Next day I woke up at the sound of my alarm. It took me some time before I could actually stand up. I felt so tired. Another reason to hate school. I literally have to wake up when it is still dark outside and the sun hasn't even risen yet. Every day I wake up at 6am, not even 7am, but 6am. And all that so that I can go to school that starts at 7am. How can someone hate children so much, yet is still allowed to design school programs. Bull shit.
Outside was yet again freezing. I honestly don't know what else I could expect, it's still winter after all. This time I was at least that smart that I putted on some gloves. Thankfully I didn't forget about those.
The ride on the bus was long as and boring as always. What else to expect? The way days are repeating yet somehow still moving forward, really is something. I looked outside the window, the sun was yet to rise, and then we arrived at the stop.
I tried not to tear up from my tiredness, as I walked to my school. My legs where still hurting from PE we had yesterday. I just didn't wanna think anymore. Hearing people around me talking so much, really annoyed me. I was trying to concentrate on nothing, I don't need to hear your voices.
When the first class started I was, instead of listening the lecture, thinking about new designs I could put up on my online shop. I sketched them out as I didn't want to forget them. My memory wasn't the best, that is why I always hated when people putted you on a spot and asked you a question. Like my mind needs time to process stuff. And when I just can't remember something and they still persist that I remember, that is so overwhelming. I hate it.
My classmate used a phone and was playing a game. This ruined my connection on anything. I would tell the teacher, but that wouldn't solve anything, but get me hated by him. Not that I care, I couldn't even remember his name, but still.
Not so long ago, what was it, a week? My friend told me he has a crush on me. And I may have not been sure about that back then, but now I am and the thing is he isn't my type but at the same time I am too emotionally unstable to date anyone now. I have a feeling he doesn't like me, but the idea of me. I may appear like a innocent girl at first but I thought about committing suicide more times that I never even counted.
I heard one of my classmates ask a question about something a teacher just said, and so the teacher just ignored him. It's kind of ironic how everyone wants you to know everything, yet they won't tell you, and at the end you're graded on it. People also want kids to grow up as quickly as possible. Playing games or goofing around is deemed inappropriate, especially in schools. But this isn't the only way they want us to grow up quicker. Looking as if you're over 20 is deemed old and even children, when they are not even old enough to grasp the concept of it, are sexulized.
This world is broken, in a bad way. So many people only care about themselves and I get it, sometimes I even am one of them.
I decided to try to listen to teachers lesson. It was really hard to concentrate, but somehow I managed to understand enough. I just wish life was easier. It doesn't have to be with no challenges, it has to be more of them that make sense.
The teacher wrote something on the white board and think it was wrong. Since nobody corrected her and I was too scared to do it. Now I'll never know if that was right or wrong. Well I did wrote it down in my notebook, so that's that.
The classes was finally over and when I walked to my house I saw my neighbor. We were friends since we were little, I usually play with her some video games and we chat. I waved at her, this is exactly what I needed just someone to complain about life with or take mind of my life. Either works fine. I invited her inside and then followed her. She was like at home in my home. I said I'll just take some food from the kitchen and I was happily surprised to see the lunch already made. I took some and went to my room. Shelly sat down on my bed and pulled out her phone. We then played some games and chatted about anything that was on our minds. I also made a few designs and posted them online. I can just hope I get some sales. Usually most of my designs get no sales but a few of them get lots of them and it kind of balances out.
It gotten late and Shelly decided to go home, beacuse she also has some work to do. I started preparing for sleep and as I was putting the books in my school bag I remembered about the exam we have tomorrow. I cursed loudly and then grabed the books of that class and started learning. How could I forget something so important, and I even wrote it down!
It's not like I hate learning or anything, what I hate is learning just for the sake of getting a passing grade. Ironically learning languages for school makez me not study that language at all, beacuse every time I wanna study it, but something that I know won't be in the exam I just don't study at all. I know it doesn't make sense, my mind rarely does.
After learning for an hour I decided to go to sleep. Sleep is important after all and it already looks like I am going to fail this exam. Meybe I won't, but I honestly doubt it.
Anyhow sleep is important and I yet again scrolled on my phone for half an hour. Now, it is really time to go to sleep. I turned on the airplane mode on and turned off my phone, connected it to a charger and then went to sleep. For real this time.