Why do I let you control everything... my emotions, my feelings, my day? You have a way of making my day feel terrible, my thought process. You make me overthink literally everything, do they love me? Why did I say that? Is it really all my fault? I am always scared to go to school, half the people in my grade do not like me or they think of me in a bad way. Say things that are not true. Or is it just me thinking those things? I am on medication and that is not really helping. I might need a higher dose. But that one person I will not let go of haunts my every move, I am never going to be over it. I am a problem, ha. I have done all these things to feel loved that is not healthy. Sending pictures, running back to people that are supposed to be in my past. I just cannot let go. Some people could just let go of someone that just left... But I cannot let go. I have too many things wrong with me. Why do I care so much? I should not even care but I do. No matter how many times he does me wrong I will keep going back with the thought he might love me again. I would do anything to feel loved but that is not healthy and that sucks... I hate my brain, you are my biggest trial, my biggest regret. I should not care as much as I do. I am a mess and a problem. There are so many things wrong with me. Day, after day, after day. I am a problem... I think my "Friends" secretly hate me... but hey... everyone leaves anyways, right? So, what is the big deal... I am used to it. Always have been. Everyone will leave eventually. They always do.
ALWAYS...