"You!" shrieked Rin at the sight of the slow clapping OG McChad Face Gilgamesh.
Though completely non threatening with his limp haircut, weak physique, and tracksuit, this was the Giga Chad who's legend begins with the men of Uruk praying to the gods to deliver them from a king who spends his days fucking all their wives and daughters rather than being king. So basically he is my brother from another mother, but without the disarming smile and EX on the douche.
"Archer!" Rin shouted while her hand glowed, "By the power of my command seals, I order you to destroy Gilgamesh with"
"Rin, NOO!" I shouted but she didn't stop.
"all possible power and skill!" she finished without even acknowledging my interruption.
Robotically I lifted my sword and sighed, "Gil, this is going to hurt."
Turning my sword around I plunged it into my chest and fell to my knees.
"Archer!" que the usual screams when shit like this happens.
"Finally, someone who understands their place in relation to this King!" Gilgamesh raised his hands with a look of ecstasy on his face at the sight of me.
I could walk off the sword in my chest. I could not walk off the purple fire that consumed me as a burnt offering.
As Gil laughed maniacally tongues of purple flame inscribed a massive summoning circle all across Fuyuki City and the surrounding country side, working their way inward. No one was laughing when all the Mana for hundreds of miles converged on a single space and materialized a naked man sporting a colossal, smooth, and tantalizing erection slick with the juices of conquest.
"Dafuq is this?" I asked and my question was answered with the influx of knowledge, power, and authority from my Archer incarnation, all amped to twenty upon fusion with my glorious devil bod.
Roaring with laughter I shouted into the air, "Sacrificing myself to myself to deliver this world from evil! How positively Jesus of me!"
"Bring the other one back mongrel, your nudity offends me." Gilgamesh commanded.
"Don't worry. That won't be a problem for long." I grinned, "After all, I feel quite compelled to destroy you with all possible power and skill, and while completely unsportsmanlike... I'm not one to turn down a lover's heartfelt desire."
The earth shook and from my core fired off several tidal surges of power radiating across all of creation, changing the art style several times over until the sky bled a glorious red and everything took on a sharper, more polished and reflective aesthetic. All the better to admire my transformation into a 6.66 meter tall Machine Devilgod, my body a perfectly articulated shining charcoal metal, with glowing purple nodes and coronas of energy crowning my six eyed head like so many halos. From my back emerged a pair of bladed mechanical wings sporting a pair of glowing purple turbines. Violet fire leaked out between the jagged 'teeth' of my maw, and the flexible articulation of my face allowed me to smile.
"It's a shame Gil, brother to my heart, that we must part with so little time together." I stated, "But it looks like Rin has called upon me to finish the work the gods failed, but of course it is only natural. When gods come up short, beseech the Devil."
The next instant found Gilgamesh impaled on the tip of my big anime buster sword. The ridiculous three meter blade no longer looking so oversized in my True Devilgod Form. Pulling the dying demigod off of my sword, I devoured him, even his hands and feet.
Though his power added only a trickle into the immeasurable expanse of my own, his wonderful Gate of Babylon mutated to include not only all the treasures made by mankind, but also all the treasures made by devilkind as well, meaning I can now launch giant gunman robots at hypersonic speeds at people if I really want to kill folks with raw money.
Speaking of money, I was now conceptually rich. The universes can no longer exist where I am poor. Neat. And if anybody has a problem with that, they can suck my anti-world beatstick Ea.
I shrank back down and things turned back to normal. With a snap I was dressed in the finest leathers, silks, and cashmere the Gates of Babylon could provide, ironically the materials sourced from my ethical and sustainable homunculi farms.
With a come hither gesture the Greater Grail appeared as a large floating golden chalice overflowing with the clear liquid power of eight servants of the highest possible caliber for this ritual.
"Archer?" Rin asked as she and her sister ran up to me with Illya in tow.
"Grand Foreigner now." I told her, "But really it's just me, Dio."
"How is this possible?" she demanded in that high and mighty tone of hers.
"Not much time to explain." I grinned as I grasped the stem of the Grail and drank deeply of it's contents, "Oh, that that good shit! Oh yeah. Who wants some Heaven's Feel! You get some Heaven's Feel!" I shouted pointing at Rin, "And you get some Heaven's Feel! And you get some Heaven's Feel!" To Sakura and Illya, "But first we got to secure our route out of here because summoning me has put this world on the fast track to Lostbelt and we need to leave before everyone is neck deep in Astral Phantasms, or worse… Counter Guardian Emo Fucktards."
With a sling ring like motion I totally didn't steal from Doctor Strange, I tore open a worm hole between my home in DxD and here that would grant Heaven's Feel to all who pass through it. As a devil, something felt completely right about bringing Humanity's Salvation into the world and immediately absconding with it.
I hustled the girls through the Gate of Truth as a bunch of different EMIYA's and their compatriots started popping into existence to drive me away.
I just flipped them the birds as I backed through the portal and fell across eternity, closing off Salvation behind me.
I got to glimpse streams of time floating by, existence playing out like thousands of little pictures on the wall as I returned back to when I was. All knowledge and possibility happening around us and it ended far too soon as we gently slammed into my oversized bed.
"I never thought I would have to scold you for taking summons during our time in the bedroom." Growled Aika as she lay in a silk robe atop the sheets next to where we landed, "But seeing as you picked up a trio of people straight out of a hentai, I can find it in my heart to forgive you if you do a little something extra for Mamma."
"Sorry, babe." I grinned, "I actually summoned myself by sacrificing myself to myself to deliver the world from the evils of a super douche."
"So you pulled a Jesus?" Aika smirked as she got on her hands and knees and pulled her robe up over her ass, spreading the promised land out before my eyes.
"It's good to be a god." I smirked as I dived in.
Servant: Diodora Astaroth (Grand Foreigner)
Parameters
Strength: EX
Endurance: EX
Agility: EX
Mana: EX
Luck: EX
Noble Phantasm: EX
Skills
Divinity: EX
Magic Resistance: EX
Independent Action: EX
Aim: EX
Battle Continuation: EX
Charisma: EX
Monstrous Strength: EX
Mana Burst: EX
Instinct: EX
High Speed Divine Words: EX
Presence Concealment: EX
Protection From Wind: EX
Throwing/Retrieval: EX
Self Modification: EX
Mind's Eye (Fake): EX
Valor: EX
Blood Rage: EX
Golden Rule: EX
Noble Phantasms
Cannibal King: EX
Absorption: EX
Dragon Piercing Shot: EX
Proto Excalibur: EX
Avalon:EX
Golden Fleece: EX
Runic Gae Bolg Soaring: EX
Nine Lives: EX
Enuma Elish Ea: EX
Gate of Babylon: EX