"Are they going back?" I asked Nana Mia. it's been days that my family is not here and I have my time to roam around the hallway and even bother Mister Old grumpy dragon.
She shook her head and placed a guitar on my side. "They're not here, Rain told me last night that they still have a voluntary trip to some province to have a free check-up."
My head automatically nodded and acted like I'm sad but honestly...I had a devil smile inside of me exploding with overwhelming happiness. I sighed.
"Are you still there?"
"Of course I am. If I'm not here no one is holding your hand." I affirmed. Sometimes, I wonder if he's a lawyer.
he chuckled. "Just kidding, chicken is mad all of a sudden huh?"
"I'm not a fucking animal for pete's sake."
"Whatever you say, kiddo." He smiled and look above. "Just tell me what you see and I'm contended with that as long as I can hear your voice."
I held my chest. This feeling is not normal anymore. I felt something weird and couldn't say what's with all of those.
It's not the way how you think but I'm just happy that they're not here especially Rain because without him means freedom, I can roam around the hospital, do a backflip, hunt some ghost patients and visit Kaios from time to time but nor everytime because I'm avoiding Nurse Kim since she have a bad attitude towards me, I don't know but that's all I notice every time. And everytime her eyes laid on me, she always give me a sarcastic look.
"Maybe, a week or two, they'll be back." Nana Mia smiled. I gave her a nod and take my dinner.
Few days will be my birthday and I'm 18, for the truth, I don't feel happy at all. Gaining another age won't do anything, they said I should be thankful for having another year but for me, it become my fear because this year might be my end.
I sighed and finished my food.
Nana Mia took a care of cleaning. After that, I take a half bath to freshen me up.
I'm on my pajama walking towards his room with a guitar on my hand and a cookies on my other hand. It's already midnight and I couldn't sleep, I feel so lonely all of a sudden after my mind occupied with thoughts. Just a little thoughts that really made me wanted to hit myself.
My brain said, I missed my brother! But myself says otherwise! I will never miss that gorilla! All he do is to being rude or even sarcastic that really made me annoyed...but somehow my annoyance towards him go a little lower than before after we spend our time on the beach.
I walked in and shut the door immediately. He's still awake and leaning on his headboard. I hop on the bed and crawled beside him.
"You're here again." He shook with a smirk on his face. "Why do you always come here at the times like this?"
I lean on the headboard and yawned. "It's the kind guy nurse's shift."
"Oh? and what's with that?" He raised a brow. "You want him to see huh?" it was bitter sarcastic.
I scoffed. "Idiot. His shift on you is 12 til 5 and Nurse Kim's shift is 5 til 11. I don't want to have encounter with her."
"Oh...why?" He asked and placed a blanket on his legs. I pulled some of it and covered mine too.
"I don't like how she looked at me. She's too sarcastic and I don't why... but honestly, I kinda like her less because of that." I said with honesty. I'm too opened to this guy and I don't even know why.
I placed the guitar on my lap and drum my fingers on it.
"Mmm."
"How about you?"
"What about me what?"
"Do you dislike someone?" I asked him. I opened the bag of cookies and shove on my mouth, it's a tiny cookies. I even grab his hand and place a single cookie on it. He didn't complain about those and I can already tell that he's opening up on me and I'm gaining his trust a little.
"Yeah." he nodded.
"Who?"
"You." he chuckled.
What fuckery is this?
My eyebrows furrowed with my eyes narrowed on him. My hands move as if it has his own mind and slap his shoulder.
He sneered with a grin. "Why? I'm just answering with honesty, what's wrong with that?"
"You're really bad!"
"Oh am I?" he asked and acted like didn't know a thing.
Aish, this Lawyer.
"Don't be like that!" I affirmed. He chuckled and didn't say a thing so I stayed quiet afterwards.
"Do you want more cookies?"
I couldn't hold long for silence. I feel like when I'm with him, i should talk despite of nothing to say.
I sounded like a weirdo but, I like talking to him even though he doesn't have interest on what I'm talking, besides, I love talking to him and telling him things without a reason...or, maybe, I just want him not to be lonely in this secluded place.
He might be dying in boredom. He's on the hospital and couldn't see anything, it must be hard. That's why, even though my talking and stories does not have any connections, I still talks because I don't want him to feel that he's alone.
"I don't like sweets." he confessed. "but, I can eat when it comes to you."
A smile appeared on my lips. He opened his palm so I put cookies on it. We're not talking but I'm fine with it since he's eating the cookies that I bring.
"Did you keep the bracelet?" I asked him. I chug on my water and helped him to clench his thirst.
He nodded and showed me his hand. "Yeah, I can't even remove this because I can't see anything."
I frowned.
He laughed. "Just kidding, kiddo. I keep it since you're keeping the pair of it."
"What if I'm not keeping it? Would you throw that away?" I asked him.
Kaios shook his head for response. "Nope, but I'll hide it...but I'll wear it again if you picked what you throw."
"What do you wanna do right now?" I'm too bored to stay quiet. I don't have any food so I'm back to talking and asking some random things that I didn't even think about but crosses my mind just like that.
You know, to ease some boredom you need to let out words without a connection or even say whatever you wanna say just to make you feel better. Well, boredom can make me feel bad and I don't like it since I become too emotional if I'm too bored.
The side of his lips rose.
He faces the other way around. I giggled and held above his head and turn his head towards my direction.
"Would you lend me a hand?" He questioned me without hesitating.
"I can't give you my hand, you have yours." I pouted. This man is really unbelievable, how come he asked for my hand if he have his own... not just one but two like a normal human being!
He sneered. "I'm asking for help, stupid."
"Ow." I scratched my head out of embarrassment. This is what I got from having a home far from civilization, I don't know anything new. "Of course "
He smiled. "Can we go outside? Just on the hallway. I wanted to walked."
"Is it okay?" Worries are visible on my voice. I know that he can already walk but I'm afraid that the doctors that will caught us will be mad...but I don't want to say 'no' because I feel like I'm taking his freedom to go anywhere. "I mean...of course, I'll come. but it's really okay?"
He nodded. "Yeah, just five minutes. I just want to relax. It's too annoying to stay in here for too long."
"Alright, let's go then." I can even agree with what he said 100%, staying in a four cornered room in this hospital is too boring. And walking outside the hallway is relaxing. I always do that tho.
I don't have my dextrose with me so I'm free. I hopped down and marched where he was.
I hold his hand and he immideatly stepped his feet. I even used all my strength to balance myself from supporting him because he almost tripped.
"Are you blind or what?" I scoffed.
He chuckled amusingly. "Idiot, I'm blind." he point on his eyes.
My lips formed an 'O'. I totally forgot about it out of excitement to bring and lend him a help outside.
He balanced himself and tried to walk. He gave me a nod. "I'm fine... Let's go."
He intertwined our fingers.
I stopped just to stared at it. My lips formed a smile when our bracelet's attract each other.
"What happened? Something flinched on my hand." He said.
I giggled.
"No worries, it's the bracelet who responds with each other. The Sun and the waves collided again."
We walked through the long way with silence... I'm just composing myself not to speak because I've seen him enjoying while we're walking.
"The hallway is too long, isn't it?"
I chuckled. "Nope, when we reached the end, I just turned around. We keep walking for twenty times now."
He frowned that made me giggle.
I dragged him with me in a slow manner.
"Where are we going?"
"A relaxing place in this hallway."
I stopped in front of the glass window and opened it with one hand. The wind automatically hit us.
"Woah, it's cold!" I said happily. Despite of being cold, the stars are bright with a cresent moon who looks like a smile to me.
Kaios loosen the blanket that's covering him and he let go of my hand. He placed the blanket on my shoulder--he shared it with me. He held my hand and intertwined our fingers for the second time and put it inside of his jacket's pocket.
Standing beside him made me look like a dwarf. My head only reach his chest.
"What's your height?" I squished his hand for him to answer me.
"179 cm."
"Woah." That's why I look lime a dwarf beside him!
"And you?" he grin.
"I'm only 167 cm."
He chuckled amusingly. "That's why I have to bend my knees just to put a blanket on you."
"Tsk." I hissed.
"A talkative chicken suits my ideal height." He chuckled and I rolled my eyes.
"What can you see outside?" He asked me. I faced him and stared in his face.
Despite of the white covering his eyes---it's still full of curiosity. I know it might be hard to understand to some people but I can read his eyes despite of not seeing any colors on it. amd by staring at it, my heartbeats keep slowing down.
I can tell it's not from my illness because I don't even feel suffocated at all. This feeling is weird for me because I didn't felt anything like this before.
"The stars are bright on the dark skies. A cresent moon showed up as if it was a smile." I lean on his shoulder since he's standing like a post. "You know what, seeing things like this can make me relax and gives me comfort."
"Mmm."
I giggled when he agreed without even letting a moment pass.
"Why are you laughing, kiddo?"
"It's just funny how you agreed despite of not seeing what I'm looking." I said. I'm just comfortable leaning on him while staring outside.
"Our perspective are different, kiddo. You might see it with your eyes but me, I can tell that comfort and relaxation of mine is through touch."
I look up to him. "What touch?"
"Holding your hand can gives me comfort all of a sudden..and I'm contended about it."
I chuckled. "I'm happy about that. Good thing I can give you comfort."
He nodded.
"You may see the stars and moon but me, I can sense the universe on my mind while holding your hand." he spoke.
I couldn't say any word and avoid my eyes on him.
Realization hit me that I might felt something different on him but something says otherwise. I keep rejecting what I think towards him...and everytime I'm with him, I always know that there's something that's building on my heart...it was a great feeling of happiness and a bad feeling of fear.
With a smile on my face, I entered his room. I still have my guitar with me.
I stopper for a moment after I saw Nurse Kim removing his IV. She looked at me and raised a brow as if questioning me with her look about what the fuck am I doing here.
"What are you doing here, Constancia?" She asked strictly.
"And why do you ask me?" I asked her back and pursed my lips. Her eyes became sarcastic so as her smile.
"I ask her to come over, Kim." Both of us heard Kaios. "If you're done please leave us."
"O-oh...okay." She stood up and carry her things. She even give me a warning look before she's totally gone.
What's with that Nurse again? I'm not even rude and stubborn to her but she's always like that. I wonder what's going on--on her head for her to be like that in front of me.
"What are you doing here again?" He asked, but this time there's a little smile on his lips. He never smiled at me whenever I come here before but now, it feels so great seeing that one.
"I'm bored."
"As usual." he shook his head.
I placed the guitar on the bed before I hop and crawled on his side. He never changed his position before, everytime I entered he's always sitting and leaning on the headboard.
"You know what, your room is too boring." I said.
He shrugged. "I can't even tell if it's bored or what since I can't see anything."
"Yeah right."
"But, why is it bored anyway?"
"It's all plain white..."
"Probably, because this us just a hospital." He corrected me. "My room is full of hunger games figures and it's way more cooler than you think."
"You like hunger games?" I asked him. He nodded. "I've watched that movie too."
We have the same interests when it comes to movies, we like adventures and actions too that's why we talked about it. He became talkative this time too. Taking about Hunger Games is fun, we talked about Starwars and then it ended to Paw Patrol that I never expected that he's watching that cartoon too.
"Who do you like among them?" I asked him and grab a pillow.
"Chase."
"Why?"
"I don't know." he grin. "But maybe, I like a chase."
"Aren't we talking about those pups, aren't we?" I chuckled.
He shook his head. "Half maybe?" He chuckled. "But I like chasing."
"Chasing woman aren't we?"
He stretched his arms and chuckled. "Maybe, I don't know. I didn't do it before..but, I chased my dog."
"You have dogs?!" I did not even have any encounters with dogs and honestly, I want to see one and touched them...I wanna feel how soft their furs and how cute their faces abd sizes are.
"Yeah, they're two. Chibi and Cheb."
"Wooh." I reacted. "Why don't you bring them here? Oh...I mean, ask someone to bring them in here."
He smiled and my eyesight got some errors..suddenly, everything went in slow motion but when he spoke, everything went back to normal as if it just passed like a wind.
."I wanted to do that too but they don't allow me."
I suddenly got so disappointed. "Why? I wanna see a dog!"
"Kiddo, this is a hospital, they won't let an animal in here, especially dogs who likes to roam around most of the time."
"But I wanted to see one and even touched it before I'm gone!"
"I'll bring my dog here in some time." I can sense that he's assuring me. I smiled. "But, what do you mean by gone?"
"Oh?" I pursed my lips. I don't wanna affect other people thru my stories how my life will come to an end so..."Nothing, I just wanted to say that for you to bring your dog.." I told him a lie.
He faced me and nodded. "Mmm..."
I can even sense suspicion on his face that made me chuckle.
Well, he's a lawyer after all, he's good about suspecting. It's not easy to hide something on him but I love on how the way he respond, he didn't ask me to tell anything despite of his suspicion.
I strum on my guitar.
"Oh..."
I took a glimpse on him. His lips formed 'O' after hearing the rhythm I'm making.
"Familiar isn't it?" I asked with a smile. My heart filled with warm seeing his face becomes comfortable.
"Yeah." He nodded. "I missed seeing things."
"I can tell you everything I'm seeing."
He smiled.
My eyes narrowed on him without stopping myself to strum. The melodies filled the room with my heart keep skipping a beat.
"Why don't you sing?" He asked, I immideatly shifted my eyes on the guitar and gulped. "Let me here your voice."
"But you're hearing my voice everytime."
This is it! I feel so weird! When I looked at him, I have the strangest feeling and when I avoid my eyes, I keep thinking of him, and when he smiled I fixed my eyes on him and I feel like I'm safe and sound beside him. What the hell is wrong with me?
"Not the chicken voice, kiddo."
I frowned.
He's demanding for me to sing but he called my normal voice 'chicken voice', what a man.
But whatever. I never sing to anybody rather than the water in the shower, the shampoo bottles, the bathtub, mirror and even the soap. It must be good to sing in front of a human being, isn't it?
"Don't expect to much. I'm not good as you think or whatever it is." I pursed my lips and turned to him.
"I didn't say anything... I just want to hear you sing, hmm?" He smiled again.
I took my head trying to get his smile out of my mind.
A downturned radiant lips even though he's not putting anything is beautiful.
His smile was like a sudden beam of sunlight illuminating the darkest corners of the room when I sang.
"Just close your eyes, you'll be alright
Come morning light, you and I'll be safe and sound~~~"
And this time, I can say that...with his smiles, I feel safe and sound.