"You have to be fucking kidding me." I told my autistic cousin after he told me that I was supposed to participate in the 'Youth Devil Tournament'.
A fucking tournament arc? Does he think this is xianxia? Should I come in way stronger than my observable power so I can face slap the shit out of everyone that is rude to me?
"Let's for a minute imagine that we aren't in a world where I can destroy the entirety of my peers with a particularly violent fart. What am I supposed to get for participating in this?" I asked Ajuka as he looked at me with that lazy and bored face he always sports.
"Bragging rights, fabulous prizes, fame, the adoration of the masses." Ajuka seemed less and less invested with each point he made.
"I told Michael he is a disobedient little brat to his face and am currently in talks of getting his sister, the luscious Gabriel in exchange for some swords." I stated, "I conceptually own all things made by human and devil hands, and I have never given a single fuck about what the 'masses' think."
"Well shit." Ajuka sighed, "We are at a major impasse."
Taking out a joint, Ajuka sparked up with a flaming thumb and puffed away without even thinking of offering a toke.
God, I hate this ass.
"With Agares and Gremory out on account of the spawn you put in them, interest in the Youth Devil Tournament is at an all time low." He let out a heart shaped smoke ring which broke before turning into a sad face, "Basically the only way we are going to be able to secure the advert revenue is by playing up you as a bad guy that the other young devils are going to be gunning for to avenge all the broken hearts who fantasize about sleeping with your girls. We need you to take the role and really ham it up. Rub your dick in everyone's faces so to speak so they tune in the hopes that someone smashes your lazy fucking face in."
"So you need me to roll up and make fun of everyone for being nerds and virgins, show off my abs, wear sunglasses indoors and at night, and walk around with beautiful women on each arm?" I asked and Ajuka nodded, "This is the role I was born for!"
The joint fell out of his lazy mouth.
"That would be so perfect." he smiled for the first time in I think the entirety of my memories, "If you can do some interviews with various news outlets and one or two with Serafall that would really rub some dirt in the collective eye of the species."
Reaching across the coffee table we shook hands.
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Showing up at the Youth Devil Gathering with Rias and Seekvaira both showing their pregnant bellies in wonderfully tight cocktail dresses certainly set the stage for my ascension as the one true enemy of male devilkind.
There was no way to shock these people by showing up in a garish suit as despite this being a high society event, the sophistication of the attendees truly spanned the divide between fantasy nerds to 80's sci-fi. So attending in a cream and blue paisley suit with a navy waistcoat and blue silk tie was a slap in the face to them anyways. My sky blue pocket square, ivory cufflinks, and blue suede shoes completed a well discerned look that put me head and shoulders above these troglodytes masquerading as the upper crust.
And my navy sunglasses completed everything just right.
"Agares!" the younger cousin of Falbium Asmodeus shouted, "If you wanted a virgin purging you should have come to me!"
Rather than let Seekvaira respond, I instead spat a loogie at the man that struck his face and shot him across the room to crash into the wall.
"There is no point in having a tournament if I am a participant." I spoke in a low tone, but magic carried my voice across the room, "All I see is wasted energy, lacking purpose… direction. You assume you are free, but my presence puts that to lie. Only power can break your chains. Who here truly wields that force. Only me."
A call of 'asshole' got another loogie launched, this time at some upjumped reincarnated devil.
Despite the presence of chairs, nearly everyone mingled on their feet, so I led my party to table and Rias, Seekvaira, and I sat ourselves down. Everyone had been allowed to bring their peerage and I'd included Aika as a nonnegotiable plus one. After establishing her Attribute and Origin as Perception and Lust respectively, my favorite concubine had broadened her visual powers beyond being able to tell the size of a man's penis with just a glance. She could now see who was fucking who, and when, making her people watching skills exceptionally entertaining.
My new pawns, Rin, Sakura, and Illya took their cues from the Queen of Sheba who quickly developed a little network of simps, stringing them along with such skill that they would gladly give their lives for the chance to lick her feet. The girls took tuition at the knee of the master while Ingvild remained close at hand.
I'd not had the chance to interact much with the spacy Leviathan yet. Soon after she awoke her New Longinus Class Sacred Gear, Nereid Kyrie, activated. The enormous power it granted her had left the poor girl terribly unbalanced and with limited control. We'd been working with her on it, but I had more knowledge of use to her ability to control water than her ability to control dragons.
Basically in this world, Draconic x Deus, one where dragons and holy beings are the most powerful (with dragons taking the lead in that aspect) my little lavender haired sleeping beauty has the power to make dragons her bitches. How the fuck the nerfed Yahweh and his post mortem Heaven System have managed to make a Sacred Gear with an ability way beyond his own power is a mystery. One I intend to unravel some day soon when I sit my cold metal ass on the Throne of Heaven and plug myself directly into that glorious network.
While I pondered the beauty of that day, I spied with my little eye a little white cat girl running off to confront her sister out in the nearby woods.
"Excuse me ladies, I need to step out for a bit." I grinned.
"Catwoman?" Aika smirked.
"Catwoman." I nodded then faded away.
Presence Concealment: EX is like a Buddhist's wet dream, as I become one with the world and with my enormous power gain a fair bit of omnipresence, capable of simply appearing wherever I wish so long as I have the energy to make the transition. With my energy I have very little problem going from the earth to the moon, but Mars is pushing it a bit. For now.
As such it was no problem at all to simply find Kuroka's presence in the area and appear sitting in the branch above her, the great cat sage of DxD completely unable to know of my arrival and stay. Hell, even Shirone who had a line of sight on me after her arrival couldn't actually perceive me.
"You know what they say about curiosity and the cat?" Kuroka teased her little sister as she lay upon the branch below me in an black kimono that I know she uses magic to keep glued to her nipples allowing her to bare her shoulders entirely.
Though my favorite feature of her outfit is her complete lack of underwear. I don't enjoy my females flashing their beaver to everyone in sight, but it sure is one hell of a way to get my attention.
"Does she get fucked by the handsome devil she meets in the woods?" I asked and revealed myself to the stunned sisters, "My bad, was this supposed to be a big moment? The 'What it do?' line earlier made me think this was a more casual meet up."
"Dio!" Shirone eeped and backed up startled.
Playing it cool, Kuroka shifted into an even more sultry position on her back and looked up at me, "I do think that is how the story goes."
"Heyo!" Bikou, the monkey man who mostly looks like a man greeted as he came out of hiding, "Nice trick coming out of the woodwork there, as sages it is so rare to find anyone who can evade our senses."
"It is a simple thing for a man of unimaginable skill and power." I stated.
"And such humility." Kuroka smirked.
"Humility is a choice for me. It is the natural state for all others." I smiled down at her as she ran a hand up her flank before caressing her breast.
"Don't I remember hitting you with my staff last time we met?" Bikou teased as he flourished and twirled his magical stick around.
"The game isn't fun if I don't allow others to participate." I answered, "Would you have come out tonight to talk if I had sowed the seeds of ruin in your heart last time we met?" I materialized draped off the monkey man's back, my arms dangling over his shoulders as I spoke into his ear, "Are you truly brave, Bikou, or have you just never really felt fear?"
From the monkey man's shudders I think if he hadn't felt fear before, he certainly did now.
"What do you want, Dio?" Shirone demanded after she recovered from my sudden appearance.
From my place leaning on Bikou I tilted my head to look at the tiny girl, "To fuck your sister of course."
"Seems like you are more interested in fucking Bikou." The cat girl stated while still laying on her back.
"I considered it." I grinned as I shifted and rose out of the branch under her, grabbing her waist as she now rested on my chest and belly, "But raping your pal seemed like it might scar your precious little sister for life, and we don't want that now do we, Kuroka?"
The woman shivered as I whispered her name into her black cat ear, or maybe from me pinching her nipple. One or the other. She shuddered again when I pulled out a chrome Pawn Piece that ripple power through the fabric of local reality.
I grinned as I pressed the piece into the lovely expanse revealed by her décolletage, "I also want her to join my Peerage." I told the smaller cat girl.
"She's a murderer!" Shirone objected, "She killed her last master!"
I nodded my head, "Yes indeed she did."
"How could you possibly want her after that?" Shirone shouted.
I just laughed, "Am I supposed to blame her?"
"She abandoned me!" the little cat girl screamed.
"And there is the real beef." I whispered into Kuroka's ear, "You're never going to get through to her from the outside. Not as an outlaw that will run again. I will marry her master within the year, at which point Shirone will be my responsibility. You accept this piece right now and you are my responsibility as well, and our children… our children will be the gods of a new pantheon, leading armies across the sea of stars as we force all of creation to bow at our feet."
My pawn sunk into her chest without another word spoken between us, and the black cat woman quivered and gasped as her power transitioned from Ultimate class to Satan class.
As I enjoyed the breasts of my new concubine, the real party started back at the Gathering.