I heard the tone from my phone in the blackness of my sleep. My eyes shot open, staring at the ceiling of my room, stinging with lack of sleep and makeup from the previous night smeared around my face. My phone chimed again, and I remembered to look at the screen, squinting to see and willing my vision's morning blur to lift quickly.
NATSU-CHAN, COME HAVE BRUNCH WITH ME.
The text was from Hina. As soon as my eyes drifted over the last letter of the text, my phone screen lit up with a call. Hina's name again danced across the screen. "Hina-chan?" I answered.
"Natsu-chan, are you up? I'm outside your building! Come out and have brunch with me, I'm lonely and hungry."
Ask she spoke, I rose from the bed regretfully and staggered to the balcony door across the room. I slid it open and stepped outside to see Hina standing alone on the sidewalk. As she spoke into the phone, her voice became pleading and whiney, her attempt at sounding cute to get what she wanted. She turned to face my balcony, her face lit up, and she waved over her head to me.
"I'm coming, I'm just going to change."
"Hurry up, I'm waiting!"
Saturday early afternoon in Kamakura was usually full of students out to eat, grabbing coffee, shopping the small local business lined streets for accessories to wear to school, and visiting the local temples to pray for good grades. That was all Kamakura was in my eyes. The same, predictable sights and sounds every day, the smell of the sea staining everything. The cafe we sat in was Hina's favourite place to go on Saturday morning, and I went along with her nearly every time.
I had propped my elbow on the table, leaning forward to hold my head with my palm, relieving some of the weight from my tired shoulders. Hina trotted back to the table happily but carefully, setting two mugs on tiny plates onto the table and sliding one toward me. "You look like you really need this." She said, settling into her chair across the table from me. "Did you enjoy the show last night?"
I perked up at her opening and the opportunity to talk about what I had discovered. "I really enjoyed it!"
"I had a feeling you were the type to secretly listen to metal music while you study."
"Listen, did you know Guardian is from Kamakura? They started here after dropping out of high school." Despite myself, my voice gave away the excitement I felt to have discovered this new world of concert viewing, and this band who gave me a peak into what that life was like. Something different. Something so extraordinary came from the same city I was in, the same life I lived of mundane repetition.
Hina laughed behind her mug cradled between both of her hands. I could tell she was finding enjoyment in my sudden happiness. We spent an hour talking back and forth, sharing facts about the band, agreeing on what made them great, and discussing the show. As soon as a lull of silence settled between us, and we had run out of words, Hina pushed her dishes away from her.
"I have to run some errands for my family, do you want to come?" She got up and gathered her decorative backpack, slinging it effortlessly over one shoulder.
I shook my head, rising from my chair to meet her. "I'm going home to study since I lost some time last night going to the show."
"Of course you are, I figured you'd say that." She folded her hands one on top of the other in front of her and bowed to me. It wasn't a serious bow, just a show of her playful personality. "Good luck, Natsu-chan. Better stop at the shrine on your way home so you don't have to keep working so hard."
I knew she was having fun, but as I watched her skip out the cafe door and clutched my shoulder bag's strap, the thought of walking through the shrine did not leave a sour taste in my mouth. I glanced toward the takeout counter, and discovering it empty, strolled up to order a coffee to take with me.
Clutching the warm cup with both hands as I walked, the sun was warm on my black hair. Spring was coming to an end, summer closing in, and the air was beginning to become humid. My oversized t-shirt was warm enough, the sleeves reaching nearly to my elbows, and my plain jeans would stick to my legs with sweat by the time I returned home. It was some form of comfort to clutch the coffee cup so tightly. I noticed for the first time in years how the flowering trees were in full bloom lining the sidewalks, and the space, straight fence posts leading up the shrine's walkway were flawless. Under my feet, I could feel through my worn shoes when the concrete merged with the cobblestone, and all around me as I closed in on the Tori gate to the shrine, the colour red gave contrast to the blue of the clear sky. Although mundane, repetitive, and any other insult I had called it, Kamakura was beautiful. For an instant then, I could understand why there were some people on this earth who wanted to spend their lives in that city.
I skirted through the crowd to the left side of the Tori gate and gave it three pats with my flat palm as I passed under it. The walkway leading up to the shrine was lined with stalls, some selling food, some selling souvenirs, and I really looked as if it were the first time I had visited with my eyes fully open. The smell of savoury soy sauce and salt was soaking the air as tendrils of smoke from open grills circled the garden.
"Excuse me, sorry, excuse me." I heard a voice that was somehow familiar, and it caught my attention to look around me for a face I recognized. Maybe Hina had decided to follow me into the shrine to see if I would take her suggestion seriously.
I saw a man crouched in the middle of the walkway, holding a camera and waving slightly to identify himself as the voice. "If you don't mind being in my photo, would you just act like you're looking at that stall there?"
Surprised at his request, I hastily nodded, shifting my weight from one foot to the other as if to steady myself, and set my gaze to the stall across the walkway. I held my coffee cup tightly. "Yes of course, I don't mind!" I called back to him.
"Great, now can you take a drink from your cup? But don't move your body."
I lifted the cup to my lips, still with both hands, and took my first sip of the warm, sweet coffee inside. I closed my eyes as I drank to focus in on my sense of taste, and I felt a small smile come over my lips as I took a deep breath of the aroma from the cup.
"Thank you so much!" The man called, breaking my concentration. "Do you want to see the photos?"
I nodded and began to walk quickly toward him, my eyes settling on his face, and my mind searching his features. He turned the camera's small preview screen over in his hands, and I had to step in close beside him, peering over his arm to see.
"You looked so beautifully at peace in this scenery, I thought it would make a great photo." He said. "Do you have social media I can send it to you on?"
I looked up to his face as I reached for my phone in my pocket, but halted my every movement. I stared at him still looking at the photo on the preview screen, unable to move until he turned his attention to me. "Aki-san?" I said.
He smiled, reaching up to brush a bleach-blond strand of hair as a gesture of embarrassment. He stood straight before me, and bowed slightly. "Yes, Hasegawa Akira. Pleased to meet you." As he uprighted himself, he reached a hand out. I took it and nodded my head in a bow.
"I'm Sugumori Natsuko."
"Are you a fan of Guardian? I thought I was safe out here, but I guess when you come home to perform, everyone is looking for you."
"I was at the show last night!" In my head, all the information I had learned in such a short time about this man and his career circled, and I searched for the right thing to say. "I enjoyed it so much. It showed me a glimpse of another world past Kamakura."
"That is the goal. We are all from Kamakura, born and raised here. I love to travel for shows but I love coming back home as well."
I expected him to say goodbye and escape my presence, but he seemed to be waiting to hear what I had to say next. "I've been finding Kamakura boring lately." I said. "It's repetitive and there's only so much you can do. You end up doing the same things over and over."
He nodded as if he agreed with me, a knowing sort of nod. "I used to think the same thing about this city." His attention seemed far away, as if he had begun to recall a distant memory. "I wanted to see the big city with lots of commotion and loudness. And then I saw it, and it became repetitive too." He looked at me again, drawing himself out of his reminiscence. "It taught me to really appreciate what's in front of me right now."
I was caught staring at his face but not really seeing it, rolling his words and the sound of his voice over in my head. He lifted the camera again in a gesture.
"Do you want me to send you these photos?"
"Oh, yes." Still holding my phone open, I offered the screen to him so he could see my social media account username. He pressed a few buttons on the camera and gave a satisfied nod.
I bowed deeply to thank him for the trouble, thinking I would cherish these photos of myself that a man I admired had thought were beautiful. This change meeting had already set my life in motion, and I couldn't stop hearing his words playing over in my mind, "it taught me to really appreciate what's in front of me right now". I took a step back, ready to continue toward the shrine, when he lifted a hand toward me as if he couldn't think of anything to say quickly enough.
"Hey, this place has changed so much since I've been here last." He said, following me with his gaze as I tried to walk away. "Maybe if you have some time, you wouldn't mind showing me around the shrine grounds."
Looking back at him with a hand behind his head pretending to fix his hair, an embarrassed looking smile on his face, I couldn't tell that this was the same man who came alive on stage during the show the night before. In my memory, I overlaid the lights, the glamour, the sounds, onto him, and for a moment I was ready to believe that Aki, frontman of Guardian, was requesting my company. The interaction felt so natural, so effortless, and he was just a regular guy getting lost in the crowd. No one recognized him. No one was looking for him.
"Why me?" I asked. I wanted to challenge him, push the boundaries of my imagination just in case.
"You're a fan, and you're cool." He said with a light laugh, shrugging slightly. "I already took your picture so maybe that helped you see me as a little more human, and it wouldn't be so weird of me to ask."
In that setting, in his jeans, sleeveless shirt, and open flannel, he wasn't from another world. His bleached hair smooth and falling neatly, his black casual boots, he fit in as part of Kamakura. He wasn't there to transport me anywhere, he wasn't going to get me lost in the lights and loudness. He existed, he drew breath, and he was enjoying his existence just in that moment.
"Sorry, I don't mean to sound forward." He shook his head, lifting a hand to wave it dismissively in the air. "You must think I'm just trying to get girls." He held up the camera. "Thank you for the photo. I'm glad you enjoyed the show last night, and I'm glad I met a cool fan."
He turned to walk away without another word spoken, and everything in me scream to stop him from leaving. I didn't have any reason, I didn't know what I would say to him, but I knew if he left my sight, if I let him walk away because I had been too scared to say something, I would never see him this way again. As much as it scared me to be forward and ask him to stay, it scared me more to think I might lose the opportunity to experience him.
"Aki-san!" I took a few steps quickly toward him in an effort to show with my body language that I wanted him to stop. "It's so strange that we met like this today, but it must be for a reason. I would really like to spend more time with you."
He smiled, and I could see the way his face had been pulled downward with disappointment, and the contrast in the way it upturned when I spoke my feelings. "Firstly, you mind showing me where you got that?" He pointed to the coffee cup I still held with both hands.
We left the cafe walking slowly, without purpose, and I didn't really see my surroundings at all. I walked with instinct, and the world seemed blurry as if to put focus on Aki. As I stole glimpses of him from the corners of my eyes, he seemed to have a contented smile on his face, holding his small coffee cup close to his face with one hand. I could hear him take deep breaths and I smiled to myself as I did the same thing, knowing he was enjoying the smell of the coffee in his cup.
"Why are you out here alone, anyway?" I asked to break the silence, out of curiosity, realizing I should take the opportunity to learn as much as I could.
"We've been on tour lately." He said, and I prepared to soak up every word he spoke. "I missed Kamakura. We're back home for now, but who knows how long it could last before we're out on tour again. I wanted to see more of the city, since every time I've been home lately, I haven't had the energy to even leave my house. Then it's off on tour again. I feel like I haven't seen home for years." He had a distance type of nostalgic expression, as if he was playing a memory before his eyes.
"I guess your band doesn't feel the same way."
He shook his head, laughing softly. I noticed the way his face softened when he smiled was almost childlike, like he was truly happy every time. "No, they prefer to drink all night and celebrate a successful show with the groupies, you know, rockstar stuff."
I slowly nodded in understanding, expecting the answer, and looked at my shoes meekly. "You can't tell me you're not into that stuff."
He was silent for a beat, and I could feel the air around him become chilled just for a moment. "I want to take advantage of all the beauty this world has to offer, and I can't do that drunk or with a hangover."
I knew from the way he tensed that wasn't a simple answer and tested how far I could pry. "That sounds like experience talking."
"A lesson a dear friend taught me some years ago. Something not many people know about me." I decided to leave it at that.