<< m i s a o >>
"MISAO. MISAO! LOOK HERE I HAVE A COOL TRICK TO SHOW YOU!" I watched as Toshiro excitedly laid 9 coins on my table and then arranged them so that there were 5 coins going down and 4 coins lined horizontally next to the first coin. A dumb smile was playing on his lips. "There! If you can do this one, I will listen to any of your request. But if you can't do it, you have to listen to mine. Call?"
My eyes travelled from his face to the coins on my table. "What should I do?"
"You have to arrange these coins so that there are 5 coins going down and 5 coins on the top at the same time, but you can only move one coin."
"Okay." I stared at the coins and thought for a second. Then I lifted the fifth coin from the line that was going down then placed it on top of the first coin. With that, there were 5 coins on both lines. I glanced up to Toshiro and on his face showed disbelief that I was able to do his trick.
"Ha?! You know it, Misao?"
"You already did that before." I gave him a small but mocking smile.
His eyes widen. "I already showed it to you?"
I shrugged as I turned my back on him. "Go back to your seat, the professor will come soon."
He quickly stepped in front of me again. "Really? Did I show it to you before? I can't remember."
"Not to me but I watched you did that thing before."
***
"TOSHIRO, HAPPY BIRTHDAY."
Youjin greeted Toshiro when he and Eisuke came to our table during lunch. They are our friends from another department and Youjin is Keita's boyfriend. Ever since Youjin and Keita became a couple, he and Eisuke became part of the group and we always eat together. Their friendship and relationship had been ambiguous right from the start that they suffered great pains just to be where they are now. It was never easy to admit that kind of love. Somehow, deep down in my heart, I'm envious of their courage.
"Thank you, Youjin. We will celebrate later, you have to come."
"Hmmmm…" Youjin looked at Eisuke, I think mentally asking him if he'll come too. Youjin and Eisuke are best friends.
"Youjin, you have to come. If not, for sure, Keita will ditch us too." Fumihiro said from across Youjin.
"You sure!" Keita chimed in as he places his arm over Youjin's shoulders.
Eisuke made a face at him. " Err so clingy…"
"What is it to you if I'm clingy? You're just jealous." Keita retorted. Right, those two are always bickering like cats and dogs. We often wonder if they are really in good terms or not.
"Enough. I will celebrate with you guys it's Toshiro's birthday after all. Right Eisuke?"
Eisuke just shrugged at Youjin.
"Nice!!" Fumihiro and Toshiro cheered.
"And we'll have to see what Misao will ask Toshiro to do later." Keita said giggling.
Youjin raised a brow. "What Misao will ask Toshiro to do?" He repeated as he looked at me. I simply shrugged as a response.
Fumihiro laughed a little bit too loud. "What happened was… Toshiro made a bet with Misao that if he's able to solve his trick he'll do whatever Misao says. But this idiot lost the bet that's why we're looking forward to that fun later."
"I was tricked. Misao already saw me did that trick before and he took advantage of that. Today's even my birthday…" Toshiro pouted like a little kid.
"That's what makes it fun, it's your birthday party!" Fumihiro placed his arm over my right shoulder, teasing Toshiro more. "Misao, if you can't think of anything for Toshiro to do, you can definitely ask me."
"Hey Fumihiro you better not—"
"Sorry Fumihiro but I already have something in mind." I said calmly so they can finally stop and we can eat our lunch.
"Oi Misao, don't make me do something embarrassing…"
***
WE ALL SANG THE BIRTHDAY SONG FOR TOSHIRO before we cheered for a drink. Everyone kept talking about how nice it is to celebrate on a Friday so we can drink until we're wasted.
After more than an hour of our happy drinking, Toshiro's face suddenly became serious.
"I can't believe nobody got a gift for me? I've been waiting since morning…"
Fumihiro chuckled. "What are you? A kid?"
"Isn't it enough that we're celebrating with you?" This time it's Keita. He's trying so hard to keep a straight face but in a split second a grin forced its way to his lips.
"Oi, Misao! Even you didn't prepare a gift for me? I thought we're friends..." He made a fake sobbing sound as he wiped his eyes off his non-existent tears.
"Isn't it enough that I'm celebrating with you?" I said trying to imitate Keita but I did it better keeping a serious expression. They all burst laughing, including Toshiro.
"Damn, Misao! You made my night!" Toshiro said still in a fit of laughter.
'You made my night.'
Those words echoed in my ear again and again. I'm glad but I'm sure I will also the one who will ruin it later.
"Misao…" I was surprised when I saw Youjin already sitting beside me.
"Youjin?"
He leaned closer to me as if he's about to say something the world could never know. "You prepared a gift for him right?" He said in a whisper.
I nodded. "How did you know?"
He grinned. "I just knew it."
I suddenly felt a stare boring into me. I looked around and saw Keita glaring.
"Why won't you give it to him now?" He asked again.
"Later before we go home… I don't want to ruin everyone's night this early."
He looked at me puzzled. "What do you mean?"
"You'll find out later." I patted his shoulder then took a quick glance at Keita. "You better return to Keita's side, he's been throwing me daggers."
Youjin turned to Keita's direction. "Why is he doing that?"
I chuckled. "You don't know? Keita thought that I like you so he's just being jealous."
"Ha?!" It's Youjin's turn to laugh. "That's dumb!"
I laughed with him. "He can't help it. He's head-over-heels in love with you."
Youjin's cheeks suddenly turned beet red. He rubbed the back of his neck as he said, "Head-over-heels is a bit…"
"Just go back to your seat." With that he went back beside Keita and as soon as he returned Keita asked what we talked about but Youjin simply said 'secret' and I received another glare from him.
"Oi, Toshiro drink slowly. You know, your alcohol tolerance is too low and yet you drink way too much..." Fumihiro tried to take the bottle of alcohol from Toshiro's hand.
"It's fine. It's my birthday! Happy birthday to me!" Toshiro cheered, obviously he's already drunk.
"Just so you know, I won't take you home."
Toshiro was about to gulp another glass when I reached for his wrist trying to stop him. He was sitting across from me and everyone's attention turned to me when I stood up just to reach him.
Toshiro's lips stretched into a smile at the same time that his dimples crinkled, for a split second the world stopped and his innocent smile pierced through my anxious heart. His eyes as he looked at me showed that he knew and he was sure that whatever he's going to say I will never say no.
"Misao will take me home. Right, Misao?"
There it is. His magic was once again casted upon me – his smile.
I let go of his wrist allowing him to finish his drink.
"Toshiro…" I fished for my gift from inside my bag, it was a small box wrapped with navy-coloured gift wrapper, and then I placed it in front of him.
Toshiro stared at the box for a few second. "Is that a gift for me, Misao? Man, I'm happy!"
He was about to rip the wrapper when I stopped him. "Before you open that, can I say first my favour from the deal earlier?"
"Oh right! We almost forgot." Fumihiro said.
"O-Okay…" Toshiro let go of a soft laugh.
I took a lungful of air and feel them as it fill my system, and then I let them all out. I already summoned my courage. I decided to say it right here right now I can't back-out. I am aware of the possible outcome and I came to the resolve that no matter what happened I will not stop unless I try.
"Toshiro… I like you. I can do whatever it takes to make accept me. Please don't run away from me. That's the favour I want to ask of you."
It was silent for a very long time. Every one's attention is on me.
"Uhm, you can open that gift if you're ready to accept me."
A loud laughter was the next thing I heard, it was Toshiro. "Stop with the prank, Misao! It doesn't suit you."
"I'm not kidding. I really like you, Toshiro."
"Eh?" Toshiro suddenly stopped laughing.
"Misao?! You're gay too?" Fumihiro chimed in. I just nodded. "Keita, do you know about this?"
"Ugh… I know that Misao is gay but I never thought that he likes Toshiro... I thought it was Youjin."
"Since when Misao?" Toshiro's face was filled with doubt, and a hint of fear.
"Since were first years…"
***
THE REST OF THE NIGHT, AFTER MY NOT-SO SUDDEN CONFESSION, TURNS NOTHING BUT AWKWARD. Toshiro drank way too much after that too and he's lost in his thoughts. I didn't regret my decision when I told him my feelings. It would have happened sooner or later. I want him so much I couldn't afford to see somebody else take him away. Even at the expense of our friendship.
"Misao…" I felt a light pat on my back.
"Youjin." I looked over his shoulder and I saw Keita paying our bill with Toshiro's wallet.
"Are you okay?"
I nodded. "I'm fine, why?"
He scrunched up his nose as he thinks. "I know you're strong willed and you helped me a lot before with my relationship with Keita but I just want to say that if you need someone to talk to, you know, to vent out or something, You can always come to me."
"Oh… Sure. Thank you Youjin."
Then his lips draw into a big curve. "I can buy you ice cream sandwich if you want to."
That made me chuckled. "I'll take you up on your offer."
"Let's go guys?" We didn't notice Keita was already behind us.
"Yeah. But… Toshiro's totally wasted."
We all turn to look at Toshiro, who's currently leaning over the table completely passed out.
"Yeah, bro." Fumihiro lightly punched my arm. "Your revelation was super shocking that's why this monkey drunk a bit too much. I didn't expect that my friends could swing that way."
"Hey! That's enough. You're not any better than Toshiro!" Eisuke scolded Fumihiro. "Let's go guys. We should go home."
"How 'bout that drunkard?" Fumihiro said pointing at his sleeping friend. He was swaying as he stood up.
"I will take him home." I volunteered.
Fumihiro threw me a suspecting eye with a glimpse of disgusts. It was only for a split second but I caught on that.
"I'll take him home safe. I won't do anything to take advantage on him." I clarified monotonously.
"Misao?" It was Youjin.
"I didn't mean anything like that, bro." Fumihiro laughed awkwardly. "Anyways you were the one taking him home every time he's dead drunk."
"I said you're wasted too, right? Just stop talking man." Eisuke butt in again looking at Fumihiro with an annoyed expression.
"Yeah yeah. I will stop talking… Okay, I'll just go first. Take care on your way home." Fumihiro said his goodbye then left.
"Just ignore that idiot. He's just drunk he doesn't know what he's saying." Keita reached out to touch my shoulder. An awkward but reassuring smile was playing on his lips.
"I will help you call a cab…" Si Eisuke.
"Thanks Eisuke but I already book an Uber" I glanced at my phone for a second. "He'll arrive soon."
"Oh, good."
"Come on, I'll help you…"
Keita helped me carry Toshiro out from the pub to the side of the street until the car I booked arrived. I made Toshiro ride the car first then when it was my turn to go inside Keita stopped me.
"Misao…" He rubbed the back of his head. "Uhm… I can't exactly say that I support you because you and Toshiro are both my friends, and… you know, he has his own feelings and decision too. But what I can tell you is that I understand you and I want both of you to be happy. I hope, whatever happens after this night, we'll all remain friends."
I felt a small twinge in my chest. "Thank you, Keita."
I rode the car and we drove off.
Toshiro was out the whole ride. It was pretty dim inside the car but I can almost see how red his cheeks were. I watched his drunken face the whole time and it was still so beautiful.
The car stopped in front of his house then I paid the driver.
"Toshiro wake up. We're already here." I shook his shoulders and his brows furrowed. "Toshiro…"
He opened his eyes slowly and a little bit trying to make out the situation. He groaned quietly then his eyes found me. "Misao?"
"Yep." I helped him get off the car and when I did he shoved my hands away.
"I can stand on my own." But it was so obvious that he can't. He was staggering as he walked towards his house while I just stayed behind him ready to catch him if he ends up falling. He was opening the gate when he stopped and turned to face me. "Ah, Misao."
"What is it, Toshiro?"
He fished out something from inside his bag. It was my gift. "You better take this back."
"But that's my gift for you."
"It was a gift with consequence, right?" He glanced up to face me and as the moonlight illuminated his flustered face I caught a glimpse of fear and sadness on his eyes before he quickly averted his gaze away from me again. "Open this when I accept you? I don't think I—"
"No." I cut him short. I'm not ready to hear him say those words just yet. " You should just keep it."
"I said I can't!" He fumed. His eyes were welling up looking as if he's about to cry, maybe from anger or disappointment or disgust. His eyes traced to his right side. "You're not taking this back? Fine." Then he threw the box to the garbage can on his right. He scoffed at me as he enters their house.
My eyes never left the closed door as I stood dejected in the middle of an empty street. He shut me out. My feelings were never welcomed, they're not even invited in the first place. My love was thrown in the dirt.
checkmate chapter 001 / end