CHAPTER 15: It Happened 'That Night'
BROOKE ESGUERRA
I haven't had any slept at all ever since that night. Sa tuwing ipinipikit ko ang mga mata ko, paulit-ulit na nagpe-play nang malinaw sa isip ko ang mga nangyari. Naaamoy ko pa rin ang samyo ng sariwang dugo at laman sa loob ng kuwarto ko. I scrubbed it as hard as I could. Wala na ang mga bakas ng dugo pero tila naiwan ang amoy niyon. Nilabhan ko na rin nang ilang beses ang bed sheet but still, the smell of blood remained. Or maybe my mind was just making things up. Hindi ako sigurado.
Um-absent ako nang dalawang araw para ayusin ang sarili ko pati na rin ang bahay. I took out all of their things and burned them all. Ayoko na silang muling maisip pa. Paulit-ulit kong pinapaalala sa sarili ko na deserve nilang pareho iyon. Pero parang unti-unti na ring bumibigay ang sarili ko sa kabaliwan. I kept seeing them like they were still there.
Celaena pushed the entrance door of the McDonald's open and walked towards the counter. We were lucky enough na walang taong nakapila. Nakabili na kami ng milk tea ni Celaena and we both craved for fries and burgers kaya heto kami ngayon. Si Blair naman ay nag-ikot sa mall para humanap ng bakeshop.
As Celaena stated our orders, nag-ring ang phone ko sa bulsa ng jacket.
When I took it out, I saw Kaleon's name. I quickly answered it.
His voice sounded like he was panicking. "C-can I talk to you for a minute, Brooke? I'm outside of McDonald's. Just come out for a second, please."
Nagsimulang bumilis ang tibok ng puso ko. Bigla ay nakaramdam ako ng tila isang malamig na kamay na dumaan sa balat ko. Pumihit ako patalikod at nakita ang pigura ni Kaleon sa labas ng McDonald's.
"Sure, wait lang," sabi ko at tinapos ang tawag.
Nagpaalam ako kay Celaena na may kikitain lang ako sa labas. Pinasadahan niya ng tingin ang labas at nakita si Kaleon na nakatayo.
"Okay, girl," sabi niya at ngumiti nang nakakainis.
I just rolled my eyes at her. "I'll be back in a sec," I said before walking out of McDonald's.
Nang lumingon si Kaleon sa gawi ko, I suddenly remembered every detail of what happened that night. Bigla ay nagkaroon ng bahid ng dugo ang kanyang antipara. I blinked and the blood stains were gone. Kinalma ko ang sarili ko pilit na nginitian siya.
Mahigpit niya akong hinawakan sa braso ko at niyugyog. "Are you hurt somewhere? Tell me, Brooke! How can I help you?"
"Hey, what's up?" sabi ko sa pinaka-kaswal na tono.
"H-hey," aniya at lumapit sa 'kin. "Alam kong sinabi mo sa 'kin na k-kalimutan na ang nangyari no'ng gabing 'yon—"
"I-I killed—" but before I could continue what I was about to say, a scream tore through the silence between us. Nanggaling iyon sa loob ng bahay.
When I looked back at Kaleon, hindi ko maitindihan ang nakita ko sa kanyang mga mata. Takot? Galit? Awa? Hindi ako sigurado. He started walking towards our house. Mabilis kong hinigit ang kanyang kamay.
I quickly cut him off and furtively glanced around us. May ilang mga tao na nakatambay sa harap ng McDonald's kaya hinila ko siya papunta sa parking lot kung saan walang tao.
"Ilang ulit ko bang sinabi sa 'yo na kalimutan na natin ang nangyari. It never happened, okay? I'm grateful for what you did—"
Pinutol niya ang sasabihin ko pa sana. "Grateful? Are you fucking serious?"
"K-Kaleon, l-leave. P-please," nagmamakaawang sabi ko sa kanya. "H-hindi mo gugustuhing madamay rito. Leave n-now…"
Ngayon ko lang nabigyang pansin ang kanyang mukha. He seemed like he hadn't been sleeping for weeks. Naaamoy ko ang hindi nalabhang uniporme niya.
I bit my lower lip. "Look, I-I'm sorry. I know this is hard for you. But this is hard for both of us, Kal."
Marahas siyang napasabunot sa kanyang buhok. "I haven't slept after what we did, Brooke. Hindi ko magawang kalimutan ang ginawa natin. We fucking hid their—"
"Kal, lower your voice," seryosong sabi ko kanya.
He stopped in his tracks and held my arms firmly. "Kaninong dugo ito? Tell me! Tell me!"
"I'm freaking out! Nagtataka na si Mama kung dapat niya ba 'kong ipatingin sa psychologist because of my strange behavior these past few days!" halos pabulyaw na sabi niya sa 'kin.
"I-I understand what you're feeling, Kal. And I'm really sorry na nadawit ka sa problema ko," pahayag ko.
"What if the police will find their—"
Mabilis kong hinawakan ang magkabila niyang pisngi. I forced him to look me in the eyes just like he did to me that night. "I remember, Kal, that you removed every trace of our DNA, so you don't have to worry about that."
"I-I can't, K-Kaleon. Madadamay ka," umiiyak na sambit ko. "Umalis ka na rito, please."
"Are you 100% sure, Brooke?" he asked me.
"Kaleon, leave. I did this. Umalis ka na rito. I-I will call the police and then…" nanginginig na rin pati ang mga labi ko. Pero pinilit kong ngumiti sa harap niya. Maybe then he will see that I can take care of this. "I will tell them that I did this. Umalis ka na, Kaleon. Please!"
And I told him the answer he wanted me to say. "I am sure," halos pabulong na sabi ko.
Marahas siyang napabuga ng hangin at mahigpit akong niyakap. Pinigilan ko ang sarili kong umiyak. Now's not the time. Alam kong kailangan ni Kaleon ng mag-a-assure sa kanya na magiging maayos din ang lahat.
"We're going to get through this, Kal," I muttered under my breath. "We're in this together now."
Those were the same words he told me that night.
I took a step away from him. "Why do you care? You don't even know who I am. Why are you still here?"
"Because I want to be here, Brooke," aniya. Ramdam kong nahihirapan din siya kahit na pilit niyang itinatago sa akin 'yon. "We're in this together now."