When my alarm went off, I didn't want to stand up. My bed was nice and school wasn't. I tried to find a good reason on why should I go to school today, but I just couldn't. I was so unmotivated it was horrible. I layed in my bed for 10 minutes before quickly jumping off, when I realized how late it had gotten.
I panicked and rushed through the house, to get ready for school, and then on to the bus. I sat down, about to open a video on my phone when I realized I forgot to take it with me. I must have forgotten about it in all that panicking.
Well, I guess I'll just have to survive the day without my phone. Which isn't easy! I used to make design with it and I watched videos, now the time I could spent actually doing something will be wasted! I was so angry at myself for forgetting my phone at home. This isn't the first time I forgot to take something with me, but it definitely is first time I forgot to take my phone.
The bus finally arrived and I exited. This is going to be one hell of a day.
I somehow made it through the day, but now I had to do all the things I couldn't while in school. I started designing some new designs, cooked a meal and the more I thought about it, the more overwhelmed I became.
I had so many things to do, yet so little time. Little time in this day and little time in this life. I was so unmotivated, yet I still did everything I had to. Today was so horrible, that I just wanted to scream, and I would if the walls of our house weren't so thin, that you could hear everything through them.
Sometimes I wish I never existed at all, but then I remembered that it will be like that for me when I die.
Why do I think about death so often? Why does the thought of everything I do in the life not being important in the end always crosses my mind?
I know for sure this isn't something an average person experience, or at least it shouldn't be. It is so late and instead of going to sleep, here I am, wondering about life and death. I should go to sleep.
I am really tired and tomorrow is school, yet my mind just keeps on thinking about death. Not as in committing suicide, but more as in in the end of the universe when all the matter is transformed, when everything is still and nothing moves. Then it won't matter what I did. Or what humanity did. Nobody will be there to care. I know this might sound silly, but it drives me insane.
I know I should just start worrying if my crush likes me back or if I am pretty enough and well I worry about those things, obviously, since I am still a human, but these things seem so insignificant in comparison to death of the universe.
And so I closed my eyes and went to sleep.