I feel like I've been comparing him, I mean Trevis. Since our love making last Tuesday, I've been comparing to see if I'm with the right guy.
But I don't wanna compare him, that's the battle I'm in with myself. Plus I don't even wish to compare him. He's him in his own way, in a way I like. He'll never be my ex, he's just what I need at the time I need him in.
Flashback: 31 December 2015, the day I introduced Duncan to my parents.
We have a date planned on, I want him to sleep over at my house since I wanna spend New Year with him.
We both just knocked off from work and right now we walking down my street to my house. My parents have never met him before but I've told them about him.
"So your parents? Are they cool?", Duncan asks, looking all nervous.
"Yeah they are. I told them I'm coming home with you so, relax",
Kourtney and Nala aren't home, they're at my grandmother's house visiting. We visit her every year but I can't anymore because of work.
"Alright, whatever you say", he replies.
When we get home my parents are sitting outside.
"Hey mama, dad", I greet them as I take a seat right besides my mum, leaving Duncan standing.
"Good evening Mr and Mrs Phoku", Duncan greets.
"Oh hey young man", dad replies. "How are you?",
"Good sir, thank you for asking",
"Get a chair for him to sit", mum says to me. I get up and get a chair for him.
Dad starts asking questions about his family and where he lives. He shares some details of him having relatives in his neighborhood, and ends up talking about how he knows a lot of places from working under the taxi industry for a long time.
That actually made Duncan relax pretty easy.
After theres not much to talk about, I ask my parents if it's okay for him to chill with me in my bedroom. They say it's fine so I lead him to my room.
"You sleep here? Alone?", Duncan asks as we get to my bedroom. He's surprised that my room isn't combine with the whole house, it's backrooms.
"Not really", I shake my head. "I sleep with my brother inside the house but I still use it as my bedroom", he nods, looking around.
We chill in my room after giving him food and letting him be comfortable.
Reality
That day was the best day of my life. Duncan and I were both in love and spending my new year with him became so special in such a way that we made it traditional. Every special occasion we spent together. Birthdays, public holidays, Christmas and even New years, you name it.
Monday: 21 September
I can smell the fresh scent from him as I settle in the passager seat of his car. He looks so good, so handsome.
"Hi", he glances at with with a smile.
I put my legs up on the seat, getting comfortable as I twist my body to face him. He's dressed in one of his favorite shorts that he usually has on when from work, and a buttoned up collar tshirt. On his head is a hat, which makes him even much more cute.
He stares at me for a while before saying, "I'm going to buy chips, I'm hungry", and I nod with a soft "mmmh",
I lean forward and start skipping the songs he's playing. "I should get some Tonic water, do you also want it?",
I shrug my shoulders while I'm still focused on the skip button.
"Hey", he calls out grabbing my hand and place it on his chest. "What would you like me to buy you? Doritos?", he places my hand on his lips and gives it a soft kiss.
"You go buy what you want, I've got all I need", I smile.
"What's that?", his dimples dig deeper on his cheeks as he smiles widely. "Are you referring to me?", he asks and I nod.
His smile grows bigger as he shakes his head slowly, "alright", he opens the car's door but doesn't get out. "I'll buy chips and get doritos for you",
We at a pub. He gets out of the car and heads to the store closer to the bar.
He disappears for 15minutes then comes out with chips and doritos, just like he said he will.
After getting back in the car, he drives back to my street, but parks a few houses away.
"I like it here for how dark it is", he says adjusting his seat so he can lay back. I've done that already with my seat. I open my doritos while he eats his chips, and that's when our song plays. I lay my head on the seat and start singing along with it.
"I just wanna treat you better, I just wanna treat you better",
"Oh my", Travis chuckles. "I got you to listen to this song and now you sing better than I do?",
"Yeah whatever", I smile as I continue to sing along.
...
We talked till we ended up talking about how he's always turned on whenever he's near me, even when we speak on the phone, weird right?
It actually instantly turns me on knowing I'm sitting with him while he's got a boner. It's almost midnight and he's supposed to head home but I convince him to sneak into my room with me for a quickie. Well, he's already turned on and I'm now turned on.
So now we need to follow through with my sneaking in plan.
"So you're cool with the idea of me leaving my car here alone?", he asks pointing around to show me that the street is empty. I roll my eyes and say, "that's why I said we're gonna do a quickie, it'll be quick",
"Your parents will hear the slamming of the doors", he says, raising his eyebrows in a questioning manner.
"We're getting out on my side, there's only gonna be one door slamming",
"Oh wow", he laughs. "Have you done this before?",
"No man", I join in laughing. "There's a first time for everything",
"Okay", he nods his head. "Let's do this then",
I get out of the car and he follows. We only have to close one door and I sneak him in to my room, using the gate that combines the main house and my room.
After signaling him to go in my room, I head to the bathroom. I find him by the window when I go inside. He's checking if we didn't wake my parents.
Within seconds I undress, him doing the same. I slowly back up to my bed and get on it, opening my legs. He walks closer, getting in between my legs and lowers his head until his lips touches my lips. The kiss is soft, slow, juicy. There's no need for him to get me heated up, I'm already on.
I grab on to him, pulling him closer than he already is. He pulls out a condom, out of nowhere, like he always does. He pushes himself back then dresses his dick as I get to watch, and damn, I can't help but bite my lips. He smirks, clearly reading my mind.
Our love making is beautiful, I love the way he makes me feel when he's dick is inside me. I never thought I'd be here, with him, having sex on my bed. I never thought we'd actually make eachother feel the way we feel.
Flashback: November, 2 years ago.
"I'd really like to kiss you",
We're standing infront of his grandfather's house as I refuse to go inside.
"Stop, stop", I shake my head.
"What's wrong?", he asks. He looks a bit worried.
"I know we've been friends for quite some time now and I feel like you're starting to distract me",
"Distract you?", he displays a confused expression.
"Yeah", I chuckle lightly, what I'm about to say gets me nervous. "You know how I feel about you",
"I don't", he smiles looking away.
"Yeah you do. You just, I don't know man", I shake my head, trying to cover up all my emotions with a smile. "If it wasn't for the fact that I'm in a relationship with someone, I'd-", I laugh.
"What?",
"You know you turn me on so badly", I look away, a smile spreading on my lips.
"Let's go inside then", he walks closer to me, pulling me in his arms.
I push him back lightly, "no, I have to go",
"Really? Now?",
"Yes now. I have to be home before my boyfriend calls", I reply.
"What about what you're feeling?", he asks.
"What about it?", I roll my eyes.
"Alright, I'll take you home", he nods.
Travis isn't a guy that pushes a girl to get what he wants. He's a guy who easily understands and wants someone to do what they feel is right.
At this point, Travis isn't the guy I wanna be in any relationship with, even friendship. But my heart and body says otherwise.
Reality
"You should go", I whisper out of breath. We both breathing heavily from the passionate marathon. I only want him to go cause I feel bad for his unlocked car which is parked on the street. It's not a safe neighborhood, and especially for the car he drives.
I get off bed but lose my balance, falling back on it since my legs feel all shaky. He chuckles, then hands me my panties.
By the time I finish up getting dressed, he's already fully dressed and standing by my window to see if my dad is awake. Well, he's not. It's not like we were that loud. I slide down from bed and walk to him. I put my hands around his waist, my head falling to his chest since he's tall.
"I love you", he whispers. He's actually been saying that for a while now and I haven't really said anything back. I know I'm falling for him but I just don't wanna start singing the I love you song just yet.
I look up at him, and him down at me, and just stare into each other's eyes. I then slowly push myself up, standing on my toes to kiss him. He chuckles, then leans down to place his lips on mine. I'm kissing him to assure him that not saying I love you back doesn't necessarily mean that I don't.
Earlier when we were in his car he actually told me something important, he said he believes that commitment is the only thing that keeps a relationship moving forward. That actually got me thinking that maybe he's committing to me, and that makes me feel like I should too.
"Hey, I have to go now", he kisses me then quickly pulls out so I can open the door, but I don't, I pull him back to me for another kiss.
"Nina, come on, it's late alreday", he shakes his head with a smile. "I've got an early shift in the morning", he says without letting me out of his hold.
I laugh. "Let go of me then",
"Oh", he laughs.
I open the door for him and walk him out. I watch him start his car and drive off before going in, back into the house.
He doesn't like the idea of me sneaking him in. He says its disrespect in every manner and he's actually a respectful guy.