Chereads / Room 14C / Chapter 9 - Chapter Nine: The Lost Smile

Chapter 9 - Chapter Nine: The Lost Smile

Tetsuo Naru's POV

"Hey? Tetsuo? Can I ask you something?" Tatsumi asked as she looks outside her windows.

"S-sure, what is it?" I stuttered, my face still red from the sudden kiss Tatsumi did. I don't get it, how can she calmly look outside her window like that? As if she didn't kissed me on the lips out of the blue!

"Why do you want to die?"

"What?" I looked at Tatsumi, confused at the sudden question she asked.

"Well, you told me that you met Death after your failed suicide attempt and that made me wonder, why did you do it? Why did you attempted suicide?"

"W-well... I..." I stood silently, unable to form words to answer Tatsumi's question.

"You don't need to answer me. I'm sorry for asking such a personal question." Tatsumi smiled softly at me before turning her attention to the window once more.

"N-no, I'll answer it." I stuttered, taking a deep breath as I gathered the words to answer her question. "Well, I didn't really wanted to commit suicide, it's just that these voices in my head kept on ringing over and over, saying the same words on repeat and I wanted to make them shut up."

"So you resulted in ending your life? Just to make them disappear?"

"Y-yeah, something like that."

"How did the voices start? Were you bullied? Did someone hurt you?"

"Well, you could say that." I scratched the back of my head as I smiled sadly, looking at Tatsumi. "You see, people didn't really like me. They see me as weird and as a freak and that made it hard for me to make friends. And I guess the loneliness I felt made me hear the voices in my head? So yeah, maybe I got so lonely that the voices started appearing inside my head, telling me things that made me suicidal. People didn't like the way my eyes looked so, they treated me as a freak."

"Your eyes?"

I nodded as Tatsumi looked at me, confusion on her expression. "Right, hold on." I began taking off the contacts I was wearing, revealing the different colors of my eyes. "See? My eyes don't have the same color, my left eye is green and my right eye is orange. People made fun of me because of them, thinking that I'm a witch or something."

I saw Tatsumi's expression changed from confusion to shock as she looked at my eyes. "I-I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you." I quickly started putting back my contacts, apologizing to Tatsumi.

I looked down after I placed my contacts back, waiting for something. I don't know what it is that I am waiting for, I just felt like waiting. Am I waiting for Tatsumi to scream and freak out? Am I waiting for her to tell me to leave? I don't really know, all I know is that I should wait for something to happen.

"Tetsuo..." Tatsumi called out, placing her hand on my cheek. I slowly raised my head and our eyes met, we were staring into each other's eyes. She smiled as she kept looking at my eyes, this warm and comforting feeling in my heart started appearing. "Can I have your eyes?"

"W-what...?" I asked, blushing as Tatsumi kept on staring at my eyes.

"Can I keep them? Can I...." Tatsumi stopped her sentence as she held my hand, interlocking her fingers with mine. "Can I keep you?"

"W-what are you talking about!?"

Tatsumi lets out a giggle as she wraps her arms around me, hugging me tight. "I won't let anyone hurt you, and I'll make sure that no one makes fun of your eyes."

"What's gotten into you!?" I kept on blushing as Tatsumi kept on hugging me, making me rest my head on her chest. "L-let go of me! Your chest is on my face!" Tatsumi let's out a chuckle as she finally lets go of her hug.

What's with her sudden change of emotions!? First she was all suicide and now she's clingy and stuff!

"Hey, Tetsuo?" Tatsumi called as she started tying her hair in a little messy bun, revealing her scar.

"W-what are you doing?" I asked, looking away as I remember that she doesn't like people staring at her scar.

Tatsumi let's out a giggle as she placed her hand on my cheek, turning my head to face her. "Don't worry, it's okay. I won't get mad if you stare at them."

"What's going on?"

"Well, since you told me about your eyes, then it's only fair to tell you about my scars." Tatsumi smiled as she continues, pointing at her scars. "These aren't technically, really scars, they're a birth mark of some kind."

"Birth mark?"

"Yes, don't tell me you don't know what a birth mark is!"

"N-no, no! I know what a birth mark is."

"Good! Now, the scars on my cheek and neck aren't my only birth mark. See?" Tatsumi then started raising up her shirt, showing me her waist. She lifted her shirt a little bit too high, making me see a little bit of her bra.

"H-hey! What are you doing!?" I yelled, covering my eyes.

"Showing you my other birth mark! What does it look like I'm doing!?"

"Well your bra is showing!!!"

"Well why did you look at it!? Pervert!!!" Tatsumi yelled as she hit me with her pillow, repeating the word pervert. "I was only showing you my birthmarks! Why did you look at it!?"

"I didn't mean to! Why did you raise your shirt without warning anyway!?"

"Well I thought you would get the message that I was only showing you my birthmarks!" Tatsumi lets out a sigh as she places the pillow back on her bed. "Anyway, enough of that. Like you, I also hear voices that makes me suicidal, and these scars are the start of the voices. The voices appeared when I was just 8."

Tatsumi stops for a minute, as if she was recalling something from her past. The energy she had earlier suddenly disappeared, a soft sad smile forming on her face.

"I-is it okay if we talked about your scars?" I started getting worried, seeing how Tatsumi's reacting about telling me about her scars, seeing that something is bothering her.

"No, no, it's okay." Tatsumi smiled as she continued, letting out a sigh. "Anyway, because of these scars, my parents didn't want me, they said that these scars of mine will ruin their life, that these scars will make them lose all of their money."

Tatsumi stops from time to time, giving a soft small smile as she looks at me. "My parents would beat me up everytime they lost in the casino. They didn't want me sleeping inside the house because they said that I'm a filthy freak who doesn't deserve to live so they made me sleep in the barn we had."

Tatsumi kept on telling me her story and tears started rolling down her cheeks. "I tried to be happy, telling myself that my parents are only doing this to me because they want to keep me safe, but then the voices started appearing, telling me that I should commit suicide to end it all. I was scared, I was just a kid, I didn't know what to do. I was a freak.... And I still am..."

"Tatsumi..." I muttered, sitting next to her. I wanted to comfort her but I don't know how to. I want to tell her something but I don't know what to tell her.

Tatsumi smiled at me as tears kept falling down her eyes, rolling on her cheeks. She then wrapped her arms around me, resting her face on my shoulders as she started sobbing, my shirt started getting wetter from her tears. I didn't say a word and I just let her cry, patting her on the back, trying to comfort her.

A minute passed and Tatsumi pulled out from her hug, wiping away the tears left on her eyes before she smiles at me. "And that's the reason why I want to keep your eyes, that's the reason why I said I wanted to keep you! So I can protect you!"

My eyes grew wide after hearing Tatsumi. "Protect me...?"

Tatsumi nodded as she kept smiling, a smile I've never seen on her before. It was a smile that was filled with hope, no sign of suicidal thoughts or suicidal voices are to be seen on her smile. It's a smile that makes me want to protect it, it's a smile that I don't want to leave Tatsumi's face.

"Tatsumi... You don't need to protect me... Because I will protect you!"

Tatsumi stares at me before letting out a laugh.

"W-what's funny...?" I asked, wondering why she's laughing.

"This is so cringe!"

"W-what...?"

Tatsumi stops laughing and she let's out a giggle, wrapping her arms around me as she rest her chin on my shoulder. "Hey? Tetsuo?"

"Y-yes?"

"Let's protect each other? Okay?"

"O-okay...?"

Tatsumi let's out a giggle as she kisses my cheeks, making me blush hard. "Then make sure that you don't die when I get to live."

End of Chapter