As Rias admired her new bright red Boosted Axe she shot a side eye at Dio as he and his small daughter talked about how they'd soon be 'having some old friends for dinner'. Multigenerational cannibalism was the straw that broke the camel's back (or was it a line in the sand?). Screw incredible power, wealth, and sex. She needed out of this relationship.
She just had one problem.
How do you tell God that you think you need to see other people? Especially when he is already seeing a lot of other people, and from the way her Queen seemed to hang off his arm and his every word, he'd soon be seeing another… vigorously.
As she thought about how to break up with Actual Cannibal God, Dio looked over at her and winked.
'Does he know?' her mind recoiled at the thought.
Fortunately her cat girl Rook took the heat off her by asking, "What is all this for?"
Dio grasped his fist in front of his face and grinned, "Interplanar Warfare!"
"Interplanar?" the cat girl questioned.
"Our universe vs theirs, winner takes all!" he laughed, "Honestly, we scale very well as far as power in the omniverse goes. People here don't hit much harder than what you'd see in most of the big Shonen manga or comic books, but our raw energy capacity allows us to keep those attacks coming. We can fight at the top level for a really really really long time. And though our power systems tend to be shallower than my love, it is multifarious as fuck so the odds of us running into anything we can't grapple with are low."
"Neat," Koneko stated, "but why though? And how shallow is your love?"
"Usually skin deep and for one night only." Dio grinned, "And cause it is fucking awesome."
"It doesn't sound very awesome." the cat girl sighed,
"But it is." Dio smiled, "You see, I could take a walk and kill the Asatru, Hindu, and Buddhist gods, the dragon's too, and I will cause fuck sharing this world is mine, but then I'd have to like, go out into space and find some aliens worth killing and there are no guarantees that in the cold expanse of space a guy will find enemies worth fighting. FORTUNATELY, the cats over in the ExE universe have already scoped out our universe for some PVP action. They'd have ran through us before I came around, but now we are in for a real treat of a war. Universe Vs Universe. That's what I'm about, girl. I have it all pictured in my mind. I've seen the end, and it is fucking tight."
"How tight do you like it?" Akeno flirted with the Lord of the Heaven's who changed course for wargasms to orgasms in a heartbeat.
"It's all tight when I'm involved." He grinned as she slipped a hand into his pants and jiggled the bulging cock that his leather pants fully failed to conceal.
"Pervert!" Koneko flatly stated at the display.
"It's cool." Emmy grinned as she took the hand of the cat girl who was almost as small as the child despite her being only nine years old, "She just wants Daddy to make her a mommy. Happens all the time."
"What have you seen?" the cat girl looked into the child's eyes with great concern.
"Much." Emmy answered. (Que I Have Seen Much from the Naruto Shippuden OST)
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Being in 99 places at once allows a man to become rather productive, and yet here I find myself slacking off at a temple in Kyoto praying to myself.
"Dear Dio, bring me foxy milf tiddies."
Instead of a yes or no, I sprung some kind of trap as some dipshits in fox masks and white Japanese robes emerged with swords drawn.
"Oh no, whatever will I do." I deadpanned as a little fox girl in a white and red shrine maiden outfit demanded I return her mother to her.
What does she think I am here for? Can't be the mayor of Fox Milf Tiddie City with no fox milf tiddies. That's just basic math. I should have brought Emmy along to explain math to this girl. Emmy gets it.
After beating up her masked pals and pet tengus, I found myself in the most horrid state of being imaginable. That of a responsible father.
Smack! Smack! Smack!
My hand delivered three hearty smacks to derriere of the young nine tailed fox girl.
"I'm soooorry!" she squealed.
"What for?" I demanded.
"For attacking you." Kunou shrieked and hoped to not receive any more discipline.
"And why is that wrong?" I interrogated the little girl bent over my knee.
"Because you're really strong!" she yelled so loud she went red in the face.
"That's right. When you attack strangers sometimes they are really strong." I instructed the girl, "That's why if you can't see their strength you have to stalk them for a bit till you figure out if you are strong enough to get the kill."
I felt… proud of my lesson. Is this how good parent's feel?
"Am I interrupting anything?" An old dude with a long beard and no fashion sense approached with a banging secretary behind him.
"Odin." I spat then changed my tone entirely "And the lovely, Rossweisse. Always a pleasure to see you, darling."
"It's a good thing you like her so much." Odin stated as he stroked his beard, "Cause I am giving her to you as tribute, so please leave Asgard alone."
"What! Lord Odin, how could you!" the beautiful white haired woman shrieked and backed away from the head of her pantheon.
"I'm old school, girl. If the guy needed gold or cows I'd be forking them over, but since he don't all I got is pussy. So say hello to your new master." the old guy commanded without an ounce of shame at his capitulation.
"Damn." I sighed, "Pussy has been offered in good faith. We have…" I paused to let out a single tear, "peace. For now. I'll give you a generation to raise up another stunner like her."
"That's mighty generous of you." Odin smirked.
"And you will keep my generosity secret." I told him, "If the other pantheons figure out I can be bought off by pussy I'll have no heathens left to slay."
"And we can't have that." the old warrior grinned.
"Can I get up now?" Kunou asked.
"Oh shit. Forgot you were there." I laughed as I let her up.