Tatsumi Mio's POV
"I'm going out now, I'll be back later for your 12 pm medicine." The nurse stated as she left my room, closing the door behind her.
And with that, I am once again alone inside this hospital room of mine, alone with nothing to keep me company except the view outside my window. It's 8 am and the birds are happily dancing outside, I quietly sit on my bed as I watch them, it's not like there is anything else I can do.
Two months have already passed since the first day I got sent here, two months after the incident, two months of nothing but quiet for me in this room, staring out the window, watching the scenery change from morning to night.
As I keep watching the birds flying outside, I couldn't help but think about Tetsuo, wondering what happened to him. A week has already passed after I yelled at him, telling him that I'm not his friend. He hasn't visited me ever since then, after I yelled out those hurtful words.
A frown forms on my face as I start recalling every word I yelled out, remembering the look on his face, the shock and sadness in his eyes. I don't blame him if he chooses to stop visiting, even I would stop visiting me if I heard those words.
"You push people away."
"Freak."
"No one wants to be your friend."
"You hurt other people's feelings."
"You don't deserve to be happy."
They're back, the voices, they're back and somehow they're louder than before. I cover my ears as if the voices I am hearing are outside voices, but no, they are voices inside of my head, voices I can never run away from or ignore no matter how hard I try.
"You hear that? The sound of silence, the sound of loneliness." The voice said in a whispered tone. "You're all alone, you want to know why? It's because no one likes you, no one will ever like you. You push everyone away."
"No! Stop! It's not true!" I found myself screaming, talking back to the voices in my head, trying my best to fight them.
"Are you sure? If it's not true then where are your friends? I don't see anyone here with you. Oh wait, you pushed them away, remember?"
"I... I did...?"
"Yes. That Tetsuo kid, all he ever wanted to do was help you. All he ever wanted to do was to be friends with you. But what did you do? You yelled at him, pushed him away. You hurt his feelings just because he was looking at your hideous scar."
I fell silent after hearing what the voices said to me. Realizing what I have done, realizing that I hurt those people who only want to help me. Realizing I hurt them, I push them away.
"You yelled at him, told him that he wasn't your friend all because he was looking at your scar, wondering what happened to you, he was worried. All you ever think about is yourself. You hurt people, you don't deserve to be happy. You don't even deserve to live." As the voices kept talking, I found myself staring at a pair of scissors that was sitting on top of the drawer besides my bed. "Go on, do it. No one will miss you anyway."
I kept staring at the scissors as my hands begin to shake, slowly reaching for the scissors, tears were starting to go down my cheeks. What is this feeling? This feeling is new to me, I have never felt it before when I wanted to end my life. Is this fear? Why?
I slowly lift up the scissors, aiming the sharp tip of it to my throat. My hands kept shaking as if they were preventing me from ending my life, as if they don't want me to end it. What's happening? This has never happened before. Why do I suddenly feel scared? Why am I scared?
My tears kept flowing as my hands kept shaking. My surroundings are starting to fade away, my surroundings starting to turn pitch black, thick black clouds start to surround me.
"End it! You know you want to!" The voice yelled out. My hands started shaking even more.
"I'm sorry..." I manage to let out as I took a deep breath, getting ready to stab my throat with the scissors.
As I was about to do it, I heard the door open, a voice called out my name.
"Tatsumi? You awake?" That voice. Tetsuo?
After hearing his voice, the darkness that was surrounding me suddenly faded away, as if the thick clouds of shadows were chased away after I heard Tetsuo's voice, chased away by Tetsuo's voice.
"I'm sorry I haven't visited you for a week, I've been really busy with school lately and--" Tetsuo's sentence was stopped as he saw me, sitting on my bed with scissors pointing towards my throat. "Oi!! Tatsumi!!!" He yelled out, rushing towards me as he grabbed the scissors away from my hand. "What do you think you are doing!? Where did you get these!? What were you thinking!?"
I don't know why but hearing Tetsuo's voice made me calm, the voices that were screaming inside my head vanished along with the loneliness. I couldn't help myself but to cry, letting Tetsuo scold me.
"O-oi.. Tatsumi? A-are you okay?"
I jumped out of my bed as I wrapped my arms around Tetsuo, hugging him tight. I don't know what's gotten into me, I don't know why I'm doing this, but it feels comforting. I feel this warm feeling coming from my chest, as if my heart started beating for the first time in years, being woken up by this feelings of comfort.
"T-Tatsumi...?" I heard Tetsuo mutter, I didn't answer him as I just kept hugging him, feeling the loneliness I've been feeling leave my body.
"I'm sorry..." I muttered, tears flowing from my eyes as I kept on hugging Tetsuo.
"W-what for?"
"For the things I've said last week. I'm sorry for hurting you."
As I apologized, I felt his arms wrap around me, hugging me back. "Don't worry, it's okay. If there's anyone who needs to say sorry, that's me. I shouldn't have tried forcing you in telling me what happened to you. I'm sorry for invading the space for your privacy. I'm sorry for not understanding what you felt."
I fell silence as I heard Tetsuo apologize, I am speechless after hearing him. I wanted to say something but I felt like my strength to say words left me. Silence starts filling the room as Tetsuo and I still hug each other.
"What's that box over there? The one you dropped?" I asked, pulling out from the hug.
"Hmm? Oh right! I hope it's not ruined."
I stood around, looking at Tetsuo as walked towards the box he dropped when he rushed towards me, stopping me from sliding the scissors through my throat.
"Oh good! It's not fully destroyed." Tetsuo stated as he opened the box. I couldn:y see what it was since his back was covering it. I tried standing on my tippy toes to see what is was, but it was no use. I gave up and decided to sit on my bed, waiting for Tetsuo. This complication of mine is making it hard for me to stand for a long period of time.
"Are you going to tell me what that us or are you going to let curiosity kill me?" Tetsuo didn't answer me as he was still looking at the box. "I'll grab the scissors again if you don't tell what that is!"
A few minutes passed and I heard a click. I turned towards Tetsuo and he finally stood up, walking towards me.
My eyes grew wide as I saw what is in the box. It was a cake! A candle was lit in the middle of it. I looked at Tetsuo as my eyes started filling with confusion.
"W-what's this for?"
"Well, it's cake! Chocolate cake! I'm sorry it took a while. I had to arrange the letters since it got ruined after I dropped it."
I took another look at the cake and there I noticed what Tetsuo was talking about. I saw that the letters where covered in frosting and other cake debris. My eyes started watering after reading the words that the letters formed. How could I forget...?
Tetsuo smiled at me as I kept looking at the cake. "Happy Birthday, Tatsumi."
End of Chapter