I'm literally crying because of how long this chapter took. it isn't even that long. it was just stressful to make, AND i am so behind on schoolwork at the moment. my DEEPEST apologies-ellie
p.s.- despite popular belief, there is no "PG-13" concepts. it's just the idea. HOWEVER! it is coming soon😉
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You and Eddie ate lunch and just crawled into a taxi. Your head rested on his shoulder. Eddie was in a playful mood. His smile was so bright it made your eyes hurt. Eddie kisses you on the cheek, and proceeds to pretend it didn't happen. He turns towards the window. "What?" you whine, still smiling. "Hm?" he turns towards you. You roll your eyes. "You're so confusing, Munson." Eddie's eyebrows rise, "back to last names are we? That's fine, Mrs. Munson." Butterflies. You shove his shoulder playfully, "you don't get to call me that." Eddie crosses his arms, "and why not?" "That's not my name," you frown. "Yet," he adds. Your eyes widen. "Well you better hurry up," you joke. "I'm in no rush," he looks out the window. You almost forget you are in a car. You turn to the side and lay your head on his lap. "What?" he laughs as the vibrations from his voice traveling down your body. He plays with the straggling pieces of hair that are framing your face. "Hm?" you mock him. He squishes the sides of your face. "Stop," you laugh, but it sounds even funnier because of the shape of your mouth. Eddie giggles. You turn your head, facing Eddie's stomach. You rest there for a moment, bored and unsure of what to do. You lift up his shirt and Eddie gave you a funky look. You blew on his stomach, making his skin vibrate. He instantly laughed and pulled your head by your hair. "Ow!" you shout pulling your head up slightly. "Don't tickle me!" he laughs, the feeling still imprinted on his skin.
You were practically thrown out of the taxi and onto the edge of the beach that is just off the road. You inhale salt as you breathe. The scent, so strong, it stung your eyes. But you loved it. You practically sprinted to touch the sand. The feeling of it between your fingers pleased you beyond imagining. You kneeled to the ground, kicking off your shoes. Eddie had a pleased look on his face. "Enjoying yourself?" he chuckles, speaking to no one in particular, although you were the only person in his general direction. You tried to grab the sand. You had no idea why the concept made you obsessive. When you look up, Eddie was pulling his shirt over his head. You stare at him, smiling. He kneels in front of you, "May I?" He tugs at your shirt, and you lift your arms. Eddie gawks at your swimsuit. It wasn't much of a surprise. You smile at him as you unbutton your shorts. He falls back onto the sand, staring into the sly now. You begin burying him in the sand. He laughs and begins to help you.
You pack down the last bit of sand, and Eddie's entire body- except his for head- is covered. You lay on top of him. He doesn't move. He might have fallen asleep. You close your eyes, because the sun is incredibly bright. The sun touched you as carefully as it could, but all it did was burn your delicate skin. Maybe that's what happened to your mom. Maybe the only way she could touch you was by burning you. You feel the sand slowly lift and tumble. You look at him, and he already has his hands on your hips. You bit your lip as he kissed your already sandy face. You weren't sure if you scared or excited for you and Eddie to get...PG-13. Your past only made everything worse, especially Jason. You get from off of Eddie. He sits up and looks confused. He looks down at your hands, which you were tapping your fingers nervously. Eddie wipes his confusion off his face and comes to comfort you. "Are you okay?" he asks so gently. Can Eddie burn you? "I- uh-" Suddenly, words don't exist. Eddie sits you down. He pulls you in his lap, and you curl into a fetal position. Eddie didn't know what to say, and neither did you. "Eddie can't burn you," you decided. "What?" he asks, trying to look at you. "Nothing," you stand up, but Eddie sits you down. "You need to talk to me, Ellie." You shook your head, "no! I don't want to ruin every day we have here." His eyebrows furrow, "ruin them?" Don't cry. Don't cry. "All I do is make everything about me, and my problems, and I just want to have fun." Eddie licks his lips as he thinks of what to say. "You don't ruin them." "You don't have to lie," you swallow hard, "I always break down at our happiest moments. I ruin the happy moments." "It's not a happy moment if aren't both happy." Eddie tries to stand his point. You look down. "What's the matter?" His hand behind your ear. Your head leans forward, relaxing on his chest. "Your love is my therapy," his fingers tracing up your back, "no drug could help me, like you do." "I can't stop thinking about Jason," you blurt, "about what he did to me." Your voice but you didn't cry. "I'm no therapist," he blurts out, staring into nothingness, "but I know something that might help." You sit back a little. "Just convince yourself it never happened," his voice was deep, numb. It wasn't the worst idea. If you kept telling yourself it never happened, maybe you would forget it altogether. "At least until you are ready to face it," Eddie adds. Why would you want to face it? You close your eyes, take a deep breath, and stand up. Eddie stares up at you. You sprint towards the ocean, collapsing into the water. The water was quite cold. Freezing to be specific. It's maybe 60 degrees (F). Eddie, of course, chased after you, and shouted a string of curse words when he touched the water. You took this time of vulnerability to full on pounce on him. It took him by surprise, and he fell, on his back, into the freezing cold water. Eddie pulled the both of you up and out of the water. "Fuck," he mumbled, "why did you do that." He tried his hardest not to laugh. "Because," your fingers trace his shoulders. You can hear your heartbeat. You stumbled backwards and try to pull yourself together. Eddie mutters under his breath, but you swear you heard him say no. He's pulling you close. His hands traveling your body. You're wearing close to nothing, which makes you nervous. His hands reach your hair and you can't breathe. So desperate. Your lips meet his. Eddie kisses you with hunger. Like it is the last time he will ever see you. Eddie always kisses you with purpose, every single one perfectly planned out, never sloppy. There's an explosion in your heart, a feeling you've never felt before, let alone explain. The feeling makes your body ache. Your heart skipped too many beats. He pulls you up, and closer. You gasp. You could feel the waves gently brushing past the two of you. Eddie finally pulls away, smiling. His eyes nearly sparkle. He's looking at you. Looking at you like you are everything. Your foreheads are touching, and you don't look away from each other. "God, I love him," you thought.
After a few hours, you and Eddie were laying on the sand. Eddie is tracing his hands on your skin in no particular pattern, just as an excuse to touch you. "Are you almost ready to go?" you suggest softly. He doesn't speak for a moment, and you have no idea why. "If you insist," Is all he says. You pull his face to yours, kiss him softly, and get up. Eddie, a little saddened by your sudden movement, follows behind you, trudging slowly. You slide on your shorts and shirt. You grab Eddie's shirt, "what?" You look at his pouting face. Eddie is a drama queen when he wants to be. "I don't want to leave this moment." You bite the inside of your cheek. He grabs the shirt from your hand and slides it on. "We can stay for longer if you want," you compromise. Eddie begins to walk to the road. "Eddie?" you run after him. "Yes?" he turns around, as if he bluntly ignored what you said. "We could stay-" you tried to continue. "It's your day, Ellie," he smiles, not bothered, "I don't care about anything except that your happy." "But if you aren't happy, I will be sad." You frown. He chuckles to himself, "I'm happy." You smile, and Eddie picks you up and sets you on his shoulders.
Luckily, the pier was only a few blocks away. Eddie set you on the ground once you got there. You hope you didn't hurt his back or shoulders on the walk there. "Two tickets, please," Eddie began talking to the people up front. You just kept staring at all the rides. As a kid, you were more of a scaredy cat, but relaxed as you grew up. The more you think about it, you didn't really grow up. You grew closer to death, and you grew less scared of it as you grew older. If something terrible happened, you simply would let it happen. Now, you have a reason to fear it. Eddie is walking into the gate and you subconsciously follow him. "Hey," he turns around to face you, "are you okay?" You finally break your focus, "yeah, sorry, I was super zoned out." He checks in your eyes to make sure you weren't lying, which you weren't. Eddie wraps his arm around your shoulder, "where to first?" You think for a moment before pointing to one. (I tried to make it as VAGUE AS HUMANLY POSSIBLE, but whatever, it's your story, well it's mine technically)
You fiddle with your fingers as you wait for Eddie to come back with the food. It is lunchtime or maybe closer to dinner, and, for once, you're pretty hungry. You didn't want to think about it so you wouldn't get upset. You listened to the sounds of the rides around you. You close your eyes. It is incredibly easy for you to zone out. "Ellie?" Eddie says snapping. Your eyes shoot open. The scent and sight of corndogs are displayed in front of you. "Yes. Uh- hi." "You okay?" So gentle. You can't say yes, he won't believe you anyways. "I just wanted to get my mind off of food," you gulp. Eddie gives you a weird eye, "so that I wouldn't get upset about the idea." His face softens, "oh. Thank you for telling me about it though. It's okay if you're not hungry." "No, I am," you quickly say, pulling your plate towards you. He almost says, are you sure? You beat him to it, though. "I'm sure, Eddie." You see a soft smile form on his mouth. You eat your entire meal. Eddie stared at you the entire time. "You're a weirdo," you giggled. He shook his head and looked down, picking up his corndog.
Eating is a normal thing. Why was it ever not. "I want eating to not be a worry," you thought to yourself, but didn't want to say out loud. Suddenly, you didn't want Eddie watching you every second of the day, just because you had a history of starving yourself. It only reminded you more of what happened. Eddie scrutinized you, attempting to read your face. Nothing is wrong. You pick up your paper plate and throw it away. Nothing is wrong. Eddie glances at you as you sit back down in front of him. Nothing is wrong. "Ellie, are yo-" he muttered softly. "NOTHING IS WRONG!" you shouted. Oops. Nothing is wrong, is the only truth. Nothing was wrong, and nothing will be wrong. Everything is fine and it will be forever. "That's not very believable," he rolls his eyes. "I just don't want you to ask, because it's fine. I'm just fine!" You don't want to have the line of lies in your voice. Because nothing is wrong. Nothing is upsetting you. Eddie respects your decision and doesn't speak of it.
You ride this green-looking coaster, clinging to Eddie the whole time, obviously. The drop was so steep, it was almost inverted. Eddie had dared you to ride it with your eyes closed. So, there you were, at the top of this striking green roller coaster, eyes closed like a scaredy-cat idiot. But you weren't scared, Eddie being there only made it easier. "I still can't believe you did that," Eddie laughs, holding your hand as the two of you walk down a quieter, less crowded area of the pier. "It really wasn't that bad," you chuckle. "Shit," he rubs the back of his neck, "it was scary, and I had my eyes open." He emphasized the word 'open' and put his fingers around his eyes. You reach the end of the pier finally. The ocean was absolutely beautiful. Breathtaking was a better was to describe it. For a woman who has only seen the sea maybe once in her pathetic life, it was breathtaking. It was golden hour, the hour the sun turns the world into a shining metal. Eddie was a perfect candidate. His face not studying the ocean, but rather fixed on you. You turn to his, but he doesn't look away. He doesn't care. His face, suddenly, was covered with this gold. This beautiful light. You want to drink it up. It will taste like life, you convince yourself. It's so warm so warm so warm. It almost blinds you. You wonder if you too are covered in this mysterious gold.
"What's on your mind?" Eddie asks gently. You didn't answer, for you had already answered him in your head. There was a brief moment of silence of him waiting, and you carefully examining him. You suddenly remembered that he had asked, "how pretty the sun reflects off of your face." Immense eye contact. Eddie's facial expressions soften, but don't change. "Great minds think alike," a soft smirk. You both slowly inched closer, unknowingly as if it were instinct. You couldn't tell if it was making you nervous or excited. Your eyes dart off for a moment, stopping Eddie's inching. You became upset, and aggressively grabbed his chin. Shocked, Eddie leaned forward. You were shorter than him and he towered over you. Eddie's hands carelessly landed on you hips, slowly pulling you closer. Eddie was kissing you like your lips were air, and yet, the both of you couldn't breathe. His touch had already been memorized on your skin, but you are still shocked by it all. His quiet grunts carefully chant in your ears. Your arms drape over his shoulders.
This is never ending.