I watch as he eats the omelet and I flash back to when he threw a plate of eggs in front of me. "Here eat this."
"I don't want to eat them. There are mushrooms in it!" I yelled. If he's trying to be accomodating he needs to ask what I like. Dumb fuck. He had already walked away. I grab the fork that fell off the plate and angrily spear the eggs. I was so humiliated and angry. I had to piss in the corner yesterday because he wouldn't let me go to the bathroom. He was being nicer though and it made him cuter. I felt myself being thrown into two separate corners trying to be understanding and hating him for all I've got. He came back in a few minutes later and nodded when he saw my empty plate.
He kneels down so he's eye level with me and grabs my face in his hand. "That wasn't so bad now was it? If you want to eat don't complain. You're lucky you got that instead of stew from last night or dog food. I don't have to feed you pretty things." He throws my head back and wipes his hands on his jeans like he's disgusted to have touched me. I felt shivers run down my spine but instead of backing away I look him in the eyes and spit at him. That was probably a bad idea but I was pissed at him treating me like trash.
I guess that was a little too disrespectful for the interim mafia boss because I felt him backhand me and I fell sideways on the floor. My head bounced off the dirt covered concrete and groan. I'm going to have a headache in about five minutes thanks to that.
"I literally have your life in my hands. I suggest you worship the ground I walk on to stay alive. I have half a mind to kill you and break my uncle out of prison." He spits at me angrily.
"I don't even think your uncle killed that family by the way. I think he's innocent." I spit at him. He didn't even stop. I don't want to be alone anymore. I wanted a bed and a shower. I wanted to eat food I cook for myself. I wanted to shower without him standing right outside his bathroom door.
"Hey Athea." I hear Ryan say as he snaps his fingers in my face. I scowl at him. "What were you thinking about?" He looks at me worriedly.
"When you made me eggs with mushrooms then slapped me for spitting at you." I say with a funny looking frown on my face.
I see him wince. He must feel really bad about what he did to me to flinch or wince again. I am being kind of harsh but it's like I don't have a filter when he's around. "Yeah. I was having problems with some things and took it out on you."
"You mean you catching feelings?" I ask playing with my hands nervously.
"Not yet. I didn't really like you then but I couldn't take hours out of my day anymore to taunt you. I had to start making ransom demands. Plus my Aunt wanted to kill you but I had to put her in her place and it wasn't fair to take my aggression out on you when I was already treating you poorly." He sounded and looked genuinely sorry for what he did to me.
"Oh."
"So what do you talk to your therapist about?"
"Like I said we talked about when we first met before I knew who you were. But I think I'm going to try and see her multiple times a week cause you're around."
"Why?"
"You're making me confused." I wring my hands and he grabs them across the island.
"I don't mean to but I want you to know I meant what I said when I let you go. Or as you slipped up and said when I left you."
I pull my hands away to cover my face. He sits there staring at me, waiting for me to look at him.
"I'm sorry. I don't mean to confuse you. Just remember your secret spot you told me about. Leave a note there and I'll come when you're ready. You just haven't had time to talk to your therapist yet I guess." He was disappointed. I could feel it radiating off of him in waves even though he was trying to hide his feelings from me.
I pull my head out of my hands and want to scream at him. I really want to kiss him but I'm recoiling mentally at the idea along with the idea of kissing anyone else. He didn't let me get raped, he didn't kill me, he let me go so why am I so confused. My feelings of gratitude have probably just morphed into something sexual. All I have to do is kiss him and be done with it.
I look in my hand and see I'm calling my therapist.
"Hello? Athea? Ms. Carter?" Pat asks when I didn't answer.
"Oh hi! I'm sorry for calling so early! Um.. can I come by again today after work. I really need to talk."
"Of course. We can talk more. What time?" Pat asks.
"Um.. four. I'll be off at three - thirty today and really- I just really want to figure out what's wrong with me and why I'm always defending him. I just don't feel like myself."
"Okay. Well, I don't have any afternoon appointments and we can do this everyday if you'd rather instead of once a week?"
"Not every day. But I'd like to maybe two or three times a week?"
"Yeah. I'll make the necessary adjustments and schedule for you to come in at least twice."
"Thank you Pat." I hang up and look at Ryan who I forgot was sitting there the entire time.
"Twice a week? Really?"
"Well- I don't have to explain myself to you." I say with a huff as I walk to my bedroom. I hear him get up following behind and watch as he sits on my bed while I get my work clothes ready. I wash hurriedly and when I re-emerge into my bedroom he is playing with the fabric of my dress. I clear my throat hoping he'll get the hint to get out so I can get dressed.
"Athe, I've seen you naked because when i first brought you out of the cellar I did everything with you." He states. It shouldn't matter that he has seen me naked. This is my place and I should have the right to get dressed without him.
"Yeah I know. But this is my house not yours now get out." I grab a shoe and throw it at him. I managed to hit his arm instead of his head, which is what I was aiming for. Oh well. he gets up and chuckles tossing the shoe back at me and shuts the door. I sigh dropping on the bed. I just can't seem to keep my wits about me when he's around. I'm someone else when he's involved.
I could feel a major difference when I thought about him and when I was with him. By myself I was confident and so sure of my decisions but with him I am scatterbrained.
Thinking back to when he let me go I sighed loudly.
"Athea." Ryan says patting the spot next to him on his bed. I was really accustomed to his presence by this point and practically bounded over to him. "I have something I need to tell you." He says with what seems like difficulty.
"Okay?" I ask furrowing my eyebrows together. I was cautious because he has never seemed as serious now then any other time he has talked to me. Besides the night when I kissed him after all the wine I drank.
"I've been struggling with whether to let you go or keep you here." He takes a deep breath and holds my face between his hands. "I have a thing for you and it's getting harder t ignore and I don't want to keep you as a prisoner any longer. So you're free to go. I have my cousin who said he'll take you home."
"Wait? You're letting me go?" I was in shock and I know I had a weird expression on my face. I wasn't sure how to feel. I know I had gained feelings for him but I couldn't admit it to myself. It was like he slapped me. I felt like he didn't actually want me. Even after our drunken nights of getting hot and bothered. He really came a long way and showed me his true character.
When it was just us we were great. We would play and joke but as soon as someone else entered I was sent to his room. I didn't get a glance or a smirk. I couldn't get any attention from him. It made me feel like I was a bother. One minute of him being hi and I felt on top of the world but as soon as there was someone else even announcing they were headed over it was as if he was dunked in an ice bath. He gave me whiplash.