Third Person P.O.V
Accepting things always depended on the person involved. But even with different people, the level of acceptance differed.
Each person has their own limits in accepting what is thrown at them and in the same sense each person takes their own time in accepting everything that involves them.
Both Adelaide and Carson had the same situation and they accepted it under the same clause but at their own pace.
They both had come to accept Fedir Cicilia's death by putting themselves at fault. They coped with the loss of someone special by blaming themselves. A blame for which none of them had to account for. A blame which shouldn't have originated in the first place.
They say "Ignorance is a bliss"; but in the case of Adelaide and Carson 'Ignorance' was what made them ashamed of themselves to the point that they could barely bring themselves to face Fedir even after his death.
While Carson tackled his thoughts, Adelaide was getting deceived and crushed by hers.
The all too familiar voice that demotivated her was now content with Carson's reaction and ready to break Adelaide's defences when the time was right. Ready to end it all.
Adelaide was filled with negativity as she thought to herself. She hated everything about today. She hated how it started, she despised the condition in which she let Carson know of her father's death, she couldn't stand how the day refused to end. Above all she hated the voice that had started speaking again.
Adelaide's P.O.V
"Didn't I advise you to not tell him? But what did you opt for? You decided to ignore the best advise I have given you! You willingly went ahead and told him everything! Down to the minute details of your pathetic interpretations!"
As soon as the voice spoke to me I could imagine its dark hollow self snicker and grasp me from behind. Dragging me into its territory. The territory which didn't seem to have anything to explain. It was but 'dark, empty and void'. It was like a black hole but inside me.
I was starting to get used to these self talks I had with this voice. Ignoring the chills that went down my spine I looked outside the window.
The sun was finally setting. The day was FINALLY coming closer to an end.
I was in the process of convincing myself by thinking how today's torture will soon but end. Anytime now, the seconds, the minutes, the hours they will all just fly by and a new day would sta-
"Ignoring me now are you? Do you remember what happened the last time you did but have the guts to ignore me?"
It laughed hysterically as I recalled what had become of me at the darkest point of my life. I never wished to reach that point ever again. The thought alone made my body tremble and clutch myself strongly.
"No, no, no ,no no. Anything but that. Anything but... that" -after days I was crying of fear instead of sadness. The memories that were now playing before my eyes made it hard for me to stay strong. They made the reason evident. The reason I subdue to the voice that clearly doesn't mean good.
"Now you respond. If you were co-operative to begin with, that wouldn't have happened in the first place. Would it? I don't think I did it to see you suffer? Or maybe I did? Ah lets move on from the things that happened in the past! The day is about to end! And we haven't even made the most of it yet."
I was desperately covering my ears in hopes of shutting the voice out. But it was impossible to begin with. I was never successful in running away from it.
"I was actually curious about something." -I didn't have to see or imagine to know that the voice was probably smirking. The tone gave it all away. It wanted to test me in order to take over me completely.
"I know you from the back of my hand so obviously I already am sure of what the answer is but, I want to hear you acknowledge it, and say it with your own mouth. Why didn't you tell him?" -the lack of curiosity was clearly evident.
"Tell what?" -I knew exactly what it wanted, but I didn't want to give it away. Not so easily.
"You know what I mean! But, If you insist I'll define it for you. Why did you hide the fact that your oh so lovely Papa had planned his death perfectly? Why didn't you tell him that he had lost his hope and will to live? Why didn't you tell him that your lovely Papa was so defeated by his fate that he left behind in his will all that he could offer?"
"He didn't need to know about any of it." -Although I said that, I still wondered why I didn't bring it up.
"Skipping a few important parts and playing the victim and calling yourself a murderer!" - The voice said with mirth as though it was grinning while watch a chick flick movie.
Before I could speak or deny anything the voice continued.
"I didn't know you had such a talent! I wonder who you picked it up from? Any guesses?" -the tone of amusement remained in its voice.
I was taken aback by the question which felt almost like an accusation pointed at me. I was left unable of making any meaning out of its words.
"Ah! You must've forgotten about it! Totally understandable given the circumstances that had prevailed. Maybe its time to let you in on something. Perfect way to add meaning to today don't you think?"
"What do you mean? What am I forgetting?" -the need to get an answer rose in me. Never before had I been so tempted to hear from the voice. This time although, it had me wrapped around its finger, like a snake coiling around its prey. I was just about to hear from it again until the door bell rang, catching me off-guard.
I diverted my gaze from the wall to the window in hopes of estimating the time.
The sun had set in the horizon. The birds were no more to be seen, just like the voice. I knew better than anyone that there was no point in searching for the voice. It comes to me on its own accord whenever it wishes to mess my mind up.
Finding myself unsure of what time it could possibly be, I got up and walked towards the door being completely unbothered about who the visitor could be. Something about what the voice had said was making my curiosity starve. I was desperate to know what it knew about me which I myself did not.
My mind was so occupied in guessing a probable answer to soothe my curiosity that I opened the door without checking first.
"Don't you ever open the door without checking, again."