"Hello, little brother," I repeat. But I still don't believe it.
I never thought I would get to say those words. Let alone see the very face that is my brother. This must be a dream.
Or not- as I hear another snore from him. It breaks the fantasy- only proving that this has to be real. I don't think anyone ever dreams about someone else snoring.
But still, I can't help but stare on.
"He's adorable." I find myself needing to gush over him.
His face looks so sweet, like a little doll- a miniature of my father in almost all the ways, save for the beard. But outside of that, I am happy. It's good he takes after Father. Better than the alternative-if he happened to take after my stepmother more-
I don't think I could do that. I already know. It would make this very difficult. Just thinking of her makes me shiver.
What a scary woman. Was she always like this? I can't remember.
But there is something I was right about. If this was his room, which it had to be-This child is well taken care of.
"Just look at you." I inch my finger on the pillow to stop short of his nose.
Nicoli's skin looks bronze from the time in the sun- likely outside playing. And his fingers and cheeks are chubby. I wouldn't be surprised if that were because the servants snuck him, sweets, when they shouldn't. And his hair is a lovely chocolate brown. It curls everywhere and must need constant combing to stay in place. And his lips and eyebrows look expressive- as if he laughed often.
I'm glad. I want to think he would be laughing all the time. He looked like the type that should. I can't imagine him living a life as I have.
I'm sorry for losing my temper. I didn't know who you were. But I am glad to know now. Just looking at his sleeping face makes me want to touch him.
He's the type that deserves to be loved by everyone.
Maybe even more.
"You deserve everyone's love." I whisper as I crawl into the bed. I gently shift myself to curl around him. He feels warm and soft next to me.
"Every single heart should be yours."
His breath gently hits my face as I rest my head next to his. It smells sweet- like he's just eaten cake. The smell makes me lean in as if I can figure out what.
I am so close now that I can see tiny freckles over his nose—more kisses from the sun. Lucky him, I can't freckle. Vampires can't. We get sick if we stand out in the light for too long.
"You're perfect."
He is. My brother is the most beautiful being I have and may ever see. I feel a twist in my chest as if it is true. I will never find anyone else as beautiful or special because he is my little brother.
Mine.
"Nicoli," I whisper as my finger reaches to touch a curl. It's smooth and warm, like his head. I squeeze it.
I wish I didn't have to let go. I didn't have to leave you. If only I could stay here by your side.
A light hitch of his breath catches my attention, and my eyes shift. They fall to his little mouth. It trembles with another breath before calming down to a quiet hush.
How plump and pink they are. The thought comes into mind. I have to lean closer to feel another breath hit my face.
Suddenly I notice it. The smell- why hadn't I noticed it before? This unique perfume- is it Nicoli's? Is this his scent?
It must be because the smell is stronger the closer I am to him. It's a good smell- a mix of soap they washed him with before bed and something else. Something outside-
"Grass." I realize. He smells of cut grass. It reminds me of the rose garden back home.
"Hmm," I lean in to take a deeper breath. I want to remember this smell. I want to engrave it into my mind.
Vaguely I noticed I was getting too close. But it's intoxicating- the smell of mixed soap and grass is pulling me in. I want to smell more.
Any closer- I breathe to feel my baby fangs pop out from my upper lips. Any closer and our lips will touch.
Move back. I feel myself say. You are too close. But I don't. I can't. My head is starting to spin as I keep breathing in his smell.
"If only I could steal you away,"
My eyes close on their own as I lose focus. His smell is so good. It's filling my head and making me feel like I'm swimming. I'm compelled to move closer.
I feel it. Soft, warm flesh grazes mine. My lips are gently scraping over his. His breath pours over me until it stops.
Touch him. I can hear a voice call from somewhere deep in my chest.
Move closer. Take more.
More what? I vaguely feel the need to hesitate. What am I taking? But the voice inside is calling. It wants something. Something more that he can give me. I only need to lean in.
More. It cries, and I feel myself lose it.
"I'd never let you go."
My lips softly press onto his. Instantly, I feel his warmth. It sends a shock through me.
"Ah,"
I hear his breath hitch. My head is swimming as I feel suspended at the moment. I can't feel my body- his scent makes me dizzy.
Keep going, the same voice calls out. The voice is now speaking in time to the music box. It still plays on, but I only just noticed it again. It and the voice are mixing together.
Consume him-
The voice stops as the final stroke of the key hangs in the air. The music box has stopped. The dancer is no longer twirling. And I feel my senses come back to me. From my fingers up to my face. I can open my eyes again.
I freeze as the room grows dead silent. Then I am cold. My actions are suddenly right in front of me.
What am I doing? I realize in horror and start to tremble from the shock and cold.
What was I thinking-consume him? But, no, that can't be right. This is my brother.
I'd never hurt him.
I want to deny it as I lean back. But my lips are still tingling. His skin is still felt on mine- the sensation of the kiss. It makes me shudder.
"Ah," I wince as a pang rolls over my teeth. It's my baby fangs. They are irritated. But why? I'm not old enough for them to have any reaction. I can't even bite anyone. I know that. But still, I'm frightened.
"What was I just doing?" I turn away to cover my mouth as I shudder again.
I couldn't actually toward my brother. It can't be. It isn't true. This is some trick. I wouldn't-
Only a monster would do this.
I'm not. I'm a good girl. I plead to myself as if it had never happened. No, it didn't. I must be wrong. I would never-
"It can only be expected that it would do in its nature…." my stepmother's words echo.
"My nature."
Was this… my nature?
No, no, no! I refuse, but I can't stop myself from sinking. What if she was right? That I am dangerous.
That I… Can't be trusted?
Please no. I want to try to argue, but my actions damage me. Didn't I lean in to taste him? The exact thing I was warned of?
Does that mean, deep down, I am nothing but a monster? Did stepmother see it before I ever did?
But why? I am crushed with realization. How could this happen- I never wanted it. I never wanted any of this.
"I…just wanted to meet you." Bitter tears come into my eyes.
Why does this have to happen to me?
I sit up to feel my legs become jello. It's just as well. I can't see- my eyes are too full of tears. My body is shaking as I sob into my hands. The bear covers my mouth to absorb the sound of muffled cries.
I only wanted to have a family again.
I gasp before biting into my trembling lips. My teeth aren't even sharp enough to cut the skin. But it doesn't mean it couldn't hurt someone.
Again I feel myself tremble as I let out another gasp.
*Nicoli*
At the sound, the boy opened his eyes. Something which the silver-haired girl overlooked. She seemed to be too busy crying into her hands.
Uh-oh. Nicoli could only think as he felt helpless at the moment.
In truth, Nicoli had woken sometime ago. Likely around when Ana first came into the room. He had heard the familiar door creak and knew someone was with him right away. But instead of showing it, he played pretend. He was curious to see what would happen next.
And when it came time, he thought he would jump to scare the intruder—hoping to make her laugh with surprise, hence why he stayed 'asleep' for so long. He was waiting for the right moment.
That moment flew right out the window when she kissed him.
And now she was crying.
This isn't what he wanted at all.
I didn't want to make her cry. Nicoli thought with guilt. The guilt only grew the longer he heard her weep. Deep sorrow-filled sobs were barely stifled as she carried on- if Nicoli weren't awake, he would have been now.
Please don't cry. Nicoli felt a need to help. It looked wrong for someone so pretty to cry like that- like she was in so much pain. She looked like a beautiful fairy with her little face and thick lashes.
Nicoli didn't even know why she was crying, to begin with. But he lifted his hand gently to touch her face and wipe a tear.
"Ana-" Stop crying. Nicoli began, but Ana suddenly snapped her head. Her eyes widened in terror at the sight of him awake. Her sob caught in her throat.
"Your awake!?" Ana looked down at him with horror. Her red eyes stared down at his as if turning pale. She seemed to freeze at the moment.
Nicoli blinked up at her with an innocent expression. It was an expression he had used before- on both his mom and the maids. He expected it would calm her down as it did them.
It did not do this at all.
Instead of calming down, Nicoli was shocked to see Ana suddenly turn angry.
"I'm not a monster!"Ana blurted with hot tears. She stood up abruptly and then lashed out. She threw something right at him.
"Ah!" Nicoli yelped as it hit him right in the face before falling on the bed. Before Nicoli could see what it was, Ana was turning.
"Wait-" Nicoli called, but it was too late. Ana was rushing out the door. It slammed closed behind her with a loud thump. Her footsteps stormed away as if in a blind panic.
"Ana…"
Nicoli dropped his hand, looking at the door. Sure enough, a knock sounded behind him. Nicoli flinched as the man opened the door.
"IS everything alright, your majesty?" Thomas asked, and the boy turned away. His blue eyes didn't want to see his manservant. Instead, he found them falling onto what Ana had thrown.
"A bear?" Nicoli whispered as his hand reached for it.
"Your Majesty?" Thomas went again, daring to take a step closer. Nicoli instantly felt his space invaded and quickly pulled the bear out of view.
"It's fine. Just a dream." Nicoli smiled at the man before acting out and going back to bed. He could feel Thomas linger before finally closing the door. But once he did, Nicoli sat back up to investigate his new find.
A bear? Nicoli turned the bear over to see the blue ribbon. It was the same blue as his eyes.
Was this meant to be for me? Nicoli pondered. He couldn't help but look back to where the hidden door was. But the intruder was long gone. He couldn't even hear her footsteps.
It made him frown as he drew the bear in to hug.
Why did she have to run away like that?
*Ana*
Without pause, I am charging through the cobwebs. I jump down the entire stairways. I can feel myself getting coated in dust. But it doesn't matter.
Just keep running.
It's my only thought, and I'm moving until I can make out my room. I rush through the tapestry without catching a breath.
Block the door!
Trunks and furniture get pulled in front of the door. So I stack boxes- whatever I can find in front of it so it won't open because it can't.
I can't let him find me!
When the job is done, I feel all I have fallen to the floor. My legs buckle, and I'm breathing hard. My lungs are burning from all the exertion. I don't think I've ever run that fast.
My head presses to the cold stone as I scatter my broken thoughts. What just happened? What did I do?
Nicoli was awake. I know. And I threw the bear right into his face. And I ran all the way here.
What an idiot! I shouldn't have listened to myself! I shouldn't have gone- But the damage is done.
"I'm so sorry." I curl into myself. My legs are covered in dirt, but I don't care. I want to hold something. I press my face into my knees hard enough to bruise my nose. One weak shudder breaks before I feel my tears come up again.
I have to bite my skirt to muffle the cries. I don't want anyone to hear this. I don't want anyone to see me like this. Not even Maddie.
I want to pretend this never happened. None of this- it's all a bad dream.
"I'm not a monster." I cry and squeeze myself. I feel so cold now. That hole in my chest is back- deeper than before. It might swallow me up.
I'm not.
I see Nicoli looking up at me so innocently. He had no idea- no idea what I was just about to do. I-
His eyes are the same as our father's. The exact shade of blue. And they saw me. Nicoli saw me. I was just about to-
I feel a soft wail escape my lips.
"I'm so sorry."