I was terrified. I was stuck in a cellar with someone who would possibly kill me if he didn't get the money. He would probably kill me even if he did get the money. I was so cold and you'd think for someone who fixed my nose me staying healthy would be a priority of his. I hear footsteps on the stairs and curl into a tighter ball. I didn't want him to touch me again. I didn't want him to even look at me.
The doors slam open and I jump and screw my eyes shut. I try to make myself even smaller than before so maybe he won't hurt me again. "Get up!" I feel a swift kick to the stomach but instead he kicked my chest since that was the spot most open. I wince and start to sit up when he kicks me in my side. "Hurry up! If you want to eat you need to get a shower." He jerks me up and my wrist rubs against the cuffs. He unlocks the cuffs and holds me by my arm tightly.
"My room. I'll be bathing you to make sure you don't try to run." He shoves me up the stairs and into the kitchen. My foot catches on the last step and I fall on my hands. "Can't even keep yourself from falling. You are such a waste." He grabs me by my hair and jerks me up. My scalp yells in pain as I have no choice but to follow him. He opens his door gently shocking me because every time I see him he's rough.
"Wow. You can be gentle. For a while there I thought you were an angry little midget." I smirk. I really wish I had a brain to mouth filter.
He turns to me and scowls. "Did I say you could talk?"
"Well no but I don't care. I've done told you that my parents won't give you the ransom money." I put my hand on top of his trying to lessen the pain in my scalp. I roll my eyes and pray he doesn't hit me. He seemed shocked for a split second that I touched his hand.
He pushes me into the bathroom and slams the door behind him. I close my eyes and when I open them he's in my face pushing me again. "I didn't say you could talk. You're daddy's little girl so of course I'll get that ransom money. But since you want to act like you're in your terrible two's I'll make him wait for you." He gestures for me to undress. I fold my arms across my chest and stare at him defiantly. He takes a step forward and jerks my arms up. He starts hastily undressing me like a toddler and then starts the water. He just had to rub it in that I was acting like I was in my terrible two's.
"Ya kn-" He cuts me off with a hit to jaw. I really should have kept my mouth shut that time.My vision starts swimming. I guess I've pushed my luck enough for the day. He seems to be in a hitting mood now. Not that he already wasn't. I look down at my body and see all the bruises forming on my arms and even the one on my chest. I look up and see a mirror above the sink. I move in front of it to see what I look like and I have a few nasty bruises along my jaw and nose, a black eye and a busted lip. A cut next to my temple and blood trails down the side of my face. He's already done some damage. I was a wreck and Ryan was acting like he didn't do anything. He was practically admiring his handiwork. I whirl around before I can stop myself, "I can bathe myself or is this some sadistic game he has to really break me.
"Get over here." I hear Ryan say quieter than how he has been commanding me lately. I walk over to him and he roughly picks me up and stands me in the tub. The warm water cascading down my body felt so good and it was only then that I realized I was completely naked with someone who could easily take advantage of me just for fun. I try to take a step back but he holds me firm with one hand as he lathers a rag with the other.
"I may not mind hitting you or others but rape is not my style." He won't make eye contact with me. I thought he was lying until he did look up and started washing my face.
Against my better judgement I decide to ask, "How do I know that? You could just be acting sweet right now so then I will let my guard down." I cover myself and let out an angry sigh. He slaps me across the face causing me to fall from it being unexpected. My head hits the faucet and I see a blood drop fall. He watches as I struggle to stand up. My head is starting to hurt more now and it stings once the water hits it. He washes me gently and throws some clean clothes at me. It's just a pair of pajama bottoms and an over sized shirt. He was serious which caught me by surprise. I never thought that someone else would be bathing me or that it would be someone who has such an aversion to rape that I would feel slightly safe.
The clothes he threw me smelt good and familiar. I don't pay it much mind seeing as though I'm exhausted as he drags me behind him back down to the cellar. This time he ties a rope around my hands just long enough for me to move ten feet either direction and have extra so I can lay down and sleep. I was too weak from my injuries to try and fight and if he hit me again I wouldn't be able to stay awake. I would pass out and I possibly have a concussion so that wouldn't be in my best interest.
I open my eyes and see Pat writing furiously in her notebook. She looks up at me and smiles. "It seems to me because of your initial attraction to him it made you bolder than you probably should have been."
I chuckle and nod. "Yeah. I um..probably could have come out with less problems had I kept my mouth shut. But while he had me I figured I'd give him a run for his money and make it the worse decision he's ever made. He beat that out of me real quick though."
"You're right. Well," she sets her notebook down and crosses her hands on her lap. " I think that's all for today. I'll see you tomorrow same time?" She cocks her head making me think of dog that just heard the word treat and wanted to make sure you actually said treat. That's what I should get is a dog. Maybe a big ferocious looking one so Ryan would stay away. I doubt he would. I doubt I want him too. I felt the anxiousness and nervousness return.
By the time I get home I have three stacks of manuscripts to read and edit for the week. I feel a little lighter and I also feel scared.
Ryan grabs my bag from me and sets it down next to counter. I figure he'd have been long gone by now but he wasn't.
"You're home early."
"Um.. this is my place. Not yours."
"Yeah. I know. How was your therapist?"
"Fine. Talked about when you gave me a forceful bath." I look up and see his brown eyes staring into mine. It was as if he couldn't get enough of me. As if he was trying to read if I was going to turn him in or how I was feeling.
"Yeah. I was pretty mean at first." I rolled my eyes at his confession. Mean was an understatement.
"Yeah." I say shoulder bumping him. He smiled at the playful gesture but I was lost. He grabs my face in his hands and holds me still slightly squishing my cheeks making me look younger than I was. I was feeling a little flustered and confused by his close proximity and I felt my body heat up at his touch. A touch that I was very familiar with. A touch that I practically craved.
"I would love to kiss you right now." He looks at me studying me. I was sitting on my counter and he was standing between my legs holding my face in his hands. I pull back slightly from the intensity in his gaze and he drops his hands. "I'm sorry." He runs his hand through his hair. I think that may be a nervous habit of his. I miss sleeping with his arms around me. I miss feeling his body heat at night and I miss being able to sleep without the nightmares. I just miss the uncomplicated aspect we had when I was still his hostage.