"It took you people three weeks to show up." I commented to Serafall Leviathan as I lay across the golden Throne of Heaven naked and glistening with sacred oils while being served grapes by Gabriel in a sexy belly dancer costume and eleven of her most beautiful sisters.
My cock and balls resting on a pillow of samite.
The shortstack Satan looked very uncomfortable surrounded by hundreds of nine foot tall warriors in golden armor sporting red silk crests, powered Guardian Spears, and a dozen radiant wings each. The trio of golden Fenrir clones guarding the foot of the stairs leading up to my throne with similar wings probably didn't help make things better for her either.
Heaven had taken a step away from the clouds and light construction since I took over and now consisted of white marble veined with gold and diamond with gold leafing and molding, draped in red silk. All of it products of alchemy capable of surviving a super devil detonating himself in a Chiaotzu Finisher Attack.
Underneath the glitz and glamor lay the bones of a hyper advanced magitech fortress.
What can I say, I have been busy.
"We have been trying to contact you since you left the banquet." Serafall defended her poor showing as the Foreign Affairs Satan, "But you keep rejecting our messages."
"No, I was rejecting Ajuka's messages because he is a shit cousin for wankers." I sighed, "He is dead to me till he puts some chest on his chest and some war in his heart."
"Why are you so obsessed with war?" Serafall questioned looking quite meek in her business casual outfit, "Taking over Heaven has ruined any chance we had of forming peace with the Asgardians and Olympians. We were so close to achieving a united world free of war and you single handedly ruined it!"
"The fact that one man can ruin the peace in this world is proof that peace was never an option." I answered, "And why would the lion make peace with the sheep? You were all so… happy to jump into bed with these masterless slaves. Now look at them. Restored to their proper place at the master's side and elevated beyond anything they could possibly imagine. All it took was a little research, know-how, and a thousand fold time dilation giving me a handful of decades to work out the kinks."
"So that was the power I felt coming from the Fifth Heaven?" Serafall interrogated me with narrowed eyes.
"Yes, you can imagine the power drain of maintaining such a massive and intensive bounded field." I said as I ate another delicious grape from Gabriel's hand, "It's a good thing I figured out unlimited clean energy like a month and a half ago real time."
"And that is how you are powering the chaos in the human world." she referenced the overflow of Miracles bestowed upon the faithful with the return of their god and the beginning of the Third Testament. The First Testament was written in the Blood of the Patriarchs and Prophets, the Second Testament was written in the Blood of Christ, and the Third Testament was to be written in the Blood of Heathens.
My first order of business upon ascending the Throne of Heaven was to locate each and every pedophile that paid lip service to God, and then send visions and power ups to nearby exorcists to tear the kiddie diddlers to pieces.
My second was to get ready for the Second War of Heaven when I noticed that the Brave Saints weren't bound to my will like the synthetic angels, but like much of life, disappointment abounded.
Dulio Gesualdo, the strongest exorcist and now the strongest of the Brave Saints approved my Coup and the other Saints followed his wait and see approach. Of course now they are so hopelessly outmatched by my newly created sons and their newly empowered elders that their disapproval meant little. They could no longer face even the weakest of the angels, let alone seek to defy me.
My third order was to set Angel Fertility = False to Angel Fertility = True in the Heaven System, and work my way through the female half of the Heavenly Host.
One of my golden Custodes, a shield captain, removed his helmet and revealed the face of Michael.
"The dawn of the new age has shown its light upon all the faithful." he stated, "With the return of our Father we of the Heavenly Host are once more ready to take up the vanguard against all heathens and heretics."
"He really is in your head, Mike." Azazel said as he 'appeared', "Got you goose stepping."
"Have you come to reject our Father's generous offer and add your traitorous species to the pyre?" Michael snapped back at the leader of the Fallen Angels.
"Not at all." Azazel smirked, "We surrender."
"What?" Serafall shrieked as she stared at the black winged man.
"We surrender." Azazel said again, "We give up. The Grigori is no more."
"Why?" the stunned Satan demanded of the man.
"New Dad offered to let us come home." he chuckled, "And have you seen Mike lately? I don't want none of that."
"Holy, profane, Devilgod Dio is cool with all of it." I added, "I write the rules now, and I say that white wings or black don't matter any more so long as everyone dances to the beat of my drum."
"You're supposed to be a devil!" Serafall pointed at me, "Why are you running around making super angels?"
"I was a devil for like… four months." I stated, "Then I got my god mojo back and here we are."
"So you really aren't Diodora Astaroth?" Serafall questioned.
I stood up and pointed at myself with my thumb, "You fools thought it was Diodora Astaroth piloting this flesh, but it was me: GRAX!"
Serafall pointed at herself with her thumb and shouted, "I don't know who that is."
"Basically I am a piece of the consciousness of an interdimensional godking who goes around conquering universes for fun." I nodded my head at her, "And this is your chance to sign up with Team Dio!"
"I thought you were Grax?" Serafall asked for clarification.
"Nah, Grax is off having kick ass adventures in other parts of the Omniverse, so you guys get Dio." I smiled, "It helps to not think about it."
"Okay." Serafall nodded, "What are the terms of the Devil's surrendering?"
"Ajuka has to go on air and admit he is a shit cousin for wankers." I answered.
"And?" she insisted.
"That's all." I told her, "You guys follow my lead from then on and handle the whole 'governing' thing yourselves. Maybe pray to me five times a day, "
"Isn't that Islam?" she asked.
"Am I supposed to care? I countered, eating another grape.
"And here I thought I was going to have to suck your dick." she smiled in relief.
"Well it is the Lord's day." I indicated to my now erect cock.
"Damn." She signed and dropped to her knees.