforts.
He brought out two plates and filled them, handing mine. I muttered a “Thank you” but did not touch my food, but rather chose to watch him eat.
“Are you not hungry?” he asked after two mouthfuls of his own food, and I had still yet to touch mine.
I looked down at my plate, as though I had forgotten I held it, and looked back at him,
“I was watching you. You… make me wonder,” I said and quickly regretted my action, seeing as my words only caused him to look at me intently.
“Wonder about what, Lady Elinor?” he asked and took another bite. I poked at my casserole not from a lack of appetite but from seeking the right words.
“You’re gentle. How is it that you’re gentle even while being so stoic? You made sure this picnic came to be from knowing that I wanted one. What I don’t understand is, why?”
He did not interrupt me. Just listened while I finally voiced my inner monologue, all the while looking at my plate, not daring to look up at him.
“You’re an enigma, Emperor.” I finished, finally meeting his eyes. And still, he watched me with that stoicism that did not scare me, but still, I found myself wary of it. I found myself wary of his silence.
“What’s an enigma, Elinor?” This was the second time I had heard him use my name, and I liked the way he said it. Boldly, strongly, as though it carried weight. And to him, maybe it did. Was it crazy that I hoped it did?
“It means you’re a mystery, Emperor. I find you hard to figure out.”
He smiled a little, then he reached over and forked some of my casserole.
“I never intended to be a brain teaser, Lady Elinor.” He waited for me to open up my mouth, and when I did, he fed me. I didn’t take my eyes off him, even while I chewed, even when I swallowed.
I felt giddy when he forked more food and brought it again to my lips.
“You don’t intend to be, but you are,” I said once I had swallowed again. “One may think that they know all that there is to be known about you. One may expect you to do one thing, and then you go ahead and defy their thinking so that it’s obvious that no one really knows you at all. Then I guess it becomes safe to ask, who then is Emperor Fenrir and what is his true nature?”
I thought I had overstepped my boundaries by saying the things I said, for he watched me yet again with eyes so intense that I found myself falling deep within them, scared of my fall.
But he defied expectations yet again. He reached over and took my hand.
“What happens when you realise that what you seek could be the end of you?”
I gulped, fear, and excitement coursing through me in equal amounts. This was madness. Talking to him the way I did was madness. Digging as deep as I did was sheer stupidity, and still, I had no desire to stop.
I wasn’t in too deep, I doubted that I was, and then, I wanted nothing more. There was so much more to him than the things I had heard, maybe Claire had seen to that as well, and that was the reason he didn’t leave her petrified.
I wanted to know the Fenrir who didn’t leave me petrified. He asked if the knowledge of me would be the death of me?
The truth was, I didn’t think I cared anymore.
“You wouldn’t hurt me,” I said breathlessly, putting my plate to the side, drawing the basket away, so I kneeled in front of me. I was being impetuous. I knew it, I knew it. But I could not bring myself to back away from him.
Moments, go, I would have done anything to get away from him, and no, I was drawing closer. The irony was much too amusing.
“Don’t be so sure, young lass. I’ve been known to bring the lives of many women to an end. I am, as you should know by now, The beast.”
“You wouldn’t hurt me,” I repeated again, but this time not as certain as the first time. He didn’t draw close. He didn’t pull me in. But sat where he sat, unmoved by my imprudence.
What was I doing? What exactly?
I sat on my heels, before finally sitting on my rump, but I didn’t go back to my initial spot. I didn’t create any distance between him and me. Neither did he.
Satisfied with the new situation, I reached for my plate and began eating while he watched me with amusement.
“Lady Elinor of Pedron,” he said enthusiastically as I fed myself. It sounded like hail, but I didn’t rise to it. I did not know how to. Maybe I amused him, but I figured it was better to amuse him rather than irritate and annoy him. So I guess it was safe to say there was some kind of growth in our relationship.
However, I did not have a reply and had no idea what to actually say. I had extinguished my daily quota of bravery and communication.
“If you’ve shown me anything today,” he began, “at least it’s the fact that you have got pure nerve and courage. That much is obvious.”
And I grinned so much that my nose twitched with it.
Having a picnic with the emperor was not that bad an idea after all.