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Chapter 17 - I'm not okay

I am not happy. I do not know what to do... I have not been in the best mindset lately and I just feel like it is getting worse... nothing is helping... I just need to get my mind off everything instead of being a depressed bean I guess you could say... I am getting attached again... just to be heartbroken again... It is going to happen... I am scared to fall in love again... I really am. I do not want them turning out like Riley again... I really do not want them to be like Riley, that is what I am so afraid of. I want to be happy and not think of Riley anymore. I do not know why I still do. I need to take some time to myself... maybe that will make me happier or even happy again. I am not sure. Maybe I need to stop depending on people so much I guess you can say, I still worry about a lot of things... I just do not know why I am sad all the time... I do not know why I am, and it sucks. Maybe it will get a little better soon. (I hope...)