I turn to see Mackenzie coming back and wave her over to me.
"You're here with someone?" He looked and sounded worried.
"Yeah. She's my best friend. I told her about you. Like how you bought me the coffee and muffin. She said that if we're ever together and I run into you that she would like to thank you." Especially since I barely eat. "Oh and by the way you're amazing at picking out coffee thank you." I smile at him.
"No need. I do have to go. It was nice to talk to you again." He tipped his hat to me and I lost him in the crowd. I smile like a fool because he didn't even have a hat.
"Hey. It took you an hour for the bathroom. Are there that many girls doing their makeup?"I ask sarcastically.
"Yes! You wouldn't believe!" She said seriously and we started laughing.
"So you remember that guy who I told you bought me that stuff right? I just finished talking to him. I told him you wanted to thank him and he said there was no need but that he didn't know I had company. He left saying he was sorry for intruding."
"Did you get his number at least?"
"No. I didn't. I know I should have but I couldn't. It seems as if he's interested in me but like he's scared because of my father. He gives me whiplash. He'd be a nice one night stand though." I say shrugging trying to hide my disappointment and feeling of loss by winking at the bartender.
"I don't even know what he looks like. I wouldn't be able to tell you." We start laughing and the bartender was nice enough to give us a few drinks on the house. I think he was sweet on Mackenzie. After a few hours of drinking and dancing we stand up from the bar and I notice his jacket was on the back of my chair.
"Shit. I was wondering why I kept smelling something good. Whose is that?" Mackenzie said clearly sloshed.
"Oh it's that muffin dudes." We crack up again and I stumble after her with the jacket in tow. I'll give it to him when I see him again. I love being twenty- two. I wonder what he's doing right now.
"Athea?"
"Hmmm." I sit up and look at Pat.
"Do you think that maybe because of your initial attraction is the reason why you have drifting thoughts about him?"
"Possibly. But what about my dreams?"
"How long have these dreams been going on?"
"Well since he took me." I said. I was telling the truth. I started having nightmares when I was in the cellar and now it's changed from me being the one getting beat then shot it's him getting caught then shot.
"Can you tell me about them?"
"Well when I first started having them I was in the cellar. I would dream of getting free but I would get lost and somehow make my way back to the house. He would grab me by my arm and beat me until I was bloody. Then he would have a gun and shoot me between the eyes saying that I wasn't worth the trouble. When he moved me upstairs I would dream about him locking me in the room with him and hurting me by being kind then every time I would say thank you he'd hit me. Now it's about him being caught and shot. It's always the same. We'll be talking and then my father will show up. He'll connect the dots and have him handcuffed to the stove or something and shoot him execution style."
"How do these dreams make you feel?" Pat asks. She seems worried and intrigued.
"It makes me feel bad when my dad shoots him and scared because I caused it to happen. But at the same time I'm relieved because it's like my nightmare is finally over. But when I wake up I'm crying."
"Okay. You can tell me more about what happened now." Pat mutters and scribbles in her notebook.
I lay back down and close my eyes again. "It was cold that night since it was the end of winter beginning of Spring and I slipped his jacket on. His smell enveloped me and caused me to smile slightly in my drunken state. Mackenzie thought I was insane but I didn't want to freeze to death on the walk home. It wasn't too far of a walk though. Mackenzie dropped me off at home and I had her wait inside for her cab to come and get her. She leaves and I lock the door behind her.
"Ugh." I take my heels off and throw them to the side and grin when the cool hardwood touches my feet. I was still wearing the jacket and laid down in bed when I felt a breeze hit my face. I sit up looking for the source and see my window open. I get up and close it seeing someone sitting on the dumpster beneath. I really felt bad for the homeless. Especially during the winter months. I didn't think anything of it though because sometimes there would be two or three sitting on that dumpster with the old blankets I left down there for them to use to stay warm. I may need to buy a few pillows for them too. They may be able to sleep easier. I was still drunk but climbed back in bed and fell asleep. I never did take his jacket off.
I woke up the next morning to my Mom calling me.
"Hello?" I said groggily. I was trying to wake up and my breath smelt like a bar but I felt nice and warm in his jacket. It still smelt good still which is surprising but hey if I can keep his smell then I will.
"Hey dear. How was last night with Mackenzie?"
"It was great Mom."
"Good. I was just calling to remind you to be on the lookout and stay safe. We don't want anything happening to you."
"Mom. I am twenty- two years old. I live by myself and I have more means of protection than necessary. I doubt someone would try to hurt me just to get back at father. But yes, I'll stay safe and vigilant."
The next month and a half went by in the same fashion minus getting drunk with Mackenzie. I didn't run into Muffin man again but I wore his jacket over my clothes just in case I did run into him before or after work. I wanted to give it back to him. It stopped smelling like him as much around the end of the first week of me having it.
"I still have that jacket Pat!" I sat up quickly and exclaimed.
"You do?" She looked frazzled. I wasn't trying to give her a heart attack.
"Yeah. I guess I should give it away." I was sad. I didn't want to give it away because I loved that jacket. It made me think of Ryan as the muffin man before he hurt me. Then loved me. I felt a nagging sensation push to the front of my mind.
I couldn't very well get rid of the jacket because he was back and in my life. He was around and I had it shoved in a box at the top of my closet somewhere. I really needed to get it down and wash it then give it to him. It's not like it would matter now because he's around so I'd probably end up with it again. He could leave again and then I'm stuck with his belongings again. It still wouldn't matter because I had a feeling he would make sure I would get something else of his. The thought made me smile and I look up having momentarily forgotten that I was sitting in front of Pat.
"Care to tell me what that smile was about?" Pat asks. Not in a teasing way but as if she knew where my thoughts took me.
I shake my head and shrug. I really need to get a grip on my emotions.
"If you want you can continue or we can just talk about other things." Pat takes my nonchalant manner in stride.
"My mom. She always has me on edge."
"She is just trying to protect you. I do think she is being overly protective considering you live on your own but she is just protecting you." Pat says. I roll my eyes at her playing the devils advocate.
"Did my mother pay you to tell her what I'm telling you?" I ask. I crossed my arms and raised my eyebrows.
"She did yes However, due to client confidentiality I can not tell her anything or the police unless I believe it is a threat to your well being or society."
I nod and bite my lip thinking about Ryan again. my thoughts always make a three- sixty back to Ryan and those adorable curls on the top of his head.