i was angry Dale left and never called and letters stopped coming. It felt like my real dad was just trying to buy my love taking me to candy stores and Target. He was a landscaper and worked long hours so it wa sjust his girlfriend and I most days. She was nice in the beginning. I learned never to trust the beginning. I knew they didnt want me there anymore than I didnt want to be there. Regardless of how I was forced to stay in the full basement at Dales I missed it there. I wanted to be back.
My dad didnt understand it. He was the type who believed you can "just get over it". Little did he know he was adding to the trauma of the childhood I had already endured. He didnt believe childhood trauma had any effects on people.So I learned to suffer in silence until I started to run away again. First time was because he started drinking and I figured if he could throw money away so could I.
I gave a kid $50 and watch the entire school behave like rabid dogs. Fighting over a piece of money like animals. It was entertaining until I got in trouble. I left with a friend I had made and he found me and told me I had two more strikes. The second strike was me failing in school. I fogot my three times each and ended up bringing home the progress report and had everything taken from me. I didnt care. Dale was gone. Nothing else could hurt me, or so I thought.
One night it was me and my dads girlfriend having dinner and she blurted out how much she hated my brother. "If he got hit by a train and was still alive Id hit him with a shovel" I told my brother what she said on the phone and my father was angry at me for it. "You dont tell people what she says to anyone". He is your son and you are defending her? She locked food up for christs sake. Thats who you want to marry? Thats what I thought in that time.
I didnt understand why he wouldnt defend his son. Later in life I knew this man would always choose his lover over his children and I hated him for it. For the next few months things just got worse. Id hear them talk about what they were going to do that I was "too much" for them to handle. I had enough worrying about when the next pin was going to drop so I ran away again. That was the final straw for him.