*Ana*
The blue wax must have dried out from the journey because I find it easy to slice open. It cracks and pills down to fall on my skirt as I split it apart. The flap opens, and I find two sheets of paper inside. I take them both out to study.
There are two? Another surprise. What would need two pages? I look to find one written in fathers hand. The other, though, has me pause.
What?
"A drawing? " I voice before looking up at both women. They look at each other just as confused.
"A drawing?" Maddie repeats as Aunt Funda furrows her brows.
"IS that it? A drawing?" She goes, sounding annoyed.
"No- there's a letter too, but-" Again, I look back to the drawing. If I lift it up toward the light, I think I can better gather the meaning.
It doesn't help very much when I do. It's in crayon- and it is not by a skilled hand.
This looks like the work of a child. I can't help but wonder. Did my father draw this? Why? Are stick figures riding a dog? Block? Thing? I can't tell.
One stick figure is brown with lines sticking from its head. Is that meant to be hair? The other has purple with long purple stripes. More hair?
It suddenly dawns on me who the artist is.
"Oh! Brother must have drawn this," I half smile, but it dies again. But why? Why would he draw this? Better yet, why do I have it?
Was this meant for me?
I am stumped. But it's included with Father's letter, so it must have been intentional. Mystified, I can only fold the drawing back without showing the others.
Although both look interested to see it, I feel hesitant. Something tells me I shouldn't. I'm unsure why, but I'm oddly protective of this new treasure.
Is it because it's Nicoli's? Perhaps so. He made it.
Maybe that's why I don't want to share.
Instead, I move to the other letter- the one in fathers hand and read out loud for them.
It begins with the usual expectations. There's an introduction and the how are yous- but I am left quiet as I come across something that is not.
How- I stop to re-read the passage. Did I read it write? No, I couldn't have. Let me re-read it again. Surely I misunderstood-
"What is it, Your Emperess?" Maddie chirps, and her hand is on my shoulder. Of course, she could lean over and read for herself, but she was waiting for me.
"Please," Aunt Funda clears her throat. She shifts on her legs. I don't think she wants to stand around long. She must be busy with something.
I have no other choice but to go back and read it aloud again.
"He says he is sad to have missed me. And to forgive him. He was looking forward to seeing me." I hold the letter with a shake of my head. It's right before me, but I'm already shaking my head.
No, that's not right. I want to counter the paper. But yet, there it is, written in ink. I can't deny what I read.
It says the exact opposite of what I know.
"Your Empress?" Aunt Funda prompts, and I carry on.
"He promises to make a better effort to see me the next time I come." I feel the words sit on the tip of my tongue. They feel like they are standing and pushing on the roof of my mouth, trying to make it open.
"Next time?" I repeat. Will there be a…next time?
What do you mean? I feel my eyes must have gone wrong- or my hearing. He said next time.
But that can't be?
I breathe as I feel a swell of emotions circle in my belly. It's confusion and fear and together doubt. This must be a joke, right? It must be some cruel ploy to-.
But to do what? What good would come from doing this?
I find myself in the stare of both women. They are hanging on my every word. Their eyes are open and eager for me to continue. I can only go on for their sake as I wish to stop because I'm getting lost in the words.
Father's voice speaks in my head as I read on- it's lown and robust. It makes my skin prickle with goosebumps as if he were right here that he is speaking to me now.
"My son, Prince Nicoli, is still very eager to meet his only sister. He speaks of nothing else. He has even drawn a picture of you both riding a bear together-"
"That was meant to be a bear?" I bulk thinking of the drawing. That block creature- that's what it was?
"Bear?" Aunt Funda lifts a brow, but Maddie shushes her. She is again looking at me as if I should continue.
"Go on, your Empress."
So, I was right. Nicoli did draw this for me. I can't help but feel a small puff of breath- a laugh. But the light feeling falls as I feel confused again.
The letter- it's not mentioned that night at all. How can that be?
Did you not tell him? I was so sure you would. But did he say nothing? That I was in your room that night?
But the way you stared at me from the window. I can still remember your face- how your blue eyes watched me. I thought you wanted me gone, that you wanted nothing to do with me.
I thought you were afraid of me.
So it's needless to say how confused I am now. Not only did you not speak- you've drawn me a picture.
I can not wrap my head around it. What is your motive? Weren't you afraid- I threw a bear at you.
Unable to understand, I can only find myself now drawn to the letter. I must now. I need to understand. I go back to the letter.
"-I fear my son will expire from exhaustion at the rate he goes on talking about you. You, Anastasia, my dearest daughter, have become quite his new obsession. And thus, being the self-proclaimed man of opportunity, I have devised a plan. A plan which should benefit both of us."
Plan? I look up. What plan? What could it be?
"Empress?" Aunt Funda clears her throat again. The impatience is written on her face. Aunt Funda has never stayed around me this long. It's surprising.
But Maddie is still nodding to me. Her hands lift to the paper.
"Go on, what plan?" Maddie smiles, and I feel her warm eyes give me courage.
"Read on."
I swallow hard- it feels so dry. I must have been out too long. But I can't excuse myself- I don't think they'd let me. I must read on.
"I would like to propose a favor, my daughter. I want you to exchange letters with your brother."
"Exchange?" I repeat with a blink.
"Exchange?!" Aunt Funda pulls back.
"Exchange!" Maddie claps. She moves to grab me by the shoulders.
"Go on- you must go on!"
"Prince Nicoli is so invested in knowing more about yourself." I read and blink.
Does he? I find that hard to believe. I don't think I could say that for anyone- save Maddie. But that's Maddie. But I go back to read.
"And seeing his need to further his literary skills since he is pretty obstinate against learning. So I found this the perfect opportunity. It would also enrich you as you learn about each other, strengthen familial bonds, and become closer despite our severe distance.
If you can do me this honor and act on sisterly love to bless your brother with your letters, I will be most gracious to you.
Until we are together again, King of Dawny, Alexander Brokenoff."
I fold the letter blankly. My mind is barren as the proposal leaves me empty. I am speechless. I am in a state of disbelief.
How in the world is this possible- What have I just read with my own eyes? I try to collect myself.
Father wants me to write, brother. Yes, I remember reading that. It's right there. But what after.
Sisterly love? Helping Nicoli? Is this really from my father?
But didn't my stepmother point out otherwise? I counter. She told me. Father avoided me- that's why he left.
So what was going on? Was I wrong? Was she wrong? Did I misunderstand something- am I misunderstanding something now?
Is this- I feel I must take a breath as the idea forms. It's so fragile and could break with a breath, but I think it setup.
Is this what he feels?
"Ha," I feel a laugh spill out my lips again.
"Your Empress?" Aunt Funda seems disturbed. Well, so am I. I don't know if I should be delighted or mad about this.
Was it always this easy to be accepted? To become a family? It makes my head spin. But even as I grow dizzy, I feel it in my chest. My heart is pumping fast with excitement.
" Ana," Maddie throws up her hands with a great grin."
"What wonderful news! But wait," Maddie suddenly grows severe and quiet.
"But what?" I feel myself watching her breathless. What is she about to say?
"Maddie, what's-"
Maddie winks with a giggle.
" We should consider the stationary."
Stationary? I feel my heart drop. So that's what she wanted to say?
"Maddie…" I breathe. My poor heart- she scared me.
I thought she was about to warn me or- no, it's about something silly again.
"This is no time for jokes."
"It isn't!" Maddie waves her finger like she picks out selections. Her face is concentrated.
"For the ink color, I think it should be something fun. Prince Nicoli is a child. He needs something exciting. Oh, and then there are the perfumed papers-"
"Maddie, please." I find myself relaxing. I shake my head at her. I can't believe she's being so silly. But I can't help but smile a little.
Maddie has a rather infectious way of spreading her excitement. I am not immune.
"I'm the one doing the writing, not you." I shake again. How can someone get so worked up over something that trivial?
"But your Empress-" Maddie was about to protest, but Aunt Funda stepped forward.
"Empress Anastasia," A passing cloud shadowed her face as she stood over us.
"Are you going to comply with this?."
"I… " I lose my voice. Will I? I haven't even considered it.
Should I? Absently, I can feel that tingle on my lips again.
The kiss.
Would it be right to get closer? What if something else were to happen…
No. It won't. I vowed sternly.
I won't let it. That was just a fluke. I'm better now. I'm not a monster- I know I'm not.
I will never harm my brother.
I am not what she said I was.
"I-" I mean to speak, but Maddie butts over me.
"For heaven's sake! Of course, she is. She'll write a whole damn book worth it! "Maddie exclaims.
"Maddie! "I gasp in shock before covering my mouth.
"You shouldn't swear. "
"Damn, did I? "Maddie declares again with a wink.
"Maddie!" I try to reprime with a quick look at Aunt Funda. She does not look pleased at all. But that makes me lose it. I find myself starting to laugh.
"Maddie, that's a bad habit."
Maddie shrugs with a quick bow to my aunt, but she turns right back to me.
"But really, Ana. What do you think about the paper?" Maddie starts again, having me perk up.
I'm not even sure what I have. Unique papers- do I even have those? I had never used one before. I didn't even think I needed options.
Before this, all my correspondence has been formal. So only white stock paper was needed.
"I don't think I have any, Maddie. Can we use what we already have?"
"Absolutely not! This is family we're talking about. Prince Nicoli deserves flair. "Maddie throws a hand up in a pose.
Flair? I lift a brow.
"He's only four."
"Even more then. We must go shopping." Maddie declares and throws up a look at Aunt Funda.
I only notice Aunt Funda is still around. She has grown eerily quiet over time. Aunt Funda stiffens her back when Maddie turns to her.
"Aunt Funda?" I look at her. The strange dark cloud seems to pass over her face. They make her already chiseled features sharpen like the mountains of Almony- almost villainous.
"I will fetch for the finest paper merchants, your Empress." Aunt Funda bowed to be excused before I waved her go.
The woman turned on a dime to head back inside.
*Aunt Funda*
Aunt Funda walked in with quick steps under the pretense of getting the merchants. But that was not where she would go first. Oh no, that would be the last place she would turn.
Upon entering the palace, Aunt Funda went directly toward their wing. Her leading destination is her own husband's study.
How could things go so wrong? Aunt Funda charged down the halls. Her mind was screaming as she moved.
Why is there another letter? Aunt Funda growled. There should not have been any more. Wasn't the trip a disaster?
Wasn't that why her niece came back after just one day? It's what they both thought it was- what the whole court thought it was. Empress Anastasia had been thrown out of Dawny- it was what everyone whispered when she wasn't around. She had failed.
The king of Dawny didn't recognize her as a daughter anymore.
Yet here we are with one from the very man himself. Aunt Funda hissed internally. This was not what was predicted and was certainly not welcomed.
Aunt Funda did like having such unexpected changes.
It could threaten our plans. Aunt Funda worried. She needed to speak to her husband. So much would need to be readjusted.
They had never planned the king would still actively reach out.
But thank god luck is on our side. Aunt Funda could find relief in that.
It was the reason she didn't mind the growing cold. It would mean winter would soon fall. And with winter, so would the winter break for the military academy.
The students would get to return home for the holidays. And that would mean their son would return- for the first time in years. Aunt Funda could almost shout for joy at the idea. Finally, her son would be back.
Just wait, Empress.
Mykhol will be home soon.