The rest of the day went by slowly but I got the editing done on the manuscript and gave it to Mark he was about to leave. He gestures for me to follow him into his office so he can put the manuscript on his desk.
"I wanted to apologize again about earlier Athea. I don't want to mess up our business relationship and I'd like to keep this strictly professional." Mark had his hands out to his side. Which to me seems to translate as sarcastic. However I have never heard or seen Mark act in a sarcastic manner with anyone.
"It's not a problem Mark. I don't like mixing business with pleasure. I also, really like my job so that's another factor of us not being able to be personal." I say. On the inside I'm still dying to read the paper. I had no doubt that it was from Ryan. I told him that Janet and Maria are the only two who wouldn't look at any note, flower, or any personal affects that were delivered to the office. However Maria would gossip about who it could be from and Janet didn't because she didn't care and didn't like drama. It had to be from Ryan. It could only be from Ryan.
I felt my palm twitching as if reading my thoughts and wanting to act on them. Mentally I reminded myself to check it out when Mark disappeared for lunch. Once he does that then I can pull it out to see the handwriting.
"I would like to offer you a ride home since I don't want to lose my best assistant again. If that's okay with you?" Mark pulls me out of my thoughts of Ryan.
"Uh? Oh yeah that's fine Mark. I'm sorry about zoning out. I'm just a little antsy to get home. My heels are bothering me." I had a weird feeling in my chest. I wasn't scared of Mark but I felt like maybe I didn't need to arrive home. I shake my head trying to banish thoughts of Ryan.
"It's fine. let's go." He grabs his coat and we make our way out the doors and into his car. It was quiet save for me giving him the directions to my apartment. He pulled up to the curb and put the car in park then cutting it off.
"You don't have to come in. I can look through my place by myself."
"No. I'll do it. I figured I could do this for you. I'm a little jumpy for you anyways." Indignation flashed through my body. He didn't get kidnapped. He didn't get hurt. I did and I feel better by myself than I do with anyone.
"Well thank you but this kind of makes things personal. I shouldn't have even accepted the ride from you."
"I know. I just don't like you walking home but I swear this is purely professional."
"Okay. I'll accept the rides but not the search. Thank you though."
"Not a problem. I'll stay here until you get inside at least."
I nod opening the door. The air had a slight chill to it and I was glad it wasn't summer anymore. I dug my keys out of my jacket pocket and sigh with relief that my mini can of pepper spray is still on their. I wouldn't ever use it on Ryan if he showed up but I did buy it in case someone else wanted to try to do something. I unlock and push my door open and wave by to Mark as he pulls away. I shut and lock the door and then push the little table I have for my keys and purse against the door. Old habits dies hard I thought as I realized that I used to do this the first week after I arrived home just to try to keep Ryan from coming in and hurting me. It never worked because I was still jumpy.
I change into some pajamas and slip under the covers in my bed. I was staring at the curtains on my window blowing. I got up thinking I may have forgotten to shut them this morning before I left for my appointment. I had to have. Ryan may know where I live but he wouldn't sneak in my place and give me a heart attack after everything, would he? I grab my gun and make my way through my apartment cautiously when I hear a few creaks coming from inside my bedroom.
"Come out if you know what's good for you. I have a loaded gun and will use it!" I shout to the emptiness. I hope it's emptiness because if it's not I'm scared I won't fight.
"Don't shoot Attie." I hear his voice. I turn around with my gun pointed up but don't see him. Great, not only do I think about him constantly but now I'm hearing him. I really was going insane. Maybe I need to go to the loony bin. By the time I finish my search my apartment is empty and I sit down on my bed before I remember the paper. I run to the door and grab my purse pulling it out and unfolding it.
"I remember you telling me how Janet is the most trustworthy one in your department. I haven't stopped thinking of you and really want to see you again. Just let me know if you want to see me again. I'm around. I'll see or hear you. If you don't fee like saying something out loud just leave me a note in your favorite spot you told me about. The one that no one knows about. Our secret place. Ryan."
My hands start tingling. I knew it! It was Ryan that gave this to Janet. He must have waited until I was out of the office to turn the corner. He was in my office. A grin broke across my face. I started feeling more alive than I had in a while. My adrenaline was spiked and my face was turning red. I'm just happy he's okay and still free. There was no way in hell I could possibly have a thing for him even though he's practically my every waking thought. I sympathize and understand him as a person but am still cautious about getting jumped again. I could have been treated a lot worse than what he did treat me. I'm grateful and just need to tell him that even if it means I come face to face with him and anything I could possibly be repressing.
My phone rings bringing out of my happiness and I shake my head to clear my thoughts.
"Hello? Who is this?"
"It's Mom. Did you not check your caller i.d.?"
"No. Sorry. I just got out the shower."
"Oh. Okay. How'd that appointment go? Do you like her?"
"Yes Mom, I like her. It feels pretty okay to talk about it. We didn't talk about much today. I'll be seeing her next week on Thursday."
"Good. I'm glad you're finally getting help. You need to rid that piece of crap from your thoughts."
"Sure Mom." I say through gritted teeth. i don't think she noticed the irritation in my voice though because she kept talking.
"So, how was work?"
"Mom.. I'm pretty beat. I'm going to sleep. I'll talk to you another time. And please stop calling me I'm twenty three years old." I say and I hear something move again. There was no way he came through the front door.
"Oh honey I'm just trying to make sure you're okay."
"Yeah Mom. I know. I gotta go. Bye." I say and hang the phone up while grabbing my gun again. I really am a scaredy cat, like Ryan said.
While holding my gun I realized that even if I am a scaredy cat at least I did something to protect myself before all of this happened. I also, can't help it when someone jumps out of nowhere to scare me. Ryan caused me a lot of grief. I shake my head to focus on protecting myself and not on thoughts of him. I don't understand why he let me go. I don't understand why he trusts that I'm not going to say anything to the cops. I mean who does that with a kidnapped victim. Most of the time the victim gets killed at the end of the show unless it's in Criminal Minds then everyone practically gets saved.
Memories of episodes flash through my mind and I start checking over my shoulder to make sure no one has climbed through my room or come through the front door. I have yet to look in the kitchen and part of me is too scared to search it. This is why I don't like crime shows because the show makes me think of things that could or could not happen when I am home alone. Which for the most part I am alone.